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Girls, guys where am I going wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Jesus I know I’m setting myself up for an absolute ripping in the comment section here but I’ll risk

About 2/3 weeks ago I go on holiday and meet a swinger. She shows me fab in a bar and my mind is blown. I absolutely love sex and the beautiful experience of it. (When done right!)

So I’m like most of us, I’m addicted to fab for the first few days. Checking everything. I know getting myself verified is important so I do that. DMing, checking party updates etc

I go home to Dublin, went to a meet and it WAS SKETCH. Like “come in, my doors unopen, fuck and leave” sketch

I’ve always wanted to live a swingers lifestyle deep in my heart so here’s my chance.

Till I find 97% of the ladies here won’t get near me because I’m 23. I am very mature, I dress well. I literally prefer the company of 30 year olds. I’m not like the other weirdos on here who’ll throw a dick pic at you unless asked

I’d even go down to bisexual town with a couple if I could but nope. Is it guilt? Too young?

I don’t know, I wanna swing but I feel like I’ll have to come back in 2-5 years to even have a chance.

Any advice for this young, amateur swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The swinging part I can't help you with as the lifestyle isn't of any interest to me.

As for fab itself a few thinh that might help.

Patience first and foremost you have just started don't be in such a rush. It will come off as puahu and desperate. Get involved on the forum look out for socials etc...

There is a help a fabber out thread on here that tries to connect newbies with verified users for a coffee social to meet up.

Respect people's preferences about age. If they don't want to meet someone so young you trying to convince them how mature you are again comes off as desperate and or pushy, and worse unrespectful of boundaries which is a big thing in swinging.

The other thing is you have a pic of a women on your profile and from your description she clearly isn't a fabber so does she know your using the pic for this? That will be another red flag for alot of peeple

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By *exesrangerMan
over a year ago

city

I'm a creep ,

I'm a weirdo,

What the hell am I doin here,

I don't belong here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I respect the blunt honestly, but yep fair points

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin, Belfast

Bear is homosexual slang for a big hairy man so your username may be problematic

Tbh the whole post seems a bit too well worded to be authentic, but I’m fairly cynical

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Apart from the advice already given you'll find that virtue signalling never works.

Claiming to be genuine, nice or not like all the weirdos throwing dick pics will backfire.

You're here 2 weeks which is a blink of an eye so you need patience more than any other quality.

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

It's been two weeks, patience cub. The world of swinging is full of different things,you state your as kinky as anything but ran from what you deemed a sketchy meet. Keep an open mind and put a few more pictures up. Go to a social or a coffee meet. Plenty of young people on here that get meets. Enjoy fab but don't rush it,its not tender!

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By *uliebulie14Woman
over a year ago

mallow

i think no theres room for all ages . i like a younger man myself . been honest i like all men ha ha but a younger man i would go for on this time and time again if i could so head up . room for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people here have lied about age anyway and even change it to suit people they want to meet so it’s not that important to most people . Your black and white pic looks very fake just so u know . Like everyone said get into the socials and meet people there in person and your age won’t matter .

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

You're in Dublin so in a better position to attend the many social events than us Culchies (hotel prices etc).

Get out and meet people face to face at these events.

As mentioned, you'll need lots of patience but once (IF) you get known and trusted, the invites will come

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"Your black and white pic looks very fake just so u know ."

It's not showing anything up on Tineye so it's probably his alright.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Expressing on your profile that you are looking for help, and expressing frustrations... isn't helping you.

You don't really say what you have to offer to a woman or a couple.

You need to build up your confidence and speak your truth without emphasis on the bad stuff. Focus on what YOU have to offer and why they should pick you over the many many others.

Your are already at a disadvantage as a young bi man as that will count you out for many people.

It's not easy or fast, so join the community, put yourself out there, and express some personality.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what? Who knows what works and what doesn't. Tbh it's down to luck and being in the right place at the right time.

You can follow all the rules about sending messages. What pictures to put on your profile. How to word your profile. But it's still gonna be a slog and you'll probably want to give up multiple times.

Try to get a veri. From someone who is already established here. One veri like that is better than 3 or 4 veris from others who have one veri also from unknowns.thats my feeling on it anyway.

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By *emper-fudgeMan
over a year ago

Blackrock

Fair play to you for asking, i have learned through trial and error over the years(i am shamed to admit my profile pic used to be my dick..)

Few points.

1. Your profile descrption is an essay...short and sweet

2. For every girl/couple on here there are 200-300 males... most of those males will never meet anyone.

3.while not judging your sexual preferences saying you will fuck guys and Tvs puts alot of couples and girls off,

4. Your pics need to be a bit better , and tbh you should be sending face pics with each message(most women and couples get hundereds of messages so you need to stand out)

5. Most impoftantly , be consistant and reliable when it comes to communications. If you make plans stick to them, and be prepared for people to cancel last minute.

6 logistics..can you host or travel

Pm me if you want any more mate

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By *yche_xWoman
over a year ago

nearby

A few have mentioned that you saying your bi on your profile is going to add hurdles. Personally being Bi, in my opinion, is a bonus.

That just goes to show that you can take all the advice you want and get peoples preferences, but at the end of the day just make your profile who you are, and what you want.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"A few have mentioned that you saying your bi on your profile is going to add hurdles. Personally being Bi, in my opinion, is a bonus.

That just goes to show that you can take all the advice you want and get peoples preferences, but at the end of the day just make your profile who you are, and what you want. "

For some reason the rampant biphobia on here only applies to men.

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Struggling to reconcile the “I am very mature” and “SKETCH” parts of the post.

Advice would be to compare your profile and offering to the single male profiles with many verifications, perhaps with those in your age bracket. A (self) critical eye may be required - usually something women are cursed with and most men are incapable of.

Good luck with your search for answers.

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By *ilverfox74Man
over a year ago

dublin offaly

Just be yourself. That’s all it takes. Meets take time. Some are here over a year and no verification. Take your time. Time is on your side. Don’t make here your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be hard work here being Bisexual as mentioned already different people have different reactions to that piece

Follow the suggestions that are offered socials etc

It's like being a first year in school ya have to build credibility..its not a sex site it's a people's site....

Best of luck

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