FabSwingers.com forum: Anybody else feel so jaded...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...from dating, or the like?

I am normally quite positive, when it comes to this, but I just can't seem to shake how disheartened I feel at the moment.

It is a painful, mostly monotonous experience. And, while I enjoy getting to know people, I am tired of that disappointed feeling.

I know that the best thing I can do right now is take a break, which I am already doing. And, I also know that there is decent folk in the dating world - it just seems that they are lost in a sea of those who misrepresent themselves and those who don't know what they want.

Anyway, maybe others feel similarly, or have some advice to impart.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ames CoughlanMan
over a year ago

Cahir

I have 3 lady friends who are in there 40's. They are just fed up of it all. Think guys not helping themselves. The act of conversation and wooing is gone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have 3 lady friends who are in there 40's. They are just fed up of it all. Think guys not helping themselves. The act of conversation and wooing is gone."

I have friends who feel the same. Mostly female, but the odd male. Yeah, something about online dating is soul destroying.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommy 999Man
over a year ago

dublin

"I have 3 lady friends who are in there 40's. They are just fed up of it all. Think guys not helping themselves. The act of conversation and wooing is gone.

I have friends who feel the same. Mostly female, but the odd male. Yeah, something about online dating is soul destroying. "

This site isnt about dating x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otownkid1967Man
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Keep your head up OP and don't lose heart. Yes it's hard to meet the right one these days but he/ she is out there somewhere.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago

Dublin west

Ah it's just a pool of ghosting, filtered pics, instant decisions and swiping left, people not turning up or turning up really late, not being as single as they say they are, or rocking up looking 10 years older in reality than in their pics, or are just more interested in mindless scrolling on phones than having a conversation with someone....

So I feel your pain. It's not great from the lads side either sometimes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does seem like a depressing scene alright, what about the good old-fashioned way of meeting through friends and shared interests?

Admittedly we met online but on a sex site

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

I've noticed with my own nieces and nephews that they have little interest in relationships, never-mind settling down. I think online dating has spoiled it to an extent.

Agree with Casey above, maybe stop looking online and focus on your own area and the people you interact with there. Take opportunities to do stuff with friends and just enjoy yourself. Try not to focus on finding a relationship for now if it is getting you down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

A friend who is mid 40s had been on every dating site since 2012 and was getting more and more fed up with it all.

She has a hectic social life but had given up on dating completely and then met someone through a shared love of ballroom dancing and is now engaged.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I'm very down wish I could meet a nice lady

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A relation of mine has tried every dating site for many years. Met some very dubious men, the odd nice one to be fair. But as she is the very trusting type, has been hurt many times.

She even met a fiance of it, who tried to isolate her from her friends and family, then dumped her by phone message on the morning they were due to fly to England for a few days away.

She got back with him after a year and he treated her just as bad. Hopefully she has dumped him for good now!

This has obviously knocked her confidence a lot and her mental health is suffering.

So, yes, the good old fashioned way of dating may well be a better way to find Mr Right. Who knows!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" This site isnt about dating x

Hi,

Confused as to the purpose of this reply, particularly as it isn't part of what I asked. Thanks for your input, though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol"

Hi,

Thanks for your input and advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

I think if you’re at a stage that you want to settle down, the paid dating sites are the way to go. Less messers on them.

Tinder/POF/bumble are more hook up sites than dating sites at this stage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keep your head up OP and don't lose heart. Yes it's hard to meet the right one these days but he/ she is out there somewhere. "

Hi,

Thank you for the support, I appreciate it. Hopefully, it will happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ah it's just a pool of ghosting, filtered pics, instant decisions and swiping left, people not turning up or turning up really late, not being as single as they say they are, or rocking up looking 10 years older in reality than in their pics, or are just more interested in mindless scrolling on phones than having a conversation with someone....

So I feel your pain. It's not great from the lads side either sometimes. "

Yes, it is so much of this & more. You really summed so much of it up. Sorry, to be clear, I wasn't insinuating that it was any easier on some of the men.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on here and pof, single a while now....and just got used to.

I never expect a reply when i send a email ....because men out number ladoes 10 to 1. But when do get reply i do try be nice and find stuff out not straight in with "fancy a fuck" like others

But i have days where think what the point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It does seem like a depressing scene alright, what about the good old-fashioned way of meeting through friends and shared interests?

Admittedly we met online but on a sex site

Thanks for the advice. Definitely open to this and it would actually be preferred.

Happy for you both!

Have been very open to dating on here, too. I don't like to limit where I might meet somebody, but I don't want to force anything, either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've noticed with my own nieces and nephews that they have little interest in relationships, never-mind settling down. I think online dating has spoiled it to an extent.

Thank you.

I definitely need a break from it. I take regular ones, but this time feels different. I go out quite a bit and partake in a voluntary role, too. So, I don't think I can do much more in that respect. Anyway, thank you for the advice, which I am already heeding. I think things just got to me. I really dislike online dating.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A friend who is mid 40s had been on every dating site since 2012 and was getting more and more fed up with it all.

She has a hectic social life but had given up on dating completely and then met someone through a shared love of ballroom dancing and is now engaged. "

Aw, this is heartening to read. All the best to her and her fiancé!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm very down wish I could meet a nice lady "

Sorry to read. It is a minefield out there. I hope you find the lady for you, Chocko.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A relation of mine has tried every dating site for many years. Met some very dubious men, the odd nice one to be fair. But as she is the very trusting type, has been hurt many times.

She even met a fiance of it, who tried to isolate her from her friends and family, then dumped her by phone message on the morning they were due to fly to England for a few days away.

She got back with him after a year and he treated her just as bad. Hopefully she has dumped him for good now!

This has obviously knocked her confidence a lot and her mental health is suffering.

So, yes, the good old fashioned way of dating may well be a better way to find Mr Right. Who knows!"

God, it sounds like she has been through it all. I hope she is in a better place now!

Unfortunately, there are limited options, when it comes to the old fashioned way. Have considered Table for 6, but would love the Thursdays concept to come to Dublin, where you are only on the apps for one day and you can meet in person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if you’re at a stage that you want to settle down, the paid dating sites are the way to go. Less messers on them.

Tinder/POF/bumble are more hook up sites than dating sites at this stage. "

Good point!

I have looked at some. Would there be one you would recommend?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've never been on a dating site I have only ever been on here. And yes I feel jaded and worn out at the moment but that's more life outside of here than anything else. Fab is just fab it doesn't change but maybe our perception of it does or we just see through the bullshite more I don't know,but between it all it's why I'm not doing any new meets for the foreseeable future. Luckily I do have someone I meet who is a true friend also. So yes in that aspect I am very lucky.

I don't really know if there is a solution but if you feel that dating sites or fab are the main reason you are feeling down take a wee break for a while. And give yourself time to enjoy it more when you come back. Best of luck on your journey.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am on here and pof, single a while now....and just got used to.

I never expect a reply when i send a email ....because men out number ladoes 10 to 1. But when do get reply i do try be nice and find stuff out not straight in with "fancy a fuck" like others

But i have days where think what the point

This is interesting to read. Sorry to read your experience, though. Is this your solely your experience in Belfast?

I find that there are a lot of women on the apps for a very small proportion of serious men.

I feel you. I am definitely having an extending moment of feeling that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"I think if you’re at a stage that you want to settle down, the paid dating sites are the way to go. Less messers on them.

Tinder/POF/bumble are more hook up sites than dating sites at this stage.

Good point!

I have looked at some. Would there be one you would recommend? "

I haven’t used any personally but I’ve heard success stories from match.com

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've never been on a dating site I have only ever been on here. And yes I feel jaded and worn out at the moment but that's more life outside of here than anything else. Fab is just fab it doesn't change but maybe our perception of it does or we just see through the bullshite more I don't know,but between it all it's why I'm not doing any new meets for the foreseeable future. Luckily I do have someone I meet who is a true friend also. So yes in that aspect I am very lucky.

Thank you for the advice, as well as your own perspective. I think you could be on to something re. perception changing.

Glad you have a true friend to engage with.

Taking a break from both for the foreseeable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if you’re at a stage that you want to settle down, the paid dating sites are the way to go. Less messers on them.

Tinder/POF/bumble are more hook up sites than dating sites at this stage.

Good point!

I have looked at some. Would there be one you would recommend?

I haven’t used any personally but I’ve heard success stories from match.com"

Okay, thank you for the recommendation.

Will suss it out this weekend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atriceWoman
over a year ago

ballymena northern ireland not donegal

Fab is not for dating it is for meet and connecting with each other in a sexual sence having fun and not taking it to seriously x over the past few years I have learnt this have had so many emotions We are only humam xpx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

Unfortunately that’s the price you pay to play the game

Bland beige profiles with the same photos and the same jokes can get particularly tiresome but you gotta try

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fab is not for dating it is for meet and connecting with each other in a sexual sence having fun and not taking it to seriously x over the past few years I have learnt this have had so many emotions We are only humam xpx "

Thank you for the reply. Whilst fab would not be traditionally used for dating, there are many examples of couples meeting on here. I like to keep an open mind, as to where I might someone, without putting all the emphasis in any one place.

Hope you are enjoying your experience on fab!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately that’s the price you pay to play the game

Bland beige profiles with the same photos and the same jokes can get particularly tiresome but you gotta try"

Yes, it would seem so, as tedious as it is.

To be fair, your fab profile isn't bland - excellent song choice and I agree re. Snapchat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

"Unfortunately that’s the price you pay to play the game

Bland beige profiles with the same photos and the same jokes can get particularly tiresome but you gotta try

Yes, it would seem so, as tedious as it is.

To be fair, your fab profile isn't bland - excellent song choice and I agree re. Snapchat. "

Cheers lol

Online dating is like shopping at TK Maxx, majority of the time flicking through shit you don’t want in order to find something decent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers lol

Online dating is like shopping at TK Maxx, majority of the time flicking through shit you don’t want in order to find something decent "

I don't enjoy shopping at TK Maxx, either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Cheers lol

Online dating is like shopping at TK Maxx, majority of the time flicking through shit you don’t want in order to find something decent

I don't enjoy shopping at TK Maxx, either.

Its a kip isn't it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers lol

Online dating is like shopping at TK Maxx, majority of the time flicking through shit you don’t want in order to find something decent

I don't enjoy shopping at TK Maxx, either.

Its a kip isn't it

Well, I wouldn't go that far, but it isn't for me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

Keep the faith op!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol"

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushin realityCouple
over a year ago

swords

Have you tried socials? Great fun and go with no expectations, we met at a social,it blossomed into something lovely. Best of luck xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place "

One person's idea of a decent guy could be another person's idea of a gobshite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keep the faith op!

Thank you - feeling a little brighter today.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place "

I disagree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you tried socials? Great fun and go with no expectations, we met at a social,it blossomed into something lovely. Best of luck xxx"

Aw, thank you for the kind message. Delighted for you both! I haven't yet tried a social, as I don't really identify as a swinger. Maybe something to consider, though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One person's idea of a decent guy could be another person's idea of a gobshite "

Very true.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place "

Your Forum comments haven't exactly helped you, of that I have no doubt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place

Your Forum comments haven't exactly helped you, of that I have no doubt."

Jesus, at first, I thought this was directed at me.

I nearly died.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place

One person's idea of a decent guy could be another person's idea of a gobshite "

Touche

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place

Your Forum comments haven't exactly helped you, of that I have no doubt.

Jesus, at first, I thought this was directed at me.

I nearly died.

Oh Jesus no, definitely not directed at you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Woman always say that, theirs is loads of decent guys out there , the arseholes ruin it for the secret ones.

Just enjoy life and you might meet someone unexpectedly , just have lots fun while waiting lol

The very same women who say they can't find a decent guy won't give a decent guy a chance in the first place

Your Forum comments haven't exactly helped you, of that I have no doubt.

Jesus, at first, I thought this was directed at me.

I nearly died.

Oh Jesus no, definitely not directed at you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread