FabSwingers.com forum: "Sexualistation"

By *9molotov69 OP Man
38 weeks ago

Dublin

I've been pt~ing a class of women there's 25 of them, twice a week the past month, they were like lambs at the beginning but now it's like their a gang and the absolute filth from their mouths now is unreal. I'm not complaining I love the banter I never instigated any of it I'm very professional that way BUT I tend to try see things from other people's pov, if I was a woman in a class pt~ing men and they start all that messin the girl be traumatized! The question is why is it fellas don't care about being sexualised but women do, and why is it women would go mental for sexualising them but feel its OK for them to do it! Just curious!

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Safety is a huge one, I doubt you ever felt truly threatened by the group of ladies.

Their are other issues too but I'm sure lots of people will give their opinions on it.

It shouldn't happen but it does, herd mentality.

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By *ubadubdubWoman
38 weeks ago

Hereabouts

I've no idea why this is happening, it's a boldness in women we've not really been coming out with before.

Is it ok or not with you. Is it

uncomfortable or intimidating, does it distract you from your work. I think if it's any of these you need to get professional with the group and gently remind them stay focussed on the work and not on you

I'd love to hear from men on this one

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I think I would laugh it off and ignore most of it. I suspect most men would do the same

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By *electableicecreamMan
38 weeks ago

The West

Someone pointed out to me that it's not an apple's to oranges comparison for men and women and I believe this to be true.

Men feel safer for a start. The overt physical risk isn't there and so light-hearted flirting and dirty jokes don't necessarily carry the same undertones or intent. I think everyone accepts this to a point.

I teach adult classes in a physical exercise context OP and I know in myself I would be very uncomfortable in a situation where liberties were being taken in jest that wouldn't fly if the genders were reversed.

At the end of the day it's your career on the line and the last thing you want to happen is that you get cancelled for an innocent response that someone took exception to, or even just a complaint from a participant who felt uncomfortable in a charged environment that you allowed to carry on.

Just my two cents

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By *lueLotusWoman
38 weeks ago

the wilderness

They now feel safe enough with you to mess about, they're pushing your boundaries to test where they are, and yes it can be a herd or a pack mentality but I agree with _ubadubdub... If it's not OK with you I hope you feel safe enough to speak up to them and remind them you're a professional doing a job, not a 'pal' for bantering, and that respect goes both ways

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By *voidingboredomMan
38 weeks ago

around

Yeah fully agree that if you don't feel comfortable then you should say it to them that you're a professional etc and to respect boundaries

I teach the odd adult class in sport and can definitely say I've never once been flirted with at all. Don't know what says about me or the class members or anything but there's definitely sexy banter of any type!

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By *lueLotusWoman
38 weeks ago

the wilderness

Realise I'm giving advice where it wasn't asked for there, sorry. To answer the question, women in general don't think it's ok to sexualise men like that. I don't know why your class seem to think it's ok, it's certainly not the norm in my experience and in my friend group.

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By *9molotov69 OP Man
38 weeks ago

Dublin

I'm not the type to feel intimidated by women or even men I recon they just feel comfortable around me now to have that flirty banter I don't take anyone seriously at all like I'm so easy going a woman would litterly have to throw herself at me for me to catch on I never push for anything I always do matching energies, I had a think about it an people on here hit the nail on the head 1 it's pack mentality 2 it's they feel comfy around me to do it the 3rd is the exercise I do have them sweating so their Lil endorphins be level 10!

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By *ohannonMan
38 weeks ago

Louth / Meath

I had something similar OP but it was in the work place. Before i knew it, they were talking to me in meetings & virtual meetings like i was their human dildo. One in particular turned their camera off & described to me how they were undressing. I escalated it to mgmt, HR got involved & the 2 women couldnt see what they did wrong. One in particular said “whats the issue, he’s a man & i’m a woman, i cant get in trouble for this.” They both ended up losing their jobs & i do feel bad about it but at the same time equality is what we all want & if its affecting you, then best to address it.

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By *ubadubdubWoman
38 weeks ago

Hereabouts

"I had something similar OP but it was in the work place. Before i knew it, they were talking to me in meetings & virtual meetings like i was their human dildo. One in particular turned their camera off & described to me how they were undressing. I escalated it to mgmt, HR got involved & the 2 women couldnt see what they did wrong. One in particular said “whats the issue, he’s a man & i’m a woman, i cant get in trouble for this.” They both ended up losing their jobs & i do feel bad about it but at the same time equality is what we all want & if its affecting you, then best to address it."

Sorry to hear this, that's an awful situation to be put in.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/24 19:05:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"I've been pt~ing a class of women there's 25 of them, twice a week the past month, they were like lambs at the beginning but now it's like their a gang and the absolute filth from their mouths now is unreal. I'm not complaining I love the banter I never instigated any of it I'm very professional that way BUT I tend to try see things from other people's pov, if I was a woman in a class pt~ing men and they start all that messin the girl be traumatized! The question is why is it fellas don't care about being sexualised but women do, and why is it women would go mental for sexualising them but feel its OK for them to do it! Just curious! "

A class but definitely not classy!

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

It’s not ok and it should be made known by male or female been subjected to it

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By *chochamberWoman
38 weeks ago

Munster

I think you need to shut it down politely, maybe don't laugh along with it, and say "OK, enough fun and games it's time to focus on the reason we are here".

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By *onderingpurposeMan
38 weeks ago

Belfast

You are in the Pleasure Boys and I claim my prize

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
38 weeks ago

Northside

As mentioned above,it's like a pack mentality. I've been in work situations where the majority were women and the absolute filth they came out with was unreal! I reckon it was done for the shock value...and the more I ignored it,the worse it got! I've never felt intimidated or threatened in that environment but if the genders were reversed I honestly believe there would be uproar! And rightly so. It's all harmless fun until someone gets offended...better off not reaching that point and unfortunately you won't know you're there until someone complains....and then it's too late!! Nip it in the bud and stick to the job you're paid to do,for everyone's sake!!

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
38 weeks ago

South Down

"I think you need to shut it down politely, maybe don't laugh along with it, and say "OK, enough fun and games it's time to focus on the reason we are here". "

I agree you need to shut it down, and if it's making you uncomfortable (or it's unwelcome for ANY reason) you should report the situation to your HR department. It's not ok for anyone to do this, male or female. Many many women do not endorse or engage in this kind of behaviour.

The legal definition of sexual harassment "is when someone carries out unwanted sexual behaviour towards another person that makes them feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated.

It is also when someone carries out this behaviour with the intention of making someone else feel that way. This means that it can still be sexual harassment even if the other person didn’t feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated".

And it's perhaps this that is why some men might find it less threatening than women in general. It's the person in receipt of the behaviour who decides if it's unwanted.

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