FabSwingers.com forum: Fab and mental health

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else, in particularly guys just feel down from this site. Between the 1/10 response rate, being catfished by gay men pretending to be females and couples. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few great conversations and meet ups because of this site. But most times I come on here I just feel borderline depressed afterwards.. Perhaps I should just call it a day and delete my profile ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup delete it

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

If you're feeling that bad while using this site probably better to call it a day.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I feel this place is TERRIBLE for many single men's mental health. The amount of rejection they get mean that its hard for all but the most self assured to not take it to heart. Its like the opposite of how the site is for women.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

If the site is the sole source of your MH issues then yes you would be better off deleting.

If it's just one of the trigger points it's advisable to delete and speak to a professional.

You've been here a long time so only you can tell what the root problem is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel this place is TERRIBLE for many single men's mental health. The amount of rejection they get mean that its hard for all but the most self assured to not take it to heart. Its like the opposite of how the site is for women."

Agreed, although I suspect its not necessarily beneficial for a lot of women either in the long run.

If you feel bad after being onsite OP, then that surely tells you what you should do.

Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd be better off going to a social or unverified meet and greet.

Most women won't reply to messages from unverified accounts.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

On the surface you seem to have a lot going for you but dont put on your eggs in one basket

If messages don't work for you try going to a social

Try DV8 on the forums as they run socials every couple of weeks in their pub

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"You'd be better off going to a social or unverified meet and greet.

Most women won't reply to messages from unverified accounts. "
.

He is veried though.

Op if you think fab is making your mental health worse hide your profile for a bit and take a break. It's definitely tougher for men on here to get meets and even to get chats going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is a playground like playing kiss chasing in the school yard..one can always take a time out from playing.

Sound advice from comments already made. Detach from it and re charge

Fab is not going anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/23 08:41:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd be better off going to a social or unverified meet and greet.

Most women won't reply to messages from unverified accounts. .

He is veried though.

Op if you think fab is making your mental health worse hide your profile for a bit and take a break. It's definitely tougher for men on here to get meets and even to get chats going. "

Oops yeah I missed that as veris are hidden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else, in particularly guys just feel down from this site. Between the 1/10 response rate, being catfished by gay men pretending to be females and couples. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few great conversations and meet ups because of this site. But most times I come on here I just feel borderline depressed afterwards.. Perhaps I should just call it a day and delete my profile .. "

I Agree

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By *an I Kiss youMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

Buddy, Fab is like a jungle. Survival of the fittest and all that, since it primarily centred around one human most primal instincts.

It can get brutal here sometimes. I am sure you have seen the forum before.

If you have any vulnerability or insecurity or show frustration, you can and will be shredded to pieces by some characters you might come across here.

I will not give you any advice or pretend that I know what you should do. You are the best person to decide for yourself.

All I can offer is that if you ever feel down, just give me a nudge and we can have a chat whenever you need. I am removing the filter from your profile now.

If you want to have a chat about how to make your profile come across a bit more reassuring, give me a shout. I wouldn't in anyway claim that I know how to make a good profile, but over the time I've been here I learned a few tips I am happy to share.

Stay well my good man and look after yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best off to have no expectations here, if you do then you will only be disappointed, its a free site people can choose to reply to whomever they want, I'd explore other avenues in how to meet women.. Try normal dating sites you could have way more success there and if fab is really getting you down best off to knock it on the head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab had it good points and it's bad points, when the bad points outweighs the good stuff, uts time to take a break.

Men aren't the only ones who get rejected on here btw. I have no expectations on here anymore and for now I'm just enjoying the socials and using the forums as I've been messed about so much.

Get to a social or two, but if been on here is effecting you just delete or take a break.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lots of male friends who have been really down from being on this site. One described it as logging in hoping for that dopamine hit of someone replying getting excited when they see a message only to find it's a guy kindly offering to suck his dick. I think either hide profile or delete it. I think for women Fab depresses us for different reasons. I've deleted my profile 4 times it really is depressing sometimes when you get nasty messages or when you realise to some men you're just a set of holes.

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By *eckycd41TV/TS
over a year ago

Navan

I use it for a distraction from real life

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By *inxySTV/TS
over a year ago

dublin

There was a similar thread to this a while ago and I pointed out the obvious mental health issues created by sites like fab and the lack of any links to support services. I got a slap on the wrist for pointing it out and a ban. Go figure

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By *inion42Man
over a year ago

minionland

Fab will only ever show a tenth of their personality, definitely go to a nice social and have a chat, it’s all about finding your tribe, don’t depend on the site itself, but use it like an enabler.

Everything In Moderation

Life is about the journey not the destination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as my own activity on here, I don't get depressed.

It does get a bit much at times being confronted by the state humanity and the world and just how lacking things can get and how low the bar is for some.

I think it's unpleasant and grim for everyone at times not just for whatever is your situation OP if you've been turned down, messed about, stood up or let down.

So yeah, fab can be less than you might hope.

If those things and threads get too unpleasant I turn my gaze to the parts I find more enjoyable.

Post a few pics, chat with the genuinely lovely in my dms, have a bit of craic and the ugly soon recedes

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

It you get your sense of worth from what others think of you then you’d be best calling it a day

Rejections the name of the game here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a-lot of posts from people about how frustrating it is etc etc that people dont get their own way or get what they want here.

It’s like real life, you can fancy the pants of each other but if nothing in common then unlikely to get a reply.

I dont message many, but when I do I would say its 50/50 weather get a response.

Take the time to read their profile, what they are into and write a personal message introducing yourself, what your about and what your looking for and why you think you’d be compatible, even if you get a ‘not for me thanks’ its aknowlegment.

Also rememeber that 70% of all singles profiles are fake so get good at spotting american bedrooms, snap shots from videos etc. the best people to message are ones with no public picture, less likely to be fake and their pictures when share are usually a nice surprise!

Same with couples, id say 50% are fake. Usually a man only.

Just be choosy about who you message and pop some effort into it like its a work email. Stand out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do NOT let this place or any of the people here DAMAGE your MENTAL HEALTH, always always keep the fun in it , if you feel it's in ANYWAY detrimental to your health in.. ANY way..just leave it all behind , your HEALTH is WAYYYYY more important than what this place will ever offer,please mind and take care of yourself , whatever you decide to do,and ,again, your HEALTH is WAYYYYY More important.

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By *ednuts101Man
over a year ago

Here

"I use it for a distraction from real life"

Yep a lot of us do to be fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

Fab can ..and does ..have an effect on people's Mental Health simply because it turns out NOT to be the place some people thought it was thus making it the place it is, so l would agree that if Fab effects a person's mental health then l believe it is the wrong place for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

It's not Healthy for them in ANY way ..l fully agree with you on those being here with issues . It's not healthy for them OR the people they try to engage with .

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Not everyone recognises that they have MH issues as is fairly obvious by their fab interaction.

It takes many forms and can often be extremely toxic for anyone they come into contact with.

If their paths cross with others who are struggling it's never going to end well.

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork

I hate to say it but it's just normal if you're a guy these days to face a lot of rejection, and yeah you're gonna need a break from it sometimes because while it seems personal and sometimes it actually is, nobody can help their preferences

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Honestly if it's effecting your mental health, I woukd either hide profile or delete it this place isn't worth effecting your mental health.

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By *an I Kiss youMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

Of course you can associate fab with MH. I just looked at your profile and it cheered me up

On a serious note though, I guess it is just a matter of one's own perspective and how she/he is actually handling interactios in the Fab Jungle.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"Not everyone recognises that they have MH issues as is fairly obvious by their fab interaction.

It takes many forms and can often be extremely toxic for anyone they come into contact with.

If their paths cross with others who are struggling it's never going to end well. "

Lol you can't diagnose a mental health condition of someone you've never met from reading their forum posts... and you can't say these people you've diagnosed never have interactions wirh others that end well. Many here have an online persona or enjoy devils advocate or just trolling. It's all part of interacting on internet forums.

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By *ildGroverMan
over a year ago

rathfarnham

Fab is frustrating, depressing, annoying, fun, exciting, entertaining.

You just have to figure out if you can cope with all of the above.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Not everyone recognises that they have MH issues as is fairly obvious by their fab interaction.

It takes many forms and can often be extremely toxic for anyone they come into contact with.

If their paths cross with others who are struggling it's never going to end well.

I agree. Completely different when I'm talking about people I have actually met. I didn't mention the forums

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Sorry I misunderstood your post

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By *isnameismargaretMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I think when I was younger had I been on here I would have invested hugely into the site.

Someone above mentioned the dopamine hit of seeing a message only to find it's a guy with no picture or text on his profile and a two word message.

That would have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me.

Nowadays I can take it or leave it.

I might spend most of a day on the forums then not touch it for a week.

It doesn't affect my mental health or sense of worth at all but I can definitely see how it could.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I for one am reassured by the number of health professionals on fab who kindly offer up their services free of charge.

We're all clearly in safe hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I for one am reassured by the number of health professionals on fab who kindly offer up their services free of charge.

We're all clearly in safe hands

Gas isn't it, they also are highly qualified in domestic and foreign policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I for one am reassured by the number of health professionals on fab who kindly offer up their services free of charge.

We're all clearly in safe hands

Gas isn't it, they also are highly qualified in domestic and foreign policy

Fml

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

Lots of good advice here. Yes it has its good and bad sides. But then life does too.

Take a break, recharge and delete if needs be. As said earlier. Fab will always be here.

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

"Lots of good advice here. Yes it has its good and bad sides. But then life does too.

Take a break, recharge and delete if needs be. As said earlier. Fab will always be here. "

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

And there in lies the reason so many woman on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the asshole guys that are responsible for the low response rate, so I believe. The women on fab have been on the receiving end of so many messages from dick heads that they have become too guarded, which makes it harder for a genuine guy to be taken seriously. So it affects both parties mental health; the women feeling intimidated and the genuine guys feeling rejected.

Just my thoughts anyway.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"There was a similar thread to this a while ago and I pointed out the obvious mental health issues created by sites like fab and the lack of any links to support services. I got a slap on the wrist for pointing it out and a ban. Go figure "

Thats ridiculous... shame on anyone who reprimanded you for suggesting support . Says alot about alot imo

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

That makes no sense

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

That almost suggests there are those who are here without issues....

do you actually believe that anyone is without issues at all ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

That almost suggests there are those who are here without issues....

do you actually believe that anyone is without issues at all ?"

Nope, just some are "fully loaded"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mental health issues have become the norm these days, mainly as we have better ways to identify them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think mental health issues have become the norm these days, mainly as we have better ways to identify them."

They're part of the human condition

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Yes. I think you should. Problem solved then

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

That almost suggests there are those who are here without issues....

do you actually believe that anyone is without issues at all ?

Nope, just some are "fully loaded"

True

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

Yes. I think you should. Problem solved then"

Only one problem solved ... it hasn't addressed your sh#itbag response though , any thoughts on that ?

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I am of the believe that there is a big difference between emotional health and mental health.

Everyone has up and downs with their emotional health, it is a part of life and being human. We will different emotions that are often directly correlated to different situations or events.

Mental health for me is different, a more much serious ans complex challenge that people face that.

OP, ultimately if you aren't enjoying something then stop doing it, that attitude should translate to lots of other areas in your life too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting a response rate of 1/10 isnt bad for a hook up site. The male to female ratio is ridiculous so it makes no sense to value your self worth in this artificial environment.

The other problem is dopamine depletion with these apps. Too much dopamine from porn/notifications will make you feel sluggish and unmotivated. Go for a walk in the cold or have a cold shower to boost your dopamine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mean men don't turn up for organised one on one meets?

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By *adforsexMan
over a year ago

Santry

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By *adforsexMan
over a year ago

Santry

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By *omtom21100Man
over a year ago

Fareham/Portchester

I think that loneliness, as well as seeking fun and excitement, may draw people towards Fab so the rejection rate for single men may only increase anxiety if loneliness is a driver for joining. Got to put things in perspective to stay sane… not every one will like everyone and try not to take any messages unanswered or deleted too personally.

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

I always thought with fab being a swinging site many men would find it next to impossible to find Just a single women for fun I always thought that's what other platforms where for? I know many use it just to find a married man friend or one night stands or for whatever reason they are here..

And it's not always men getting rejected too there's plenty of single women or married women here getting rejected too! It happens just means they are just not what floats your boat so to speak or don't click it happens in real life aswell on regular dating sites...unfortunately it's become the norm for many messages not getting a reply if they read your profile and your not for them...

No reply means they are not interested...simple

Just gotta grow a thick skin and keep trying...

And if you feel its effecting your mental health take a break hide your profile like many of us do ..

Much love cj x

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I think that loneliness, as well as seeking fun and excitement, may draw people towards Fab so the rejection rate for single men may only increase anxiety if loneliness is a driver for joining. Got to put things in perspective to stay sane… not every one will like everyone and try not to take any messages unanswered or deleted too personally. "

I think you have hit the nail on the head for some and its a very honest post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mean men don't turn up for organised one on one meets?"

I've been stood up 8 times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've said before I don't get many messages and honestly any message I get paying me a compliment or trying to boost my ego I take with a pinch of salt.

as i have had guys be all pleasant until I say I'm not interested or I'm not meeting for them to very quickly get abusive or nasty in their messages so not every woman on here has an inflated ego. I definitely haven't, and I hope anyone that knows me would say the same.

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

Op if you think fab is making your mental health worse hide your profile for a bit and take a break."

100% this...all day everyday. I'm on a break myself (bar Forum reading of course!) as I have a lot going on in my offline life personally. But if you're finding fab is impacting how you feel, you need to take a step back OP

Feel better soon xoxo

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By *happy79xMan
over a year ago

Waterford

This won't be popular.. but going to say it anyway .

Most people that join fab have something going on below the surface.

Most have underlying reason for joining fab ..and its nearly always for a negative reason . When it goes unchecked fab can enhance it and make it worse .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand why anyone would continue any voluntary activity where they have identified that they usually feel borderline depressed or worse after.

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By *happy79xMan
over a year ago

Waterford

The mind is a powerful thing . What seems rational and clear cut to some is a mine field to others .

Whats logical to one person it absurd to another. Thats what make mental health so hard to get a handle on .

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"I don't understand why anyone would continue any voluntary activity where they have identified that they usually feel borderline depressed or worse after."

For the purpose for fulfilling the end goal maybe

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"I don't understand why anyone would continue any voluntary activity where they have identified that they usually feel borderline depressed or worse after."

the eternal hope of the wetting of the dick probably wins over every time

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

"I don't understand why anyone would continue any voluntary activity where they have identified that they usually feel borderline depressed or worse after."

I see where you're coming from but I don't think it's as easy as just stopping said activity in some cases sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t associate Mental health with fab

Clearly in the wrong place

There are also those who arrive with their issues fully loaded, it's not likely to be healthy for them either, even if they place the blame on everyone else

That almost suggests there are those who are here without issues....

do you actually believe that anyone is without issues at all ?"

Of course there are people here that have issues but they just don't take them out on other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate, have a word with yourself. It’s a website. If it pisses you off then go to a different site.

Mental health is a broad term and literally everything affects it from how much coffee you drink to if the bus driver said hello and smiled or didn’t. Find what works for you but if a website you don’t need to access it making you feel low then the obvious answer is to walk away…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This won't be popular.. but going to say it anyway .

Most people that join fab have something going on below the surface.

Most have underlying reason for joining fab ..and its nearly always for a negative reason . When it goes unchecked fab can enhance it and make it worse . "

I certainly do not have any issues that l take out here, am here for what it should be ..fun.. and l certainly won't let anyone take the fun out of it for me regardless of what's here, if l don't agree with a person l don't pay that thread or post any attention..it's supposed to be fun ..keep it that way .

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Whilst the current drive to understand and address mental difficulties is positive and on the right path, does anybody worry now that the term is being used far far too often by people who dont understand what it means?

My fear is that its all going to get diluted by people who are just having a bad day or days, or those who are having a bout of sadness that has nothing to do with their mental health.

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