FabSwingers.com forum: Friendship

By *astello OP Woman
over a year ago

Far far away

Was having this conversation with someone recently.

Is it harder to make friends as you get older?

Have you lots of acquaintances and few friends?

How do you make friends now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A topic I have discussed and pondered on recently

My own experience -

Yes

I don't bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is, people tend to get less open and set in their ways as they get older, plus have less free time to keep friendships going.

I've made a distinction for a long time between real friends (people you trust and can confide in) and the rest of the human race, the former are rare and precious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite the opposite for me, I actually made more friends as I've got older, but I've also become alot more social to so coming out of my shell has helped, but I've lost alot of my friends tho, I guess you know who are your real friends are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't make any effort now to make friends, don't have the time or the enthusiasm. Instead I concentrate on maintaining the good friendships I already have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMO,

As you can see from the comments so far the general consensus is yes, however I do feel that it has more to do with society and our expectations. Scientific research provides evidence that We have a negative bias mentality in our brains therefore perhaps we are a bit pessimistic about others and their motives etc.

On fab here it is difficult to make friends I’d agree however in the “normal world “ whatever that is lol I don’t find it difficult if I want to make friends. So I think it depends on each individual and the want or need and the effort put in will determine how difficult it is.

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By *astello OP Woman
over a year ago

Far far away

Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

"
there's a lot of talk of 'friends' here

Most are nothing but acquaintances

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I have no old school friends because the friendship was always without fail one way and I cut all ties as soon as I realised that.

Over the years I've had lots of colleagues but no close friends to speak of.

In contrast to most on here my closest and most trustworthy friends are all people I've only known in the last 10 years.

I don't go out of my way to add to my small circle but I find it much easier to make new lasting friendships now than I ever did.

Partly because they have to work at it and I'm more cynical now than ever before.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

For me strangely enough the first man I could honestly call a close friend was someone I met at a fab social and I trust him to always be there for me when needed just as I am for him. The same can be said for a woman I met around the same time. Neither are on the site anymore.

My fab bestie is exactly that off site as well and we are always there for each other in times of crisis.

The word friend is often used in a very loose sense on here though.

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By *ildarekinkstersCouple
over a year ago

kinkytown

I found making friends difficult when I was younger for reasons I'm only now beginning to understand now as I get to 40. I have maybe two friends from my school days I'd still talk to regularly. Find it extremely difficult now to make friends if near impossible.

Jay

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

Yes

I don't know ... unless you play gaa, work with others or go out ... its no so easy imo

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By *alvin.Man
over a year ago

Cork/Dublin

"Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

there's a lot of talk of 'friends' here

Most are nothing but acquaintances"

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

It’s easy , but u have to put a bit of effort in

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

I have what I would call "life stage friends".

Because I've moved around a lot from a very young age until I got married (late enough in life), I just didn't have friends who stuck with me. Divorce then saw to "friends" going different ways.

I have my support network and would like to think that I'd be there for those who are there for me, in the good times and the bad times.

But making new friends is difficult for me for a number of reasons - I'm a bit of a recluse for a start, I work for myself (no colleagues) and my commitment to my children with additional needs are my absolute priority. Unfortunately my setup doesn't give me a huge amount of time or flexibility to find or nurture new friendships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s easy , but u have to put a bit of effort in "

Yep I agree

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

there's a lot of talk of 'friends' here

Most are nothing but acquaintances"

Mere ships passing in the night sometimes until a storm blows in and blows you apart from each other

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By *mmakWoman
over a year ago

Town

I’ve made new friends in last year due to work thankfully, some of us are even planning a weekend away to a concert in Belfast later in the year.

Some of my friends I’ve had for years I bearly see them and they are starting to flake out of everything last minute thats been organised for a while. Always using crap excuses.

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By *an I Kiss youMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

Yes

Depends on: the country I am in, the local culture and How much of the Island or village mentally is settled in the heads of the inhabitants. It varies dramatically from one country to another.

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By *ohn MacDMan
over a year ago

cork

I think life gets busy

For me - I have loads of friends but work limits my time and then some olds friends are at different stages of their life - sometimes it’s hard to stay connected .

But yeah you sometimes have to make the effort but also forgive them and yourself, you don’t always knows what going on!

Don’t be afraid to make new friends !

My chat is open

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

I think the definition of friend is important here ... for me I have people I trust , get on with, engage with around different areas of life ... yet I wouldn't call them as "friends " . For me friends are the ones you share everything with and are loyal to no matter the weather ... and you know yoh will get the same back... these are difficult to meet as I age .

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nope not hard just difficult to keep up with them all

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

It's harder because priorities change as people get older. Marriage, kids, careers, less energy etc all come into play. If someone wants more friends in their life or things to do, that should be very possible though. Might need to be more proactive about it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, I think I'm just getting more annoyed by people as I get older. Probably have like 10 people is call friends. I wouldn't

consider anyone I went to school with a friend anymore.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

I always advise people to live their lives by the precept "be your own best friend". "Friends" are perhaps better described as either close or passing acquaintances that may or may not be relied on in times of crisis depending on their own circumstances at any given time.

"Friendships" can be fickle but self reliance will always serve you well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's damn hard to make friends as you get older. And more so as a man, I'd say.

I throw myself into social events or clubs that I'd normally not go to.

I have very few friends, but I treasure them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still making new friends.

Meetup.com is great for finding new groups of people that are open to making friends.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"Think fab friends and other friends are very different categories.

Whilst fab friends may know more intimate details, I fount I'd cá them in times of crises.

We have made some amazing fab friends over the years who are always there no matter how big is the crisis and whom we also support when they need it.

A lot of people isolate themselves from friendships when they have small kids and next thing you know your kid is 16 and have a life of their own while you find yourself in quite a lonely spot.

Swinging community can and does provide a lot of people some escape from every day life, something to look forward to and a chance to meet other like minded people. Perfect combo to make new friendships if you ask me.

Missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've friends that I'd walk straight off a cliff for, whether they're now people I see daily or annually.

The great part about the ones I see rarely are how it takes zero time to reconnect and talk like we've not been out of touch at all(we're all brutal at keeping up with each others lives).

I do think this has had a slight negative impact on making new friends though, like I've too much invested in existing bonds to form new ones to the same degree

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