FabSwingers.com forum: The Catch 22....

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

So I'm in a bit of a pickle right which has been brought to my attention by a wonderful fellow fabber.

So I guess it boils down to a verification status. I know I have just one but instead of it being a negative reflection I guess it's more reflective of how much I have actually been active on here. We all go through our lives with all type of shits going on so it's not always possible to devote time to fab.

Often I feel like I am drowning in the sea of dick that is fabs ratio of men to women....that's where the "catch 22" is.

I always make an effort and send a polite mail with a face pic & I try to inject a little bit of my witty side as a way I guess to stand out from the crowd.

Apparently more often than not ladies would receive disrespectful mails on here basically equating to their reason to be here as some kind of "fuckdoll".

Here's the catch 22 though, some women won't meet guys who aren't well verified. Apparently even though I did meet "fab royalty" in Ms Lolly in a social sense to many ladies social meets don't really hold much weight & they don't seem to want to take a "chance" on a newbie.

It's in a sense akin to approaching the door of a bar & having the bouncer look you up & down & then say "sorry not tonight pal, regulars only"

Your then left thinking..."sure how the fuck can I become a 'regular' if I can't even get in the door"

Anyhow I'm sure someone is gonna drop by and say "this type of post has been posted loads of times on here" like some Forum Police

Anyhow, was just pondering this just now.

Let's discuss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Build on the impetus of that social meet. Go to a few organised events or smaller group socials. Talk to people. It's the easiest way to be "well verified" and adfords people the chance to get to know you.

As far as being "sex meet verified" not everyone is swayed by the number of people you've fucked, be that too little or too many.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"Build on the impetus of that social meet. Go to a few organised events or smaller group socials. Talk to people. It's the easiest way to be "well verified" and adfords people the chance to get to know you.

As far as being "sex meet verified" not everyone is swayed by the number of people you've fucked, be that too little or too many. "

Cheers for the reply, feedback & tips

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amsevenMan
over a year ago

cork

I hear ya bud. Had a meet when I signed up. Then was hardly on for 2 years cos of covid. So then when I came back I had 3 Yr old profile with 1 verification. That is a red flag to most I reckon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I know it's probably not your intention but threads like these always seem to involve some form of virtue signalling where guys will say they understand the shit that women have to deal with but they aren't like all those other guys.

Not all women are inundated with messages and not all men are dicks.

Some guys try to stand out from the crowd by being the loudest one in the room which will attract some women while others have more in common with the quiet one in the corner.

There's no one size fits all because only you know who you are attracted to and what your strengths are.

Don't rely on messages alone and don't try to tick every box you see.

Don't focus on numbers because unless you are talking to every woman on here as part of a collective, numbers are irrelevant.

It's all down to expectation as well which more often than not requires patience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"I hear ya bud. Had a meet when I signed up. Then was hardly on for 2 years cos of covid. So then when I came back I had 3 Yr old profile with 1 verification. That is a red flag to most I reckon"

Yeah I'd kinda be the same in so far as I've been on here over a year but wasn't actually on here for the most part of it. Just dipping in and out from time to time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hin_chillinWoman
over a year ago

secret location Cork

I tend to decide if I’ll meet someone based on how we get on. I don’t take any notice of veris and don’t give/receive them for every meet I’ve had.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty MilfCouple
over a year ago

Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland

Try to attend meet and greet for newbies to helps to get yourself noticed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should have also said attraction and luck play a huge part.

You could be doing everything "right" but the attraction isn't there.

You could be doing everything "right" but the timing is wrong

Neither of these things are within your control

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"I know it's probably not your intention but threads like these always seem to involve some form of virtue signalling where guys will say they understand the shit that women have to deal with but they aren't like all those other guys.

Not all women are inundated with messages and not all men are dicks.

Some guys try to stand out from the crowd by being the loudest one in the room which will attract some women while others have more in common with the quiet one in the corner.

There's no one size fits all because only you know who you are attracted to and what your strengths are.

Don't rely on messages alone and don't try to tick every box you see.

Don't focus on numbers because unless you are talking to every woman on here as part of a collective, numbers are irrelevant.

It's all down to expectation as well which more often than not requires patience. "

Indeed you are correct, that's not my intention at all really it's just moreso to open up a discussion about the predicament guys on here find they are facing such is the nature of things here I guess.

I can certainly see though how it may read as super virtuous but I suppose I'm just kinda highlighting that whilst I don't ever feel any sense of entitlement with regards receiving a reply it's just a bit of a head melt when you make an effort and are polite and kind. I mean after all I've had rejection before and accepted it with grace and wished them well.

Cheers for the reply & insight pal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razySexyCoolCorkWoman
over a year ago

Cork

"I tend to decide if I’ll meet someone based on how we get on. I don’t take any notice of veris and don’t give/receive them for every meet I’ve had.

Yeah I agree with this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 18/08/23 17:28:30]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Get yourself to a big social and use it as an opportunity to meet someone and convince them that you're someone they want to fuck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"I tend to decide if I’ll meet someone based on how we get on. I don’t take any notice of veris and don’t give/receive them for every meet I’ve had.

Yeah see I'm kind of the same like, obviously if there is an initial attraction I am intrigued to learn more through message and then if the vibe is right it's safe to say I'd like to meet with the person like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A veri really just shows you are real. It does guarantee the opening of doors or legs. As for the number game on here you can't win if you have too many it goes against or you have none or one it goes against ya.

Get to a social or two and see how you get in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"Try to attend meet and greet for newbies to helps to get yourself noticed "

Yeah I've thought about this but I have my kid most weekends so it's difficult to get to them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"I should have also said attraction and luck play a huge part.

You could be doing everything "right" but the attraction isn't there.

You could be doing everything "right" but the timing is wrong

Neither of these things are within your control"

This is a very good and fair point to make.

Thankfully I have been blessed with a level of self awareness to know that I'm not everyone's cup of tea so if a girl says she ain't interested like that it's all good to me & I don't take it to heart

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrobbinHood OP Man
over a year ago

ceatharlach

"A veri really just shows you are real. It does guarantee the opening of doors or legs. As for the number game on here you can't win if you have too many it goes against or you have none or one it goes against ya.

Get to a social or two and see how you get in. "

Yeah that's the thing though I reckon the lower your veri's combined with the amount of time it has been since you signed up can indeed be something that would sway a womans interest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Go back over your opening post and read what you've writtwn about your efforts up to now to attract the ladies.

You've done one thing and that is to private message ladies. That's probably the most difficult way to stand out.

The site offers far more features than the pm route so i'd suggest exploring those other features.

Also, amongst the 'drowning sea of guys' is a small cohort of guys who attend all the socials and are 'drowning in vagina' because they meet people face to face and build trust much faster than online.

I'd advise you to explore that avenue as it really works. Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exerciseMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Potentially “drowning in vagina” is a risk I am willing to take - socials it is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hin_chillinWoman
over a year ago

secret location Cork

"I tend to decide if I’ll meet someone based on how we get on. I don’t take any notice of veris and don’t give/receive them for every meet I’ve had.

Yeah exactly, you either click with someone or you don’t, whether or not they’re verified doesn’t change that."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Potentially “drowning in vagina” is a risk I am willing to take - socials it is. "

They do come up for air the odd time, not too often though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Potentially “drowning in vagina” is a risk I am willing to take - socials it is. "

Wow if only us women attending socials were drowning in cock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exerciseMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Potentially “drowning in vagina” is a risk I am willing to take - socials it is.

They do come up for air the odd time, not too often though

‘The deepest breath’ the stakes are high but it’s all about risk and reward.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"Potentially “drowning in vagina” is a risk I am willing to take - socials it is.

Wow if only us women attending socials were drowning in cock "

If all the guys who were invited to socials actually had the balls to show up, we would be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arrot_in_a_boxCouple
over a year ago

kinda dublin

Its very easy to get verified and get meets here to be honest. You just need to follow the 2 golden rules.

Rule #1: Be attractive.

Rule #2: Don't be unattractive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its very easy to get verified and get meets here to be honest. You just need to follow the 2 golden rules.

Rule #1: Be attractive.

Rule #2: Don't be unattractive "

Don’t be a Kevin is it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its very easy to get verified and get meets here to be honest. You just need to follow the 2 golden rules.

Rule #1: Be attractive.

Rule #2: Don't be unattractive

Don’t be a Kevin is it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago

Dublin west

Its never been easier to get to a social than it has been recently. There are 2 on this Sunday now I see on the forums.

Yes you may have to travel a bit but they are coffee socials so it's a great way to meet people face to face.

Just one golden rule, if you say you are going turn up.

Nothing worse than getting a reputation for someone that wont show up. You wont get a second chance..

The last few I have been to have had more women and couples at them than guys because the guys didn't show up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poster above is spot on. If you want to change your fortunes you have to be proactive. Going down the socials route is the easiest way, for want of a better phrase, to get your name and face out there. And there are a multitude of opportunities with socials of all types the length & breadth of the country.

Otherwise you accept the status quo and keep plugging away til that magic combination of attraction & availability pays off. And it certainly can do, but it requires patience, perseverance, and a certain acceptance that it's going to be down to the luck of the draw.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"The poster above is spot on. If you want to change your fortunes you have to be proactive. Going down the socials route is the easiest way, for want of a better phrase, to get your name and face out there. And there are a multitude of opportunities with socials of all types the length & breadth of the country.

Couldn't have put it better myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

OP you get out of the scene the effort you put in. As posters have said above there are so many events to be attended these days there's no excuse not to be verified.

The successful single men on here attend events, get chatting to people and have a lot of fun! Group socials are the best way to meet people for future adventures and they are a lot of fun. There are midweek socials from time to time so you aren't confined to weekends.

Best of luck

B x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread