FabSwingers.com forum: Women who make the first move

By *asual777 OP Man
47 weeks ago

i travel all over

Inspired by the lounge

Please post if you’re a woman who has made the first move here or outside fab and perhaps give us as much detail as you feel comfortable with

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By *eeking_sensuality77Woman
47 weeks ago

Athlone

When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.

Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?

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By *lassy lady 216Woman
47 weeks ago

Craigavon

After nearly a yr of admiring someone from afar I took the bull by the horns and gave the person I had been admiring a Christmas card with a little message in it asking if they would like to go for a coffee sometime and my phone number we are meeting for a walk and a coffee tomorrow to be continued!!!!

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By *osyRedLipsWoman
47 weeks ago

Kildare

I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it.....

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By *omtom1969Man
47 weeks ago

ashbourne

"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.

Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?"

Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move

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By *eeking_sensuality77Woman
47 weeks ago

Athlone

"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.

Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?

Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move"

I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!

So to answer your question...no!

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By *eeking_sensuality77Woman
47 weeks ago

Athlone

"After nearly a yr of admiring someone from afar I took the bull by the horns and gave the person I had been admiring a Christmas card with a little message in it asking if they would like to go for a coffee sometime and my phone number we are meeting for a walk and a coffee tomorrow to be continued!!!!"

Absolutely love this!! Huge luck with your date tomorrow. It's true we are in control of our own destiny.

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By *ohnc_cMan
47 weeks ago

Belfast

"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.

Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?

Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move

I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!

So to answer your question...no!

I'm guessing that's about to change for you now lol, hopefully not by weirdos though

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By *WEETESTSTRAWBERRYFOR1Woman
47 weeks ago

Clare

Definitely no problem in sending a message be it through a chat group or too a profile of interest. If no interest nothing lost. We're all adults here .

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By *s LollyWoman
47 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

On here i make the first move all the time, if a profile catches may eye or if we'd had some interaction on here ill read there bio then send a message, if i find the chat going well id suggest a coffee or lunch if that's not possible due to distance and im travelling and happen to be in there area ill invite them to my hotel instead but we would be chatting a few weeks for that to happen

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By *eeking_sensuality77Woman
47 weeks ago

Athlone

"When I used to have a profile on dating sites I found it no bother making th first move.

Here for some reason I've never sent a first message. Can't explain why, but it just doesn't seem like the done thing?

Would it be because on here women are flooded with messages that you'd never get the chance to make the first move

I must be the only lady on fab who isn't being bombarded with messages!

So to answer your question...no!

I'm guessing that's about to change for you now lol, hopefully not by weirdos though

You reckon? Wasn't my intention but if it's the upshot turn sure happy days!! Lol

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By *rish In DubaiMan
47 weeks ago

Carlow

"I've sent the first message so many times to men and couples here even unverified profiles if they interest me. Why shouldn't women make the first move! I'm also fine with rejection if they don't reply I don't feel need to start a thread about it....."

Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move.

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By *ustBoWoman
47 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Yes I have made the first move on here and in real life. I don't have an issue making the first move especially on here if a profile catches my eye when I meeting new people.In fact I would prefer to search myself than rely on messages and it's why I keep my filters so tight.

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By *osyRedLipsWoman
47 weeks ago

Kildare

Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move.

Did you not get the pigeon mail I sent to Dubai

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By *ea ShellsWoman
47 weeks ago

Sligo

I volunteer in a hospice shop. Cute guy there so I took the liberty of giving him my card (!) with my number on it asking him to take me for a drink. He messaged lots that night and we met in a car park to discuss and make plans. I was very excited but sadly nothing, absolutely nothing has happened other than continuous flirtation and promises ever since. Maybe for the best. Too close a situation.

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By *og-ManMan
47 weeks ago

somewhere

Is this the fella from the coffee shop ....think you wrote about him in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I generally prefer to make the first move tbh. If a profile is well written and the pics are good, I send the guy a message.

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By *elfastDMan
47 weeks ago

belfast

Always great to see a first move from a woman, it gives me a flutter and puts me straight into flirt mode

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By *etsDoIt_80Man
47 weeks ago

Midlands

Agreed, it’s a great feeling when a woman sends the first message. Makes a change.

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By *rish In DubaiMan
47 weeks ago

Carlow

Ah Rosie. I'm stilling waiting for you to make the first move.

Did you not get the pigeon mail I sent to Dubai

I did have a dead pigeon on my balcony.

That explains it so!!

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
47 weeks ago

ireland

Lifes too short to wait ,have sent plenty of first messages to profiles that appealed to me !

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By *allmesir2k19Man
47 weeks ago

Ballymena

Must admit I do thoroughly enjoy logging in to find a message thread initiated by a woman.

Just something about it gives me a little thrill and lets me know that the initial interest is there.

So any of you lovely ladies out there who take a look please do send that first message! May lead to some exciting times for us both.

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By *asual777 OP Man
47 weeks ago

i travel all over

Sorry forgot to mention . Ladies posting here are also encouraged to make a new first move today to add some spice to the thread

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
47 weeks ago

belfast

I work on the basis that most women now are getting 100s of messages a day and I’m not sure if mine will stand out from the crowd, unless we’ve hit it off on the forums or chatrooms. So I rarely initiate a conversation now, unless I think I’m exactly what she might be looking for. Happy to work on the basis that if the woman notices me and messages first, it’s more likely to gig somewhere.

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By *s LollyWoman
47 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

I don't get many messages because my filters are set as tight as a ducks ass, i don't look at winks or who @looked at me, some people are shy or nervous or just can't make that first approach that was me year's ago now i don't give a fuck if they reply good and well, if not so be it nothing ventured nothing gained

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I am fond of making the first move... but it tends to be spontaneous nights we decide to bring someone in for a play. I absolutely love love when lads suggest coffee it really doesn't happen that often !

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By * la carteCouple
47 weeks ago

Dublin

My initiating message ended up in this profile

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By *uteirishaWoman
47 weeks ago

ghost town

I wasn't long single..I had moved to the west...I was enjoying going out..having a few drinks..meeting people..flirting...

I had been chatting with a guy for most of the night...we clicked well... I wrote my address down ( I know...it was 15 years ago)..as I handed the piece of paper to him.

I said, ' I'll be there in 15 minutes....make sure you are there in 20'. He arrived right on time. We barely made it to the living room, clothes were falling in the hall....

A great memory for me taking the initiative.

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By *each_PittWoman
47 weeks ago

Belfast

I did it the week before Christmas. Had a wee chat and met up for a cheeky social. I'd love more but unfortunately it's not going to work out but it won't put me off reaching out again

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By *electableicecreamMan
47 weeks ago

The West

I think most of my life I've been so oblivious that people might be attracted to me that a lot of my partner's made the first move. Some out of exasperation lol

I still like to take things relatively slowly and I really do enjoy a woman with the confidence to say what's on her mind

I was at a social this year and never made it to my room because a woman I'd been chatting simply told me 'You're coming with me'.

On fab I send very very few opening messages for obvious reasons so unless someone messages me there's a good chance we won't chat unless it's at a social event. Which I do attend

That's a long way of saying:

Get in touch. I'm cute and have a great smile

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By *og-ManMan
47 weeks ago

somewhere

"My initiating message ended up in this profile

So you went early bird rather than A la carte

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By *ensualnFunCouple
47 weeks ago

Midlands

I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.

So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!

I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol

Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!

My shyness has much improved as a result.

Mrs

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By *dfabMan
47 weeks ago

Dunboyne

Fair play to you women that made the first move. Great to see we've moved on from the stereotypical guy has to show interest first scenario

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By *astelloWoman
47 weeks ago

Far far away

Ahem....

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By *dfabMan
47 weeks ago

Dunboyne

"Ahem.... "

What's the Ahem for?

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By *dfabMan
47 weeks ago

Dunboyne

"Ahem.... "

No, I've checked.

You've never winked/mailed me and I'm outside your age range, so must be something else further up the Ahem was for? Or the fact I'm married perhaps, as clearly stated in profile?

Ho hum, merrily on my way

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Yeah, why not? I like it when you woman makes the first move. But most times it’s me

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By *ofusplusCouple
47 weeks ago

Limerick

I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:

1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.

2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.

3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.

We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!

Mrs

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By *ofusplusCouple
47 weeks ago

Limerick

"I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.

So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!

I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol

Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!

My shyness has much improved as a result.

Mrs "

Well good for you C. I'm getting a bit better too xx

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By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
47 weeks ago

in the waves

I regularly message men first here, I know what I like.

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By *andytownMan
47 weeks ago

Gods Own Country

"Inspired by the lounge

Please post if you’re a woman who has made the first move here or outside fab and perhaps give us as much detail as you feel comfortable with "

Aye but did they use their indicators first

#ducks

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By *andytownMan
47 weeks ago

Gods Own Country

"I regularly message men first here, I know what I like.

Pineapples

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By *ensualnFunCouple
47 weeks ago

Midlands

"I got fed up hearing… I didn’t think you were interested! I prefer a NO than a missed opportunity.

So I have made the first move a lot this year as a way to get out of my shell and fight my shyness with regards to chatting men up!

I’m a great party organiser and good at getting people together but crap at 1:1 flirting and closing the deal for myself lol

Anyway, rejection is not easy but making the first move is great to develop a thick skin and a couldn’t care less attitude… nothing ventured nothing gained!

My shyness has much improved as a result.

Mrs

Well good for you C. I'm getting a bit better too xx"

Unfortunately I’ve had way more rejection than success

but maybe I have the wrong approach

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By *ensualnFunCouple
47 weeks ago

Midlands

"I absolutely would ... but only if I'm getting fairly obvious vibes of interest on their side. Most guys are pretty easy to read but i'd never make the move on these guys, even if I was initially attracted:

1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.

2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.

3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.

We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!

Mrs

I like it…

I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong

I might make your approach mine

I’ll let you know how I get on

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By *omcatzsMan
47 weeks ago

Dublin /Cavan

Well it seems there is hope on this site.

Can be hard work trying to get in touch with people here....

Here's hoping that some woman or couple will get in touch with me....

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By *leasurer77Man
47 weeks ago

Athlone

"I volunteer in a hospice shop. Cute guy there so I took the liberty of giving him my card (!) with my number on it asking him to take me for a drink. He messaged lots that night and we met in a car park to discuss and make plans. I was very excited but sadly nothing, absolutely nothing has happened other than continuous flirtation and promises ever since. Maybe for the best. Too close a situation. "

Most certainly his loss

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By *unfree2015Man
47 weeks ago

omagh

Always found a married work colleague attractive but obv never did anything about it - work married to many complicated - or so I thought - one summers evening walked to my car after work - stuck under the drivers door her business card , with ring me at 7pm - I did, we txt a bit, then she asked me to join her on a walk! Intrigued, I joined her, we have been lovers for past 4 yrs !!

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By *rPT123Man
47 weeks ago

Dublin

Wonder how many women will make the first move on me

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By *ub23Man
47 weeks ago

wandering

Just to change things up and I know every profile is different but what would your first flirty message be ladies?;)

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By *mazingTimesMan
47 weeks ago

Dublin

Fair play - great attitude

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By * la carteCouple
47 weeks ago

Dublin

"Just to change things up and I know every profile is different but what would your first flirty message be ladies?;)"

FAF?

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By *asual777 OP Man
47 weeks ago

i travel all over

I ve started threads about less important things tbf

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By *dfabMan
47 weeks ago

Dunboyne

Just a tip for the ladies making the first move.

Don't be subtle!

Us lads can be thick as shit sometimes and won't recognise a "hint".

Things above like the card in the car window are the direct approach we understand

You leaving your knickers in our office drawer just makes us think you fucked on our desk, not you want to specifically fuck us.

Only clarifying for those hinters who wonder why we never reacted to your message, which didn't clearly state you'd be interested in meeting for more than coffee, though that's the reason for coffee.

I know folks!

My drawer in work tomorrow is going to look like an Anne Sommers grab bag

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By *yesgreenMan
47 weeks ago

north and south

"Just a tip for the ladies making the first move.

Don't be subtle!

Us lads can be thick as shit sometimes and won't recognise a "hint".

Things above like the card in the car window are the direct approach we understand

You leaving your knickers in our office drawer just makes us think you fucked on our desk, not you want to specifically fuck us.

Only clarifying for those hinters who wonder why we never reacted to your message, which didn't clearly state you'd be interested in meeting for more than coffee, though that's the reason for coffee.

I know folks!

My drawer in work tomorrow is going to look like an Anne Sommers grab bag

"
Alpha Males Alpha female’s Alpha people our out in 2024

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By *dfabMan
47 weeks ago

Dunboyne

Not sure what that's supposed to mean dude?

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By *erry cMan
47 weeks ago

Longford westmeath

Still in if any couples or ladies want to say hi

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By *ickin2Man
47 weeks ago

Kilkenny

I think that it's brilliant that they're are Ladies on here who are willing and who have the confidence to make the first movie.

Well done Ladies

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By *uteirishaWoman
47 weeks ago

ghost town

1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.

2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.

3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.

We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!

Mrs

I like it…

I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong

I might make your approach mine

I’ll let you know how I get on

Yep!! Thats good!! I've made the initial move many times...rejection is a huge part...

It's a vicious circle...wanting to be everyone's cup of tea...knowing not everyone will be yours...

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By *ensualnFunCouple
47 weeks ago

Midlands

1. The cool, difficult to read Alphas. I'm probably not interested anyway.

2. The guys who are interested but are also flirting with half the room. I leave them to their scattergun approach.

3. Those very obviously interested in someone else. I have no desire to compete for their attentions and quickly lose interest.

We usually have good reasons for not making the first move!

Mrs

I like it…

I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong

I might make your approach mine

I’ll let you know how I get on

Yep!! Thats good!! I've made the initial move many times...rejection is a huge part...

It's a vicious circle...wanting to be everyone's cup of tea...knowing not everyone will be yours..."

I’ll be happy with being just 2 or 3 men’s cup of tea… I don’t need quantity

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Dm me please lol

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By *unsigntwoCouple
46 weeks ago

athlone

Such a shy person if I don't know you I wouldn't make the first move at a party or social maybe for 2024 I will take that jump and do it

mrssun

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By *208numeWoman
46 weeks ago

Navan

I am not afraid to make the first move.

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By *ysteryforareasonWoman
46 weeks ago

Tyrone

I'm quite comfortable making the first move but it's also nice to have the move made on you first. I was asked out on a date in person the other day, in daylight at a car garage. I was so stunned I didn't quite know what to say as he handed me his phone number, not his snap chat or Kik, an actual number and a cheeky smile as he said 'I saw you on a dating app, you're much hotter than your pics, can I take you for a drink on Wednesday, text me'. I honestly had the biggest smile for ages after and have ever since we've been texting. So men, shoot your shot in real life too, you'll have brownie points before you're even out the gap!

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By *eardedvillainMan
46 weeks ago

Bangor N.Ireland

I don't think I have had a first message from a woman on this lol.Its funny as I had a similar conversation yesterday with an ex who turns out is now on here,and she didn't understand why my inbox is as empty as the Sahara.

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By *otfun100Man
46 weeks ago

coleraine

[Removed by poster at 07/01/24 16:26:34]

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By *otfun100Man
46 weeks ago

coleraine

Only ever had one girl message me first

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By *llthewaysMan
46 weeks ago

City centre/Naas

The important part of this thread has fallen by the wayside, we never found out how the date went!

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By *rgentleman78Man
46 weeks ago

City

I have not got a woman making the first move here

I not a fan of it honestly there always thought in my head that make me think “oh you not chance why try, she won't say won't reply to you" I put way way to much pressure on my self to make it interesting or smart or funny ha

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By *eroLondonMan
40 weeks ago

Covent Garden

Åll hail those veritable vixens and lascivious lasses who make the f¹rst move upon us unsuspecting gentlemen. May their desire to send the f|rst message never waver or falter.

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By *mmmm300Woman
39 weeks ago

cork

I have made the 1st move on a few occasions with guys here, with some pleasure to follow. Did the same with 1 or 2 of the ladies but with little success, we are a tough audience. Lol

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By *exyScientistsCouple
39 weeks ago

Castlebar

I have often winked or messaged a guy first on fab...I'd certainly find it easier here than in "real life". On fab it's easy to find a comment on a thread or something in a photo or profile to comment on. Especially threads like this....

Only thing that puts me off is when they are too far away

Mrs S

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
39 weeks ago

Magical Forrest

I have winked and messaged men first before on here. Surely there shouldn’t be a stigma wait till the man messages first, even in “real life”.

Only that in real life they chicken out after a while and ghost you

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By *nnasSecretsWoman
39 weeks ago

Kildare/Laois

I've never been shy in making the first move, be it here on fab or outside fab. If I see something I like, I get my hands on, simple as

Happy Sunday, all! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

Woman have made the first move here usually by sending a wink, not often but a few times. In the real world I have not had a woman make the first move. The only caveat is I can be a bit clueless and have confused someone as being friendly when in fact they were flirting. I reckon it should be a class in school how to tell the difference between friendliness and flirtation

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By *onderingpurposeMan
39 weeks ago

Belfast

I once got a message I was not expecting.

Turned out to be Fab telling me my subscription was up

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

I’ve never had an issue making the first move if I notice someone on Fab that I would like a “play date” with. What’s the worst that can happen? Milly x

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
39 weeks ago

City Centre

I'm on the fence here. Im not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit.

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By *eroLondonMan
39 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure if men genuinely like a woman to make the first move. Anyone I've reached out to on fab, the conversation goes drier than a breadstick quickly. I end up feeling all predatory n shit.

•

I'm not so sure...

Aside from reciprocal messages between Fab friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 2½ years. All of my socials, interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending the first message.

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
39 weeks ago

City Centre

•

I'm not so sure...

That's great that you're having that kind of success. I'm not so sure if it's the norm on fab though. Do you think you're in the minority? Love to hear from other men that are taking a back seat approach and enjoying being chased with great end results.

Maybe I'll have to fine tune and work harder on my communication skills.

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By *voidingboredomMan
39 weeks ago

around

I can confirm 1 first message in two years from a woman, and that was to compliment a pic, not looking to hook up or anything. One or two from couples. That's it. Everything else I've initiated.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

I've made the first move before and it definitely paid off.

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By *ot so needyMan
39 weeks ago

Galway

"I've made the first move before and it definitely paid off.

Of course it did.....

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By *electableicecreamMan
39 weeks ago

The West

•

I'm not so sure...

Maybe I'll have to fine tune and work harder on my communication skills. "

I send very few messages out and tend towards the If you build it they will come approach. A lot of the time I'll make connections through the forum and these days it's more likely to be a social event.

I get a few messages every now and then and I think people do feel comfortable to get in touch and that has been nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

"I've made the first move before and it definitely paid off.

Of course it did....."

Ive also been left on read and thats ok too, it's not that deep.

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
39 weeks ago

Portstewart

"I've made the first move before and it definitely paid off.

Of course it did.....

Ive also been left on read and thats ok too, it's not that deep. "

Why would anyone leave you on read there mistake and loss, a very silly person in our view

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By *aradiselost747Couple
39 weeks ago

dundonald

I make the first move with single guys plenty as when I’m looking a Hotwife date it’s always last minute and looking some cock that day. Often find however this upsets the power balance and has men intimidated that don’t show up.

Girls like unplanned sex too you know lol

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By *ubadubdubWoman
39 weeks ago

Hereabouts

•

I'm not so sure...

Forum-dwellers haha

Are we like the barflies of the site,

Chatting away with whoever's around lol?!!

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By *uriouscurves999Woman
39 weeks ago

Kildare

I bet a man a vodka and orange 20+ years ago that I'd snog him now fancied him for a long time...I almost married him. That stopped me making first moves.....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 25/02/24 13:35:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

"Why would anyone leave you on read there mistake and loss, a very silly person in our view"

Aww thank you! Sure we all have different types both here and off fab, so I wouldnt be upset or offended if someone wasn't interested in me.

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By *ndqtMan
39 weeks ago

The Wild West

Like some have already said, its wonderful when a woman makes the initial contact.

I go along with the view that most women on here are flooded with all sorts of weird and wonderful messages.

So lately I'm of the oponion that if I catch someones eye, then they will let me know with a wink or a first message. Which is great when it happens... albeit very infrequently...

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By *amesnplanesMan
39 weeks ago

Banbridge and Dublin

I've spent the last five years in the Nordics and here, it's perfectly normal for the ladies to take the first steps.

Actually it's really lovely to get nice messages from new matches.

Glad that folks feel it's fun to simply take the initiative

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By *ACOLCouple
39 weeks ago

limerick

Personally I prefer making the first move on FAB but at events I get so shy, and hubby generally flourishes like the social butterfly that he is.

Maybe I am just a keyboard warrior.

Lina.

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