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Responding to cancellations/no shows : an organiser’s perspective

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By *asual777 OP   Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

Over the last 18 months I have had a number of cancellations and/or no shows when organising play and social meets . I tend to have different approaches to these . Some are understandable (plausible explanations , good amount of notice given where possible ) and at the other extreme I might block (no show with no word , implausible excuses). The ones in the middle can be tricky to decide over . Was someone so nervous that they were overcome ? Did the slight change in arrangements throw them ? And we all know that life gets in the way.

I suppose what the people carelessly not showing up often don’t appreciate (or maybe do but don’t care ) are the repercussions for the organiser and others. These might include financial impacts , and others who could have got invited missing out , amongst other things . A female might have a fantasy of her first time with 2 or 3 guys which she misses out on. I remember organising a social which looked excellent with the 9 who confirmed but was much more subdued as only 4 came. Those attending had travelled for over an hour to get there .

I am interested in the views of those who organise , but even more in the views of those who chose to not show up without a reasonable amount of notice . I know the likelihood of publicly posting about this is not that high ! But , Did last minute nerves get in the way ? Did something about the event or the host lead to red flags ? Or did you want to get a place but actually couldn’t realistically make it on reflection ? What made you not go when you said you would ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only organised very informal socials but the last one I did, I made notes on any profile that asked to go, was giving details and didn't show or even reply to the message.

I've spoken to other hosts and they keep note of the messes and time wasters.

As for parties etc, manners cost nothing, if you can't go whether it's nerves etc just act like an adult and cancel.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Nothing worse than messers not showing . If I book a party I go unless maybe bad weather . I went to a few parties and drove for miles to attend . Unless you give an excuse in reasonable time . I would block them .

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

No excuse for messing people around.

Feel the fear and do it anyway ... if that's your reason for not going

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

No shows get banned.

Last minute (lame excuse) cancellations banned

I used to keep a spreadsheet of everyone who no showed etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This place is full of Timewasters and ghosters, couch surfers who want compliments for their ego and never have any intention of meeting but unfortunately you never find that out until the time or you have wasted time chatting , you don't know the end result ..but they know all along .

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

If there is a reasonable explanation then as you said I've no issue at all. And not last last minute. But I'm aware things happen. So if I believe the person I don't have any issue at all. If I got a hotel or whatever and got stood up if be more inclined to never contact again. People's time is valuable and should be respected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the more reason for people organizing a meet/social/play event should have their own forum

As for us our opinion is we get it that a lot of planning goes into organizing an event,but life happens what might be possible today is not possible tomorrow,

We’ve never attend an event yet for the simple reason it’s not why we joined fab

We were close too attending a social in Kilkenny as attending one in Cork is not for us,but unfortunately a member of our family fell ill so it wasn’t possible

We txt the host lost our money in the hotel that we had booked ,no fault of the host may I add he was extremely sympathetic in fairness to him and we’d definitely love to attend one of his future events

Sorry for the long txt but sometimes people really need to take into account that people do have a life off fab and things can happen

L&S

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area


"All the more reason for people organizing a meet/social/play event should have their own forum

As for us our opinion is we get it that a lot of planning goes into organizing an event,but life happens what might be possible today is not possible tomorrow,

We’ve never attend an event yet for the simple reason it’s not why we joined fab

We were close too attending a social in Kilkenny as attending one in Cork is not for us,but unfortunately a member of our family fell ill so it wasn’t possible

We txt the host lost our money in the hotel that we had booked ,no fault of the host may I add he was extremely sympathetic in fairness to him and we’d definitely love to attend one of his future events

Sorry for the long txt but sometimes people really need to take into account that people do have a life off fab and things can happen

L&S"
True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to organise a coffee meet in portlaoise bogman helped me only 5 turned up..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/12/22 22:36:28]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Fuck em. If they can't turn up when they say thay can then they are time wasters and don't deserve a second chance. This scene is FULL of fantasists who take the spots of genuine people. If you don't turn up then that's it. Done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck em. If they can't turn up when they say thay can then they are time wasters and don't deserve a second chance. This scene is FULL of fantasists who take the spots of genuine people. If you don't turn up then that's it. Done"

Or they don’t buy a ticket too a certain event mmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck em. If they can't turn up when they say thay can then they are time wasters and don't deserve a second chance. This scene is FULL of fantasists who take the spots of genuine people. If you don't turn up then that's it. Done"

Totally agree with ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to organise a meet in a local hotel it was set up on a chat group.. plenty wanted to join only 4 of us showed up .. the person who booked the room was left out of pocket.. so never again

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By *aChurchCouple
over a year ago

not near

We have held a multitude of play parties, on the whole 90% turn up. But we are selective and we only allow profiles that are well verified or we have had recommendations from other profiles we know well. For newbies on their first party we chat with them on the phone. We tell them then that its not for everyone and nerves "will kick in" but just be honest. Tell us its not for you this time, we understand. We do say if your not going to show, its just polite to tell us. No hard feelings. We Don't want to know why you won't show, we just want to know if you will or will not. Then we are not left wondering all night have you gone to the neighbours house. Have you got lost. Did you crash on way here.. as hosts of parties, we also like to relax and enjoy the company and fun.. so in over 50 parties pre covid, we have just had maybe 5 profiles that went ghost on us.. for those, notes were put on profiles.. then we can keep track.

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

And no matter what, even if you can't go because your nerves got the better of you, I'd rather get a short message saying that they have to cancel rather than being ghosted and/or even worse left standing at agreed location.

And lads, we are not stupid, if you say you couldn't go online to message for some reason or another, remember we can see when you were on fab last. So cut out the bullshit. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the more reason for people organizing a meet/social/play event should have their own forum

As for us our opinion is we get it that a lot of planning goes into organizing an event,but life happens what might be possible today is not possible tomorrow,

We’ve never attend an event yet for the simple reason it’s not why we joined fab

We were close too attending a social in Kilkenny as attending one in Cork is not for us,but unfortunately a member of our family fell ill so it wasn’t possible

We txt the host lost our money in the hotel that we had booked ,no fault of the host may I add he was extremely sympathetic in fairness to him and we’d definitely love to attend one of his future events

Sorry for the long txt but sometimes people really need to take into account that people do have a life off fab and things can happen

L&S"

Yes life happens and most people have manners to let the hosts know, it's the fantasist that talk the talk etc but than are a no show with no explanation. Its the same with even organising a social, I chatted to a guy fir a few months offered to meet in Enniskillen over an hour drive for me, was half way there got text oh I'm too tired from work. He got a 2nd chance to meet while I was in belfast was to meet at half 11, no word by 11am, got a text at 2pm saying he'd fallen asleep. 3rd time well.that didn't happen either.

Its not hard to text and say I've changed my mind etc, as I said above manners cost nothing. I've often thought of organising a weekend social, group of fabbers in an air bnb would be people I know but I'm so weary of getting landed with the cost of the accommodation I won't do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the more reason for people organizing a meet/social/play event should have their own forum

As for us our opinion is we get it that a lot of planning goes into organizing an event,but life happens what might be possible today is not possible tomorrow,

We’ve never attend an event yet for the simple reason it’s not why we joined fab

We were close too attending a social in Kilkenny as attending one in Cork is not for us,but unfortunately a member of our family fell ill so it wasn’t possible

We txt the host lost our money in the hotel that we had booked ,no fault of the host may I add he was extremely sympathetic in fairness to him and we’d definitely love to attend one of his future events

Sorry for the long txt but sometimes people really need to take into account that people do have a life off fab and things can happen

L&S

Yes life happens and most people have manners to let the hosts know, it's the fantasist that talk the talk etc but than are a no show with no explanation. Its the same with even organising a social, I chatted to a guy fir a few months offered to meet in Enniskillen over an hour drive for me, was half way there got text oh I'm too tired from work. He got a 2nd chance to meet while I was in belfast was to meet at half 11, no word by 11am, got a text at 2pm saying he'd fallen asleep. 3rd time well.that didn't happen either.

Its not hard to text and say I've changed my mind etc, as I said above manners cost nothing. I've often thought of organising a weekend social, group of fabbers in an air bnb would be people I know but I'm so weary of getting landed with the cost of the accommodation I won't do it "

If it is for us then so be it if we can attend we will regardless of prices if a couple/single decided they can not give them a break ffs

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By *nwrap4funMan
over a year ago

Ireland


"This place is full of Timewasters and ghosters, couch surfers who want compliments for their ego and never have any intention of meeting but unfortunately you never find that out until the time or you have wasted time chatting , you don't know the end result ..but they know all along . "

Have to agree

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