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Married and discreet

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By *urious 999 OP   Man
over a year ago

kerry

So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?

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By *arryWhiteXxxMan
over a year ago

Midleton

How did he find out?

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

Be honest with your wife about who you are and your needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As you do

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

To confess is easy advice given from the position of being a couple on here.

Swing couples can count themselves very lucky indeed to enjoy a full sex life at home and also be able to enjoy playing with others......best of both worlds.

Not so easy for someone in the OP's position where if they hadn't declared their bi side before they were married they run the likely risk of being told they were not the person their spouse thought they were and being kicked out of home losing whatever is left of their marriage and normal contact with their kids.

IMHO an ounce of discretion is probably worth a ton of confession in this case.

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By *rishguy086Man
over a year ago

Limerick


"To confess is easy advice given from the position of being a couple on here.

Swing couples can count themselves very lucky indeed to enjoy a full sex life at home and also be able to enjoy playing with others......best of both worlds.

Not so easy for someone in the OP's position where if they hadn't declared their bi side before they were married they run the likely risk of being told they were not the person their spouse thought they were and being kicked out of home losing whatever is left of their marriage and normal contact with their kids.

IMHO an ounce of discretion is probably worth a ton of confession in this case.

"

Yeah, I'd agree. No way I'd tell her and risk lossing your family. Whatever about sitting her down and having a conversation about sexual needs and stuff but don't ever tell her about your meets with guys, in my opinion, she would never understand and you would be out of hers and your kids lives in days.

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By *arryWhiteXxxMan
over a year ago

Midleton


"To confess is easy advice given from the position of being a couple on here.

Swing couples can count themselves very lucky indeed to enjoy a full sex life at home and also be able to enjoy playing with others......best of both worlds.

Not so easy for someone in the OP's position where if they hadn't declared their bi side before they were married they run the likely risk of being told they were not the person their spouse thought they were and being kicked out of home losing whatever is left of their marriage and normal contact with their kids.

IMHO an ounce of discretion is probably worth a ton of confession in this case.

Yeah, I'd agree. No way I'd tell her and risk lossing your family. Whatever about sitting her down and having a conversation about sexual needs and stuff but don't ever tell her about your meets with guys, in my opinion, she would never understand and you would be out of hers and your kids lives in days."

I concur, in a lot of cases a confession of this sort would be just too much for the other person to accept. Some things we simply have to take to the grave with us.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

If he's planning to take it to the grave that's one thing. If he's planning to continue fucking men on the side and keep betraying her going forward then she deserves better than that.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork


"If he's planning to take it to the grave that's one thing. If he's planning to continue fucking men on the side and keep betraying her going forward then she deserves better than that."

I'm not sure the OP'S situation is really all that different from a couple who also meet solo.

If one part of a couple decided they no longer want to participate in the swing lifestyle does that mean that the other part of the couple has to also give up meeting solo.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"If he's planning to take it to the grave that's one thing. If he's planning to continue fucking men on the side and keep betraying her going forward then she deserves better than that.

I'm not sure the OP'S situation is really all that different from a couple who also meet solo.

If one part of a couple decided they no longer want to participate in the swing lifestyle does that mean that the other part of the couple has to also give up meeting solo.

"

It's all about the partners consent. If this guy (or a swinging couple meeting solo) had consent of their significant other then play on.. no harm done. If either are fucking about behind their partners back then it's unacceptable. That's my opinion anyway.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.


"To confess is easy advice given from the position of being a couple on here.

Swing couples can count themselves very lucky indeed to enjoy a full sex life at home and also be able to enjoy playing with others......best of both worlds.

Not so easy for someone in the OP's position where if they hadn't declared their bi side before they were married they run the likely risk of being told they were not the person their spouse thought they were and being kicked out of home losing whatever is left of their marriage and normal contact with their kids.

IMHO an ounce of discretion is probably worth a ton of confession in this case.

Yeah, I'd agree. No way I'd tell her and risk lossing your family. Whatever about sitting her down and having a conversation about sexual needs and stuff but don't ever tell her about your meets with guys, in my opinion, she would never understand and you would be out of hers and your kids lives in days."

Sound advice. Some things are best left unsaid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

Amd has this guy said he's going to out you? Take a step back from your sexual needs and think what damage would be done to your marriage if your wife found put you had cheated?

If roles were swapped and your wife wasn't getting it at home and was cheating how would you feel?

Have you discussed your sexual needs? Has she experienced something previous that she doesn't want sex now? Is she menopausal? Why not sit her down a d even just tackle the lack of sex life at home

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By *andR2019Couple
over a year ago

Nunya


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

Firstly I would have been more open with my partner, making sure there was nothing that could change their mind, ask if they would be upset by finding a partner to play with etc before I went and done anything.

Now you’ve got a potential mess, I personally would come clean as if you love your partner it’s the right thing to do and explain the situation. After that if this guy is seriously threatening to out you or seek arrangements wether that be further sexual encounters or money through duress, seek legal advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To confess is easy advice given from the position of being a couple on here.

Swing couples can count themselves very lucky indeed to enjoy a full sex life at home and also be able to enjoy playing with others......best of both worlds.

Not so easy for someone in the OP's position where if they hadn't declared their bi side before they were married they run the likely risk of being told they were not the person their spouse thought they were and being kicked out of home losing whatever is left of their marriage and normal contact with their kids.

IMHO an ounce of discretion is probably worth a ton of confession in this case.

Yeah, I'd agree. No way I'd tell her and risk lossing your family. Whatever about sitting her down and having a conversation about sexual needs and stuff but don't ever tell her about your meets with guys, in my opinion, she would never understand and you would be out of hers and your kids lives in days."

If I was you I would stop all fun outside your marriage and take time out to think about what you are doing, why you are doing it, the repercussions if you are discovered and would it be it worth it!

A lot of women, depending on their age and upbringing, would find cheating with a man worse than cheating with a woman. Although it would hurt them either way.

No one can tell you how to live your life. We all have our reasons for being on here and I am not judging anyone no one has that right tbh. Just be aware that your family have feelings too.

Hope you get things sorted.

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By *he MickMan
over a year ago

southside


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

In my experience when my wife said that it turned out she just no longer wanted sex with me . We are now both much happier and have met other partners since we split and she is having sex with the guys she has met so maybe just maybe that she feels trapped in here circumstances and a clear the air talk could solve everything. Keep things amicably and you may both plus kids have a much better life .

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Ffs...poor woman

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

How did they find out where you work ?

Firstly your wife is the innocent party here....

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By *rAndMrsRightCouple
over a year ago

newtownabbey

I would rather be dumped like a hot potato than cheated on..

Was cheated on once - worst fucking thing that ever happened to me. The sense of betrayal, breaking of my trust and the hurt that it caused will be with me forever and has been affecting relationships after that.

At least give your woman a chance to choose weather she wants to stay or build a new life with someone who won't cheat.

Missus

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By *immyK67Couple
over a year ago

Dublin


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

Take time out from everything, decide what you wanna do with your life going forward. You cannot change the past so IMO if you tell her now you both with spend the rest of your lives living there. What you are doing is wrong but equally if what you are saying is true she is not been a loving wife either. You need to get to the root cause of her behaviour first and ask yourself if that is fixed would you be happy? If the answer is no you need to end the relationship as if you dont it will come to an end anyway and most likely on the worst possible terms ...hope this helps

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Thé options involve a number of shit sandwiches

We can dress them up with lettuce and tomatoes but that won’t change what they are

The fantasy is ; tell the truth . You can then split amicably or she can give you her blessing

The reality is

You can not cheat , stay sexless , slowly die inside

Tell her the truth . she is likely to want to divorce you . The financial and Custody hell to follow is not for the faint hearted

Or carry on cheating ; and she might find out , and the above will be even worse with the betrayal aspect

Or carry on cheating and see if you can get away with it , and live with the guilt and the hope that she won’t find out, and the worry about giving her STIs if you two still have sex rarely

Whatever you do , do what works best in your own situation . Don’t do what some randoms on the Internet who don’t know your situation tell you to do . Poor woman absolutely , but also poor man whose options are the above . It’s complex , and difficult , and there aren’t some totally good people and some totally bad people in this .

Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m married to a wonderful woman and have wonderful kids,but unfortunately she gave up on sex saying she doesn’t like it.

So wat to I do ? Start fucking guys as you do,and it’s lovely and intimate and intense I love it,however I like to be discrete one of the guys knows where I work and that’s making me feel uncomfortable wat will I do?"

You are not going to find your answer here. You need to ask yourself what you want more, As I think you realise that you can't have both. If you think someone is going to out you,It would be better coming from you than a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ll only be judged here by very judgey people who assumedly live perfect lives and never put a foot out of line, have a good think about possible consequences and go from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You’ll only be judged here by very judgey people who assumedly live perfect lives and never put a foot out of line, have a good think about possible consequences and go from there. "

Who was he judged by? He asked for opinions

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By *andR2019Couple
over a year ago

Nunya


"You’ll only be judged here by very judgey people who assumedly live perfect lives and never put a foot out of line, have a good think about possible consequences and go from there. "

No one is judging at all, he’s asked for opinions and that is what he has been given our opinions. He doesn’t need to read them, take note or act upon them.

No one is perfect and there is no need to throw shade at anyone either.

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