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"Does it really open up everything because I'm verified and very little has changed unfortunately being a single fella is the biggest stumbling block on here " It's not a magic key but you now have access to many events that you didn't before and events are the single most effective way for guys to meet women and couples. Would you consider answering the questions above? All info is useful | |||
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"A Verification should be based on a physical meet, in my book a social meet does not qualify as a veri, its taking the easy route." Thank you. Would you considering answering the questions for verified guys? Every little helps. | |||
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Would you attend a mixed gender event aimed specifically at verifying single men?
Sure
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Would you accept a verification from a well verified heterosexual guy?
In theory, yes (see below)
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Would you accept a verification from a well verified bi or homosexual guy?
In theory, yes (see below)
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Would you prefer a verification from a woman? Could you explain why?
Yes, for optical reasons. But how do women feel about men who have been verified by hetro/bi/gay men in regards to the two questions about. I suppose I would be different for everyone…
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Are you willing to travel to get verified?
Not really, but I am centrally based. | |||
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"Well done OP "Cheers. Your well verified. It would be great if you had a minute to answer the questions. Understanding what it takes to make it work on fab is an important part of breaking through the verification wall. | |||
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"How long have you been on fab? Two weeks " Cheers dude. Fair play. | |||
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"Well done OP
Cheers. Your well verified. It would be great if you had a minute to answer the questions. Understanding what it takes to make it work on fab is an important part of breaking through the verification wall."Will reply later when I get home from work | |||
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"Cheers cork. I feel like the reluctance to meet for a guy meet another guy, arranged through a sex site is pretty legit. I've made the same points as yourself there but on reflection I get it. It might just be possible to create another kind of event where the sole purpose is to offer single guys a chance to get verified by fab members who are in good standing. Maybe it's not possible to change something that's engrained in the culture but I'll give it a red hot go. " Dont DV8 run socials for unveried folks | |||
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"Cheers cork. I feel like the reluctance to meet for a guy meet another guy, arranged through a sex site is pretty legit. I've made the same points as yourself there but on reflection I get it. It might just be possible to create another kind of event where the sole purpose is to offer single guys a chance to get verified by fab members who are in good standing. Maybe it's not possible to change something that's engrained in the culture but I'll give it a red hot go. " On my last profile I was given a fake veri by a man claiming to have been on a fab hike. He wasn't a member of the group and had never attended any of the events. He also verified a number of others who were there but nobody had ever heard of him before. When it was discussed in the group chat the 20+ women in the hiking group were asked if they would consider a veri from a man on a straight males profile a red flag. Only one of them said that they wouldn't. All the others said they would immediately think the guy was actually only fab straight. Admin eventually removed the veri and I never displayed it or the verification summary until they did as a direct result of that group vote. | |||
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"Cheers cork. I feel like the reluctance to meet for a guy meet another guy, arranged through a sex site is pretty legit. I've made the same points as yourself there but on reflection I get it. It might just be possible to create another kind of event where the sole purpose is to offer single guys a chance to get verified by fab members who are in good standing. Maybe it's not possible to change something that's engrained in the culture but I'll give it a red hot go. Dont DV8 run socials for unveried folks " I have something a little bit different in mind bog. | |||
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"Cheers cork. I feel like the reluctance to meet for a guy meet another guy, arranged through a sex site is pretty legit. I've made the same points as yourself there but on reflection I get it. It might just be possible to create another kind of event where the sole purpose is to offer single guys a chance to get verified by fab members who are in good standing. Maybe it's not possible to change something that's engrained in the culture but I'll give it a red hot go. Dont DV8 run socials for unveried folks " From what I’ve seen, they’re mostly midweek which doesn’t work usually for people outside Dublin. | |||
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" When it was discussed in the group chat the 20+ women in the hiking group were asked if they would consider a veri from a man on a straight males profile a red flag. Only one of them said that they wouldn't. All the others said they would immediately think the guy was actually only fab straight. " This is a solvable problem. | |||
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"Cheers cork. I feel like the reluctance to meet for a guy meet another guy, arranged through a sex site is pretty legit. I've made the same points as yourself there but on reflection I get it. It might just be possible to create another kind of event where the sole purpose is to offer single guys a chance to get verified by fab members who are in good standing. Maybe it's not possible to change something that's engrained in the culture but I'll give it a red hot go. Dont DV8 run socials for unveried folks From what I’ve seen, they’re mostly midweek which doesn’t work usually for people outside Dublin. " Right I've never been so never checked dates or days | |||
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"1. Don't display the veri from the other guy 2. Don't display your verification summary 3. Get the green tick 4. Build on it by getting veris that you want to display "If this is the case I don’t even see how it’s a problem. I thought you could hide publications but not the sex of the verification. Also, am I inferring fab straight as “straight”  ? | |||
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"I thought you could hide publications but not the sex of the verification. " Yes you can hide the verification summary in the Manage Verifications section | |||
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 (even if it was booked out to full capacity, if we would divide the many hours we put into talking to 100 people at once would have left us with around £40 between us. Divide that by around 40hours in total spent organizing it - it would have left us with a grand total of "profit" of £0.50 an hour (that's if everyone showed up lol).
*it's not worth my time to listen to lectures
*I'm just here to fuck. Who cares about socials.
*am I allowed to just fuck everyone or do I have to ask first?
*I'm not sure if I want to be in a room with other men.
This is a tiny snippet of the crap we were receiving for weeks.
My head was demented with it and I made a final call to pull the plug on the whole thing and scrap the idea for good. If people can't act like human beings - I'm not here to save them.
Since then we haven't offered to meet many single men to verify them, but 100% of those who we offered to meet either didn't show up or canceled last minute. I have to also mention - cancelations usually happened shortly after I made it super clear a social is a social and no sexual activities will take place over a coffee or a pint in a public place.
Good few months ago we posted a status up that we're going out for a pint and invited anyone to come say hi.
16 unverified men expressed interest and swore they would love a chance to come along and get verified. 1 showed up.
We are currently planning a lil pub crawl on 21st of October afternoon. Super casual, nothing serious, just a few pints and chats.
Unverified people are welcome.
There are 20 people in a group chat so far, 10 of them we know personally and looking forward to meeting for catch up and 10 newbies.
So far stuff we got from newbies:
*so is there going to be a venue booked where everyone will play after?
*should we all get an apartment for play?
*can I play just play with you guys and not with anyone else?
Chances are high that only ones who are actually verified will show up... I'll update my post after 21st 
In conclusion : newbies want sex! Just sex! Sexy sex with sexy sexers. No matter how loud you speak when saying "social is a SOCIAL, there will be nobody sucking anyone's dick" they will still double check if maybe you meant that nobody will suck a dick in public, but you'll provide play rooms with maybe a glory hole...
Good luck OP with your ventures.
Personally... I'd much rather let someone else to deal with unverified men 
Missus | |||
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"I know a few lady’s ran evening meets in limerick for unverified men . I can pm you names of you want to ask them how there attendance was " I'd hazard a guess about 30 - 50%? I'm very happy to hear from anyone who runs events about their experience absolutely. | |||
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" Good luck OP with your ventures. Personally... I'd much rather let someone else to deal with unverified men
Missus "Thank you very much for sharing your experience. It's both illustrative and harrowing! | |||
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"I know a few lady’s ran evening meets in limerick for unverified men . I can pm you names of you want to ask them how there attendance was I'd hazard a guess about 30 - 50%? I'm very happy to hear from anyone who runs events about their experience absolutely." Oh they ran those events around the same time as we had posted outs. They also got completely demented with absolutely horrible messages as well as some crap from seasoned fabbers | |||
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"Sexy sex with sexy sexers." I think I need to put this in my bio. | |||
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"Questions for verified men: Not a single man's perspective per say, but we've a lot of "experience" with single men (no, not the beroom kind)... How long have you been on Fab? Separately 2+ years. Together 5 years. So... 7ish total years. How long did it take to get your first verification? Took Dirk a month. How did you get your first verification? By meeting a woman over a coffee. Would you verify another guy? Yes, we both have from our single profiles. ------------------------------ If there is enough interest I will put together some events focused on getting single men verified. Now my personal (missus) view and our first hand experience: From the beginning of time I always advocated for single men. Let's face it - they are what makes the site lively as it's them who fab all photos, send most messages and give people something to gurn about. I have always believed that most single men deserve a chance at stepping a foot into this environment, they're just unsure how to approach it. So around 4 years ago we both came up with a concept event. A private venue with coffee and traybakes where single men can come along, and socially mingle with experienced couples and women and get some advice on how to get started. No loud music, no getting d*unk, just a group of adults having a civilised conversation. There was a small cost involved in booking the venue (price was a tenner which covered the room and refreshments provided by venues catering company). Messages we have received in our inbox for it: *will there be play rooms? If not - what's the point in me going? *am I at least going to get a bj? *is everyone just going to fuck in one room? *yous are money grabbing bastards trying to profit off single men (even if it was booked out to full capacity, if we would divide the many hours we put into talking to 100 people at once would have left us with around £40 between us. Divide that by around 40hours in total spent organizing it - it would have left us with a grand total of "profit" of £0.50 an hour (that's if everyone showed up lol).
*it's not worth my time to listen to lectures
*I'm just here to fuck. Who cares about socials.
*am I allowed to just fuck everyone or do I have to ask first?
*I'm not sure if I want to be in a room with other men.
This is a tiny snippet of the crap we were receiving for weeks.
My head was demented with it and I made a final call to pull the plug on the whole thing and scrap the idea for good. If people can't act like human beings - I'm not here to save them.
Since then we haven't offered to meet many single men to verify them, but 100% of those who we offered to meet either didn't show up or canceled last minute. I have to also mention - cancelations usually happened shortly after I made it super clear a social is a social and no sexual activities will take place over a coffee or a pint in a public place.
Good few months ago we posted a status up that we're going out for a pint and invited anyone to come say hi.
16 unverified men expressed interest and swore they would love a chance to come along and get verified. 1 showed up.
We are currently planning a lil pub crawl on 21st of October afternoon. Super casual, nothing serious, just a few pints and chats.
Unverified people are welcome.
There are 20 people in a group chat so far, 10 of them we know personally and looking forward to meeting for catch up and 10 newbies.
So far stuff we got from newbies:
*so is there going to be a venue booked where everyone will play after?
*should we all get an apartment for play?
*can I play just play with you guys and not with anyone else?
Chances are high that only ones who are actually verified will show up... I'll update my post after 21st
In conclusion : newbies want sex! Just sex! Sexy sex with sexy sexers. No matter how loud you speak when saying "social is a SOCIAL, there will be nobody sucking anyone's dick" they will still double check if maybe you meant that nobody will suck a dick in public, but you'll provide play rooms with maybe a glory hole...
Good luck OP with your ventures.
Personally... I'd much rather let someone else to deal with unverified men
Missus "I have to say that I attended one of your socials. The effort that you both put into it was amazing. Yes there was a big crowd and good mix of single ladies,men and couples. The night was a great success and I spent most of the night chatting to lots of interesting people. Although there was no play, I never expected there to be anyway. Keep up the good work and look forward to seeing you guys over Xmas or New year. | |||
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"Sad to read the stories of the awful.messagea some single men send. Single men need to empathize with women. Women approach casual sex from the position fearing violence and bad treatment. That power imbalance will always be the biggest issue that makes women wary. That's why we're looking at verifications. We want to know this person is safe and treats others well. Too many single blokes treat women like we're all just free sex workers, they genuinely can't seem to see us as people with our own desires and preferences. " Thanks guys. This is an important subject on fab and probably better off in its own thread. This thread is about gathering info and advocating for the good guys who would like to get verified and are lacking in opportunities. Thank you everyone who has sent answers by PM. Keep them coming in here or in DM | |||
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"Doesn't make any difference quite frankly. Verified for ages and zero meets since despite following every single bit of advice and never being pushy or impolite etc. In any case this isn't the place for single guys to meet women. The regular dating sites are way more appropriate and fruitful. Just bide your time and go to social parties and clubs to get your foot in the door." or go out on a weekend and meet women the old fashioned face to face way. Dating sites etc are totally lobsided numbers wise. Way more men use them than women. As u say , it’s hard then to get your foot in the door or make yourself known if actively looking. I also think men have a view when they sign up to dating sites it’s going to be easy but it’s actually often quiet the opposite. | |||
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"Doesn't make any difference quite frankly. Verified for ages and zero meets since despite following every single bit of advice and never being pushy or impolite etc. In any case this isn't the place for single guys to meet women. The regular dating sites are way more appropriate and fruitful. Just bide your time and go to social parties and clubs to get your foot in the door.or go out on a weekend and meet women the old fashioned face to face way. Dating sites etc are totally lobsided numbers wise. Way more men use them than women. As u say , it’s hard then to get your foot in the door or make yourself known if actively looking. I also think men have a view when they sign up to dating sites it’s going to be easy but it’s actually often quiet the opposite. "Would you care to take the survey?  | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start." It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. " To be honest I just don't think the site is for me. I'm quite an introverted person so I think I'd just sink into the background at events, lose heart and leave. | |||
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"I know a few lady’s ran evening meets in limerick for unverified men . I can pm you names of you want to ask them how there attendance was I'd hazard a guess about 30 - 50%? I'm very happy to hear from anyone who runs events about their experience absolutely. Oh they ran those events around the same time as we had posted outs. They also got completely demented with absolutely horrible messages as well as some crap from seasoned fabbers " From speaking with one of those lovely ladies, the event was a damp squib with very few turning up despite committing to it. They haven't organised any events like that since  | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. " id probably slightly disagree. 2 months on any site where one of the main objectives is meeting is a decent length of time. If you’re a man who signs up here and is actively using the site and trying every week to get places with women and is nowhere after 2 months, he’s going to loose interest very quickly. As I also said yesterday, a lot sign up here looking for one to one meets but have no interest in the meet and greet party social scene. They’re not true swingers for all the world | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. id probably slightly disagree. 2 months on any site where one of the main objectives is meeting is a decent length of time. If you’re a man who signs up here and is actively using the site and trying every week to get places with women and is nowhere after 2 months, he’s going to loose interest very quickly. As I also said yesterday, a lot sign up here looking for one to one meets but have no interest in the meet and greet party social scene. They’re not true swingers for all the world "Plenty of guys on here a lot longer than that and still haven't lost interest. I don't think anyone that is single is a true swinger though. For a given definition of 'true'. | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. id probably slightly disagree. 2 months on any site where one of the main objectives is meeting is a decent length of time. If you’re a man who signs up here and is actively using the site and trying every week to get places with women and is nowhere after 2 months, he’s going to loose interest very quickly. As I also said yesterday, a lot sign up here looking for one to one meets but have no interest in the meet and greet party social scene. They’re not true swingers for all the world
Plenty of guys on here a lot longer than that and still haven't lost interest.
I don't think anyone that is single is a true swinger though. For a given definition of 'true'.
"id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. | |||
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" id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. " What would you wager? That data is being collected in this survey.  | |||
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" id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. What would you wager? That data is being collected in this survey. "id bet 50 euro on it that men actively looking and getting no where after 2 months get totally pissed off of the site. | |||
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" id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. What would you wager? That data is being collected in this survey. id bet 50 euro on it that men actively looking and getting no where after 2 months get totally pissed off of the site. "Ah you've changed the parameters now. No dice. | |||
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"on 2 years first veri after 2 months I don't think I'd veri a guy or display one from a guy. women are the vast minority and a male veri on a male profile won't do anything for them. " Thanks for your answers. Was your first verification from a social or a meet? How did you establish contact? | |||
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" id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. What would you wager? That data is being collected in this survey. id bet 50 euro on it that men actively looking and getting no where after 2 months get totally pissed off of the site.
Ah you've changed the parameters now. No dice."I havnt. That’s exactly what I was saying from the get go. | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. id probably slightly disagree. 2 months on any site where one of the main objectives is meeting is a decent length of time. If you’re a man who signs up here and is actively using the site and trying every week to get places with women and is nowhere after 2 months, he’s going to loose interest very quickly. As I also said yesterday, a lot sign up here looking for one to one meets but have no interest in the meet and greet party social scene. They’re not true swingers for all the world
Plenty of guys on here a lot longer than that and still haven't lost interest.
I don't think anyone that is single is a true swinger though. For a given definition of 'true'.
"Implying Fabswingers should be purely for "true" swingers is like saying a screwdriver should never be used to open a tin of paint! | |||
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" id wager a bet there is very few men on here longer then 2 months actively looking with no meet who Still have complete interest. You’re bound to go down other avenues. 100 % agree with your last sentence. " Complete interest: what does it mean? Nobody has complete interest in anything. Everyone has multiple interests. | |||
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"Getting verified opens the doors to meets, events and parties and can be a challenge to get for a lot of single men. " Questions for verified men: How long have you been on Fab? Could be a year How long did it take to get your first verification? Max 2 months How did you get your first verification? My first account, a friend verified me. Second, I believe I met a lovely couple who verified me. Would you verify another guy? I'm not sure, I haven't verified another guy yet and honestly I don't think I would simply because how different some people (not just men) can be on here. With unverified men, I think it's basically a case of "once bitten, twice shy". An unverified or verified man could be dangerous, a no show, an absolute clown. You never really know unless you give them a chance. At least with a verified man, if you can trust the person who vouched for them, the likelihood of them being shit is less, not zero but definitely less. | |||
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"Verified? I'd just like to get a reply to a DM to be honest. Would be a start. It's bit of chicken and egg for sure. 7 weeks on fab isn't long though. Many people won't respond to an unverified account. Would you consider attending an event? Would you travel? I see a pub crawl mentioned in a post above here. id probably slightly disagree. 2 months on any site where one of the main objectives is meeting is a decent length of time. If you’re a man who signs up here and is actively using the site and trying every week to get places with women and is nowhere after 2 months, he’s going to loose interest very quickly. As I also said yesterday, a lot sign up here looking for one to one meets but have no interest in the meet and greet party social scene. They’re not true swingers for all the world
Plenty of guys on here a lot longer than that and still haven't lost interest.
I don't think anyone that is single is a true swinger though. For a given definition of 'true'.
Implying Fabswingers should be purely for "true" swingers is like saying a screwdriver should never be used to open a tin of paint!"one of the biggest differences I have seen over time on fab, is a lot more women will now only meet at a meet and greet social scene etc and not in a 1-1 environment. | |||
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"To be fair... after hearing hundreds of pure horror stories from other women and some of my own horrible experiences, I think if I was single I would only meet new people at socials too. It's a lot easier to get away from someone in a crowded place if you get a bad juju. Group socials also repel some predators as they're only brave enough to be forceful 1-1 behind closed doors. Missus " The bottom line though still occurs. There are a lot more genuine folk on here then otherwise. The problem is the few bad eggs which are the minority, ruin it. I’m not saying women can’t do what they like on here but if more are more are going the route of social interaction and meet and greets compared to meeting 1:1, you’ll see meets becoming few and far between on here. A lot comes into play before a meet is considered obviously but surely to god, signing up to online sites where you have oodles of people, you realise you’re going to come across a % of strange individuals?! If more and more women go down the route of changing the interpretation of how they interact (meaning they only meet at meet and greets and socials), then fellas signing up here looking for no strings fun and meets in a 1:1 capacity are going to become more frustrated! I’d say you have way more lads signing up here who have no interest whatsoever in the party /social scene. Should you have to attend a party/meet and greet to potentially hit it off with someone in a no strings fun capacity? Imo no, but the site is going alot more that way. | |||
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"To be fair... after hearing hundreds of pure horror stories from other women and some of my own horrible experiences, I think if I was single I would only meet new people at socials too. It's a lot easier to get away from someone in a crowded place if you get a bad juju. Group socials also repel some predators as they're only brave enough to be forceful 1-1 behind closed doors. Missus " This is both infuriating and a sad state of affairs | |||
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"To be fair... after hearing hundreds of pure horror stories from other women and some of my own horrible experiences, I think if I was single I would only meet new people at socials too. It's a lot easier to get away from someone in a crowded place if you get a bad juju. Group socials also repel some predators as they're only brave enough to be forceful 1-1 behind closed doors. Missus The bottom line though still occurs. There are a lot more genuine folk on here then otherwise. The problem is the few bad eggs which are the minority, ruin it. I’m not saying women can’t do what they like on here but if more are more are going the route of social interaction and meet and greets compared to meeting 1:1, you’ll see meets becoming few and far between on here. A lot comes into play before a meet is considered obviously but surely to god, signing up to online sites where you have oodles of people, you realise you’re going to come across a % of strange individuals?! If more and more women go down the route of changing the interpretation of how they interact (meaning they only meet at meet and greets and socials), then fellas signing up here looking for no strings fun and meets in a 1:1 capacity are going to become more frustrated! I’d say you have way more lads signing up here who have no interest whatsoever in the party /social scene. Should you have to attend a party/meet and greet to potentially hit it off with someone in a no strings fun capacity? Imo no, but the site is going alot more that way. " But by it's very nature, swinging IS a social activity, it's a lifestyle, hence the popularity of social events. What you're describing is not a swinging site but Tinder, Bumble PoF etc. Unfortunately, swinging sites will attract assholes and strange people more than dating sites (because they think we have no morals and basically anything goes) so I'm not surprised that many ladies (while they may have joined initially for private meets) discover the social side, start making friends, start feeling safer, have a whole lot of fun and decide to only meet guys that way. | |||
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"_ofusplus took words out of my mouth. I would also like to add that many people who never been to a single social imagine group social events to be some kind of weird group where if a guy walks into a room and everyone just stares at him because he doesn't know anyone or whatever other fantasy they're having. While in reality it is just a night out in a bar or club like any other vanilla one - only difference is that at an organized social people who are attending are vetted, predators are avoided as much as possible and everyone who's going out are actually interested in meeting people, so everyone is "on a pull". You can attend a group social and still have that 1-1 experience. To me when a man says he doesn't do socials and prefers private 1-1 rings alarm bells first - why do you not want me to feel safe? As we can perfectly have that private 1-1 surrounded by people who are looking out for me if something goes wrong but simultaneously minding their own business. Missus " Agreed and I will add that a man who goes out of his comfort zone to attend socials and makes the effort to talk to people is a very attractive man indeed | |||
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"To be fair... after hearing hundreds of pure horror stories from other women and some of my own horrible experiences, I think if I was single I would only meet new people at socials too. It's a lot easier to get away from someone in a crowded place if you get a bad juju. Group socials also repel some predators as they're only brave enough to be forceful 1-1 behind closed doors. Missus The bottom line though still occurs. There are a lot more genuine folk on here then otherwise. The problem is the few bad eggs which are the minority, ruin it. I’m not saying women can’t do what they like on here but if more are more are going the route of social interaction and meet and greets compared to meeting 1:1, you’ll see meets becoming few and far between on here. A lot comes into play before a meet is considered obviously but surely to god, signing up to online sites where you have oodles of people, you realise you’re going to come across a % of strange individuals?! If more and more women go down the route of changing the interpretation of how they interact (meaning they only meet at meet and greets and socials), then fellas signing up here looking for no strings fun and meets in a 1:1 capacity are going to become more frustrated! I’d say you have way more lads signing up here who have no interest whatsoever in the party /social scene. Should you have to attend a party/meet and greet to potentially hit it off with someone in a no strings fun capacity? Imo no, but the site is going alot more that way. But by it's very nature, swinging IS a social activity, it's a lifestyle, hence the popularity of social events. What you're describing is not a swinging site but Tinder, Bumble PoF etc. Unfortunately, swinging sites will attract assholes and strange people more than dating sites (because they think we have no morals and basically anything goes) so I'm not surprised that many ladies (while they may have joined initially for private meets) discover the social side, start making friends, start feeling safer, have a whole lot of fun and decide to only meet guys that way." Been honest about it, I think any site where you meet in this capacity has the potential to draw in weirdos, it’s not just here. I’d also be confident enough in saying, of all the singles who sign up here, I’d say the majority are not swingers. Your position is kinda slightly different in that you’re a couple. I’m more talking about singles. | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. " maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. | |||
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"I'm watching the fab circus for many years, I came to the conclusion that if you can't figure out yourself how to make fab work you don't belong here. Simple as that. Fab isn't rocket science. You can throw all the advise and help out there, the fab failure rate stays the same and you might be giving the wrong people tips. So I'm afraid OP, imo all your Sidney University research is a waste of time. "in reality, what I have been saying here is men shouldn’t have to go 2 a party/meet and greet to meet women but it’s more and more going that way. | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. " Absolutely, they shouldn't do anything they don't want to. But.... from years of experience also - most of the time when you offer someone to meet 1-1 for a coffee and see if you get along. Most don't show up or cancel as soon as you make it clear that a coffee is just a coffee and there will be no bjs happening. Go figure. | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. Absolutely, they shouldn't do anything they don't want to. But.... from years of experience also - most of the time when you offer someone to meet 1-1 for a coffee and see if you get along. Most don't show up or cancel as soon as you make it clear that a coffee is just a coffee and there will be no bjs happening. Go figure. " just out of curiosity, did the men have to travel far for those coffees? | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. Absolutely, they shouldn't do anything they don't want to. But.... from years of experience also - most of the time when you offer someone to meet 1-1 for a coffee and see if you get along. Most don't show up or cancel as soon as you make it clear that a coffee is just a coffee and there will be no bjs happening. Go figure. just out of curiosity, did the men have to travel far for those coffees?" Never. I always refused to meet anyone who didn't live in Belfast just from previous bad experiences where some people expected sexual favours for their trouble. | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. Absolutely, they shouldn't do anything they don't want to. But.... from years of experience also - most of the time when you offer someone to meet 1-1 for a coffee and see if you get along. Most don't show up or cancel as soon as you make it clear that a coffee is just a coffee and there will be no bjs happening. Go figure. just out of curiosity, did the men have to travel far for those coffees? Never. I always refused to meet anyone who didn't live in Belfast just from previous bad experiences where some people expected sexual favours for their trouble. " and they just never turned up was it? Have you had more positive or negative exp with single men on here? | |||
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"I was talking about it from a singles perspective as I was a single woman on here for a good while. I was on pof for a few years too and can confidently say that I never felt threatened nor pushed into things I didn't want to do by anyone I met on pof. Yes, there's lots of weirdos on those platforms too. Fab does attract more men who feel entitled to have their way as they see it women who join a swingers site being easy and anything goes, here to drain their balls. Gosh all you have to do is read some status updates to make your skin crawl. maybe men see it that way alrite but of the single men who sign up here, like I was saying, most I think want the potential of meeting women for maybe a coffee and see does it develop. They have no interest in the party meet and greet scene. It’s just something I have spotted with women a lot more on this site. Absolutely, they shouldn't do anything they don't want to. But.... from years of experience also - most of the time when you offer someone to meet 1-1 for a coffee and see if you get along. Most don't show up or cancel as soon as you make it clear that a coffee is just a coffee and there will be no bjs happening. Go figure. just out of curiosity, did the men have to travel far for those coffees? Never. I always refused to meet anyone who didn't live in Belfast just from previous bad experiences where some people expected sexual favours for their trouble. and they just never turned up was it? Have you had more positive or negative exp with single men on here?" When I was single - there was absolutely less no shows/last min cancelations from single men, zero no shows from women and couples. Although I only ever agreed to meet people I've been chatting to for a while and built a rapport with. Even taking all of that into account - 100% of cancelations and no shows happened after me expressing that a social is a social - nothing sexual will happen, please don't have expectations (disclaimer that I felt I had to add because of previous bad experiences with pushyness and straight up assault). As a couple- I can count on one hand how many single men showed up to meet us for a coffee or a drink. No shows from women and couples- still zero, all of them show up and never cancel. Granted these days we don't have the time to chat for ages and ages, so we just prefer now meeting people face to face with very little chat online which I feel is affecting that issue. It would be a lot more disappointing tho if we did spend a long time chatting online for them to not show up in the end too | |||
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"I'm watching the fab circus for many years, I came to the conclusion that if you can't figure out yourself how to make fab work you don't belong here. Simple as that. Fab isn't rocket science. You can throw all the advise and help out there, the fab failure rate stays the same and you might be giving the wrong people tips. So I'm afraid OP, imo all your Sidney University research is a waste of time. in reality, what I have been saying here is men shouldn’t have to go 2 a party/meet and greet to meet women but it’s more and more going that way. "Nobody's forcing men to go to socials. It's an easy way to meet other fabbers and part of the scene. If it's not your thing stay away. There's fair amount of men on here who never went/go to one of those events and still get meets. So it's possible. You making it sound like it's somehow unfair what men have to do to get their willy dipped There's no entitlement when signing up here. In other words there's no leg over warranty or fuck vouchers or dial a ride or pity sucks. If you can't get a meet, fecking tough. For pressure relief use your two hands. | |||
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"I'm watching the fab circus for many years, I came to the conclusion that if you can't figure out yourself how to make fab work you don't belong here. Simple as that. Fab isn't rocket science. You can throw all the advise and help out there, the fab failure rate stays the same and you might be giving the wrong people tips. So I'm afraid OP, imo all your Sidney University research is a waste of time. in reality, what I have been saying here is men shouldn’t have to go 2 a party/meet and greet to meet women but it’s more and more going that way.
Nobody's forcing men to go to socials. It's an easy way to meet other fabbers and part of the scene. If it's not your thing stay away.
There's fair amount of men on here who never went/go to one of those events and still get meets. So it's possible.
You making it sound like it's somehow unfair what men have to do to get their willy dipped
There's no entitlement when signing up here. In other words there's no leg over warranty or fuck vouchers or dial a ride or pity sucks.
If you can't get a meet, fecking tough. For pressure relief use your two hands.
"im making the point that going by what I’m reading more and more women are opting out of the 1:1 scenario, that’s all | |||
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" im making the point that going by what I’m reading more and more women are opting out of the 1:1 scenario, that’s all "What are you basing this on? I only ask because this has not been my experience and I would add that the forum isn't really representative of fab at large. It's a very tiny percentage of the overall membership. I've had quite a few one to one coffee socials in the six months I've been on fab. | |||
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"I'm watching the fab circus for many years, I came to the conclusion that if you can't figure out yourself how to make fab work you don't belong here. Simple as that. Fab isn't rocket science. You can throw all the advise and help out there, the fab failure rate stays the same and you might be giving the wrong people tips. So I'm afraid OP, imo all your Sidney University research is a waste of time. "Learning new things is always a worthwhile pursuit | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past. "That's not a lot to go on to be fair. I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here. Most single guys don't turn up. Read that again. | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past.
That's not a lot to go on to be fair.
I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here.
Most single guys don't turn up.
Read that again.
"most single guys I’d say with confidence sign up here for one reason | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past.
That's not a lot to go on to be fair.
I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here.
Most single guys don't turn up.
Read that again.
most single guys I’d say with confidence sign up here for one reason "Everyone on this site signed up for the same reason. | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past.
That's not a lot to go on to be fair.
I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here.
Most single guys don't turn up.
Read that again.
most single guys I’d say with confidence sign up here for one reason
Everyone on this site signed up for the same reason.
"and that was part of my initial point. With many, especially females that goes out the window. “Not meeting” “ only meeting at meet and greets socials” etc etc. I wouldn’t say one person signed up here day 1 just for the forum and or meet and greet parties. To me it’s like the few bad eggs put a lot off and also it’s like to some it was unexpected. Signing up to any online site you have to remember there is bad eggs everywhere. Also, the “advice” given to single men on here. All that could be followed and they still might not be successful. It’s the nature of the website but I feel sorry for some men been told what to do on here as if it’s all their fault that they’re not getting anywhere. I personally don’t think it’s always the man’s fault. | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past.
That's not a lot to go on to be fair.
I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here.
Most single guys don't turn up.
Read that again.
most single guys I’d say with confidence sign up here for one reason
Everyone on this site signed up for the same reason.
and that was part of my initial point. With many, especially females that goes out the window. “Not meeting” “ only meeting at meet and greets socials” etc etc. I wouldn’t say one person signed up here day 1 just for the forum and or meet and greet parties. To me it’s like the few bad eggs put a lot off and also it’s like to some it was unexpected. Signing up to any online site you have to remember there is bad eggs everywhere. Also, the “advice” given to single men on here. All that could be followed and they still might not be successful. It’s the nature of the website but I feel sorry for some men been told what to do on here as if it’s all their fault that they’re not getting anywhere. I personally don’t think it’s always the man’s fault. "I can see your running with your theory that most women won't meet up for one to one socials. It isn't true. I think your just being argumentative for the sake of it and have no real dog in this race. This will be my last reply to you on this thread. This debate is over. If anyone else would like to take the survey please to jump on. I will be publishing the results tomorrow | |||
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"Numerous profile text plus status updates over the last 5/6 months. It’s just a big increase on what I witnessed in the past.
That's not a lot to go on to be fair.
I have to say the advantages of attending a social event are too many to enumerate but I'll throw out the most obvious ones here.
Most single guys don't turn up.
Read that again.
most single guys I’d say with confidence sign up here for one reason
Everyone on this site signed up for the same reason.
and that was part of my initial point. With many, especially females that goes out the window. “Not meeting” “ only meeting at meet and greets socials” etc etc. I wouldn’t say one person signed up here day 1 just for the forum and or meet and greet parties. To me it’s like the few bad eggs put a lot off and also it’s like to some it was unexpected. Signing up to any online site you have to remember there is bad eggs everywhere. Also, the “advice” given to single men on here. All that could be followed and they still might not be successful. It’s the nature of the website but I feel sorry for some men been told what to do on here as if it’s all their fault that they’re not getting anywhere. I personally don’t think it’s always the man’s fault.
I can see your running with your theory that most women won't meet up for one to one socials.
It isn't true.
I think your just being argumentative for the sake of it and have no real dog in this race.
This will be my last reply to you on this thread.
This debate is over.
If anyone else would like to take the survey please to jump on.
I will be publishing the results tomorrow "I never said most women won’t meet up for one to one socials. I said, I have seen an increase going by what women say in the last few months that a lot more are now only meeting at the meet and greet party social stage. | |||
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(First time on fab took a few months at least - this time I was lucky as its a new name and no one I talked to before would probably remember)
How did you get your first verification?
A kind woman saw me post on forums and offered to verify me
Would you verify another guy?
Probably not
Like other men have said, most women will look at that like it isn't a well enough earned verification at best or dodgy/into men at worst
Plus, I don't want to waste much time on this for what I'm here for | |||
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"That’s the thorn in my side. I can’t get meets without being verified but how can I get verified if no one will meet. Haha it can be a strange place in here on fab or is it me I keep asking myself that’s strange…" What kind of things have you tried? | |||
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"Ive tried the likes of asking to go on a social for coffee/chat etc still same won’t meet if not verified. So it goes back to how can get verified if won’t meet "https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/1515519 There you go an ideal social for you run by a great couple | |||
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" Questions for verified men: How long have you been on Fab? How long did it take to get your first verification? How did you get your first verification? Would you verify another guy? " About 3 years…. About a year…. I posted a picture of my wang and chose a lucky winner from the avalanche of PM’s I instantly received….  
(Patience and forum interaction/flirting followed by PM’s.)
Yes, no problem helping with verifications…. | |||
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"Thanks Linden. " Xx….. | |||
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