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Lying to my mother

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork

Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?

"

No promises, but of there's a worthy one...sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "

Tell her you thought about it and decided you'd visit no problem if she lived nearer

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork


"Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?

No promises, but of there's a worthy one...sure!"

Well to avoid lying to your mother, simply say you've been dealing with a real pain in the ass recently and it's a pain not worth discussing

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Belfast


"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand

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By *ornywife20Couple
over a year ago

North Cork

Tell her a bird has laid an egg on the driver seat of the car when you left the window open and it's a very rare bird so you can't move the egg

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By *he zephyrCouple
over a year ago

The Sol

Tell her you fell on your bum at the roller disco

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork


"

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand "

Sure it happens to us all tbf

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

"Tell her you thought about it and decided you'd visit no problem if she lived nearer "

No beuno. I quite enjoy the drive at the moment it's less pleasant than usual is all. Explaining a ring pillow would be hilarious.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Genius! Does the best one get used as the excuse next time?

No promises, but of there's a worthy one...sure!

Well to avoid lying to your mother, simply say you've been dealing with a real pain in the ass recently and it's a pain not worth discussing "

Nice! She'd understand that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her you’re getting you’re coil changed and you couldn’t manage the drive

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand

Sure it happens to us all tbf "

It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just tell her you’re getting you’re coil changed and you couldn’t manage the drive "

Haha! Now there's a story she won't appreciate at the moment

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Tell her you fell on your bum at the roller disco "

First think that entered my head...we've all been there

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Belfast


"

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand

Sure it happens to us all tbf

It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such. "

A cannonball at the local swimmers went awry

You accidentally jumped into the shallow end like a silly goose

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Tell her you fell on your bum at the roller disco

First think that entered my head...we've all been there "

This is the one she would be happiest to believe so far

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand

Sure it happens to us all tbf

It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such.

A cannonball at the local swimmers went awry

You accidentally jumped into the shallow end like a silly goose"

To be fair. I am a silly goose. She would accept that.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

You were playing some touch rugby with friends and you fell onto your ass

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"You were playing some touch rugby with friends and you fell onto your ass "

She wouldn't believe the touch part if I'm in I'm all in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say it was a riding accident,

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just say it was a riding accident, "

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!"

You would look good in jodhpurs

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Belfast

Jeez your Ma is awful nosey

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

You would look good in jodhpurs "

Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork


"

Tell her you took a consensual blow to the tailbone, I’m sure she’ll understand

Sure it happens to us all tbf

It definitely happens to me! She's cool with bruises most times. But this is a whole other ball game, as such. "

A ball game? You can explain it as that then

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Jeez your Ma is awful nosey"

Not so much. But not bring able to sit is a tad alarming to most people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you have piles

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

"A ball game? You can explain it as that then "

Haha! Sadly no balls involved. Crops, dragon tails, Floggers, whips, paddles, etc... sure. No actual balls.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Tell her you have piles "

She'll assume anal in that case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

You would look good in jodhpurs

Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald. "

You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

You would look good in jodhpurs

Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.

You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback"

I am an experienced rider bareback requires commitment. Not something I've done or been willing to do in a long time.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

Bare Knuckle boxing however... that's up my alley

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly "

Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

You would look good in jodhpurs

Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.

You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback"

There is no seat or saddle if you’re riding bareback

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just say it was a riding accident,

Ooooh!! Now we're talking. Someone did break a crop on me during this scene... sooooo it's close to the truth!

You would look good in jodhpurs

Thanks I'm inclined to agree. I miss my sadist buddy who used to let me ride his piebald.

You need to be an experienced rider to stay seated bareback

There is no seat or saddle if you’re riding bareback "

Having a good seat is a equestrian term. It doesn't require a saddle. It is purely based on the rider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Belfast


"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly

Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me. "

So you’re covering a riding injury with a riding injury….

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol "

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"You went out with some friends. The bar had a rodeo bull machine thingy and you thought it would be fun to give it a go and subsequently got thrown off. Resulting in you landing awkwardly

Yaaasss! This is believable, likely, and very me.

So you’re covering a riding injury with a riding injury…."

Pretty much. Except there was no riding. It was purely impact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes. "

My late mother missed nothing and I'm the same with my kids .. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/09/23 21:57:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.

My late mother missed nothing and I'm the same with my kids .. lol "

Hugs, m'dear. x

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable. "

She would 100 percent ask who I was rebounding with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable. "

My poor mother would have asked for his phone number

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

She would 100 percent ask who I was rebounding with "

Lol

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

My poor mother would have asked for his phone number "

In this case it's a couple would she still be game?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You fell off the step ladder while being pushed from behind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

My poor mother would have asked for his phone number

In this case it's a couple would she still be game?"

She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes. "

In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway!

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

My poor mother would have asked for his phone number

In this case it's a couple would she still be game?

She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter "

I like the sound of her Again, hugs. Or punches. Whichever suit better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her you’ve been having hot, sweaty, rampant sex with a new fella you meant on line and he’s left you with an unexplainable sex injury. Resulting in a massive pain in the ass, leaving sitting for long periods of time very uncomfortable.

My poor mother would have asked for his phone number

In this case it's a couple would she still be game?

She passed away last year but if she was still alive she would be very up for it .. like mother like daughter

I like the sound of her Again, hugs. Or punches. Whichever suit better "

Thank you x

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.

In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway! "

Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.

In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway!

Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok. "

Tell her that then

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"OP never lie to yr Mamma they always find out lol

I agreed wholeheartedly. She's unreal. When she found out I'd performed with a BDSM act at EP in 2022 she took it so well I still use her 3 questions to vet people on both the swing and Fet scenes.

In that case she’s already worked out what you’ve been up to anyway!

Fab won't let me publish pics of bruises she has seen. She's unbelievable. This one is different. It's not just visible it's audible. And longer lasting. I think she'd be more ok with it it of it was sex related the thought that pain can be more intimate than sex is a wee bit of an issue still. We're working on it. As long as I'm happy she's ok.

Tell her that then "

I'm working on it. Just like a D/s relationship it needs to be addressed delicately. With finesse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts "

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx. "

Close enough nite

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By *j69funCouple
over a year ago

kildare

Say you were cycling and mans bicycle and your foot slipped off the pedal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx.

Close enough nite "

Goodnight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx.

Close enough nite

Goodnight "

Night Lou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx.

Close enough nite

Goodnight

Night Lou "

And op

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.


"All the best hope she understands why you’re hole hurts

Now now. Not my hole. My coccyx. "

There's a massage to fix that, believe it or not!

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By *iraeireMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "

Mom, I'd love to visit, but you won't believe it - I accidentally joined a twerking competition and won! Now, I've got a tailbone injury from my epic twerking moves. I need some time to heal my 'bootylicious' self before I can sit comfortably in your presence. It's all in the name of dance, you know!

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By *rodigal Son 2023Man
over a year ago

kells


"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it "

The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Usually I tell her as much of the truth as I can without upsetting her. This week is tricky. I took a punch to the tailbone (all consentual good fun) and am slow to explain to her why I don't want to drive 4 hours to visit and attempt to sit gingerly during the visit. So, dear Fabbers, hit me (pun intended) with your proposals for the Funniest excuses for not being able to visit my mother and/or sit comfortably if I do. Let's have a laugh about it

The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!

"

This reminds me of the time I screamed "what's in the box?!" at her before she had watched Seven...

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

Latest update: "distraction flogging" helped briefly. Yay for good friends with particular skill sets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse Melanie can write you a sick note for that twerking completion injury!

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By *arlN1972Man
over a year ago

belfast

How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Nurse Melanie can write you a sick note for that twerking completion injury!"

Thanks ever so much!!

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By * Va OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x"

Just to be clear: you want to meet my bum? Or my mum? It's worth being super clear on this front I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about I do the driving for you and bring you a blow up RING to sit on for the journey kill 2 bird with one stone you get your sore hoop looked after and still visit your mum. Lol and introduce me and your bum and problem solver x

Just to be clear: you want to meet my bum? Or my mum? It's worth being super clear on this front I reckon. "

Lol

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By *arlN1972Man
over a year ago

belfast

Fucking autocorrect. It will be your mum at that stage. I’ll of already met your bum getting you into the car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always tell her the truth, problem solve!

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

A nice young man was giving you a carry home on his crossbar and unfortunately he cycled into a huge pot hole and gave you an awful bump.

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Tell her you were in the gym with me. Everywhere from your scalp, hole and toes sore. Tell her next time she sees you you’ll have “Chesticles on your Breasticles”

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