FabSwingers.com forum: Advice after a bad first meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys, looking for a bit of advice from those more experienced with swinging and this site.

Had my first meet tonight with a lovely gorgeous girl. Very improtu with little build up but was excited to give my first meet a go on this site as I’ve found they’re difficult to come by for a single guy with no verifications.

However, the meet did not go well. Couldn’t get into the meet at all, lack of chemistry and the situation was quite restrictive (Hotwife). Gutted because I’ve been dying to dip my toes into meeting on fab.

Wondering if anyone has any advice for bouncing back after a bad meet ? Would love to hear from you guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't let it get you down brother, happens sometimes.

Even when you can be messaging back and forth where things seem fun and steamy but then in person there's just nothing there.

Could be nerves by the other person or maybe they're just a bit of an introvert where you need to work extra hard to get em out of their shell. Could even be they're just cold :-s......or maybe you yourself are off your game in any case....just keep trying, even take a break if needs be

No rush, hit the gym...(like you need to! Haha).....or do anything to relax and or soemthing that's fun to take your mind off it and last but not least, give yourself some love

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't let it get you down brother, happens sometimes.

Even when you can be messaging back and forth where things seem fun and steamy but then in person there's just nothing there.

No rush, hit the gym...(like you need to! Haha).....or do anything to relax and or soemthing that's fun to take your mind off it and last but not least, give yourself some love

Some very solid advice here thank you! Think I had built up the idea of my first fab meet being a mind blowing experience ! And then for it to not end well has me a bit gutted. Gonna try keep the chin up and find someone I’m a bit more compatible with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one "

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Meet people socially for a drink or a coffee first before even attempting to plan any sexual activities.

That way you'll get a chance to build chemistry and avoid major disappointments.

It's astounding how many people think that you will just meet some random person online, jump into bed with them and the sex will be mind blowing. That stuff is for porn... real life is a lot more complicated.

Best of luck with your second meet (by meet I mean meeting someone in person generally)

Missus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Meet people socially for a drink or a coffee first before even attempting to plan any sexual activities.

That way you'll get a chance to build chemistry and avoid major disappointments.

Best of luck with your second meet (by meet I mean meeting someone in person generally)

Missus "

Never really had a problem in the past with jumping straight in but I think you’re dead right. Definitely could have done with meeting in person first to figure if there was gonna be chemistry ( and the list as long as my arm of boundaries)

You live and you learn I guess, will definitely be looking for a social next time ! Thanks for the advice

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

Social first. And kiss test!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Social first. And kiss test!"

Definitely needed for next time!

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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago

Cap d’Agde, France

Stop worrying about it!

It happens all the time, even with guys that are regular swingers.

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By *ythenMan
over a year ago

North Co. Dublin

"Meet people socially for a drink or a coffee first before even attempting to plan any sexual activities.

That way you'll get a chance to build chemistry and avoid major disappointments.

Best of luck with your second meet (by meet I mean meeting someone in person generally)

Missus "

Great advice and future pointers for you going forward from Hungry Cat …. If you take tbe common board I’d safely say things should improve in your future meets

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By *ythenMan
over a year ago

North Co. Dublin

Comments that should read

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

There and Here

It's not uncommon, especially when you've built it up in your head. Not everyone is compatible between the sheets, and not every encounter will blow your mind. I find that, when there's a mutual fulfilling of desires, it's a much more satisfying experience all round so don't be afraid to hold out for the encounters that have the potential to curl your toes also

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By *hilaboutMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

Think op is looking for somebody to provide a meet outta sympathy.

I could be wrong

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Think op is looking for somebody to provide a meet outta sympathy.

I could be wrong"

I think he's being genuine. Would you think the same if the post was written by a woman? Mrs.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

There and Here

"Think op is looking for somebody to provide a meet outta sympathy.

I could be wrong"

I didn't get that vibe from it at all, and I doubt if a woman had created the thread that it would have drawn the same comment

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By *ursecretmischiefCouple
over a year ago

The West

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet "

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?"

Genuinely not....if you fall off the horse so to speak you need to get back on as soon as possible

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By *ursecretmischiefCouple
over a year ago

The West

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?

Genuinely not....if you fall off the horse so to speak you need to get back on as soon as possible "

Agree, but you'll probably change your approach and method, so you don't fall off again!

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?

Genuinely not....if you fall off the horse so to speak you need to get back on as soon as possible

Agree, but you'll probably change your approach and method, so you don't fall off again!

This is where the site needs GIFs

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?

Genuinely not....if you fall off the horse so to speak you need to get back on as soon as possible

Agree, but you'll probably change your approach and method, so you don't fall off again!

This is where the site needs GILFs

Changed that there Bog plus here i am

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Try to get a second meet as soon as possible to get past the first bad one

Yeah honestly that’s the plan. Do find it easier to find people to meet elsewhere (tinder, out and about) but was really looking forward to a fab organised meet

I think Bog-man is taking the piss!?

Genuinely not....if you fall off the horse so to speak you need to get back on as soon as possible

Agree, but you'll probably change your approach and method, so you don't fall off again!

This is where the site needs GILFs

Changed that there Bog plus here i am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get back on the bike

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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

"Social first. And kiss test!"

Exactly this and why make a hotwife your first encounter. Couples can be hard to navigate as each couple has their own set of boundaries/rules.

Meeting for a social first you can definitely gauge in person if there is chemistry. If there is, it will definitely start the anticipation of things to come and lead to a more explosive second meet

If you get to a social event, it is a great way of meeting lots of people in person for potential future adventures

Best of luck OP.

B X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet for a coffee first just to see if there is chemistry and if there is them ye can organise the next meet. Ye could click while Messaging but face to face could be different.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Like others said that does happen at times and it's why I do a social first with someone so that there is no pressure on anyone. It is easy to walk away after if you're not feeling any chemistry.

Waiting for a meet where you are planning having sex to then discuss boundaries is too late really. Most should be clear beforehand for everyone's sake.

But it's fab and you live and learn on here. Hopefully meets you have in future will be better.

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By *itlbeeCouple
over a year ago

Swinging, as a concept, is primarily baaed around couples swapping and sharing. Boundaries and rules are all part of that.

There can be a disconnect between the singles and the couples.

Th singleton's looking for hookups who have never had a non-monogamous relationship, can find the dynamic a bit restrictive.

But it's part of the package. The fact they're swingers rather than just an open relationship implies they have their own specific dynamic, and boundaries will exist.

When playing with couples you will need to factor this into early discussions. People tend to have certain restrictions they agree to with their partner.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Great advise being given here I must say

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all! Thanks so much for all the fantastic advice ! Really is a lovely community here

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I would say message her with "That was a pretty lame meet especially around Christmas!!"

It just means that you're being honest and confirming exactly what she's thinking

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By *axlecool03Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Hi guys, looking for a bit of advice from those more experienced with swinging and this site.

Wondering if anyone has any advice for bouncing back after a bad meet ? Would love to hear from you guys

Whatever happens .. it happens for good … a bad social meet is much better than a bad sexual meet …just enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s happened to the best of us mate

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By *acob12369Man
over a year ago

URPANTS

Was the hotwife naughty hotwife playing away from home hotwife. If so she was probably nervous and worried about being caught out.

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

Chemistry is always important to establish and a social first in my opinion is critical...

Im sure she had same issues as you in summarising a bad meet but hey, move on, and take the excellent advice above. Kiss test is my absolute first point.

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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

You don't really know if you like a person till you meet them.

Have a coffee.

If you kiss, and feel it, great.

If not, then harm done.

Having said this, some couples just need a body they like and aren't particularly ready to spend time socialising first.

But for me the best has always come after a social.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

Congratulations, you've had your first meet.

It didn't go as hoped for, for both of you.

A good learning experience. It's not a failure, although I can understand your disappointment.

Was her husband there, and if so, did you engage with him? If you can't impress a husband at the coffee meet you'll never get a chance to impress his wife in bed.

It's always best to approach every meet with the possibility it might not go beyond coffee. Be gracious and write them a veri.

You might even get a veri out of this meet which might launch your fab career.

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By *hicotime123Man
over a year ago

dublin

Try the socials 1st there a great way of meeting new people

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By *ubadubdubWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

"Hi guys, looking for a bit of advice from those more experienced with swinging and this site.

Wondering if anyone has any advice for bouncing back after a bad meet ? Would love to hear from you guys

Oh sorry to hear that, it could've been great, all exciting and impulsive!! But it's a risk, and sadly disappointments are part of the Fab experience too.

Great advice from the others above and better luck next time

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

"Social first. And kiss test!"

Definitely agree with this.

If the kiss doesn't spark passion it's unlikely the sex will satisfy you.

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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

'Hotwife' can be a tough place to start for a single guy.

It wasn't long before I realised, she's not there to have a connection or turn me on!

I am just the plaything...to turn her & her bf or husband on. I am the object. To be used.

But....When you strip it all back it's a nice position tor a guy to be in: 'You want to use me?...Fuck!!!...fire away!'

It's up to me to get turned on by the experience.

Make it a win win...

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