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"It's very easy to be anonymous in the uk. I regularly run into people I know at events here. So that makes people nervous. " that's why I'd be nervous going to one as I work in retail And meet so many people in Limerick I'm bound to know some people at it | |||
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"I have a question about this. Is there any Club that open daily or more often? Went yesterday to Glamworld, but it's a shithole. Just want to know if there is something where I can go without invitation or buying tickets first..." No... And thank god there isn't. I wouldn't want to go to a club that would let any gobshite off the street in with no idea how to behave. Having said that I would love to see clubs that are open weekly* but I suspect Ireland is too small to support that | |||
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"The few clubs which exist, especially the swing clubs, are illegal. The ones that aren't don't allow genital contact or nudity. There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events"." Not an expert but I believe private members clubs can operate legally in Ireland. I wouldn't say organisers are greedy. I'd say that events need to be financially viable to be able to improve standards and maintain operation. They aren't overpriced compared to UK clubs. I've been to clubs in the UK and Europe and they are pretty much universally seedy 
I've also witnessed behaviour that I thought an organiser should shop , including touching without consent. This has to be taken seriously and must stop. | |||
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"It's very easy to be anonymous in the uk. I regularly run into people I know at events here. So that makes people nervous. that's why I'd be nervous going to one as I work in retail And meet so many people in Limerick I'm bound to know some people at it " That is what I thought, but never had issues Misses | |||
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"The few clubs which exist, especially the swing clubs, are illegal. The ones that aren't don't allow genital contact or nudity. There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events"." On the ball there needs to be more control and reassurance for women. There are certain clubs in Ireland I wouldn’t set a foot in due to these reasons. | |||
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"...Just want to know if there is something where I can go without invitation or buying tickets first..." Who would go to an adult club where there's no regulation on admission? 
__________
"...There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events"." We've only been to a handful of socials and play events, and broadly speaking we've never been subject to anything we'd call unsafe. A few persistent single males, but both myself and Mrs wouldn't be shy to make a spectacle of unwelcome attention. We only go as a couple, so maybe it's unlikely that Mrs would get hassle. __________ "...I've also witnessed behaviour that I thought an organiser should shop , including touching without consent. This has to be taken seriously and must stop." The only behaviour I've seen at an even where I could say the organiser should have stopped was a single male standing alone against a wall with his phone clearly in his hand. The club specifically says no phones out. I thought this guy took a pic of Mrs's cleavage as we walked past him to the bar. Phones should be in pockets. A pic of them at an adult club could have devastating effect on someone's life. Not sure if organisers saw him or how strict they are about no phones, but everyone attending should know why this rule needs compliance. | |||
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"...There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events". We've only been to a handful of socials and play events, and broadly speaking we've never been subject to anything we'd call unsafe. A few persistent single males, but both myself and Mrs wouldn't be shy to make a spectacle of unwelcome attention. We only go as a couple, so maybe it's unlikely that Mrs would get hassle. __________ ...I've also witnessed behaviour that I thought an organiser should shop , including touching without consent. This has to be taken seriously and must stop. The only behaviour I've seen at an even where I could say the organiser should have stopped was a single male standing alone against a wall with his phone clearly in his hand. The club specifically says no phones out. I thought this guy took a pic of Mrs's cleavage as we walked past him to the bar. Phones should be in pockets. A pic of them at an adult club could have devastating effect on someone's life. Not sure if organisers saw him or how strict they are about no phones, but everyone attending should know why this rule needs compliance. " I've been to a famous swing club in Ireland a few years back. When the owners relocated to Dublin City Limits, the clientèle and security took a serious downturn. The last time I attended, as part of a playing couple, I noticed a few white vans parked outside the club. There was local knowledge about this place and we witnessed guys trying to entice d*unken younger women coming out of the club in question as they teeters d*unkenly away. This is a serious breach of women's safety buy I'd recently heard that the same owners don't enforce security within the club itself and it's pretty much each to their own. There's no protocol and during one of our visits, a male member kept trying to barge into other playrooms, trying to force himself on couples who were playing. We were one of those couples. That was the last straw for me. I've since refused to go back and I'd been attending there at least a dozen times. | |||
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"Never heard of this but I don't think you can blame club organisers for shitty behaviour of men who are not on the premises." What about the ones inside the premises? The creepy lurkers barging into private playrooms because their girlfriend is getting gangbanged in other room and the guy in question is feeling like a spare prick? Like I said. That was our last visit. | |||
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"Never heard of this but I don't think you can blame club organisers for shitty behaviour of men who are not on the premises. What about the ones inside the premises? The creepy lurkers barging into private playrooms because their girlfriend is getting gangbanged in other room and the guy in question is feeling like a spare prick? Like I said. That was our last visit." Did you report this to the organisers? What did they do? | |||
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"Recently saw a kerfuffle at ba party one woman touched another without checking and she REALLY didn't like it. They had to leave after that. There's kind of an assumption men have to ask, but women can initiate? But some women thinks that means everyone. Some women are very lax about girl on girl touching, but others aren't. But I have also seen men complicit in this assumption, Short of pushing their girlfriend into a another couple who are playing in hopes they can use her as an "in" instead of just asking. " That's definitely something organisers need to make clear to all attendees. Consent can be verbal or nonverbal, but assuming consent to touch just because they are the same sex is a consent violation. An organiser can't sort out these issues if they aren't made aware, but once made aware they have a responsibility to take action. | |||
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"I have a question about this. Is there any Club that open daily or more often? Went yesterday to Glamworld, but it's a shithole. Just want to know if there is something where I can go without invitation or buying tickets first... No... And thank god there isn't. I wouldn't want to go to a club that would let any gobshite off the street in with no idea how to behave. Having said that I would love to see clubs that are open weekly* but I suspect Ireland is too small to support that " I've been in France, Spain, UK and Germany, and there are a lot of this kind of clubs. Of course nobody can go without paying first. But this way that parties are done here in Ireland is the way they do Private parties anywhere else... Not the usual. Just saying that it will be great to have some kind of clubs where at least you can meet liberal peeople. Just to have some drinks and socialize (without sex, without any obligation). Same thing you could find in a regular Swinger club at any other country. But it's ok. Now I understand why so many people are lost when came here... Regards | |||
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"I have a question about this. Is there any Club that open daily or more often? Went yesterday to Glamworld, but it's a shithole. Just want to know if there is something where I can go without invitation or buying tickets first... No... And thank god there isn't. I wouldn't want to go to a club that would let any gobshite off the street in with no idea how to behave. Having said that I would love to see clubs that are open weekly* but I suspect Ireland is too small to support that I've been in France, Spain, UK and Germany, and there are a lot of this kind of clubs. Of course nobody can go without paying first. But this way that parties are done here in Ireland is the way they do Private parties anywhere else... Not the usual. Just saying that it will be great to have some kind of clubs where at least you can meet liberal peeople. Just to have some drinks and socialize (without sex, without any obligation). Same thing you could find in a regular Swinger club at any other country. But it's ok. Now I understand why so many people are lost when came here... Regards" There are lots of ‘social only’ events in Ireland. I’ve been to ones that have a permanent venue and ones that don’t both North and South. Something I have learnt is people definitely need to become more vocal if they see things they aren’t happy with. I make a point of giving a list of names before I attend a new club/ event. If those people are on the guest list I won’t attend because I have had serious issues or witnessed serious issues with them previously. The admin / organisers don’t want their venues to get a bad rep so again my experience has always been that if these things are voiced ahead or at least after then they prevent problems at future events. It’s really difficult for organisers to police everyone so as paying members we do have a certain responsibility ourselves to speak up and keep places safe for newer members who may not have gained the confidence to do that yet. Ireland is such a small country with such a small swinging community I strongly believe we all have a responsibility to keep the lifestyle safe for everyone. Personally I have seen great improvements in the last 12 months. That probably equates with my own confidence and getting to know more people so more people to call on and speak to if there’s an issue. While there aren’t any clubs as such that open daily to my knowledge there are definitely day parties in day use hotels. I have seen them advertised regularly. Perhaps they could be a starting point for something new down the line? With a small population though it’s always going to be challenging. There’s no way that the swinging scene here can be compared fairly with the likes of England. | |||
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"I think this thread talks about two types of spots. To me, a swingers club is basically a permanent play party. it was play areas, and a bar. People go there to play. I've been to one in barcelona. The US has many. You have to pay a lot to enter, usually signing up to some sort of membership. Showing ID and giving contact info. No phones is also a huge policy to allow any kind of sexual activity happen. I had to check my phone in with staff at clubs. There are other venues "for swingers" DV8 Bar in Dublin seems to be run by swingers, as they advertise events here often but what I have seen is social-only. They still need to get by as a regular bar the rest of the time I think there was also a social-only "Swingers Bar" in Amsterdam, I was considering going, but it still had to have a strict door policy, and cover charges to enter. Any venue is going to be stuck for revenue. There are plenty of people who would cruise it, but - going by the Fab numbers - Too many of them are single men. and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go. On top of that it's unlikely any such venue would get much traffic weekday nights, and so they would be stuck paying rent full time, trying to recoup most of it from the weekend alone. I would LOVE to have a regular club to go to, It would save me and my swinging pals hosting each other, and we could all meet up and mingle at a club. When I was at Opps in Barcelona I loved that it had a whole locker area, changing rooms, hot showers, fresh towels and, even a heated pool. By contrast cramped house parties can have you squeezed into a hallway for the bathroom and digging through piles of coats to find your condoms. " Or through piles of condoms to find your coat | |||
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"The few clubs which exist, especially the swing clubs, are illegal. The ones that aren't don't allow genital contact or nudity. There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events"." Hilarious | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go..." For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope. | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope." You say the words single man like it's some kind of affliction. Are we really not allowed to talk to people we're not going to fuck? Are there other swinger rules for single guys? I've only been to a few clubs and parties and interestingly the feedback that I hear most is that there isn't enough single guys actually turning up. | |||
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"The few clubs which exist, especially the swing clubs, are illegal. The ones that aren't don't allow genital contact or nudity. There needs to be a shift in public policy about adult clubs and ensuring women's safety. I've witnessed far too much lapses in security, club organisers greed and the general seediness of some of the more popular Dublin area "swing events". Hilarious " That response says it all, really, doesn't it? 
Oh well...
Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana | |||
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"You say the words single man like it's some kind of affliction." Yep - sorry. It does sound like that. But that's not what I meant. __________ "Are we really not allowed to talk to people we're not going to fuck?" Of course not. But would you be able to pick up on the vibe from a couple who weren't interested? And is it you who decides who you're going to fuck? __________ "Are there other swinger rules for single guys? I've only been to a few clubs and parties and interestingly the feedback that I hear most is that there isn't enough single guys actually turning up." ___________ Not sure I buy that... swinging is broadly defined or described as couples swapping & sharing, no? A room loaded with single guys isn't a good deal for a guy who's arrived to the party with his female partner? | |||
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" If you'll permit a little thought experiment, I've reversed the genders in your post. So for us, single females at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single women at a swinger event (expecting action with a man from a couple) seems to me (Mrs) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single female is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single men looking for single women. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single women in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single women. Should it be that instead of single women risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single women), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single women, we're open to the possibility of Mr having a snog or respectful grope with a woman who appeals to P, but only on his/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker women (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all women, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. I think if any man wrote this he'd be absolutely shredded. At the end of the day I think we just have a different conception of what we want to get out of the lifestyle. " That's actually really well thought out. Single women who attend events (and I broaden the definition of "single" as meaning "unattended") go with certain expectations and apprehensions. I don't believe that single women fare any worse than single men attending an illegal underground event, except in one respect. They are likely to be a more vulnerable target. Of course, this largely depends on the venue, the type of event and the protocols and parameters of said event. There are predatory females too. I've been to clubs and events in France, Belgium, Austria, Germany and most recently in Luxembourg. The last one really blew me away at how well organised it was, the beauty of the venue, the fact that it had a very mixed crowd, the menu (because gods forbid a kinky swinging Luxo NOT to have a full supper with bottle of Crémant and a few cocktails) before going upstairs and engaging in some fun. It was the most fun event we've ever attended as a couple and we definitely plan on going again. The difference between the countries that allow legal swing clubs and the ones that don't is that the minute you drive something underground- whether it be a swinger event, a rave or even a car rally, there are opportunists who make money hand over fist, don't care about the safety, consent and happiness of their patrons who rely on a cabal of cronies to publicly vouch for them and then the inevitable happens and something unpleasant happens and it's all hushed up. That's why I don't trust verifications. I take them less seriously than a Google Maps review TBH. A few years back I found out about a well-known strip club in Dublin City centre that got raided by the Gardaí. I don't know who organised this event or even if it was listed on fabswingers (I don't think it was but my memory is a bit fuzzy on this). The regulars who attended these parties were arrested. As were the organisers. This is a classic example of why the laws NEED TO CHANGE, inasmuch to protect the patrons AND the organisers who spend time, energy and yes, cold hard cash on the event. And yes, there are tons of Gardaí on this site, as we well know. Caveat: regardless of whether you go to places like Cap d'Agde or PDI, there of course, will be drama. Drama can't be avoided. In 2005 I overheard a very heated argument by a couple coming back from an event in Cap d'Agde. I'm pretty good with languages but I didn't even recognise this one but I could really tell that the woman was really really upset. And I'd seen things in the Cap that I didn't find very nice either. I especially avoided the dunes at night. So there are never any guarantees of course but government policy can contribute a lot towards demystifying and decriminalisation of swinger venues - because it would offer more protection for those who really need it. | |||
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"Organisers obviously try and balance the numbers between couples and singles. A mixture is needed because different people are looking for different things and that includes single men/women. The difficulty comes when all the slots are not sold. An organiser who is open under subscribed will be tempted to fill the slots with all cummers. That's why we don't want venues that are bigger or open more often than the scene can support, as that will lead to either half empty events, or a free for all with regards gender/quality mixture." There's definitely a lot of truth in this, getting the balance right can be difficult. However, most event organizers over subscribe single men invites because they are generally the ones who don't show up by a significant margin. It's a bit of a contradiction though as you would also be surprised how difficult it is to get single men who are recently meet verified to attend events on their own. It can be a pain in the hole. | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope." I think the attitude towards single guys here is appalling. | |||
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"Organisers obviously try and balance the numbers between couples and singles. A mixture is needed because different people are looking for different things and that includes single men/women. The difficulty comes when all the slots are not sold. An organiser who is open under subscribed will be tempted to fill the slots with all cummers. That's why we don't want venues that are bigger or open more often than the scene can support, as that will lead to either half empty events, or a free for all with regards gender/quality mixture. There's definitely a lot of truth in this, getting the balance right can be difficult. However, most event organizers over subscribe single men invites because they are generally the ones who don't show up by a significant margin. It's a bit of a contradiction though as you would also be surprised how difficult it is to get single men who are recently meet verified to attend events on their own. It can be a pain in the hole." Preach! We can't even oversubscribe on single men at most of our events as there's almost never enough to fill the original spots... Usually we hear crickets after we explain what the word "social" means and that no, there is no play rooms, bjs or glory holes. Baffles me how men want a chance, you give them a chance and they turn their nose to it. | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope. I think the attitude towards single guys here is appalling. " It depends. There's decent men, usually the ones who go to all of the events and there's creeps, the creeps dont last long and become outcasts. Some of the male halfs of couples are creeps and pushy as well but can get away with it because of their partners. But then some of the single ladies are full of drama and also take advantage of single men getting them to bring them events and covering the charges etc. No one is perfect.. | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope. I think the attitude towards single guys here is appalling. It depends. There's decent men, usually the ones who go to all of the events and there's creeps, the creeps dont last long and become outcasts. Some of the male halfs of couples are creeps and pushy as well but can get away with it because of their partners. But then some of the single ladies are full of drama and also take advantage of single men getting them to bring them events and covering the charges etc. No one is perfect.. " 100%. Being an arse isn't the sole preserve of the single male | |||
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Awesome thread. | |||
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"I appreciate that analogy. I would venture that there is a third type of driver that doesn't think to judge at all just takes each individual cyclist as they come. Usually those drivers have some experience with cycling themselves." __________ Presume, not judge. The issue I see with the benefit-of-the-doubt or innocent-until-proven-guilty approach to both cyclists and males at swinger events is that which type they are is only revealed AFTER the incident. I've found it to be the safer assumption (not judgement) that all cyclists are POTENTIALLY the dodgy type. Then I can keep my distance and be more wary of them. The alternative (assume they WON'T break the red light) has the higher potential for issues. Apply that analogy to the male pest in the swinger club - in the context of avoiding issues, isn't it safer to assume that he's potentially a pest (but obviously be open to him proving himself to be grand)... I'm also potentially a male pest - I understand and accept that other attendees - male or female, single or attached - have every right to be wary of me until we chat and get to know each other. The BIG difference is that me & P go to events as a couple, for our own titillation. Neither of us is seeking to play with anyone else - we want to watch or be watched. Maybe as I said earlier P might enjoy light relations with another male if THEY appeal to HER. The male pest will likely be seeking to get it on with someone, no? | |||
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"I could be looking at this with rose tinted glasses but just some points and indeed questions from my point of view I've been to some of the clubs in PDI as a single man and as a couple Single men are not allowed into the play area in most clubs without a female partner although one play area in a club was to one side and not behind a barrier but I never saw any issues ...people just played in front of everyone else anyway.....no problems Are single men allowed into the play area's in clubs in Ireland and is that the reason why couples and women get problems in the play area with some men Maybe I just didnt see the problems in the clubs I was in " No they are not allowed in my experience - if accompanied yes but otherwise no | |||
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"Organisers obviously try and balance the numbers between couples and singles. A mixture is needed because different people are looking for different things and that includes single men/women. The difficulty comes when all the slots are not sold. An organiser who is open under subscribed will be tempted to fill the slots with all cummers. That's why we don't want venues that are bigger or open more often than the scene can support, as that will lead to either half empty events, or a free for all with regards gender/quality mixture. There's definitely a lot of truth in this, getting the balance right can be difficult. However, most event organizers over subscribe single men invites because they are generally the ones who don't show up by a significant margin. It's a bit of a contradiction though as you would also be surprised how difficult it is to get single men who are recently meet verified to attend events on their own. It can be a pain in the hole." My gods, yes, agreed. I can imagine! | |||
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"It's very easy to be anonymous in the uk. I regularly run into people I know at events here. So that makes people nervous. " Well by looks of it more women that are so nervous. Have more men hitting on men on here than normal woman hitting on men… more gay site more then ever. Yes uk way better than here… Oh just to add to that what’s up with women wanting more bi men? Just wondering | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope. You say the words single man like it's some kind of affliction. Are we really not allowed to talk to people we're not going to fuck? Are there other swinger rules for single guys? I've only been to a few clubs and parties and interestingly the feedback that I hear most is that there isn't enough single guys actually turning up." And this is the problem for event organizers, it is very difficult to regulate numbers as you may have 100 single guys asking to attend and the reality is only about 10 will show up. There is the problem with trying to have an equal ratio of men and women. In relation to socials I can say I’ve rarely ever seen an issue, men and women can both have too much to drink and lose the run of themselves, but I’ve never witnessed really bad behavior Play parties are a totally different environment again, some guys feel they are entitled to play, 99% of organizers take any issues very seriously and do look after their patrons, I think the problem is in that small 1%, like any situation, it’s that small group of dickheads (men & women) that ruin nights for others | |||
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"It's very easy to be anonymous in the uk. I regularly run into people I know at events here. So that makes people nervous. Well by looks of it more women that are so nervous. Have more men hitting on men on here than normal woman hitting on men… more gay site more then ever. Yes uk way better than here… Oh just to add to that what’s up with women wanting more bi men? Just wondering " Women are nervous because they aren't hitting on you? Maybe they just don't fancy you? Also wouldnt women want bi men? | |||
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"...and we all know that if a venue or event doesn't control it;s proportion of single men, Women and couples won't go... For us, this 100%... We want to look and watch and will be happy to be looked at and watched in the right context, and with the right people. Maybe other couples are similar? Swapping or sharing isn't our main goal. So for us, single males at events where couples play seems to be a conundrum to manage. On some level, single men at a swinger event (expecting action with a woman from a couple) seems to me (Mr) akin to arriving to a party with no beer of their own. Of course there are couples for whom a single male is on their radar - cuckolds, stag/vixen, hot-wife (or whatever terms are appropriate). And there are single women looking for single men. Without these two types of attendee, why would there be single men in attendance? So a play event almost "needs" single men? Should it be that instead of single men risking approaching uninterested couples (ie, couples not looking for single men), the rules are that unless approached by a couple, they leave couples alone? While we're not "looking for" single men, we're open to the possibility of Mrs having a snog or respectful grope with a man who appeals to P, but only on her/our instigation. There's the other issue that venues make money on drink sales... but the d*unker men (single or in a couple) get, the lower their respect for others gets, and the lower their awareness of risk and consequence gets... Not all men, but I'm sure we're all aware of this. Anyway, regarding OP, we wouldn't go anywhere near a swinger venue that had open admission. Not. A. Hope. You say the words single man like it's some kind of affliction. Are we really not allowed to talk to people we're not going to fuck? Are there other swinger rules for single guys? I've only been to a few clubs and parties and interestingly the feedback that I hear most is that there isn't enough single guys actually turning up. And this is the problem for event organizers, it is very difficult to regulate numbers as you may have 100 single guys asking to attend and the reality is only about 10 will show up. There is the problem with trying to have an equal ratio of men and women. In relation to socials I can say I’ve rarely ever seen an issue, men and women can both have too much to drink and lose the run of themselves, but I’ve never witnessed really bad behavior Play parties are a totally different environment again, some guys feel they are entitled to play, 99% of organizers take any issues very seriously and do look after their patrons, I think the problem is in that small 1%, like any situation, it’s that small group of dickheads (men & women) that ruin nights for others" The incident I mentioned above at the social where my friend and I had to leave because of shitty behaviour by the male half of a couple didn't involve drink at all. They walked into the venue sat beside us and his first words were that he hated these things because nobody wanted to fuck at them. When he didn't get the response he was looking he went off and approached almost every other woman there but left his partner at our table. She looked really uncomfortable and almost as if she was being forced to be there. When he returned he told my friend she should come with them to fuck because he was obviously a better fuck than I was. He was told to fuck off so he tried the same approach with another couple at our table who we didn't know. We left at that point which was only about an hour and a half after we arrived but didn't make a fuss at the time because others seemed to know him and we didn't want to bring others down on us. He walked into that event angry and entitled and none of it was drink fueled. The organiser told us that couple would be barred from future events and other event organisers would be told. Some of those have subsequently told me they had issues with the same couple and blocked them from socials but they continue to attend some socials and have been verified multiple times since as a lovely laid back and friendly couple. Yet another reason to not trust verifications. | |||
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