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Sex, a pint and affordable housing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi

I've lived in Ireland for well over a decade. I'm not Irish but where I come from, women are

usually quite frank, open about sex and if we're interested in a guy, we make a move.

Over the course of my time in Ireland I've been flummoxed by the initial shyness of younger Irish guys in person. I also noticed that unfortunately because finding affordable housing in the capital is so difficult, I've noticed that the few Irish guys who accommodate have some sort of family arrangement or more commonly, guys still live with their parents well into their 30s.

I moved out of my house when I was 25, so I sympathise. But what I don't get is the "three-pint-minimum" in order for some young, nubile and attractive guy to accept my sexual advances.

In fact, I've attended many vanilla socials and munches (and quite a few events) and when I approach a guy, it's like I'm witnessing a deer in headlights. They simply don't know what to make of me.

A fellow lover of mine, an expat like me posited the "three-pint-minimum" theory.

In essence, it goes like this. Woman approaches guy at event or social, completely sober and tries to engage. Guy freaks out but is unwilling to commit but doesn't want to let go either so he invites you to pub.

Three pints in, guy starts to flirt.

I don't mind this usually but I really prefer connections over coffee or a nice meal with maybe a glass of wine.

Am I just weird or am I expecting too much?

I know it's a small country and people are afraid of being doxxed or outed on social media... but perhaps instead of relying on kik or Snapchat or WhatsApp is a bit banal for me and I like this site's functionality.

Thoughts anyone?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

[Removed by poster at 28/11/23 08:15:34]

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

But what I don't get is the "three-pint-minimum" in order for some young, nubile and attractive guy to accept my sexual advances.

Maybe because every bloke doesn't fancy you ....just because a woman thinks a man should want to have sex with her doesnt mean it will happen

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had women try and flirt with me at socials and events but I am not attracted to them and have nothing in common with them so am I expected to flirt back just because?

I've even had a couple of women get a third party to tell me to come to their table at a social because they liked me in the forums and wanted to meet me.

I didn't because they couldn't be arsed speaking to me themselves and were just holding court at their table and also because I don't like their forum personas and I've never wanted to meet them.

Suddenly I'm the bad guy as far as they are concerned.

Attraction works both ways and men are well within their rights to spurn any sexual advance.

3 pints in and maybe they are less fussy rather than more brave.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Yeah you probably could say the same about Irish women, most need a drink to become a bit more relaxed.

I think it has to do with the Catholic education that still influences the upbringing. There's still a prudishness/shyness when it comes to nudity and sex and of course there's the guilt. Some of it is still passed on to younger generations.

Then there's the thing that some men struggle with confident women, it confuses them.

Finally I think BM has a point there too, one should never assume that everyone you fancy also want to have sex with you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I didn't say that every guy I flirt with flirts back. Of course, everyone has their sexual preferences.

What mystifies me are the ones who've approached me online, played endless hours of messaging ping-pong, exchanged pics, met at events and yet when bluntly asked for a tete-a-tete, they go all gooey and girly, like children.

And as said, I'm not the only expat to have noticed this. But when drink is involved, it's as if the shyness, the furtive behaviour, the stand-offishness is suddenly replaced by a very flirty, very interested party, and unfortunately because of all that alcohol consumed, they invariably disappoint in the sack.

Just my observations as a former resident, that's all.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Op It's definitely a problem with regards to single people here with housing alright

My grown up adult children still all live at home and yet at my eldests age I was married with a young baby....him.

It'll be well into their 30's before they ever move out thanks to a dysfunctional housing market

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By *llthewaysMan
over a year ago

Dublin/Sallins

Affordable housing in Ireland usually means moving further and further out to the country, which suits many people.

As for needing a drink to talk to people, I don't get that personally. I tend not to drink at socials anyway. Plenty of times I have approached people and been rebuffed, best not to take it to heart.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

North Cork

Go for older more experienced guys who dont need alcohol as a crutch to enable them to flirt.

Problem solved.

Please form an orderly queue.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Go for older more experienced guys who dont need alcohol as a crutch to enable them to flirt.

Problem solved.

Please form an elderly queue.

"

Fixed that

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...


"Go for older more experienced guys who dont need alcohol as a crutch to enable them to flirt.

Problem solved.

Please form an elderly queue.

Fixed that "

That made me LOL Elderly Queue

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go for older more experienced guys who dont need alcohol as a crutch to enable them to flirt.

Problem solved.

Please form an elderly queue.

Fixed that

That made me LOL Elderly Queue "

Good point...

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By *llthewaysMan
over a year ago

Dublin/Sallins

Does an elderly queue need more chairs?

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Thread title would make a good political slogan, bit like an Irish version of the Roman 'bread and circuses'.

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By *otownkid1967Man
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Here's another who would join the Elderly queue. I'll leave my beer goggles at home as well OP

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