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Emotional Intelligence

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

The conversation on sapiosexuality is very interesting and emotional intelligence has come up in the conversation.

Unlike sapiosexual which defined as sexual attraction to high intelligence, there doesn't appear to be a word to describe sexual attraction to emotional intelligence.

What does emotional intelligence mean to you?

Is it a factor in sexual attraction for you?

I'm particularly interested to hear from men on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesnt make a difference to my choices on here or raise/decrease levels of attraction.

Different in real life though.

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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland


"The conversation on sapiosexuality is very interesting and emotional intelligence has come up in the conversation.

Unlike sapiosexual which defined as sexual attraction to high intelligence, there doesn't appear to be a word to describe sexual attraction to emotional intelligence.

What does emotional intelligence mean to you?

Is it a factor in sexual attraction for you?

I'm particularly interested to hear from men on this. "

For me it's definitely a factor. Maybe not in the middle of a party, or large group, but definitely for meeting up and enjoying myself. The most intellectual yet emotionaly cold, don't do it for me.

I like a good mix of everything to be honest. Everyone has less or more of intellect, emotional intelligence, and physical sex appeal.

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

Could you describe what emotional intelligence means to you?

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

As in all aspects of life, you are likely to encounter egocentrism in equal measure to emotional intelligence on this site, especially on the forums.

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West


"As in all aspects of life, you are likely to encounter egocentrism in equal measure to emotional intelligence on this site, especially on the forums.

"

Would you have an example of how you would assess emotional intelligence in a forum like this?

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By *oodOmensfor2Couple
over a year ago

Ennis

Some female input here..

A definition of emotional intelligence:

the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills

Going by this I would say it's absolutely vital in order to have an enjoyable experience when meeting up with others for some fun. Even more so if you add any kinks to it.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 07/09/23 13:35:34]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not just yourself. Understanding someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West


"I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not your yourself. Understand someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately."

Would you say that empathy and understanding correlate with an ability to respond in an emotionally intelligent manner?

Some folks are very sensitive and have a keen awareness of what's happening around them but wouldn't necessarily be able to translate that into action.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think most empaths and emotionally intelligent people are able to respond to others emotional states appropriately. Like if someone is sad they know they should respond with reassurance.

That's not to say that they will choose that path. A psychopath for example may understand the emotions of others, and know how they should react, but they just don't give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some female input here..

A definition of emotional intelligence:

the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills

Going by this I would say it's absolutely vital in order to have an enjoyable experience when meeting up with others for some fun. Even more so if you add any kinks to it."

^^^

It was first coined in the 60’s and now there’s a book out called emotional intelligence too. I agree it is very much needed in these times and can have a benefit when meeting up and having some fun too. Ensures that you consider your partner / partner’s enjoyment as well your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not your yourself. Understand someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately.

Would you say that empathy and understanding correlate with an ability to respond in an emotionally intelligent manner?

Some folks are very sensitive and have a keen awareness of what's happening around them but wouldn't necessarily be able to translate that into action."

Empathy is part of being emotional intelligent as per the post above “ There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills”. So it’s a combination of all of them. Self regulation is a big part too

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

Would that imply then that a person who is strong in one part of those five key factors, say empathy as the example given, but was weak in the other four, would be assessed as being lower on an EQ scale?

Or is it a case that combination of highs and lows can equal a person being perceived as 'emotionally intelligent'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would that imply then that a person who is strong in one part of those five key factors, say empathy as the example given, but was weak in the other four, would be assessed as being lower on an EQ scale?

Or is it a case that combination of highs and lows can equal a person being perceived as 'emotionally intelligent'?"

Not 100% sure, I would feel that an overall average would be taken with recommendations on the areas to focus more on developing them. It’s becoming used more now in the hiring for major companies. I suppose it’s like most things, wherever you focus attention will effect how you respond / feel

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By *arrot_in_a_boxCouple
over a year ago

kinda dublin

According to Artificial Intelligence:

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It involves being aware of your feelings, empathizing with others, and effectively communicating and resolving conflicts. It's like having a superpower for understanding and navigating emotions!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An emotionally intelligent person has the ability to put themselves in other people shoes ,can read body language and is not ignorant to the needs of others around him , in short he shows characteristics of altruism

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

And do you guys take the measure of a prospective playmate's emotional intelligence?

I'm asking because I have never consciously done this but I have had partners and female friends comment mine and other men's emotional intelligence. They notice .

Do men?

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

EQ is as critically important as IQ, IQ may be high but needs to be counter balanced with a intuitive and empathic approach to those around them.

May high functioning IQ people lack that e.g Steve Jobs.

Im a prospective fab partner, only until you meet in person can you assess the EQ level.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not just yourself. Understanding someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately"

Worth noting empathy is more about being able to sit beside someone where they are emotionally. To be able to hear them without judgment or pity and accept their reality is just that for them , regardless or understanding or agreeing .

I would go so far as to say part of empathy is knowing you can never understand how something affect someone even if you have experienced the exact same !

If sapiosexual is being attracted to intelligence... emotional intelligence is surely the highest form of all ! Would it not follow that emotional intelligence is the most attractive intelligence?

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not just yourself. Understanding someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately

Worth noting empathy is more about being able to sit beside someone where they are emotionally. To be able to hear them without judgment or pity and accept their reality is just that for them , regardless or understanding or agreeing .

I would go so far as to say part of empathy is knowing you can never understand how something affect someone even if you have experienced the exact same !

If sapiosexual is being attracted to intelligence... emotional intelligence is surely the highest form of all ! Would it not follow that emotional intelligence is the most attractive intelligence? "

I'm responding to, and agreeing with you for once. wtf

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 07/09/23 17:06:35]

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"And do you guys take the measure of a prospective playmate's emotional intelligence?

I'm asking because I have never consciously done this but I have had partners and female friends comment mine and other men's emotional intelligence. They notice .

Do men?"

Those with high emotional intelligence themselves, do

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"An emotionally intelligent person has the ability to put themselves in other people shoes ,can read body language and is not ignorant to the needs of others around him , in short he shows characteristics of altruism "

Not really ... some highly altruistic people ... rank low on certain emotional scales as the have a tendency to not recognize and/or support their own emotional needs ... thats a difficult area to even see as a altruistic person .

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 07/09/23 17:07:29]

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"I think emotional intelligence is about empathy. It's your ability to understand how others are feeling and not just yourself. Understanding someone's emotional state helps you know how to act appropriately

Worth noting empathy is more about being able to sit beside someone where they are emotionally. To be able to hear them without judgment or pity and accept their reality is just that for them , regardless or understanding or agreeing .

I would go so far as to say part of empathy is knowing you can never understand how something affect someone even if you have experienced the exact same !

If sapiosexual is being attracted to intelligence... emotional intelligence is surely the highest form of all ! Would it not follow that emotional intelligence is the most attractive intelligence?

I'm responding to, and agreeing with you for once. wtf "

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West


"EQ is as critically important as IQ, IQ may be high but needs to be counter balanced with a intuitive and empathic approach to those around them.

May high functioning IQ people lack that e.g Steve Jobs.

Im a prospective fab partner, only until you meet in person can you assess the EQ level.

"

I would wonder if either of them are critically important without context?

I also agree with biteme. smh

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

The biggest issue I've found with the measurements of emotional intelligence is the attempt to try and measure it intellectually!!!

Its far too subjective and open to interpretation based on the " emotional intelligence lense " of the person/people measuring.

Sometime we dont see the emotional intelligence in others because with look at it through our own perspective!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I react instinctively in most things I do including sexual activities and rarely analyse my own actions before during or after.

Engaging with other people generally I take my cue from their emotional vibes which is often why people I barely know are comfortable opening up to me.

Sexually, I know instinctively where and when to touch.

I am very empathetic, which can be a good and bad trait to have and even virtual hugs feel real.

I have been able to find that balance despite suffering from anhedonia which I won't try to explain here but needless to say it has a major impact on how I engage with people who don't understand it.

It's why I am so instinctive because I have to live in the moment.

In my experience not everyone, and I include myself in that, really understands emotional intelligence but what I have noticed over the years on fab is that a lot of people are lacking in emotional maturity.

Grown adults regressing to a foot stomping, dummy spitting approach to their engagement with others.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

I don't believe footstumping or don't be trying is emotional regression. More often it is a form of defense, Resulting from an unnoticed or unintentional emotional pain/attack the person has perceived/received.

I think this because I genuinely don't think your subconscious can regress on learnt empathy!

Idk but maybe our inability to react to such situations with what is classed as emotional maturity is actually a sign of subconscious emotional intelligence in the form of protection ?

Idk... what I do know is I've see some very emotionally intelligent people do some seemingly emotionally retarded things when they are in defense or coping mode !!!

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently, I've the emotional range of a teaspoon (sic), So that's me out.

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Read the question, gonna move onto the next one as I skipped these lectures

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"Read the question, gonna move onto the next one as I skipped these lectures "

Its all in your perception

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork


"As in all aspects of life, you are likely to encounter egocentrism in equal measure to emotional intelligence on this site, especially on the forums.

Would you have an example of how you would assess emotional intelligence in a forum like this?"

...............

It is almost impossible to measure EI on any online forum and more especially one specifically designed to facilitate "strangers" to meet and have sex. Most efforts by posters on this forum to show empathy are attempts to ingratiate themselves with others with the ultimate aim of having sex.

One would be quite naive to believe that all "empathy and understanding" shown by people engaged in the swinging scene is genuinely altruistic. Far more likely that it is motivated by a simple desire to "get a leg over".

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour. "

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

"

Have you come across people who you don’t deem emotionally intelligent but are described by others as being emotionally intelligent?

I think it’s very subjective and it depends on the type of interactions you have with a person and how you fit into their world.

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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

God my favourite type of human a sapiosexual who is emotionally intelligent...so many people are not emotionally intelligent unfortunately...

So many people think being sensitive and having feelings is a weakness when in fact it is a super strength! Embrace it!

B x

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

"

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

"

Does your wife know you’re on here?

We are on here together

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

Does your wife know you’re on here?

We are on here together "

I am not sure how your question is relevant to the topic on this thread or the point I was making regarding the possibility of identifying EI characteristics through posts on this forum but I fully empathize with your position and totally accept that you may have difficulty with my personal situation on here.

Perhaps the OP could use our interactions to gauge our levels of EQ.

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West


"

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

"

I don't know about quantifying but there are some genuinely nice and honest people on and I don't doubt that they are just being themselves. You've mentioned people's masks and agenda's before and I don't doubt that they exist but I would hope in the case of this thread we could keep the discussion healthy and positive.

And so yes I'm positive that a decent number of fab member's have emotional intelligence I could name a few because I admire them.

It comes with the territory.

Swinging, open marriages, polyamorous relationships, ethical non monogamy and the like all require mature, open and honest conversations about feelings and an evolving understanding of one's own needs and desires.

I might not be right in every case as Jaffa, yourself and others pointed out above that the subject is inherently subjective and people behave differently in different contexts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

Does your wife know you’re on here?

We are on here together

I am not sure how your question is relevant to the topic on this thread or the point I was making regarding the possibility of identifying EI characteristics through posts on this forum but I fully empathize with your position and totally accept that you may have difficulty with my personal situation on here.

Perhaps the OP could use our interactions to gauge our levels of EQ.

"

No difficulty with you or you’re personal situation

And we don’t need a mediator

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

Does your wife know you’re on here?

We are on here together

I am not sure how your question is relevant to the topic on this thread or the point I was making regarding the possibility of identifying EI characteristics through posts on this forum but I fully empathize with your position and totally accept that you may have difficulty with my personal situation on here.

Perhaps the OP could use our interactions to gauge our levels of EQ.

No difficulty with you or you’re personal situation

And we don’t need a mediator "

I am pleased to hear that as I may have gotten the wrong impression from the direct question and statement in your previous post.

It is always reassuring to know that I am engaging on here with like minded, non judgemental, people as most of those whom I have chatted with and met have proved to be.

Signing off on this one now as I want to concentrate on the rugby for the next few weeks.

ALLEZ LES VERTS!

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

"

I would go so far as to say ... even the premise of judging people in such a manner, the notion that ones view of E.I. is the "correct one " and the thought that one is in a good place of E.I. to judge others .... is in itself... is acting from the lower side of the emotional scale .

Is it possible that some are seeing themselves as so "E.I. " that in actual fact it manifests as being judgmental?

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"I’ve seen some apparently emotionally intelligent people do emotionally moronic things to people that don’t have a place in their plans. Do I think they’re sociopaths as a result? No. Do I think that even emotionally intelligent people can be thick as two short planks at times? Yup!

Surely, more than identifying emotional intelligence and other forms of intelligence as attractive traits, we are attracted to people who don’t display dickish behaviour.

If I was attracted to everyone who wasn't a dick that would be a lot of people!

Emotional and intellectual intelligence are genuinely distinctive personality traits and are gonna come into play as attraction factors with greater or lesser priority for everyone whether consciously or not.

My take so far:

Empathy is a key factor and perhaps one of the more easily identifiable traits in some people that are considered emotionally intelligent.

I don't think you need to be emotionally intelligent to see it in others

As for assessing if a person is emotionally intelligent in a forum. Maybe not in a lot of cases. It depends on their output but I reckon I'd take a guess at the usual suspects here in our little corner of the world and not be far off the mark..

In an ideal world it is perhaps the most attractive or highest form of intelligence but I don't think it's a priority factor for a lot of people when choosing play partner's. Particularly men.

Regarding assessing EI simply through someone's participation on the forums here would surely be a flawed exercise as participants hide their true identity and most likely their true motivation for being on the site. Therefore any psychological parsing of forum comments would probably lead to totally skewed results.

But it might be fun for you to take a guess at quantifying the EI of a sample of the usual suspects here. Their subsequent reactions might be very interesting. How many would let the mask slip, revert to type and reveal their true emotional character or who would be devious enough to continue their ongoing Fab persona charade.

Does your wife know you’re on here?

We are on here together

I am not sure how your question is relevant to the topic on this thread or the point I was making regarding the possibility of identifying EI characteristics through posts on this forum but I fully empathize with your position and totally accept that you may have difficulty with my personal situation on here.

Perhaps the OP could use our interactions to gauge our levels of EQ.

No difficulty with you or you’re personal situation

And we don’t need a mediator

I am pleased to hear that as I may have gotten the wrong impression from the direct question and statement in your previous post.

It is always reassuring to know that I am engaging on here with like minded, non judgemental, people as most of those whom I have chatted with and met have proved to be.

Signing off on this one now as I want to concentrate on the rugby for the next few weeks.

ALLEZ LES VERTS!

"

Thats a no then ?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Just listened to a conversation on the radio regarding footballers and aand the use of data and stats to determine if a player could be a good fit at a club.

On top of that players are often assessed on emotional intelligence to determine if they are a team player and one who will be fully invested in the club and also if they will blend in with others around them.

It was surprising to hear how many transfers have been halted because of a perceived lack of emotional intelligence in certain players.

Probably not surprising then that players who have been having issues or causing them have often been flagged as lacking in emotional intelligence prior to signing them but the club took a chance based on footballing skills alone.

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By *angtasticallyMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

Were all emotional being some are tune in others are just simply not most are full of ego proud etc..

Keep your intelligence over your emotions...ITS EASY TO TALK EMOTIONS WHEN YOU IN THE COMFORT ZONE

Being a coach in a combat sports emotions are a big thing and tapping into to a fighter emotional state is important weather male are female I wouldn't say an empathy life has thought me lots about feelings and emotions and there for a reason its important they don't over rule my intelligence

But also to be very thoughtful of how others may feel to!!! just cause it feel right to me it may not feel right to others so that were communicating feelings is important embrace your being stop be a doer..

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Meh

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By *electableicecream OP   Man
over a year ago

The West

Thank you everyone for your very thought provoking contributions to this discussion.

It is always a pleasure to learn something new and doubly so to see varying points of view come together in such a civilised discourse.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Thank you everyone for your very thought provoking contributions to this discussion.

It is always a pleasure to learn something new and doubly so to see varying points of view come together in such a civilised discourse."

You're welcome.

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