FabSwingers.com forum: Who's a hard man.

By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

We've all grown up looking at men with donkey cocks hammering women through the bed for what seems like an eternity.

Leaving size aside, getting hard and staying hard are probably the two things playing upon the minds of some the men on here when it comes to meets.

It's possibly exacerbated again by self imposed performance anxiety and perhaps reinforced by the fab fantasy world of exotic play parties and hardened swingers that might only exit in our imaginations.

People have high standards and meeting them can be a nerve inducing experience.

So it happens. Your dick doesn't get hard.

Let's just take it as read that this happens to everyone at some point in their lives whether it's whiskey dick, nervy dick or perhaps simply a more mature dick.

So...

Do you always get hard on first contact?

Do nerves ever kill it?

Is it embarrassing?

What do you do?

And for those on the other end of that experience

Do you mind?

Do you take it personally?

Do you try to help?

What do you do?

Let's talk cock.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

Never been a problem even at this late stage of a long and active sex life.

Getting it back in my pants can prove difficult at times but that's more down to Paul Costello short zips than anything else.

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

"Never been a problem even at this late stage of a long and active sex life.

Getting it back in my pants can prove difficult at times but that's more down to Paul Costello short zips than anything else."

I guess my goal here is to encourage a conversation without the bragging.

Happy for you though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once after slot of whiskey,it got hard , as usual, but after 30 minutes of d*unk fucking , she wanted more but it had other ideas. She wasn't impressed and blamed the whiskey. I told her of her flatmate came into the room and joined us i don't think it would be a problem, she wasn't impressed.

I think it was the whiskey, but I've had more and it hasn't happened. I believe it's quite common but if it were to be a problem I'm sure the doctor could prescribe something.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I learned a lesson the (not lol) hard way. We were attending a small play party with a host that I knew well having attended several times before. He told me that there was a newbie girl attending who he believes was right up my street and told her the same about me. When it came to it there wasn't the level of attraction on my side than I would have normally looked for, but I felt a little pressure and she was all over me in the initial chats. In hindsight I should have just said it wasn't for me, but I didn't. I went through to a bedroom with her and it just didn't work. I felt really sorry for her as she went straight into blaming herself and I felt guilty. A shit show all round.

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By *oshSardineMan
over a year ago

Castleknock

A couple of times when I was in my twenties and drinking several nights a week and sometimes having more than I should, I have had a hard cock go down fairly quick and even not getting fully hard where it’s been a bit wobbly and just wouldn’t go in. I suppose no more or less than many other men. I would definitely have some kind of a stirring when attracted to a female either when we’ve met up blind or after meeting up even after exchanging pics from when I was previously here. It works both ways with males and females if they are attracted to each other.

There’s that old saying, you don’t look at a mantle piece when you’re poking the fire but I do think you’ve got to have some attraction to get semi hard at least. I’m sure when it’s not been able to get hard enough to get in or if I’d lost the erection, the female was fairly pissed off but didn’t show it. It’s probably best I not get in contact with any of them to ask just in case it brings feelings of inadequacies

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

"Never been a problem even at this late stage of a long and active sex life.

Getting it back in my pants can prove difficult at times but that's more down to Paul Costello short zips than anything else.

I guess my goal here is to encourage a conversation without the bragging.

Happy for you though."

Not bragging. Just telling it as it is and always has been.

It's an open forum so I am not sure if OP's can have the luxury of being selective about how others wish to engage with a thread unless that contribution is rude, off topic or contravenes the forum rules.

I am always happy to post to a thread that grabs my interest and in this case it might give encouragement to others to stay fit and active despite the advance of time.

And those short zips really are a pain in the bollix.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections

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By *oxxxVixenCouple
over a year ago

Tipp, Clare,

From a ladies point of view.. its really not a big deal, it happens sometimes for whatever reasons and I'm surprised anybody takes it personally or the reaction is "unimpressed".

Most of the time if you just carry on doing other things he comes back up ... and if not there are still other ways to have fun!

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections "

Same. Probably the single biggest positive change I made for myself when it comes to boners.

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

"From a ladies point of view.. its really not a big deal, it happens sometimes for whatever reasons and I'm surprised anybody takes it personally or the reaction is "unimpressed".

Most of the time if you just carry on doing other things he comes back up ... and if not there are still other ways to have fun!

There was a pretty good discussion about this in the lounge where some women talked about having to work through the feeling that they might have failed or might not be attractive enough.

Unimpressed seems a bit rough alright.

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

"Never been a problem even at this late stage of a long and active sex life.

Getting it back in my pants can prove difficult at times but that's more down to Paul Costello short zips than anything else.

I guess my goal here is to encourage a conversation without the bragging.

Happy for you though.

Not bragging. Just telling it as it is and always has been.

I am always happy to post to a thread that grabs my interest and in this case it might give encouragement to others to stay fit and active despite the advance of time.

And those short zips really are a pain in the bollix.

Fair enough. I may have been a bit quick of the mark there.

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

To be honest, it doesn't bother me. There can be a variety of reasons that men cannot get erect be they physiological or psychological. I would never put pressure on as only enhances the stress.. I have first hand experience of a relationship with ED so Im aware of the many nuances to it.

There is many things to do bide your time...

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections "

Never heard of this before. Was it the frequency of orgasm you think, and abstaining for a bit helped? Or something else?

On a related note, Laura had to give up her wand for a while as it desensitised her as it was so powerful.

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections

Never heard of this before. Was it the frequency of orgasm you think, and abstaining for a bit helped? Or something else?

On a related note, Laura had to give up her wand for a while as it desensitised her as it was so powerful."

In my case and with a bit of hindsight I think it was that the frequency distorted my perception of what a sexual experience should be. I was heavily biased on the visual experience and fantasty and of course reality isn't like that.

Stopping porn brought me back into my body and into the experience of sensuality.

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By *londyPrincessCouple
over a year ago

Carricmakross

No issue getting hard and going for ages with my partner. At home or small house party.

But when it comes to big party's it's tough to keep the mind in the game.

But then I just get my head down

And do some other things that keeps women HAPPY. (Blondy)

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections

Never heard of this before. Was it the frequency of orgasm you think, and abstaining for a bit helped? Or something else?

On a related note, Laura had to give up her wand for a while as it desensitised her as it was so powerful."

I can relate to the latter.

Desensitisation is definitely a thing for me - be that frequency of masturbation and/or sex. A break works wonders!

And from a woman's perspective but in reverse - my first sexual encounters after my 20 odd year marriage broke down, I was unable to orgasm (and honest about it). He very much took it personally and took offence!!! The reality for me was that we were sexually a dream match but I just couldn't get over the peak. In other words, my inability had absolutely nothing to do with him or his "performance" - it was entirely in my head, moving on after having had sex with just one man for 20 odd years.

I've only ever met one chap who seemed to have a problem with hardness anytime we met but it didn't become a topic of discussion so I don't know why. I didn't take it personally.

It's not something I would make a big deal out of, take personally or want anyone to be embarrassed about because any of us can go through a stage in life where things just don't go how we'd like, physically, psychologically or emotionally.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections

Never heard of this before. Was it the frequency of orgasm you think, and abstaining for a bit helped? Or something else?

On a related note, Laura had to give up her wand for a while as it desensitised her as it was so powerful."

It was replaying scenes in my head and reality being different . I also couldn’t do a bit of Porn. It can be a very obsessive thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest, it doesn't bother me. There can be a variety of reasons that men cannot get erect be they physiological or psychological. I would never put pressure on as only enhances the stress.. I have first hand experience of a relationship with ED so Im aware of the many nuances to it.

There is many things to do bide your time... "

Good comment

If it is an issue, the lady can assist to get things going again. This is usually the case after coming more than once, same with performance anxiety IMO. Change it up and it’ll stay up

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

I remember cleary my first experience 'd*unk dick'. Night out on the town with my girlfriend and back to the b&b totally hammered on red wine.

Nothing was happening for me so I went down on her until she came and then she promptly fell asleep.

I was so proud of myself

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Yeah it happens due to alcohol, nerves, lack of attraction or all three.

If he is part of a couple we advise him to go back to his partner as their connection/familiarity usually does the trick.

I'm too chilled and too long in the tooth to take it personally. Mrs

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I take 10 tablets everyday to help beat a long term illness and to stay alive

Somedays when I have a meet I take 11 .....simple as

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take 10 tablets everyday to help beat a long term illness and to stay alive

Somedays when I have a meet I take 11 .....simple as "

Thankfully I’m not in that position yet but I suppose it will come with age

And if it does I’ll take the 11 aswell why not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I stopped watching porn because it affected my erections

Never heard of this before. Was it the frequency of orgasm you think, and abstaining for a bit helped? Or something else?

On a related note, Laura had to give up her wand for a while as it desensitised her as it was so powerful.

Stopping porn brought me back into my body and into the experience of sensuality."

This all the way. I stopped using porn months ago as I realised every time I masturbated i "needed" it. Shortly after i found myself much more in control of my own body, more aware of the thoughts that would cause arousal and sustain very strong elections. It has been a massive change for me in many aspects of my life. Rather than staring a screen tugging like a zombie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all to do with blood flow ..l know it might be saying the obvious but good blood flow means great erections..

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

It happens and it’s no big deal. I never see the point in getting stressed about it from either side as that’s certainly not going to help matters.

I think, with first meets in particular, there can be a pressure to perform and that can get people in their heads. That’s why it’s so important to me that I can have the chats and a laugh with the person I’m meeting. It makes everything far more relaxed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no problem with the hardness. it's meeting newbies where there was a lot of sexual tension in the lead up where I can cum very quickly. the reload is always ready quickly though fortunately. it can vbe a bit awkward though

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

You should seek medical treatment. Limp dick. "

This is good advice. If anyone is worried about ED the doctor is the place to start.

I was motivated to start this thread after reading a similar discussion in the lounge where I was really surprised by how men and women didn't mind discussing their experiences both positive and challenging.

And I think it's particularly helpful for men who are new and nervous to hear from women that it's really not a problem. It happens and there's plenty of other ways to play.

Personally I know I'm not going to get hard if I'm not attracted to someone beyond superficial attraction. That's not an issue really as I prefer to have sex when there is some kind of connection or mutual appreciation and I don't pursue anything else.

A half bottle of fine Whiskey is also pretty much a sure thing for a no boner session and this isn't something that worries me either. If I'm getting that d*unk it's with a good friend and we couldn't care less.

The main thing for me was nerves. I came to Fab after twenty years of monogamy and sex without condoms. The first time I tried to put one on was both hilarious and educational. I was a little embarrassed that the effort killed my hard on and also a little proud that it didn't fit.

It still takes me a while to relax with someone new and I am very comfortable with this now.

It's been a journey. I'm delighted to still be on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks for sharing op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should seek medical treatment. Limp dick.

This is good advice. If anyone is worried about ED the doctor is the place to start.

And I think it's particularly helpful for men who are new and nervous to hear from women that it's really not a problem. It happens and there's plenty of other ways to play.

It still takes me a while to relax with someone new and I am very comfortable with this now.

It's been a journey. I'm delighted to still be on it.

Awesome

A lot of bs thought it’s probably just me can see it so no bother

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork

Great thread OP! A topic often on guys' minds but too embarrassing for some to address.

We've had it happen sometimes, both with guys meeting us and me (Mr.) meeting others..

If it happens to a guy, it's unfortunate but we totally get it and will always be accommodating as much as we can- there are other things we can do

and there's no shame at all in taking an ED pill, if desired.

For me, I've learned never to drink on meet, not even a half pint.. alcohol kills it for me, even solo at home with K so I'd have nary a chance of coaxing the guy to life with another woman/couple (which has happened

)

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By *electableicecream OP Man
over a year ago

The West

Awesome

A lot of bs thought it’s probably just me can see it so no bother "

How prosaic. Your contribution is, as always, a delicious counterpoint.

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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

Recently, I went out to meet a couple. She was full of all the things I like. Attitude, smile, body etc. I was able to chat away fine with the man.

We had fun and it was continuing. They were 420 friendly so partly out of polite respect I took some too. It killed my little man. I went flaccid... Which is not like me. I have found a little alcohol is OK, but not too much.

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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

I find condoms can sometimes cause a little deflation, but I rise again

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

A simple thing that kills libido is high blood pressure. 80/120 hr 60-90 is normal. 90/130 is first stage of hypertension. Life pressures and stress can kill libido too. Certain medication can cause it. Declining hormone levels. Hormonal imbalances. Sometimes you could be stressed but it makes cumming next to impossible.

Bottom line: both parties should do their part to attract the other party and turn them on and not put any undue pressure on them, make them feel at ease, have some laughs and enjoy the company even if nothing physical comes to light and the rest usually takes care of itself and your man hood and animal instinct Roar to life - poundtown time

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