FabSwingers.com forum: Fantasy verses desire

By *panishRebel OP Man
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

I posted this on the lounge just now. But as I like the Irish forum best. Here it is below. Just some stuff to get off my chest.

It's common for all kinds of people to talk about their fantasy's either in a sheepish or wistful way. They are something that they think they would like, but feel may never happen.

On a site like this, with a subset of different communities, fantasies are acted out. They are no longer fantasies. They have become activities of desire.

Two people in a bar might mention the fantasy of a threesome, or a couple swap, or a orgy or a hundred other sex related things.

Here we actively plan for them. I believe the very second a fantasy becomes attainable, it's no longer a fantasy. Plans are hatched every day on here. Fantasies become common place. They are repeated, copied, discussed, altered etc.

They are no longer fantasies, unattainable. They have become desires and activities part and parcel of our daily lives.

Desires fulfilled are best for me.

I have a fantasy to fly with powers like superman. That's never going to happen, no matter how many plans I make.

But I can go to a club tomorrow. I can arrange a meet today. I can participate in all the various activities of sex and comradery available and it's good. Provided mutual consent is given. Everyone is happy.

Give me desire over fantasy any day!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Yup

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I'm not sure I define fantasy the same way.

I have a couple of fantasties that were simply that before I joined fab. Now I feel like they are attainable but they remain in the realm of fantasy until they happen. Then I'll discover new fantasies I'm sure.

I might just like the word fantasy too. Sliding into the dm's of my fantasty woman to propose a 'desirable activity' just doesn't get my juices flowing!

Fantasy Vs reality on fab for me is realising that the image I have in my mind about what it will be like meeting someone I fancy may be built up around an image that I have constructed through fantasy rather than based on knowledge and connection with that real person.

It burst my bubble good the first time I met someone and that fire that was there in the messages and the lust that was there in the photos just didn't translate to a real human attraction in person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

Sorry I digressed into fantasy Vs reality there and that wasn't the topic!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *panishRebel OP Man
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

"I'm not sure I define fantasy the same way.

I might just like the word fantasy too. Sliding into the dm's of my fantasty woman to propose a 'desirable activity' just doesn't get my juices flowing!

It burst my bubble good the first time I met someone and that fire that was there in the messages and the lust that was there in the photos just didn't translate to a real human attraction in person."

Perhaps that bubble burst as you put it is the side of fantasy that is intoxicating. It contains hope, which when burst, leaves nothing.

So maybe defining fantasy as an activity only is only half what a fantasy is.

Maybe it's the activity and hope together?

When people mention their fantasies it is usually described in a scenario with an activity.

If for example the first couple you meet in a trio feels bad, the hope element is unfulfilled but the action of sex or at least the possibility of it is fulfilled.

In my mind (anyway) it keeps coming back to desire.

Maybe it's because I don't put to much expectation on something for a first time. I usually allow myself room to be pleasantly surprised.

Maybe not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have fantasies and desires. Honestly the fantasies I have will never come true and as for desires if its not reciprocated they won't go any further

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread