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The straight paradox?

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

Does anyone have any opinions about the non spoken about rule on here that guys feel that in order to attract women they cannot advertise that they are interested in trans or dressers? Is there any truth to it ? 99% of guys who message me have profiles that say straight with no reference to interest in dressers.(In fact some profiles even explicitly state their disinterest). Is it a red flag for women when they see interested in tv/ts on a guy's profile? This interests me because sometimes it feels as if the whole fab message talks about being an open community where people are free to express their sexual interest. However, here it can sometimes feel like you have a scarlet letter if you're interested in ts/tv for men. Curious to see other people's opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/23 04:33:05]

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By *dyseussMan
over a year ago

Dublin

it seems is a turn off for many ladies so ..

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I think being open about your bi curiosity or sexuality might put off a small number of women but most don’t care . More importantly it has several advantages such as opening up invitations to bi events , and coming across as being happy in your own skin which is attractive quality .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course there are fabbers of all persuasions.... some who share interests and some who don't. This is not news. Please don't sensationalise this as if it's a recent discovery.

If you are or aren't attracted to a sexual orientation that's your business. It's your personal preference and you can share or not with the wider community.

Privacy is still a thing even on fab. Forced outing is not okay. Some come here to test their likes in a safe space to see how deeply they run.

It's not anything to judge or be judged by if they choose to fly under the radar whilst they figure things out.

Not everyone enjoys the luxury of proclaiming their sexuality in their 'real life' regardless of how settled they are with it so being out on fab is considered too great a risk.

Personally, if you are in conversation with intent to meet and still hide anything so important and relevant from a potential partner then that's serious deceit and I would definitely judge a liar for the lying.

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny


"Of course there are fabbers of all persuasions.... some who share interests and some who don't. This is not news. Please don't sensationalise this as if it's a recent discovery.

If you are or aren't attracted to a sexual orientation that's your business. It's your personal preference and you can share or not with the wider community.

Privacy is still a thing even on fab. Forced outing is not okay. Some come here to test their likes in a safe space to see how deeply they run.

It's not anything to judge or be judged by if they choose to fly under the radar whilst they figure things out.

Not everyone enjoys the luxury of proclaiming their sexuality in their 'real life' regardless of how settled they are with it so being out on fab is considered too great a risk.

Personally, if you are in conversation with intent to meet and still hide anything so important and relevant from a potential partner then that's serious deceit and I would definitely judge a liar for the lying."

This

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

This. Seems to have not understood the point I was making at all. It was a sociological question about the trend of many men on here not displaying their interest for dressers and why. It is intended to get a conversation going. Of course it is nothing new but that doesn't mean it's not spoken about. I do not condone outing anyone and in no where in my original post did I call for that. I was simply asking a question about something that was do with me and my particular experience with fab. The only question I was posing to you was whether you had any opinions on why some men who openly shared their interest in dressers on here. But I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Hopefully this gives you something more to think about.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

Also another thing to note is men do not have any problem displaying their sexuality on this platform as long as that sexuality is straight. Only issues arise where this is not the case. There are many other sexualities than straight. The only reason people don't have a problem claiming they're straight on the site is because it is socially acceptable for them to do so and does not harm their chances of enticing the opposite sex.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

The word straight on here is a paradox in itself.

Many fabbers are convinced that there are no straight people on here, just those who are close minded or afraid to explore their "true" selves.

There are many straight women here who are pestered by couples to be their unicorn.

Some of those couples claim to also both be straight but they want the single woman to play bi?

When a woman comments on the forums in regard to being straight she is lauded for having the courage of her conviction.

When a man comments on the forums in regard to being straight he gets a "ye right" response or is branded fab straight and told he needs to be more open or fluid.

This is not an open or caring community and anyone peddling that malarky needs to give their head a wobble.

It's every one for themselves especially on here so it's no surprise that some people are reluctant to be themselves. Even those who are truly straight. So many feel pressured to be something they aren't just to fit in and that goes both ways.

There have been numerous threads across all the forums over the years where straight people and especially straight men have had to justify their sexuality simply because those who aren't straight accuse them of being repressed.

I got attacked on here once for asking why I should remain in a room where two men were playing when I had zero interest and much preferred the next room where something more interesting was happening.

I compared it to changing channels on TV when cricket came on because I have zero interest in that either.

No-one on here or anywhere else has the right to tell others that their choices or preferences are wrong regardless of where they are on the rainbow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do indeed get your point but clearly you aren't getting mine.

In parts your comment above actually agrees with what I posted.

Basically, bottom line, it's their business and if you don't like that they keep it private that's your issue.

I simply don't see what needs discussed. There's no conspiracy. If a woman or man says they aren't attracted to bi or cd or tv or ts. That's ok. No one should feel obliged to open their legs to a sexuality, etc. out of social pressure.

If a person hides their sexuality to trick another in to sexual intimacy that's unconscionable and wrong on every level. It has been prosecuted I believe where a person purporting to be a man wore a fake phallus to be intimate with a straight woman whilst presenting as a cis male.

Are you saying that if people don't show their every sexual facet they are either ashamed or being repressed by the fab community? Because, whilst some may indeed experience internalised shame or similar for their own reasons, I have never witnessed any fabber shaming another for their orientation.

It's wrong to assume those who are simply exercising their personal choice and privacy are acting in bad faith or whatever.

But as I said before, you should never make a false representation of your own sexuality to a potential partner. Any intimacy gained under false pretences is wrong on every level.

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Some men in couples are expressly uncomfortable playing with another couple if the other male half is bi or bi curious, and this no doubt extends to couples who want to play with single men - you’ll often see the semantics around MMF or MFM discussed.

For us, if male is bi or bi curious, we’d have to check prior to arranging a meet if he is ok to ‘play straight’ with us - this usually isn’t an issue with bi curious men in MF couples. Other couples are potentially more ruthless in applying their selection criteria, so you can see why interest in gay or trans may be hidden if they also have a desire to meet couples and they don’t want to constrain the pool on that front.

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

There’s also another (controversial) reason that some couples and women may choose to avoid meeting men who express an interest in gay men or trans, and therefore those men do not advertise that interest if they desire couples / single females also.

Nobody else will say it, so we will:

The perception remains at some level amongst some number of straight women and couples that men who have sex with men, including transsexual and cross dressers, may be a higher risk factor when it comes to STIs… hence many single men may keep this quiet on profile and pursue by way of message.

This attitude may be classed as another paradox as same thing is often levelled at straight swingers by vanilla society, but we believe this may be at least a small contributing factor in answering your original paradox.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

[Removed by poster at 11/02/23 08:28:54]

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

No one is talking about misrepresenting a gender. I have no idea where you are coming from with that and it just makes the rest of what you're saying not make sense either. I'm not calling for every man to be open to other males or dressers or trans just like I have no interest towards women. What I am calling for is for men who often have relations with dressers and trans to stop explicitly stating on their profiles that they do no such thing and to end the stigma that being with trans people has on some men as is evidenced by the earlier comments of some of the men.

Imagine this, a man purports to be gay on the website and explicitly says on his profile "no interest in women so please do not message" and yet low and behold you receive a message from that very same person asking for sex. Now imagine this happening for the majority of the messages you receive. You cannot tell me that you wouldn't start to feel like a dirty secret that this people on this website are ashamed of others knowing.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre

[Removed by poster at 11/02/23 08:31:12]

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"There’s also another (controversial) reason that some couples and women may choose to avoid meeting men who express an interest in gay men or trans, and therefore those men do not advertise that interest if they desire couples / single females also.

Nobody else will say it, so we will:

The perception remains at some level amongst some number of straight women and couples that men who have sex with men, including transsexual and cross dressers, may be a higher risk factor when it comes to STIs… hence many single men may keep this quiet on profile and pursue by way of message.

This attitude may be classed as another paradox as same thing is often levelled at straight swingers by vanilla society, but we believe this may be at least a small contributing factor in answering your original paradox."

That makes a lot of sense actually . I never really considered the sti element that may be playing on people's minds. When you're in the gay community and trans you become desensitised to these issues. Thank you very much.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"The word straight on here is a paradox in itself.

Many fabbers are convinced that there are no straight people on here, just those who are close minded or afraid to explore their "true" selves.

There are many straight women here who are pestered by couples to be their unicorn.

Some of those couples claim to also both be straight but they want the single woman to play bi?

When a woman comments on the forums in regard to being straight she is lauded for having the courage of her conviction.

When a man comments on the forums in regard to being straight he gets a "ye right" response or is branded fab straight and told he needs to be more open or fluid.

This is not an open or caring community and anyone peddling that malarky needs to give their head a wobble.

It's every one for themselves especially on here so it's no surprise that some people are reluctant to be themselves. Even those who are truly straight. So many feel pressured to be something they aren't just to fit in and that goes both ways.

There have been numerous threads across all the forums over the years where straight people and especially straight men have had to justify their sexuality simply because those who aren't straight accuse them of being repressed.

I got attacked on here once for asking why I should remain in a room where two men were playing when I had zero interest and much preferred the next room where something more interesting was happening.

I compared it to changing channels on TV when cricket came on because I have zero interest in that either.

No-one on here or anywhere else has the right to tell others that their choices or preferences are wrong regardless of where they are on the rainbow.

"

Whilst i agree that these issues have similarities they are separate for the purpose of what i am originally saying. My issue is not with straight men. No one should have to justify their sexuality and I'm sorry that you experienced that ignorance. What I dislike is the taboo around meeting dressers on here and how that impacts on the way that men display their profiles as well as the way they treat dressers and trans on here. If you and other men are finding that you constantly have to defend your sexuality do you not think that this is due to the explicit dishonesty of others? The men who feel the need to proclaim their straightness and explicit lack of desire for dressers for the benefit of others' opinions whilst secretly meeting with us are the ones to blame for the need for you and others to defend yourselves.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here. "

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"it seems is a turn off for many ladies so .."

I agree but why do you think this is the case ?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"The word straight on here is a paradox in itself.

Many fabbers are convinced that there are no straight people on here, just those who are close minded or afraid to explore their "true" selves.

There are many straight women here who are pestered by couples to be their unicorn.

Some of those couples claim to also both be straight but they want the single woman to play bi?

When a woman comments on the forums in regard to being straight she is lauded for having the courage of her conviction.

When a man comments on the forums in regard to being straight he gets a "ye right" response or is branded fab straight and told he needs to be more open or fluid.

This is not an open or caring community and anyone peddling that malarky needs to give their head a wobble.

It's every one for themselves especially on here so it's no surprise that some people are reluctant to be themselves. Even those who are truly straight. So many feel pressured to be something they aren't just to fit in and that goes both ways.

There have been numerous threads across all the forums over the years where straight people and especially straight men have had to justify their sexuality simply because those who aren't straight accuse them of being repressed.

I got attacked on here once for asking why I should remain in a room where two men were playing when I had zero interest and much preferred the next room where something more interesting was happening.

I compared it to changing channels on TV when cricket came on because I have zero interest in that either.

No-one on here or anywhere else has the right to tell others that their choices or preferences are wrong regardless of where they are on the rainbow.

Whilst i agree that these issues have similarities they are separate for the purpose of what i am originally saying. My issue is not with straight men. No one should have to justify their sexuality and I'm sorry that you experienced that ignorance. What I dislike is the taboo around meeting dressers on here and how that impacts on the way that men display their profiles as well as the way they treat dressers and trans on here. If you and other men are finding that you constantly have to defend your sexuality do you not think that this is due to the explicit dishonesty of others? The men who feel the need to proclaim their straightness and explicit lack of desire for dressers for the benefit of others' opinions whilst secretly meeting with us are the ones to blame for the need for you and others to defend yourselves."

My fab experience has actually been the complete opposite of this.

The most vociferous forum comments have been from openly bi men who dismiss the very idea that we aren't all bi to some degree and if placed in a particular scenario would "go with the flow" or react very differently to what we may say on a public forum.

If others opinions are coloured by different experiences then it's possible they will doubt if a particular individual is protesting too much but that doesn't give them the right to tar everyone with the same brush.

I can't speak in relation to your situation as I don't know any CD's or TV's so I've honestly no idea.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed."

Where do you get the idea that men encourage bi men to keep quiet about it?

The only bi phobia against men I have ever seen on here is from women.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

Such a good discussion thus far.

No, I'm not being sarcastic, some excellent points well made above.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Not great at writing long replies but I'd imagine sometimes you can feel annoyed or hurt that to some men you have to stay as a " dirty little secret " or am I picking you up wrong.

I'm bi,I've never hidden that fact and when I wrote a thread about my first experience I got nothing but positive replies in that thread

I also believe that most people on here are 100% straight but comfortable in any multi partner play experiences they have

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed.

Where do you get the idea that men encourage bi men to keep quiet about it?

The only bi phobia against men I have ever seen on here is from women. "

It's a subtle discouragement. Women perpetuate the phobia in the same way that women perpetuate discrimination against each other ( because of the opinion of men ). If you don't understand what I mean look at countries where women are literally viewed as second class citizens even by other women. That being said I understand if that can seem obscure.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed.

Where do you get the idea that men encourage bi men to keep quiet about it?

The only bi phobia against men I have ever seen on here is from women.

It's a subtle discouragement. Women perpetuate the phobia in the same way that women perpetuate discrimination against each other ( because of the opinion of men ). If you don't understand what I mean look at countries where women are literally viewed as second class citizens even by other women. That being said I understand if that can seem obscure."

That almost sounds as though you feel women aren't capable of having their own opinions or being able to express them.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"Not great at writing long replies but I'd imagine sometimes you can feel annoyed or hurt that to some men you have to stay as a " dirty little secret " or am I picking you up wrong.

I'm bi,I've never hidden that fact and when I wrote a thread about my first experience I got nothing but positive replies in that thread

I also believe that most people on here are 100% straight but comfortable in any multi partner play experiences they have

"

I appreciate that thank you but the issue goes beyond my sometimes personal feelings. It's about the way trans people and dressers are treated in general on this site. I'm just voicing this from my own experiences. Also just to clear, I try not to feel hurt by any of this and encourage other dressers to feel the same. At the end of the day the whole concept of gender and sexuality is just that; a concept. At the moment society says this , in 50 years it could say that and another 50 this again. So we shouldn't really live our lives by what it says because it's always changing.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed.

Where do you get the idea that men encourage bi men to keep quiet about it?

The only bi phobia against men I have ever seen on here is from women.

It's a subtle discouragement. Women perpetuate the phobia in the same way that women perpetuate discrimination against each other ( because of the opinion of men ). If you don't understand what I mean look at countries where women are literally viewed as second class citizens even by other women. That being said I understand if that can seem obscure.

That almost sounds as though you feel women aren't capable of having their own opinions or being able to express them."

Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean it's not informed or encouraged by another party. Of course women can have their opinions but I question the validity of any opinion based on biphobia.

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By *mfeelingbella OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Cork City Centre


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here.

This is so true. It's always interesting to me how some fabbers say that the community is dominated by the female opinion owing to the ratio and bargaining power when biphobia towards men is inherently toxic masculinity. Think about it ; straight men have little to no use for bi men and therefore encourage them to keep quite about it. However, for bi women they see a personal use which leads to its encouragement to be openly proclaimed.

Where do you get the idea that men encourage bi men to keep quiet about it?

The only bi phobia against men I have ever seen on here is from women.

It's a subtle discouragement. Women perpetuate the phobia in the same way that women perpetuate discrimination against each other ( because of the opinion of men ). If you don't understand what I mean look at countries where women are literally viewed as second class citizens even by other women. That being said I understand if that can seem obscure.

That almost sounds as though you feel women aren't capable of having their own opinions or being able to express them.

Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean it's not informed or encouraged by another party. Of course women can have their opinions but I question the validity of any opinion based on biphobia. "

However, this is off topic and only seems to distract from the original discussion. Gender dominance plays a huge role in societal values. So yes I would say that men have a concerning amount of influence over a woman's opinion today. We may be living in a 21st century Ireland but you can't forget the history. Equal voting wasnt even a thing until the free state

Not that long ago.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I see a lot of profiles that say no bi men. That's why

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By *cl2010Couple
over a year ago

cork

I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight"

Given that trans people have a higher incidence of violence against them than any other group, I don’t see how they are appropriating women’s position.

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By *cl2010Couple
over a year ago

cork


"I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight

Given that trans people have a higher incidence of violence against them than any other group, I don’t see how they are appropriating women’s position. "

I agree with you. But there's no denying the vocal terf types feel differently to us. A lot of trans hate comes from women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is turning very toxic.

Terf, biphobia....

With any personal choice or orientation, it's a preference to feel it, to do it, to share it. Decide for yourself and stop analysing others so much.

Please stop picking at people on all sides for exercising their freedoms to choose.

Not all choices come from a bad place of hate, phobia or exclusion or a deficiency of character.

You're all weaponising sexual orientations and identities.

Putting assumptions and self-proclamed notions of facts that are nothing more than possibilities.

That's dangerous talk.

If you aren't with a person who is proud of you and your connection move on. They're not worth your time or attention.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight

Given that trans people have a higher incidence of violence against them than any other group, I don’t see how they are appropriating women’s position.

I agree with you. But there's no denying the vocal terf types feel differently to us. A lot of trans hate comes from women

"

It most definitely does.

Tbh I’m glad you clarified because your post made it sound like that’s your view on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight

Given that trans people have a higher incidence of violence against them than any other group, I don’t see how they are appropriating women’s position.

I agree with you. But there's no denying the vocal terf types feel differently to us. A lot of trans hate comes from women

"

What is terf?

And as a woman I can definitely say I have no hate towards a trans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the almighty Wikipedia :

TERF (/t??rf/) is an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. First recorded in 2008, the term was originally used to distinguish trans-inclusive feminists from a group of radical feminists who reject the assertion that trans women are women, the inclusion of trans women in women's spaces, and transgender rights legislation. Trans-inclusive feminists assert that these ideas are transphobic. The use of the term TERF has since broadened to include reference to people with trans-exclusionary views who are not necessarily involved with radical feminism.[1][2][3]

Though TERF was created to be a "deliberately technically neutral description", the term is now typically considered derogatory or disparaging.[4][5] People labeled TERFs often reject the label, instead describing their beliefs as gender critical.[6][7] In academic discourse, there is no clear consensus on whether TERF constitutes a slur. Critics of the label have pointed to its usage alongside insulting or abusive rhetoric, and described it as a "bullying tool",[8][9][10][11] while other academics have argued that this alone does not make it a slur.[10][11][12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From the almighty Wikipedia :

TERF (/t??rf/) is an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. First recorded in 2008, the term was originally used to distinguish trans-inclusive feminists from a group of radical feminists who reject the assertion that trans women are women, the inclusion of trans women in women's spaces, and transgender rights legislation. Trans-inclusive feminists assert that these ideas are transphobic. The use of the term TERF has since broadened to include reference to people with trans-exclusionary views who are not necessarily involved with radical feminism.[1][2][3]

Though TERF was created to be a "deliberately technically neutral description", the term is now typically considered derogatory or disparaging.[4][5] People labeled TERFs often reject the label, instead describing their beliefs as gender critical.[6][7] In academic discourse, there is no clear consensus on whether TERF constitutes a slur. Critics of the label have pointed to its usage alongside insulting or abusive rhetoric, and described it as a "bullying tool",[8][9][10][11] while other academics have argued that this alone does not make it a slur.[10][11][12]"

Thank you

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

In answer to your question op no it wouldn't bother me if someone was in to tv/ts nor would their sexuality bother me. If their people appeals to me I will chat with them and see how things go when I am meeting someone new.

If it does bother you that men who contact you are hiding the fact they want to meet you and say so on their profile why would you even interact with them. I know I read someone's bio and look at their pics and if it doesn't interest me or something makes me think we wouldn't get on then I don't even interact with them,as I don't see the point.

On here despite people trying to convince everyone that it's open minded and non judgemental it's quite the opposite at times.And it doesn't matter if you are bi,gay,straight or anything in between there is always someone who tries to tell you that your sexuality is wrong and you should try something else to suit their agenda.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"

Nobody else will say it, so we will:

The perception remains at some level amongst some number of straight women and couples that men who have sex with men, including transsexual and cross dressers, may be a higher risk factor when it comes to STIs… hence many single men may keep this quiet on profile and pursue by way of message.

This attitude may be classed as another paradox as same thing is often levelled at straight swingers by vanilla society, but we believe this may be at least a small contributing factor in answering your original paradox."

We're occasional blood donors so (as swingers) keep an eye on the requirements. Latest research has resulted in bi or gay men being allowed to donate blood under the same criteria as straight people. The focus is now on sexual behaviour rather than sexual orientation.

Anal sex is proven to be a much higher risk factor for STI's than oral or vaginal.

You are deemed safe to donate if you haven't had anal sex with a new partner in the previous 4 months regardless of your gender or sexual orientation.

Just said I'd mention it for anyone interested. Mrs

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I think this thread by a member of a discriminated against section Of society (and of fab) should definitely get hijacked to discuss the really stressful experiences of straight people

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By *cl2010Couple
over a year ago

cork


"I see two big factors in it..

Ts and TV can both be presenting as women. And feeling like women. To a willing partner they can essentially be women.

But natural born women have had a pretty rough history with men. So I'm sure some of them don't appreciate men appropriating their position.

Similarly, I am sure many women do not consider TV's to be women so they see the sex as gay, while the men see it as straight

Given that trans people have a higher incidence of violence against them than any other group, I don’t see how they are appropriating women’s position.

I agree with you. But there's no denying the vocal terf types feel differently to us. A lot of trans hate comes from women

It most definitely does.

Tbh I’m glad you clarified because your post made it sound like that’s your view on it "

Well then good thing you prompted me!

Ill try to be a better/clearer writer.

I may not be attracted to everybody, but I wouldn't discriminate for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our experience 90% of men who message us have straight on the profile. Our bio clearly says we are looking for bi guys only. Their reasons mostly...

To stop men msging them.

Being bi puts some sng women and cpls off.

Others are just starting their bi exploration and are testing the waters.

So I would imagine it's similar reasons for not putting looking for tv/ts on their profile.

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By *he Gent 78Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Biphobia is rampant here but only when it comes to bi men. Bi women are put on a pedestal, bi men are seen as dirty/greedy etc (by some).

There are a lot of women and couples who have a blanket ban on meeting bi men and this leads a lot of bi-curious men, in particular, to leave straight on their profiles.

Lying about it is not ideal but tbh I can understand it based on some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at bi men on here. "

Nail on head

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