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Attending parties but playing only with each other

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By *odernLoveDublin OP   Man
over a year ago

dublin

Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

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By *odernLoveDublin OP   Man
over a year ago

dublin


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon. "

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be!

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions."

Be pretty pushy if a party came with an expectation of having to have fun with others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be! "

If I went to a party and there was no one I was interested in playing with, I wouldn't be doing it just to justify my invite I'd like to think most experienced hosts would appreciate that everyone's levels of involvement will vary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've chatted with people who have been to parties and only played with themselves, I've been to a few parties and didn't play woth anyone.

Suss out the parties where there's no expectations to play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've chatted with people who have been to parties and only played with themselves, I've been to a few parties and didn't play woth anyone.

Suss out the parties where there's no expectations to play"

I'm laughing because the last party I was at I just had a lovely wee nap

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Any party I've been invited to or been at never had an expectation that you had to play

Dont see what the problem would be and people like to watch others having sex and not necessarily joining in

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By *assionfruitfunCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be! "
The Fun would be in voyeurism/exhibitionism and the very unique atmosphere of a sex party. Likely what your lady is after. Don't worry, it's very common and not frowned upon at all (as well as not playing for that matter).

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

No one should be made feel they have to do anything anywhere. I'm not sure what part of that you wouldn't already get?

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

I've been to a few parties in the past and never felt pressured to play

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Only been to one party but more than half the people there didn't play at all and there were no expectations even on me as a complete rookie.

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By *mmmm300Woman
over a year ago

cork

I have never attended a party and wouldn't if I felt there was an expectation on me to play. And I do like to watch.

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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

We've been to lots. Sometimes we have just played with each other, other times we haven't played at all. We never go to parties with any expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never attended a party and wouldn't if I felt there was an expectation on me to play. And I do like to watch. "

^^Same.

But I'd really only truly enjoy the watching if I found them at least a little bit attractive whether I'm part of the tangle or not. A turnoff is a turnoff at the end of the day, can't be helped.

I don't share well or easily, so it'd be a definite maybe on that and better to be done with planning and by design not just spontaneously.... to avoid ruining a great thing with regrets

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be! "

But there would because ye all play with partners and be watch which is the trill your partner is after is it not

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By *odernLoveDublin OP   Man
over a year ago

dublin


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be!

But there would because ye all play with partners and be watch which is the trill your partner is after is it not "

Thats if we found a party with everyone wanting what we want which is unlikely.

Im talking about an ordinary party or club night.

But looks like I have an answer and we would be welcomed at most events

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By *an I Kiss youMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

I think it might be the nerve that is making you overthink this.

.

Look, it is very simple. A sex or swinging party is not a mass or a mainstream club night where there is a priest or a bouncer telling you what to do or what is expected from you.

.

No, these parties are safe spaces for liberated and like-minded individuals, who evolved beyond the myth of normal and the traditional social norms, to express themselves in a manner that doesn't hurt others or interfere with what those others do.

.

Nothing is frowned upon there except a few basic behavioural expectations of being courteous and pleasant in your interactions with other attendees.

What you decide to do with yourself and your own body is completely and strictly down to your decision and consent.

.

Go for it bud. You will never know until you try.

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By *ornywife20Couple
over a year ago

North Cork

We sometimes just play by ourselves at parties in clubs no one will judge you or comment we sometimes don't play more times we play as a couple with other couples it works well for us. So in short guys what ever you are comfortable with .

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By *rAndMrsRightCouple
over a year ago

newtownabbey


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be! "

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is slightly concerning?

Most people I know as well as most people in this thread agree that there are zero expectations at parties, but judging by this comment - how many people think that couples having sex with each other or not having sex at all at parties are no fun and shouldn't take up the space of those who are "seasoned swingers" and come for a fuck?

Missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only comment from single girls perspective on this subject. I know so many girls that will attend parties and not play for a variety of reasons periods coming early or health issue or they are just not attracted to the people attending or they aren't feeling confident on the night etc. The parties I attend I go to safe in the knowledge there's never any pressure to do anything I wouldn't attend otherwise. I think it's wonderful couples can attend and explore something new knowing they have no obligation to play with anyone else.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I'd like to think that at any party you go to, you'd only do what you're comfortable with and it wouldn't be frowned upon.

Agreed but I think that's a bit different if you go and get cold feet as opposed to potentially taking up space or filling slots when you dont intend to play with others?

Maybe I wrong, but if everyone went with the same intention as us then where would the fun be!

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is slightly concerning?

Most people I know as well as most people in this thread agree that there are zero expectations at parties, but judging by this comment - how many people think that couples having sex with each other or not having sex at all at parties are no fun and shouldn't take up the space of those who are "seasoned swingers" and come for a fuck?

Missus "

Think you didnt notice that it was the Op who said that

I assumed that they were worried if everyone went to a party with the attitude of not playing or just playing together then there's not much fun for some people at the party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wouldn't catch anyone complaining and if they did they should be removed from the event. No one should ever be forced to do something they don't want.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

In American swingers parlance, I think this phenomenon is termed, "taking sand to the beach"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's been a few comments dotted around fab about first party experiences being bad as people played when they just weren't feeling it 100% so it seems like a valid concern. Clearly people feel it's expected even if there isn't anyone going around taking notes of who's doing who.

It maybe needs to be talked about more openly in pre-party warmup group chats or wherever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions."

Whatever she is comfortable with and wants , it is as simple as that , do not force her in doing others things she's not comfortable with or do you suggest anything to her , she will make up her own mind , the most important thing is that ye both enjoy yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The very first party I was invited to I asked the hosts if there was an expectation and was told no expectations when I asked about taking up a "space" I was told my company was enough.

I think it depends in the " party" Ali that ran parties had told me she knew the greedy girls parties wouldn't be for me.

So I think if your going to a party, chat to the host, chat to people who have gone and decide than.

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By *arbieandbaldyCouple
over a year ago

Dublin, Liverpool

We're attending our first party this April. We are going with the expectation of not playing on the night, more of networking. Meeting women and maybe a couple on the night with the intention of playing later on down the road. If something does happen on the night, all good and well. But we wouldn't be just playing for the sake of everyone else.

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By *adhatter and coCouple
over a year ago

Middle of mayo n peaceful tranquility


"We're attending our first party this April. We are going with the expectation of not playing on the night, more of networking. Meeting women and maybe a couple on the night with the intention of playing later on down the road. If something does happen on the night, all good and well. But we wouldn't be just playing for the sake of everyone else. "

If I am correct the party you are referring to is the SW meet and greet and it’s just a social and a really good night out .The parties are a little different

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By *arbieandbaldyCouple
over a year ago

Dublin, Liverpool


"We're attending our first party this April. We are going with the expectation of not playing on the night, more of networking. Meeting women and maybe a couple on the night with the intention of playing later on down the road. If something does happen on the night, all good and well. But we wouldn't be just playing for the sake of everyone else.

If I am correct the party you are referring to is the SW meet and greet and it’s just a social and a really good night out .The parties are a little different "

Oh we know, we were just pointing out that we wouldn't play just for the sake of playing. Plus we're looking forward to the RVC in April, we will see yerselves at it

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By *adforsexMan
over a year ago

Santry


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions."
judging by some replies some people really just love social side of it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions. judging by some replies some people really just love social side of it lol "

I'm only here for the social side.

And there's a big difference between a social and a party. I've attended well over 20 socials at this stage and never played with anyone at or after the social lol

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By *HandDNCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

We've hosted a few parties and attended more over the years. The social element was always the key ingredient for people to relax and play or not play. So just by being there and engaging in conversation you're helping the party be a success. Sometimes the craic was so good you almost didn't want to leave to go to the bedrooms.

The only thing that might annoy people were if you were to play by yourselves and hog one of the bedrooms for most of the night. Normally when the door is closed then whoever is in there doesnt want to have an audience. So be mindful of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've hosted a few parties and attended more over the years. The social element was always the key ingredient for people to relax and play or not play. So just by being there and engaging in conversation you're helping the party be a success. Sometimes the craic was so good you almost didn't want to leave to go to the bedrooms.

The only thing that might annoy people were if you were to play by yourselves and hog one of the bedrooms for most of the night. Normally when the door is closed then whoever is in there doesnt want to have an audience. So be mindful of that. "

These are the tips people need and appreciate

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By *HandDNCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"We've hosted a few parties and attended more over the years. The social element was always the key ingredient for people to relax and play or not play. So just by being there and engaging in conversation you're helping the party be a success. Sometimes the craic was so good you almost didn't want to leave to go to the bedrooms.

The only thing that might annoy people were if you were to play by yourselves and hog one of the bedrooms for most of the night. Normally when the door is closed then whoever is in there doesnt want to have an audience. So be mindful of that.

These are the tips people need and appreciate "

I remember our first one that we attended. It got to the stage of the evening where all the ladies changed into something more comfortable. Since I didn't know any better I stripped down to my boxers, which apparently meant I was ready for action. 5 of them invited (dragged) me to the bedroom to have their way with me. I'm sure I would have complained but one of them was sitting on my face .

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane


"We've hosted a few parties and attended more over the years. The social element was always the key ingredient for people to relax and play or not play. So just by being there and engaging in conversation you're helping the party be a success. Sometimes the craic was so good you almost didn't want to leave to go to the bedrooms.

The only thing that might annoy people were if you were to play by yourselves and hog one of the bedrooms for most of the night. Normally when the door is closed then whoever is in there doesnt want to have an audience. So be mindful of that.

These are the tips people need and appreciate

I remember our first one that we attended. It got to the stage of the evening where all the ladies changed into something more comfortable. Since I didn't know any better I stripped down to my boxers, which apparently meant I was ready for action. 5 of them invited (dragged) me to the bedroom to have their way with me. I'm sure I would have complained but one of them was sitting on my face .

"

Aren't you lucky? taking notes here...

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal


"We've hosted a few parties and attended more over the years. The social element was always the key ingredient for people to relax and play or not play. So just by being there and engaging in conversation you're helping the party be a success. Sometimes the craic was so good you almost didn't want to leave to go to the bedrooms.

The only thing that might annoy people were if you were to play by yourselves and hog one of the bedrooms for most of the night. Normally when the door is closed then whoever is in there doesnt want to have an audience. So be mindful of that.

These are the tips people need and appreciate

I remember our first one that we attended. It got to the stage of the evening where all the ladies changed into something more comfortable. Since I didn't know any better I stripped down to my boxers, which apparently meant I was ready for action. 5 of them invited (dragged) me to the bedroom to have their way with me. I'm sure I would have complained but one of them was sitting on my face .

"

Shocking, the things we men have to endure on here

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By *HandDNCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

We've been quiet for the last couple of years so I hope the party scene is still going well. For anyone that attended the mansion parties with the basement bar, they were wild and lasted a couple of days, especially if you had one of the bedrooms in the house.

We organised one where a group of us rented a few houses for the weekend at a golf course, Friday was chilled, I cooked for everyone on the Saturday and we partied til the early hours.

They're a great to get to know people on the scene and if you haven't been to one yet I'd urge everyone to try it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I remember our first one that we attended. It got to the stage of the evening where all the ladies changed into something more comfortable. Since I didn't know any better I stripped down to my boxers, which apparently meant I was ready for action. 5 of them invited (dragged) me to the bedroom to have their way with me. I'm sure I would have complained but one of them was sitting on my face .

"

Great story I've only been to one party and the 'ladies dress-down' moment didn't sit easy with me when I realised it was only ladies changing and not the men - so I hope you are a trend setter

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By *HandDNCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"

I remember our first one that we attended. It got to the stage of the evening where all the ladies changed into something more comfortable. Since I didn't know any better I stripped down to my boxers, which apparently meant I was ready for action. 5 of them invited (dragged) me to the bedroom to have their way with me. I'm sure I would have complained but one of them was sitting on my face .

Great story I've only been to one party and the 'ladies dress-down' moment didn't sit easy with me when I realised it was only ladies changing and not the men - so I hope you are a trend setter "

Considering it was over 10 years ago I doubt it however I promise if we host another party I'll add the stipulation that we have a mens dress down time so all the ladies can enjoy that moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/01/23 17:58:08]

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By *exysamXXXWoman
over a year ago

The Land of Make Believe

Love attending parties as there is never an expectation to play. I don't think I'd go if you had to play.

I like to make connections at these parties and if I have play it's because I want to not that I have to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions. judging by some replies some people really just love social side of it lol

I'm only here for the social side.

And there's a big difference between a social and a party. I've attended well over 20 socials at this stage and never played with anyone at or after the social lol "
I think the OP only mentioned paties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looking to get some fabbers views on whether this is a thing or not.

I'm an experienced fabber who has been missing for a while due to finding a relationship but recently she informed me she would be interested in fucking me at a sex party whilst others watched. But she has no interest in playing with others.

As its not something I can say I seen or noticed at a party previously, can I ask is it frowned upon to attend and not share or is all ok with this approach?

It may well be the case that she becomes more adventurous when in the moment but I thought I'd check peoples opinions. judging by some replies some people really just love social side of it lol

I'm only here for the social side.

And there's a big difference between a social and a party. I've attended well over 20 socials at this stage and never played with anyone at or after the social lol I think the OP only mentioned paties "

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