FabSwingers.com forum: Getting messages deleted/ignored

By *dam..Dub... OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Is anyone else getting a bit dishearten by the constant non replies and deleted messages. I am being very respectful and always reading profiles etc to make sure I'm the right person to message them I don't open with dic pics etc and

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?

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By *orny guy !Man
over a year ago

waterford / tipperary

"Is anyone else getting a bit dishearten by the constant non replies and deleted messages. I am being very respectful and always reading profiles etc to make sure I'm the right person to message them I don't open with dic pics etc and

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?"

It’s a tough slog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont worry about it bro, just keep at it and you'll eventually get numb to it and then boom you'll get lucky

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'm sure it can be very disheartening but just before you think you are the right person to message does not mean the person you message thinks the same.

The only advice really is that if it is having an effect on your mental health hide your profile and take a break for a little while.

You could join in the forums and or get to some of the mngs but that is not a guarantee either of helping you get more replies on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

8 weeks is nothing on Fab plus with the holidays people tend to meet less as they're busy with family stuff. You're quite young also which is a barrier for some. And, although on paper you might appear to be what people are looking for, if there's no attraction it doesn't matter how many of their boxes you tick.

If its getting to you, maybe take a break for a while, or try a different approach...perhaps try an organised social or as you're in London give a club a whirl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All your travelling probably isn't helping.

But in general if unread messages is gonna get you down down I'd advise against sending them. Go to socials or clubs instead

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By *dam..Dub... OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Thanks everyone. I get that peohave preferences etc and I'm going to understand that.

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Ballsbridge, City Centre

Toughen up kiddo, this game is 99% rejection

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
over a year ago

sligo

Join the club buddy

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By *mperiumMan
over a year ago

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?"

You'll be grand fella.

Play it cool.

The ladies love when you play it cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you in the UK or Ireland?

First off your 26 which is quite young and a lot of people have age limits.

If you are in the UK get yourself to clubs and socials. Get involved on the forums especially the lounge if in the UK.

And 8 weeks is only a short time

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
over a year ago

sligo

[Removed by poster at 06/01/23 21:55:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP .. it's not easy for guys here so many men less women .. but stay positive chat on the forums people will get to know your personality, and look out for the social threads

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
over a year ago

sligo

"I'm sure it can be very disheartening but just before you think you are the right person to message does not mean the person you message thinks the same.

The only advice really is that if it is having an effect on your mental health hide your profile and take a break for a little while.

You could join in the forums and or get to some of the mngs but that is not a guarantee either of helping you get more replies on here. "

Very good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?"

It's fab tbh , that kinda thing happens all the time , the most important thing is DO NOT let it bother you , your mental health is WAY more important than getting a message from a total stranger on the internet, if they're interested they will reply ..if not ..don't let it bother you ..like l said your mental health is WAY more important than hoping to get a reply ...always keep it fun ..never chase anyone ..ever ..if they're interested .. they're interested..if not ..just say to yourself..hey..so what .

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
over a year ago

sligo

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?

Well said

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

It takes time, OP. However, fab can be a frustrating place for all so don’t get disheartened yet. Get involved and invest the time in participating in the forums and learning the site.

Contrary to expectations, it’s probably harder to find someone to play with here than in civvie street (pulling at a club is easier than fab!), but you’ll have a different kind of experience once you find the right partner/s and that can’t be found elsewhere.

Fab is like the military, 90% boredom and then 10% dangerous furious close quarters engagement where you try to avoid friendly fire, but adrenaline gets you through.

From a profile perspective, your bio is great so good start. Pics could use work tbh. Don’t have to be nude but look at the top male pictures for ideas, use your timer, try different positions, and play with your picture filters. You’ll be surprised at what you can do with a simple smartphone.

Best of luck, give it time, and if it isn’t working or your frustrated, then walk away for a bit. Frustration and desperation show in messages and will put people off so take a knee before it gets to that point.

Rhett and Scarlett x

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By *ndqtMan
over a year ago

The Wild West

Chat on the forums like has been suggested and when messaging keep them short and respectful.

Chatting on the forums should be a major help to you though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the world of a single male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your day is night alone (hold on hold on)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chat on the forums like has been suggested and when messaging keep them short and respectful.

Chatting on the forums should be a major help to you though"

And I even to him lol

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By *ndqtMan
over a year ago

The Wild West

"Chat on the forums like has been suggested and when messaging keep them short and respectful.

Chatting on the forums should be a major help to you though

And I even to him lol"

Classic example here... I'm like a magnet for her

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By *jwexladMan
over a year ago

new ross

Couldn’t agree more, 3months now and I still haven’t had one meet… maybe 4 -5 messages replied to

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Worse thing is when you send a nice respectful message after reading their profile in which they say they want respectful messages and you get blocked for no reason whatsoever. You are at a complete loss for what you did.

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By *mperiumMan
over a year ago

"Worse thing is when you send a nice respectful message after reading their profile in which they say they want respectful messages and you get blocked for no reason whatsoever. You are at a complete loss for what you did. "

It is possible that they just didn't like your photo, bio or message.

I have seen women receive hundreds (300+) messages in a single day.

There are also lots of guys who will send multiple messages when no reply is received, this may be why some people decide to block anybody that they don't have an interest in, to prevent constant messaging.

So don't take it personally if some are read and deleted and blocked.

It can take alot to stand out from the crowd.... And sometimes very little

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Ah sure look..

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork

Exactly what Imperium said.. the block function is often used as a personal filtering tool - it's not a personal jab at you mate xx

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

It is possible that they just didn't like your photo, bio or message.

I have seen women receive hundreds (300+) messages in a single day.

So don't take it personally if some are read and deleted and blocked.

It can take alot to stand out from the crowd.... And sometimes very little "
I'm not willing to bend over backwards and be a lick arse on here but you should do well on here. If people don't like me for me that's their loss.

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By *mperiumMan
over a year ago

" I'm not willing to bend over backwards and be a lick arse on here but you should do well on here. If people don't like me for me that's their loss. "

Well now technically it IS your loss too.

If you're not willing to lick ass you ain't gonna get far

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

It's never for no reason whatsoever.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

You're not for them....its much easier to block and forget about you

Just because they say they want respectful messages doesn't mean they want them from everyone

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By *amsevenMan
over a year ago

cork

I get ya op. My solution was i stopped messaging people. Incredibly frustrating. Last convo I had was initiated by a lady. But replys were one or two word responses from her. She asked for my number and I never again heard from her.

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork

"I get ya op. My solution was i stopped messaging people. "

Perfectly valid and sometimes you need to protect your sanity on here.

A lot of guys get super butthurt over rejection/no-replies... it happens to *all* of us, not just the single lads. You can't expect everyone to want to fuck you

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

" I'm not willing to bend over backwards and be a lick arse on here but you should do well on here.

Why should people do well on here? That's like saying people on dating apps should absolutely find the relationship they're looking for.

OP it's a tough one alright. And can be very disheartening if you let it be.

We've all been 'rejected' on here at some point as someone pointed out.

If you feel you can't handle that, perhaps fab isn't the route you should be taking?

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By *XlalaXXWoman
over a year ago

tipperary

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?"

I’m in Dublin tonight having some drinks with some fab friends

Come say hello

Have a drink

Get verified

It’s very informal casual so don’t be stressed

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By *XlalaXXWoman
over a year ago

tipperary

"I get ya op. My solution was i stopped messaging people. Incredibly frustrating. Last convo I had was initiated by a lady. But replys were one or two word responses from her. She asked for my number and I never again heard from her. "

Was that me lolllllllllll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?

You'll be grand fella.

Play it cool.

The ladies love when you play it cool

They really don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you sign up you accept that no reply means no interest and not to badger, that’s just the way it is.

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By *mperiumMan
over a year ago

They really don’t "

Different strokes

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By *andY80Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

Nah not really, think tinder, not everyone will swap right on you.

And the deleted messages well, when you get a lot of them you eventually have to remove some so you can find yourself, lol

Just keep putting yourself out there and don't let it get to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op - it sounds like you’re doing all the right things, and I get that it can be disheartening, but you have to remember that women on here can get hundreds of messages, and it just isn’t possible to reply to them all.

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By *s979Man
over a year ago

same

Perseverance,and follow what appeals to you.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Events are your best bet... unless you're really ugly/an arsehole in person, in while case stick to online

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Events are your best bet... unless you're really ugly/an arsehole in person, in while case stick to online

It's like my mother used to tell me.. "always be yourself Michael, unless you're a cunt. In that case, just pretend to be someone else"

Mammy was smart like that.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"Events are your best bet... unless you're really ugly/an arsehole in person, in while case stick to online

It's like my mother used to tell me.. "always be yourself Michael, unless you're a cunt. In that case, just pretend to be someone else"

Mammy was smart like that. "

Yeah she's a smart lady, not a bad bod on her too

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Events are your best bet... unless you're really ugly/an arsehole in person, in while case stick to online

It's like my mother used to tell me.. "always be yourself Michael, unless you're a cunt. In that case, just pretend to be someone else"

Mammy was smart like that.

Yeah she's a smart lady, not a bad bod on her too

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By *amsevenMan
over a year ago

cork

Was that me lolllllllllll"

Haha. No that wasn't you. You have been pretty sound

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

I think you need to understand that a reply is not cumpulsory and if a message gets deleted its not a rejection of you but a rejection of the idea of you.! It's always nice to get a reply even if its a no thank you. There is probably 100 guys on here for every one woman who's looking for a guy so just take it as it comes and don't take it personally!

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By *alwayguy2020Man
over a year ago

near trien

What other sites are out there that are similar to fab? Ask for a friend

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"What other sites are out there that are similar to fab? Ask for a friend

None that are as good... and none that those who pay for the upkeep of this site would like you chatting about on their forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always put effort into messages. I get people have preferences and a life but fuck me it's getting to me. Anyone else?"

The struggle is fairly easy to overcome tbh

You just have to be devastatingly handsome, have a whopper of a langer AND manage to take a perfect photo every time. (Without looking like a weirdo obvs!)

THEN you have to sun up your whole reason for existing in a catchy and half amusing blurb.

It’s easy peasy and you’re right to be blaming yourself for the struggles ……. NOT

Keep the faith, Bro

The right person will be in touch

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By *acchus 101Man
over a year ago

blanchardstown

Rejection is a part of being a man

You’ve got to take that rejection and try to turn it into some kind of affection,then.. and only then you will get someone who might actually take your erection….

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
over a year ago

sligo

"Rejection is a part of being a man

You’ve got to take that rejection and try to turn it into some kind of affection,then.. and only then you will get someone who might actually take your erection…."

Poetic

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"8 weeks is nothing on Fab plus with the holidays people tend to meet less as they're busy with family stuff. You're quite young also which is a barrier for some. And, although on paper you might appear to be what people are looking for, if there's no attraction it doesn't matter how many of their boxes you tick.

If its getting to you, maybe take a break for a while, or try a different approach...perhaps try an organised social or as you're in London give a club a whirl"

Very nice honest reply

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont get wound up by it.

Just relax,and have fun.

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By *ingleStud85Man
over a year ago

Donegal

I don't take it personally, a sexy looking profile probably has a mountain of messages to deal with. If some hot profile messages back at all, very sound of her

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By *oolpinstripeMan
over a year ago

Kildare

Ye know, I’ve been on here for a few years now, have deleted my account and reopened several times. Very early on, one of my messages was read and replied to, and without much ado I found myself in a Cork hotel with a lady (happily married with a few children) who basically just wanted to throw caution to the wind and ‘let herself go’ as she put it. We only met once, but have remained long distance buddies, and basically swap messages over the phone every so often, for years now.

I thought Fab was Fab back then, and was under the impression it was always going to be like this.

That was the only ‘real’ meeting I’ve had on here over the years.

I have had chats and the odd (very odd) meet for a coffee, but apart from that it’s been a long torturous journey at times.

I’m used to it now, so it does not bother me.

As someone once said ‘what is for you won’t pass you by’

Patience is a Virtue..

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By *omtom1969Man
over a year ago

ashbourne

Too many men not enough women, it's that simple, o nd alot of women just love to be cunts ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too many men not enough women, it's that simple, o nd alot of women just love to be cunts , "

The number of men is only a very small factor. It wouldn't matter if there was 100 men or 1 man messaging, if there's no attraction it isn't happening.

What might improve the odds of having a message replied to would be if guys were less hungry and more discerning about who they message.

As for being cunts, that's a trait that isn't confined to the female demographic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too many men not enough women, it's that simple, o nd alot of women just love to be cunts ,

The number of men is only a very small factor. It wouldn't matter if there was 100 men or 1 man messaging, if there's no attraction it isn't happening.

What might improve the odds of having a message replied to would be if guys were less hungry and more discerning about who they message.

As for being cunts, that's a trait that isn't confined to the female demographic "

I find sending face pictures can be a bit misleading as there's only one way to see if there is an attraction or chemistry with someone is to actually meet someone.

Ok, yes it's time wasted if there is no attraction, but if there is.....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course some women are cunts.

They would be cunts regardless of ratios though.

And the same guys now who will tell all 50 of them they are the greatest thing on the planet would also still do that if there was 5000 women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get loads of ignored mails and deleted messages. I’d say I’m a pretty good looking guy but I’m just one of hundreds of mails girls on here get everyday so it’s hard to take it personally. Biggest tip is accept it graciously and don’t be a dick by hounding them.

To any of the lovely women who have responded to me and given me a chance thank you and you know who you are

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I don't send messages but I remember once someone saying that the best thing to do is delete them once you send them so you're not always wondering and waiting for a reply

Seems like a good idea

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By *angorguyMan
over a year ago

bangor

Simple fact is its the downside to a fre site. Single men outnumber single women by a ridiculous number. Last I heard it was 30:1

So if that's remotely true competition here is crazy. I use other sites not particularly like this one, and have far better luck than here. Try the one with plenty of fish in the sea or the one called after type of bee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too many men not enough women, it's that simple, o nd alot of women just love to be cunts ,

The number of men is only a very small factor. It wouldn't matter if there was 100 men or 1 man messaging, if there's no attraction it isn't happening.

What might improve the odds of having a message replied to would be if guys were less hungry and more discerning about who they message.

As for being cunts, that's a trait that isn't confined to the female demographic

I find sending face pictures can be a bit misleading as there's only one way to see if there is an attraction or chemistry with someone is to actually meet someone.

Ok, yes it's time wasted if there is no attraction, but if there is.....?"

As shallow as it's going to sound, I'm 100% honest enough to admit that unless I find a person's face and body attractive - that is, attractive to me - I'm not going to fuck them. They might be perfectly lovely people but I don't have the time or inclination to have blind social meets with everyone who messages us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get loads of ignored mails and deleted messages. I’d say I’m a pretty good looking guy but I’m just one of hundreds of mails girls on here get everyday so it’s hard to take it personally. Biggest tip is accept it graciously and don’t be a dick by hounding them.

To any of the lovely women who have responded to me and given me a chance thank you and you know who you are

Same here... 90 percent don't reply. I don't take it personally. but to any of the girls who do reply, thank you. seriously

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

"Too many men not enough women, it's that simple, o nd alot of women just love to be cunts ,

The number of men is only a very small factor. It wouldn't matter if there was 100 men or 1 man messaging, if there's no attraction it isn't happening.

What might improve the odds of having a message replied to would be if guys were less hungry and more discerning about who they message.

As for being cunts, that's a trait that isn't confined to the female demographic

I find sending face pictures can be a bit misleading as there's only one way to see if there is an attraction or chemistry with someone is to actually meet someone.

Ok, yes it's time wasted if there is no attraction, but if there is.....?

Exactly this. I'm no oil painting but I am predominantly here for sex and I won't get turned on by someone I don't find attractive, even guys with plenty of verifications saying how handsome they are. It's personal choice and preference.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

OP socials really are a good way to meet people. They sound a bit scary and daunting but I've found most of the people I've met at them to be lovely. The bonus is that you get to chat and meet a good few on the one night and then conversations and planning can follow on from that. Try not to get too disheartened, it's really not worth it

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Hardly ever message, then again, hardly ever meet, but for the record I do lick ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience, plenty of patience. It’s hard for new comers on this an lot of men on here too. Both women and couples get bombarded with messages all the time. Just have to hang in there an take the hits in the chin. Eventually people will get to know you.

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By *antasyFrolicksWoman
over a year ago

Behind The Bales

[Removed by poster at 08/01/23 13:48:20]

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By *antasyFrolicksWoman
over a year ago

Behind The Bales

I always try to make an effort to reply to most messages, even when the reply is a polite 'thanks, but no thanks'. However I have deleted messages after reading, or opened and not replied due to the vast amount of messages from those who quite clearly have not read my profile.

I can find it frustrating especially when you take the effort to clearly state what you want or don't want, and yet you still get messages which are in clear contradiction to your profile.

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By *unnerbenMan
over a year ago

Dublin / Cork

I know your pain . It’s just the life of single male on fab . Couples and women on here have so much choice and attention and there is so much competition for the lads to try get their attention. Just keep at it . Your luck has to change sometime

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"I know your pain . It’s just the life of single male on fab . Couples and women on here have so much choice and attention and there is so much competition for the lads to try get their attention. Just keep at it . Your luck has to change sometime "

Do they really?

well...I don't !my filters are pretty tight.

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By *unnerbenMan
over a year ago

Dublin / Cork

Do they really?

well...I don't !my filters are pretty tight."

Lol well I’m sure you still do even with limiting your choices

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