FabSwingers.com forum: The Alternate Auction

By *affa31 OP Woman
over a year ago

Galway

I can’t deal with counting posts today so instead, post your best terrible jokes and the winner wins….

T&C apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t deal with counting posts today so instead, post your best terrible jokes and the winner wins….

T&C apply "

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal?

Clint makes your day.

The other makes your hole weak.

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By *ildarekinkstersCouple
over a year ago

kinkytown

I've managed to stop my chocolate, marshmallow and nut addiction. It's been a rocky road.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

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By *apri 555Man
over a year ago

wexford or Dublin

What wobbles in the sky ???

A jellycopter

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By *issMollyXXXWoman
over a year ago

Limerick

Why did Mr Tayto have a mobile phone?

In case Johnny Onion rings!

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I was watching a movie with my son last night when a sex scene came on.

"Alright son, it's about time you went to bed", I said.

"But Dad I'm 18", he protested.

"I don't care", I said. "You're not watching me having a wank

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By *rystalsswingCouple
over a year ago

Galway

Hiw does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

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By *imonlebangMan
over a year ago

Casa Lebang Bang

Did you hear about the Magic Tractor.....turned in to a field

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

A man goes to confession after a long absence.

He sits in the booth, looks around & says to the Priest, ''The confessional has really changed father. I don't remember Guinness on tap and gay porn mags in the booths."

The Priest said, "That's because you're in my fuckin seat!''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.

I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: What did the papa tomato say to the baby tomato?

A: “Hurry and ketchup!”

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Took a dump late on Sunday night that lasted through til Monday morning. Same shit, different day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where would you find a dog with no legs....

Right where you left him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the villagers call Postman Pat when he retired ?

Pat

Did you here about the magic tractor??

It turned into a field.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the sexy egg ?

It ran around with its yolk hanging out.

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By *anther PurrrsWoman
over a year ago

the Shadows Purrring or Roaring

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow job

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?

Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram!

Son: Thanks dad

Dad: No problem Alan

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By *un_guy_69Man
over a year ago

Limerick Tipp border

What Don you call a fly with no wings?

A walk....

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By *mmortalValkyrieWoman
over a year ago

From a galaxy far far away

Why did the Zombie cross the road?

To get to the secondhand shop...

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By *affa31 OP Woman
over a year ago

Galway

These are giving me life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that you can't run in campsites?

You can only ran.

Because it's past tents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A group of friars in Scotland were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop in town to raise funds. Since everyone in town felt obliged to buy flowers from the men of God, the other local florists thought the competition was unfair. One by one the rival florists visited the friars, and begged and pleaded with them to close up their shop, but the friars ignored each and every one of them. In desperation, the local florists decided to hired Hugh MacTaggart (the roughest and most vicious thug in town) to "persuade" the friars to close. Hugh promptly beat up the friars and trashed their store, threatening to return again if they didn't close up shop, which they immediately did. And the moral fo the story is...

...

Only Hugh can prevent florist friars

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By *amsevenMan
over a year ago

cork

What's green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you?

A snooker table

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed. "Haha. That's not going to help!"

"Sure it does," I said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A brown stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky?

A brown stick"

What's blue and sticky?

...

A brown stick holding its breath

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By *enkoMan
over a year ago

Walkinstown

Did you hear about the little man who ran between a woman legs?.

He got a box in the face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two ducks from Belfast were walking down the street...

"Quack quack" one said to the other.

"Goin as fucking quack as I can hi"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daddy What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

Well lovely I aint never heard an En zyme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a nurse and a helicopter??

Not everyone has been up on a helicopter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend got a ban for a reply it's only a bit of fun folks .. we are all adults .. banter that's all it is

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By *affa31 OP Woman
over a year ago

Galway

Taking pot shots at people is more than banter

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By *affa31 OP Woman
over a year ago

Galway

There’s some feckin horrendous jokes on here and I’ve laughed at almost every one of them

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By *cuk4funCouple
over a year ago

city centre

What would you find down the toilet of the Star ship Enterprise...the Captains log

I'll get my coat ...

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By *leasurer77Man
over a year ago

Athlone

3 horny guys in a bed. What's the middle guy pretending to be doing??

Skiing!!

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

A masochist asks a sadist, "Please hurt me."

"No," replies the sadist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to be stuck in the middle .. if you have a problem .. don't tell me.. please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!"

I need spock .. I'm like a agony aunt here ..

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By *leasurer77Man
over a year ago

Athlone

"I seem to be stuck in the middle .. if you have a problem .. don't tell me.. please

I'd happily be "stuck in the middle with you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A blind fella walks past the fishmongers.

"Morning ladies"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

I need spock .. I'm like a agony aunt here .. "

Lou why don’t you join me and the A team, we’ll make a quiche...

I really love it when a flan comes together...

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors’’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors’’"

I laughed at this way more than was probably necessary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy comes home and hands his wife a bunch of flowers.

"Suppose I'll have to open my legs now?"

"No, a vase will do the job"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

I need spock .. I'm like a agony aunt here ..

Lou why don’t you join me and the A team, we’ll make a quiche...

I really love it when a flan comes together...

It's OK.. I'm doing OK on my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/23 22:48:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to be stuck in the middle .. if you have a problem .. don't tell me.. please

Lou that’s a terrible joke, op I think we’ve found the winner here! A bit of girl on girl action perhaps. I’m feeling a strange stirring in my Lou’s, it’s like something I’ve never felt before.

Apologies I meant loins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HA HA! I'm the bus driver!"

Oh, wait...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodnight all x

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By *altsman88Man
over a year ago

athlone

"I can’t deal with counting posts today so instead, post your best terrible jokes and the winner wins….

T&C apply "

Someone found a loophole in the auction algorithms lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Goodnight all x"

Night Lou.

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By *ural delightMan
over a year ago

Enniskillen

What's black and white and red all over.

Zebra with sunburn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The greatest thing about Fab is that everyone is so accurate and honest about their appearance and abilities, absolutely no hassle mails or unwanted pics or messages sent or received.

That's my final one for now.

Any winners yet ???

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By *llthewaysMan
over a year ago

City centre/Naas

What is 6.9?

A good time ruined by a period.

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By *affa31 OP Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"What is 6.9?

A good time ruined by a period.

You’re hitting too close to home with that one today

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By *llthewaysMan
over a year ago

City centre/Naas

"What is 6.9?

A good time ruined by a period.

You’re hitting too close to home with that one today

Oh you have my sympathies.

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By *orny unicornsCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall....

Dam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll have to declare myself out when it comes to the prize. Though it is with great sadness. It appears I’ve broken the terms and conditions of the op’s previous threads and this one by posting back to back. Silly me, good luck to the rest of you.

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By *arrot_in_a_boxCouple
over a year ago

kinda dublin

I'm able to suck my period blood back into my vagina!!

Allow me to demenstruate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yuck lol

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