FabSwingers.com forum: How to approach couples?

By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

I see a lot of bi couples here and some of them I have had the chance of meeting socially or otherwise. I any case it is always daunting to send a message to couples with the fear of getting no reply or delete the message. Any one could give me tips about how approach them?

FYI I always like to write a few lines in my message talking about who am I, what am I into, my kind of social or parties and also sexual elements as well.

TIA

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
44 weeks ago

Lucan

I'd say gingerly, and never from behind as you'll only startle them that way.

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By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

Goes without saying

Most of the times I even don’t send a message if I think I am shooting in the dark

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By *electableicecreamMan
44 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 20/11/23 14:54:53]

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By *electableicecreamMan
44 weeks ago

The West

Easy come easy go. It might be easier said than done but I feel it's not worth overthinking a message that might not even get read let alone replied to and that be no reflection on you whatsoever.

I tend to keep my messages conversational and brief rather then leaning into exposition and I've found that works quiet well.

That said I very rarely send a cold opening message. I do message people I've met socially though and at that point really no need to complicate things beyond keeping in touch and someone know your interested.

Don't be afraid to be direct. Be polite obviously but for people who get a lot of messages I try to keep the word count down.

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By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

"Easy come easy go. It might be easier said than done but I feel it's not worth overthinking a message that might not even get read let alone replied to and that be no reflection on you whatsoever.

I tend to keep my messages conversational and brief rather then leaning into exposition and I've found that works quiet well.

Don't be afraid to be direct. Be polite obviously but for people who get a lot of messages I try to keep the word count down."

That is genuinely a good suggestion

I stopped cold messaging long time ago when I realised it is not working.

I do the same with people I met socialy or in case they are going to the same social event.

I definitely try to add some fun element in it as well but maybe being like too young has a negative impact?

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By *electableicecreamMan
44 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 20/11/23 15:07:07]

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By *electableicecreamMan
44 weeks ago

The West

I'd say age is just about people's preferences but again that's another reason to manage the time and energy you invest.

For myself I found that fab really came alive when I started to attend social events and began to make friends.

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By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

Oh absolutely

Last social I went to I knew so many people

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

I completely understand, talking to two people can pose a problem. Especially when you're not sure who is replying. But it's a small cross to bear , because being invited into someone's dynamic is some craic.

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By *heBlowinsCouple
44 weeks ago

West Cork

"Easy come easy go. It might be easier said than done but I feel it's not worth overthinking a message that might not even get read let alone replied to and that be no reflection on you whatsoever.

I tend to keep my messages conversational and brief rather then leaning into exposition and I've found that works quiet well.

Don't be afraid to be direct. Be polite obviously but for people who get a lot of messages I try to keep the word count down.

That is genuinely a good suggestion

I stopped cold messaging long time ago when I realised it is not working.

I do the same with people I met socialy or in case they are going to the same social event.

I definitely try to add some fun element in it as well but maybe being like too young has a negative impact?"

You ar definitely not too young for some of us

+1 to everything delectable said. He definitely knows a thing or two

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By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

"Easy come easy go. It might be easier said than done but I feel it's not worth overthinking a message that might not even get read let alone replied to and that be no reflection on you whatsoever.

I tend to keep my messages conversational and brief rather then leaning into exposition and I've found that works quiet well.

Don't be afraid to be direct. Be polite obviously but for people who get a lot of messages I try to keep the word count down.

That is genuinely a good suggestion

I stopped cold messaging long time ago when I realised it is not working.

I do the same with people I met socialy or in case they are going to the same social event.

I definitely try to add some fun element in it as well but maybe being like too young has a negative impact?

You ar definitely not too young for some of us

+1 to everything delectable said. He definitely knows a thing or two

Thanks guys

appreciate that. I do agree that Delectable has got some valid points.

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By *itlbeeCouple
44 weeks ago

Ireland

I think the key is dealing with the fear of getting no reply.

There's nothing wrong with getting no reply. It's a neutral indication that the interest isn't there.

Don't take it personally.

I would much rather get no reply myself because I usually just forget I ever sent the message.

As for approaching couples..

First READ THE BIO because many are just looking for other couples.

Secondly always approach as though talking to both, and generally be very respectful.

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By *ethmeonfire OP Man
44 weeks ago

Dublin

"I think the key is dealing with the fear of getting no reply.

There's nothing wrong with getting no reply. It's a neutral indication that the interest isn't there.

Don't take it personally.

I would much rather get no reply myself because I usually just forget I ever sent the message.

As for approaching couples..

First READ THE BIO because many are just looking for other couples.

Secondly always approach as though talking to both, and generally be very respectful. "

I surely agree that no reply is not a problem in not getting a reply. It is the fact that I really click with some couples based on the bio and do want to message but I don’t even do that.

Always address them and guys and been really respectful of the way i talk or address them.

Surely things are changing with verifications

Thanks anyway for jumping in

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
44 weeks ago

Midlands

Send them a message. Keep it brief but nice. If their interested their interested if not move along.

Same when you’re replying. If they’re really interested they'll make time n effort to chat and reply and put a plan in place. If you move to Kik or WhatsApp and they have to keep asking your fab username and are slow as molasses then they are chatting too many at once or simply not serious about having some fun. If they are lighthearted and fun you should be good to go.

Best wishes

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
44 weeks ago

Cork

Might sound so obvious but like with everyone else, it's all about preference. A template sounds great at first but you're restricting yourself.

It's great when a couple has a comprehensive profile that makes an opener easy. Like singles, lots of couples don't have much of a bio or ask for things that can be very vague. Either way, if they don't reply, don't consider it as your loss and instead that it was theirs.

Your bio is where you should have the majority of what you're about and if they don't read that while thinking of replying to you, that's again not your issue.

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