FabSwingers.com forum: Dilemma?

By *mkloh OP Man
over a year ago

tullamore

Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

Very

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By *he James gangCouple
over a year ago

NEWTOWNABBEY

It's great until your caught!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this out of 10?

You know it's wrong.

Are you wanting folk to make you feel less of a shitty person?

pat you on the head?

or say 'yeoooooo ye boy ye, get in!' ?

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By *itnessFitnessMan
over a year ago

Wicklow

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

You know how wrong it is, don't look for a confirmation bias

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By *onster-ManMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Don't make your unhappiness in your marriage someone else's problem. Get divorced. Then maybe your wife can find an honest man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly, the right thing to do is very rarely the easy option.

Integrity matters.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

Wikipedia definition of Swinging.

"A sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes".

IMO anyone who is on this site is in no position to judge.

However distasteful the phrase "bit of strange" may sound it is after all the activity most active swingers engage in to gain the sexual excitement they wish to achieve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly certain the 'partners' refers to both being participants.

I'm okay with my perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wikipedia definition of Swinging.

"A sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes".

IMO anyone who is on this site is in no position to judge.

However distasteful the phrase "bit of strange" may sound it is after all the activity most active swingers engage in to gain the sexual excitement they wish to achieve. "

When using Wikipedia to argue a point your already losing.

Swingers in committed relationships have a little thing called consent.

The OP asked for people's opinions.

Swinging is not cheating. Cheating is not Swinging.

There is absolutely zero reason a single person or a couple playing with permission on here would be more or less judgemental about someone cheating than any other person

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

You reap what you sow personal opinions don't really matter unfortunately but how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your wife was stepping out on you, probably you would have a meltdown and start a fir of rage if you don't want to hurt her you may be better ending your relationship but it's your choice at the end of the day

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

"You reap what you sow personal opinions don't really matter unfortunately but how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your wife was stepping out on you, probably you would have a meltdown and start a fir of rage if you don't want to hurt her you may be better ending your relationship but it's your choice at the end of the day "

Surely this forum is all about personal opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

Gwan ye boy ye, is thay what you want? Honestly we all know right from wrong men and women are very different there are married women on this looking strange dick as there are married men. Everyone has their reasons. I am not in a position to judge and no one is for that matter every person on this planet has done something shitty at one stage or another. If you would rather be weak and not confront the issue thats on you but just remember your putting your wife/husband/giraffe hey its 2023 you are putting there health at risk as well as your own.... food for thought

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By *ick manMan
over a year ago

longford

You should know not too ask the saints on here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

People here are very quick to judge not everyone has the perfect life,so turn a blind eye and say each to their own,

best of luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you call beetlejuice sorry bog man three times he’ll give you the answer

So let’s do it op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will volunteer that my life is very very far from perfect.

Hard years & harder choices.

I have a standard that I hold other people to and I hold myself to the same or higher.

It's f*#king hard.

Life is hard.

But I need to hold my head up. I need to be able to look my kids in the eye without shame or embarrassment. I need to show them by example what is acceptable behaviour as an adult and/or as a female and/or towards a man/woman they might become married to.

Some things in life have grey areas and some are very simply black and white.

We all draw our own lines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No bodies life is perfect but if some think there’s is they are very much mistaken

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

Very

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll get lots of opinions here, but not the only one besides your own that matters in the case of your relationship....

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??"

Well in fairness op is/was asking for it.

Those kinda threads are always lovely judgey, self-righteous and rarely end well.

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By *ergalMan
over a year ago

East Cork

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

Well in fairness op is/was asking for it.

Those kinda threads are always lovely judgey, self-righteous and rarely end well."

Never end well

Popcorn threads

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??"

He literally asked if this is wrong in people's opinions or not.

When it comes to right and wrong there is usually a concensus with this question that it's wrong. Asking this same question in most places would produce a categorical response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

He literally asked if this is wrong in people's opinions or not.

When it comes to right and wrong there is usually a concensus with this question that it's wrong. Asking this same question in most places would produce a categorical response."

This also seems to be the only topic people have an issue with judgement being passed on, on here.

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By *otass and scorpioCouple
over a year ago

limerick cork tipperary clare waterford

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "
a bit of strange ?? Lots of strange ones on here lol …

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By *mkloh OP Man
over a year ago

tullamore

Thanks for the replies and opinions, bit of a mixed bag on the replies and everyone is entitled to there opinion, I did however think people that were on here would be more understanding as it's an alternative lifestyle, I'm not looking for anyone to slap me on the back and say go get them ,was just genuinely curious and curious about the lifestyle and the people that are involved, again appreciate all the replies,

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

You’re probably not looking for opinions as much as validation.

In a relationship, the difference between rejection and betrayal is immeasurable, while the result may be the same for one it can be very different for the other.

The thought that people here would be more understanding because it’s a lifestyle seems to be based on the premise that swinging and cheating go hand in hand, which I don’t believe they necessarily do.

Each to their own as everyone is entitled to their opinions of course, some will see it as acceptable, some won’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

I have often wondered why people ask these sort of question on the forums. It's your life and your decisions.

You are on a sex site. If a majority say it's wrong, will that convince you to delete your profile?

If not, why ask?

Serious question btw. Not being nasty, just a bit baffled why people need strangers opinions to justify their actions.

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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

OP the fact you are asking the question means you know the answer

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

Its not for me and would have no time for those who do cheat ... its your call for you

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Wikipedia definition of Swinging.

"A sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes".

IMO anyone who is on this site is in no position to judge.

However distasteful the phrase "bit of strange" may sound it is after all the activity most active swingers engage in to gain the sexual excitement they wish to achieve. "

The difference is most married swingers consent to eachother being with others ,,, cheating isn't swinging ....

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

Your n o t in a position to judge ... yet you just totally underhandedly did

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

He literally asked if this is wrong in people's opinions or not.

When it comes to right and wrong there is usually a concensus with this question that it's wrong. Asking this same question in most places would produce a categorical response.

This also seems to be the only topic people have an issue with judgement being passed on, on here.

I think the issue is ... the opinions asked for our opinion... some people can't tell the difference between opinion and judgment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

He literally asked if this is wrong in people's opinions or not.

When it comes to right and wrong there is usually a concensus with this question that it's wrong. Asking this same question in most places would produce a categorical response.

This also seems to be the only topic people have an issue with judgement being passed on, on here.

I think the issue is ... the opinions asked for our opinion... some people can't tell the difference between opinion and judgment

Opinions are judgements

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

As someone who has been on the recieving end of infidelity. It is utterly and completely devastating. I would have preferred to have honest communication than deceit.

In fact, it ended the marriage so now... At least both parties can have control of their own destiny. Not here to judge just to think about the outcomes.

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By *adhatter and coCouple
over a year ago

Middle of mayo n peaceful tranquility

It’s the bit of strange that I find distasteful as it gives me the impression he’s looking for multiple sexual partners and obviously an unsuspecting wife at home

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By *taylor122Man
over a year ago

dublin

A bit of strange is up there with hanky panky as phrases which give me the ick !!

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"No one on here had the right to judge anyone !!!

You make your own choices and f@ck the Mr & Mrs perfects on here ??

He literally asked if this is wrong in people's opinions or not.

When it comes to right and wrong there is usually a concensus with this question that it's wrong. Asking this same question in most places would produce a categorical response.

This also seems to be the only topic people have an issue with judgement being passed on, on here.

I think the issue is ... the opinions asked for our opinion... some people can't tell the difference between opinion and judgment

Opinions are judgements"

Not quite ... opinions are self preferences... judgments are based on others preferences... big difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's your understanding of it.

If you check definitions you might not find that listed.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"That's your understanding of it.

If you check definitions you might not find that listed."

Are you saying your opinions are judgments ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

Its not for me and would have no time for those who do cheat ... its your call for you "

What you've said above is no different to what and how anyone else posted.

Do you consider it an opinion or a judgement?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's your understanding of it.

If you check definitions you might not find that listed.

Are you saying your opinions are judgments ? "

My opinions are opinions.

That are mine to hold based on my experience and perspective ad how I choose to conduct myself.

Judgement is sneering and comes from a place of hate or at the very least dislike.

I have the capacity to disagree and differ without disliking or hating a person or their opinion or their actions or their choices.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

Its not for me and would have no time for those who do cheat ... its your call for you

What you've said above is no different to what and how anyone else posted.

Do you consider it an opinion or a judgement?

Its my opinion on cheating , as it is what was asked for !

As you can see it didn't come with my judgment on the ops opinion of cheating ! Ya get me ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

Its not for me and would have no time for those who do cheat ... its your call for you

What you've said above is no different to what and how anyone else posted.

Do you consider it an opinion or a judgement?

Its my opinion on cheating , as it is what was asked for !

As you can see it didn't come with my judgment on the ops opinion of cheating ! Ya get me ? "

You are kidding yourself if you don't see that your post mirrors all the others.

You can stick a

on the end or say "you do you" but it doesn't change it what goes before.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"That's your understanding of it.

If you check definitions you might not find that listed.

Are you saying your opinions are judgments ?

My opinions are opinions.

That are mine to hold based on my experience and perspective ad how I choose to conduct myself.

Judgement is sneering and comes from a place of hate or at the very least dislike.

I have the capacity to disagree and differ without disliking or hating a person or their opinion or their actions or their choices.

Thats your understanding... I wouldn't simplified all judgment into one category and assume all judgments come from a nasty place ... thats just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're full of it and you know it

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ?

Its not for me and would have no time for those who do cheat ... its your call for you

What you've said above is no different to what and how anyone else posted.

Do you consider it an opinion or a judgement?

Its my opinion on cheating , as it is what was asked for !

As you can see it didn't come with my judgment on the ops opinion of cheating ! Ya get me ?

You are kidding yourself if you don't see that your post mirrors all the others.

You can stick a

on the end or say "you do you" but it doesn't change it what goes before."

I'm not kidding myself . I'm fully aware of the meaning in my response... don't tar everyone with your way of seeing things !

I'm glad I can separate my opinion from my judgments ... weather you can see it or not

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"You're full of it and you know it"

Would you like me to put those back in your pram ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're full of it and you know it

Would you like me to put those back in your pram ? "

Oh good one there, burrrrrrrnnnnnn.

You can dish it out, but can't take it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised you're hanging about tbh.

Your M.O. is to drop judgement on a thread full of posts and then scurry off.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I'm surprised you're hanging about tbh.

Your M.O. is to drop judgement on a thread full of posts and then scurry off."

Keep going my dear ... its showing you in a very true light

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm surprised you're hanging about tbh.

Your M.O. is to drop judgement on a thread full of posts and then scurry off.

Keep going my dear ... its showing you in a very true light

Can we just agree you're both wrong and move on

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I'd say opinions probably are judgements. I challenge anyone here to give me an opinion here that doesn't involve using your judgement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say opinions probably are judgements. I challenge anyone here to give me an opinion here that doesn't involve using your judgement."

I think there is a clear difference between execising your judgement when making a choice or decision and being judgemental.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I'd say opinions probably are judgements. I challenge anyone here to give me an opinion here that doesn't involve using your judgement."

I think there is a key difference in what your referring to( using your judgment) and making a judgment on others .

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By *he MickMan
over a year ago

southside

"Would love honest opinions, completely honest, married but love a bit of strange, how wrong is it ? "

Imo it is wrong but who among us hasn't wronged someone .

What you should ask yourself is how would you feel if it was the other way around ,

Imagine she was looking for a bit of strange , would you consider that wrong ?

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"I'd say opinions probably are judgements. I challenge anyone here to give me an opinion here that doesn't involve using your judgement.

I think there is a clear difference between execising your judgement when making a choice or decision and being judgemental.

I guess it depends on your definition of judgemental.

I exercise my judgement when deciding if I can afford a new car, or where I go on holiday, or who minds my kids... but those things don't come from a place of hate. Is "being iudgemental" different to "using judgement". I don't think so. I suspect you just have more negative connotations to the word. While I can accept that using judgement to select one childminder or holiday over another is not to say that hate has been expressed upon the other choice which is not taken.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"I'd say opinions probably are judgements. I challenge anyone here to give me an opinion here that doesn't involve using your judgement.

I think there is a key difference in what your referring to( using your judgment) and making a judgment on others .

I'd disagree. That's the crux of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

This is true ... however the way I see it is I can have an opinion on an issue that has no reflection on anothers opinion ... or I can make a judgment on the other person based on their opinion ... which is judgmental.

I do think making a judgment for yourself based on your opinions is very different to, forming an impression of someone based on their opinions which is being judgmental . No ?

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

Exactly. People who make judgements are judgemental right? It doesn't mean you're being a dick. One could take this further and say that the actual one being the dick is the one accusing the person of being a judgemental dick. Oh dear I've gone cross eyed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

I do think making a judgment for yourself based on your opinions is very different to, forming an impression of someone based on their opinions which is being judgmental . No ? "

I think this is a little bit of semantics on both our parts.

Judgemental can have negative connotations and can be viewed as over the top criticism.

But opinions are still judgemental you can have a reasonably based opinion without using judgement.

Let's just say judge the topic not the person?

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

I see a different in making a judgment that is to yourself form your opinions and making a judgment ment on another person

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

I see a different in making a judgment that is to yourself form your opinions and making a judgment ment on another person "

But that's OK right. If I'm choosing 1 babysitter over another im doing exactly that. Is that being a dick? I don't think so. It's making a judgement that one babysitter is better than another a bad thing? Choosing to be faithful or not, and whether that's right or wrong is another judgement. Choosing one over the other requires making a judgement. The fact that a decision might make one person feel bad is a fact of life. I might piss off a babysitter or a cheating husband. So be it.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 08/03/23 12:00:14]

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I can state a judgement/opinion on someone else's actions respectfully. I'm still being judgemental I'm just not being a dick.

I see a different in making a judgment that is to yourself form your opinions and making a judgment ment on another person

Choosing one baby sitter over another based on your opinion and not factual or based on reality is different .

I'm not say you should do one or the other .. I'm saying there is a clear difference in forming a judgment for yourself and placing a judgment on another

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Plenty of people are unreasonably self judgemental, just like some are of other people. I don't think it matters at all if it's yourself or someone else with regards whether it's judgement or not.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Plenty of people are unreasonably self judgemental, just like some are of other people. I don't think it matters at all if it's yourself or someone else with regards whether it's judgement or not."

Thats not what I mean

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