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By *asual777 OP   Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Borrowed from the lounge . I have had some scotch and I don’t have the brain cells to create my own original thread.

Anyone who comments on the thread is automatically staff. Even if you say you're out, you're staff.

Write an 'email' to a 'colleague' on the thread that is work orientated but has a naughty meaning and is full of euphemisms. Please use people's job titles or department when emailing as well as your own. Don't forget to address your email with 'Dear whoever/dept' and sign it off with the usual 'kind regards dept/who you are'.

I'm the CEO on this occasion. Though I may delegate replies to my secretary, be warned!

It's the first day back after Christmas and the office is a mess after the Christmas party, we are selling lingerie and sex toys as a new fab line and need to prep for new year's launch of new items. You decide what they are and how we launch them.

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By *aughty MilfCouple
over a year ago

Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland

Lol

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

Dear Naughty Milf,

I hope this email finds you well and you had a great holiday period. While we appreciated the thorough diligent efforts you and the rest of the vibrant department have made with testing the vibrators, we have just been made aware of the extortionate battery budget you’d have been racking up.

Also, there seems to be hygiene issues when testing the fleshlights. Could you please remind your staff to clean down the apparatus after use. I do not want to receive an other email title “unwittingly Stirring Another Man’s Porridge!” We, as I’m you do too, hate to see standards slipping in and out.

Please address these issues as soon as possible and moving forward try keep the great buzz coming from your department going, within reason, in regards to the new line for the new year.

Kindest regards,

The Complaints Department

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

I’m not sure I hit the brief of the op, but someone had to start

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By *asual777 OP   Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"Dear Naughty Milf,

I hope this email finds you well and you had a great holiday period. While we appreciated the thorough diligent efforts you and the rest of the vibrant department have made with testing the vibrators, we have just been made aware of the extortionate battery budget you’d have been racking up.

Also, there seems to be hygiene issues when testing the fleshlights. Could you please remind your staff to clean down the apparatus after use. I do not want to receive an other email title “unwittingly Stirring Another Man’s Porridge!” We, as I’m you do too, hate to see standards slipping in and out.

Please address these issues as soon as possible and moving forward try keep the great buzz coming from your department going, within reason, in regards to the new line for the new year.

Kindest regards,

The Complaints Department"

Excellent start . The buzzing noise _aughty milf makes can be loud

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

Dear Mr.Rios, Complaints department

I am hereby putting you on paid leave whilst you are under investigation for overstepping work etiquette with a female work colleague.

I got an anonymous complaint.

I was briefed that after you didn't receive a reply to a recent email you've send to a colleague in the toy testing department, you took matters in your own hands and went to this department. There you started shamelessly flirting with said female colleague and you both disappeared into the cleaning cupboard for a mere 15 minutes. Your entrance and exit both caught on cctv.

I now must investigate this matter thoroughly and in person.

I would like you to meet me tomorrow at 7pm, after the factory closes, in the toy testing department.

I will give you the chance to show me your side of the story. I won't keep you long, around 15 minutes will suffice.

Regards,

Miss Lolly Pop, Human resources

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

To: HR

Subject: Re: Recent Complaints

Dear Lollypop9, HR

We hope this email finds you well and you had a great holiday period. While we do agree that we may have overstepped some boundaries, some things needed to be said in person. We hope you understand this. We think that your estimation of 15 minutes is grossly miscalculated, we accept that peoples perception of ecstasy is misjudged. As we are writing this email collectively (I a m man aging t he spac e ba r) we feel that paid leave is unfair in the case specifically.

I am happy to meet you on-site but it would need clearance for the CEO. I am a rule taker rather than a rule breaker, such is my job.

Since I am on paid leave I am happy to talk about this behind the bikes sheds though. If you think it were possible to meet on-site , I would be happy to slip in and out repeatably without anyone noticing but that is at the HR departments and CEO’s digression.

I wish you are happy with the options I’ve provided. I look forward to your reply. Moving forward, I would obviously you to like to provide a a safe warm working environment which I am sure you will get the greatest pleasure from.

Kindest regards,

MrRios (complaints team)

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

This sounds fun

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By *aughty MilfCouple
over a year ago

Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland

Sounds about right haha

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

To : Complaints team

Re: recent Complaints

Dear Mr.Rios,

I've read your response carefully and have considered your offer.

I'd like to accept but now must insist for our CEO, Mr.Casual, to be present at this meeting. He's also an expert at slipping in and out effortlessly and as I am a big supporter of team work, I would favour this option.

To your request to extend the duration of this meeting, I will agree, but of course you would have to rigorously prove to me that this was worth my while, as time is precious and in my role in HR I work under many men and women, who need my undevided attention too.

I shall await you and Mr.Casual at 7pm this evening, behind the bike shed.

I apologise in advance for my attire, as its way past my shift ending, I will be already in some lighter clothing, I sincerely hope you won't mind.

Regards,

Miss Lolly Pop

HR Department

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

To: HR

CC: Casual777

Subject: Re: Recent Complaints

Dear Lollypop9, HR

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove my worth to the company. As with all big decisions, it is only correct that the CEO is there to oversee any action.

While I may not come to you rigorous duration needs, I must assure you that I am willing to put in more than one shift to get the job done even if it brings me to my knees. At the end of the day, I just want everybody satisfied with the outcum.

It has been a pleasure working under you both so far, but if we decide that my future is not with this company at least we can have a happy ending. But I earnestly hope this is not the case.

In regards to your casual attire, cum as you please. I await with pleasure.

Kindest regards,

MrRios

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By *asual777 OP   Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Dear Mr.Rios, Complaints department

Cc: _ollypop9

Sounds like an urgent meeting is required. It is essential given the nature of the meeting that everyone present is professional and appropriately attired. If you would like to bring representatives , supporters or emotional support friends this can be discussed and agreed . It could be a long meeting .

Yours sincerely

Casual 777, CEO

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

To : Complaints team

Re.: conclusion of investigation

Cc: _asual777

Dear Mr.Rios

I'm very happy to inform you that you have been reinstated.

There is a condition attached to this.

You must part take in a course of work etiquette at least twice per week for the next three months. I, myself will oversee this course, which will take place after work hours in the bdsm accessories departments meeting room.

It shall be an intense, but enjoyable experience for all.

On the odd occasion we will need the CEO Mr.Casual777 to attend and also others might be requested to join us, for example Miss Naughty.

I hope this will enable an improved work environment for all involved.

Regards

Miss Lolly Pop

HR Department

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