FabSwingers.com forum: No show

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I had a status up about being stood up last night and to avoid this person. Today another woman messages saying I can't do that that no one owes me the ride and people can change their mind (obviously) and blocked me lol

My question is why shouldn't I make a status about it? We chatted we agreed to meet, I booked a hotel room which isn't cheap. "She" stayed in contact the whole time telling me she was getting ready, told me she'd be here at a time, told me she was on the way, that she couldn't wait for me to see what she was wearing and then at the die time I went to message her and I was blocked. So a complete and total waste of my time and money.

I wouldn't make a status if someone said they can't come, changed mind etc but that wasn't the case.

I see women naming men here all the time who are no shows or creeps etc. So why should it be any different for me it any man?

Since I made the status a few other men said she's done the same or similar.

Seems "she" never had any intention of meeting, probably sat at home the entire time.

Why should I get stick for talking about it in a status?

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"So I had a status up about being stood up last night and to avoid this person. Today another woman messages saying I can't do that that no one owes me the ride and people can change their mind (obviously) and blocked me lol

I wouldn't make a status if someone said they can't come, changed mind etc but that wasn't the case.

I see women naming men here all the time who are no shows or creeps etc. So why should it be any different for me it any man?

Since I made the status a few other men said she's done the same or similar.

Seems "she" never had any intention of meeting, probably sat at home the entire time.

Why should I get stick for talking about it in a status? "

Shit happens!!!

Not nice though...

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By *ukeM8519Man
over a year ago

North West & Dublin

Was there any video call or phone conversation before hand or all just messaging on Fab?

Where the pictures been sent clear and recent etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it happens people really don't give a flying fuck that they've wasted your time and money. Happened to me few times start of my Fab career to be let down as soon as I checked in. That's why I kinda try to stick to meetings at parties and socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens a lot actually. Best to make actual contacts in person at the socials or even vanilla as I see you have attended. Good luck x

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

To minimise those kinds of shitty happenings it's always best to meet a person for a cup of coffee/social first before making any commitments or spending money on hotels.

As horny as the idea of meeting a stranger to straight up have sex with them might be - there's a strong chance that that stranger won't show up or show up and you won't like each other that as much as it seemed in text.

Social social social!

Missus

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

You should report the profile for a start

Agreed its a shitty thing to do and someone possibly even a man is getting their kicks from it including reading this now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it happens, as for the person messaging giving out leave them off. Report the person who messed up about, it's shit when it happens and especially when you book a hotel room.

One of the reasons I insist on a social first is to see will the person actually turn up. Recently chatted a guy , had arranged to meet 3 times, first time he was too tired after night shift, than the flu and an emergency dental appointment appeared, it seems I'm a number of women he's done the same too.

Hope the hotel was nice though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it happens people really don't give a flying fuck that they've wasted your time and money. Happened to me few times start of my Fab career to be let down as soon as I checked in. That's why I kinda try to stick to meetings at parties and socials. "

Yeah I don't think I'll ever arrange a meet with an unverified profile again total pox like.

Grinds my gears that another woman then blocks me after saying no one owes me a ride haha as if that was the case.

I'm a genuine a lovely guy I was obviously upset by it yeah but I wouldn't be the type to throw my toys out of the pram if it was as simple as someone didn't want to meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should report the profile for a start

Agreed its a shitty thing to do and someone possibly even a man is getting their kicks from it including reading this now "

That's what I'm thinking at this point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She shouldn't be burnt on a stake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To minimise those kinds of shitty happenings it's always best to meet a person for a cup of coffee/social first before making any commitments or spending money on hotels.

Social social social!

Missus "

I'd have to agree with you now I suppose I learned the hard way but lesson learned indeed! Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it happens, as for the person messaging giving out leave them off. Report the person who messed up about, it's shit when it happens and especially when you book a hotel room.

Hope the hotel was nice though"

Seems people like the idea or the fantasy of a meet but when something materialises they head the road

Sorry to hear that's happened you three times the once was enough for me

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Unverified is a big red flag also op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To minimise those kinds of shitty happenings it's always best to meet a person for a cup of coffee/social first before making any commitments or spending money on hotels.

Social social social!

Missus "

Socials are great way to suss people out. But I had coffee socials with every single guy that didn't bother to turn up. I tend to stick to friends or friends of friends or meet through socials now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some women get upset at status updates on here apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it happens, as for the person messaging giving out leave them off. Report the person who messed up about, it's shit when it happens and especially when you book a hotel room.

Hope the hotel was nice though

Seems people like the idea or the fantasy of a meet but when something materialises they head the road

Sorry to hear that's happened you three times the once was enough for me

Should have not given him a 2nd chance

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"To minimise those kinds of shitty happenings it's always best to meet a person for a cup of coffee/social first before making any commitments or spending money on hotels.

Social social social!

Missus

Socials are great way to suss people out. But I had coffee socials with every single guy that didn't bother to turn up. I tend to stick to friends or friends of friends or meet through socials now."

That is also true. Although I can't really relate as usually they don't turn up to the coffee meet itself

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

The reason you are not meant to name and shame in a status is that is could be lies. And I'm not saying it is but it is easy for people to name and shame people who for instance have just said no to them.

Not that I think this didn't happen to you op though. And it's a shit thing for that person to do and you have every right to be pissed off with them.

Why this other woman decided to message you is beyond me though and while yes everyone has a right to say no at any point and change their mind, basic manners would be that they would tell the other person rather than lead someone on right up to the time they are meant to meet. That's just someone being an arsehole and playing games.

All I can add is what others have said about having a social first and not to book a hotel for someone you haven't already met because chances are they may not show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see why someone would go out of their way to message you and abuse you about it.

But I also get the argument for not naming and shaming (male of female)

It's very easy for groups of people to gang up on someone they don't like for whatever reason, and male false claims

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The reason you are not meant to name and shame in a status is that is could be lies. And I'm not saying it is but it is easy for people to name and shame people who for instance have just said no to them.

Not that I think this didn't happen to you op though. And it's a shit thing for that person to do and you have every right to be pissed off with them.

All I can add is what others have said about having a social first and not to book a hotel for someone you haven't already met because chances are they may not show.

Yeah that's fair I totally understand that and I'm sure that it does happen there are some awful cretins on here from what I hear and will get abusive or make false statements etc of rejected. I can take rejection on the chin and move on that's no problem. As you said yes it was the leading on right to the last minute then boom blocked and no explanation that's what prompted me to make the status and as I said other men replied to say the same person has been at it before so i am glad I did in some way, maybe if even one man doesn't have to go through it because he's seen the status that's great.

Yeah lesson learned for sure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't see why someone would go out of their way to message you and abuse you about it.

But I also get the argument for not naming and shaming (male of female)

It's very easy for groups of people to gang up on someone they don't like for whatever reason, and male false claims "

I can understand that for sure yes! That's not my style though I'm not the tantrum type or the type to get angry if rejected so I assure you that isn't the case in this instance

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork

Hate no shows.....cant be dealing with timewasters

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

Ballsbridge, City Centre

Yeah I don't think I'll ever arrange a meet with an unverified profile again total pox like.

Grinds my gears that another woman then blocks me after saying no one owes me a ride haha as if that was the case.

I'm a genuine a lovely guy I was obviously upset by it yeah but I wouldn't be the type to throw my toys out of the pram if it was as simple as someone didn't want to meet"

Genuinely lovely guys don’t rant on the forums about not being to name and shame

Whilst standing people up is wrong, I think there was a bit of naivety on your part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you got cat fished at the least . Learn from it and have social meets before u run head first into a hotel booking . Plenty of fake profiles on here having a laugh

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By *iggtommy2000Man
over a year ago

Gorey

"Genuinely lovely guys don’t rant on the forums about not being to name and shame

Whilst standing people up is wrong, I think there was a bit of naivety on your part"

Feel bad that the guy got a room and whoever it was lead him on like that but... random hotel hookup, unverified profile, never met before. Red flags all over that!

If someone genuinely wants to they'll meet for a coffee first or even a video chat on WhatsApp. If they can't commit to that then defo don't go getting a hotel room. Hope it was nice anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genuinely lovely guys don’t rant on the forums about not being to name and shame

Whilst standing people up is wrong, I think there was a bit of naivety on your part

Feel bad that the guy got a room and whoever it was lead him on like that but... random hotel hookup, unverified profile, never met before. Red flags all over that!

If someone genuinely wants to they'll meet for a coffee first or even a video chat on WhatsApp. If they can't commit to that then defo don't go getting a hotel room. Hope it was nice anyway

Yeah I'll agree with you like and the poster above. Definitely naively went for that should have known better have been on the site for many years though have never had such an experience before have met lovely people on here both verified and not so took a chance. The way it was done was very much bad form though I'm fairness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I don't think I'll ever arrange a meet with an unverified profile again total pox like.

Grinds my gears that another woman then blocks me after saying no one owes me a ride haha as if that was the case.

I'm a genuine a lovely guy I was obviously upset by it yeah but I wouldn't be the type to throw my toys out of the pram if it was as simple as someone didn't want to meet

Genuinely lovely guys don’t rant on the forums about not being to name and shame

Whilst standing people up is wrong, I think there was a bit of naivety on your part"

If you're saying I'm not genuine and lovely I'm to inform you you're very much mistaken

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like you got cat fished at the least . Learn from it and have social meets before u run head first into a hotel booking . Plenty of fake profiles on here having a laugh

Yeah no for sure, learning point there!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway I guess my real question was just was I right or wrong to make a status update about it because that one person made me feel like I was some creep going off in some woman because she didn't want to have sex with me haha

not the case anyway and it was her loss if it was really a her

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By *ukeM8519Man
over a year ago

North West & Dublin

Most likely it was a man.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Anyway I guess my real question was just was I right or wrong to make a status update about it because that one person made me feel like I was some creep going off in some woman because she didn't want to have sex with me haha

not the case anyway and it was her loss if it was really a her

Naming and shaming is against site rules - for a reason.

Sorry to hear you were stood up. Definitely not a pleasant experience, and expensive if you booked a hotel.

Personally, I'd never go straight into a meet without meeting socially first - you just never know if there's going to be chemistry. Just because you got on via text, doesn't mean it'll translate to reality!

Wish you more success in the future

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not the case anyway and it was her loss if it was really a her

Thanks. I've had every success this is pretty much the first negative tbh.

I understand naming would be against rules considering people might lie or have agendas etc.

Though after someone legitimately fucks someone over like that or of course if she was a complete fake then people deserve to know. Too many ruining it for the few

Naming and shaming is against site rules - for a reason.

Sorry to hear you were stood up. Definitely not a pleasant experience, and expensive if you booked a hotel.

Wish you more success in the future

Mrs "

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Sorry to hear that OP

Just a quick tip that even verified profiles can be fake because all they need is a veri from another profile (usually the persons real profile) to give them the green tick.

We could have given out our phone number and face pic to a 'lady' who wanted to Whatsapp us last week. We never do either of course, but only through experience.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is

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By *unsigntwoCouple
over a year ago

athlone

"Sorry to hear that OP

Just a quick tip that even verified profiles can be fake because all they need is a veri from another profile (usually the persons real profile) to give them the green tick.

We could have given out our phone number and face pic to a 'lady' who wanted to Whatsapp us last week. We never do either of course, but only through experience.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is

Oh we had a that last week too and then they deleted their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens, got stood up at a social meet recently , they were actually pushing for it ,I went out of my way to make time ,arrived at the hotel had a drink and sat there for 45 mins , they had read my message that stated I was there...but no reply and profile hidden. So best advice is just block and move on.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It's shitty when something like that happens op but the nature of a site like this is that even if naming and shaming wasn't against site rules it will still reflect badly on you moreso than the person you are naming.

Negative statuses or forum posts no matter how well intentioned will turn a lot of people off if they feel someone is involved in or attracts too much drama.

Far better to report and block and cut your losses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah that's fair to say last two posters. Just block and get on with it.

Hopefully not too many think I'm all about drama. How wrong they'd be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No problem at all naming and shaming on a status,, I see plenty of women with statuses here naming men who are abusive so and sos and to avoid so a no show would be no problem..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it happens more than you think, don't let it put you off some genuine nice people here,

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Single woman… unverified… no social meet… the risk (hotel room cost) must have been acceptable to you at the time (excessive horniness). Caveat Emptor kind of applies in this instance.

We hate being stood up and have expressed our frustration in status updates - without naming profile - in the past. In one particular instance we were mistaken on the date of the meet so very lucky we didn’t name and do an injustice.

This obviously wasn’t the case for you but we agree with the private reporting rather than public shaming approach to avoid even inadvertent wronging profiles.

Just take the approach of ‘if it sounds too good to be true…….’

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No problem at all naming and shaming on a status,, I see plenty of women with statuses here naming men who are abusive so and sos and to avoid so a no show would be no problem.. "

This

When I see a woman naming a man saying no show or creep I don't think she's an entitled person or a bad person.

Just think "damn why would they stand you up"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's happened to me to lots off times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a no show earlier not from fab but a dating site no less.. Messers everywhere

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Just had a no show earlier not from fab but a dating site no less.. Messers everywhere "

Maybe they are on here and clocked it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a no show earlier not from fab but a dating site no less.. Messers everywhere

Maybe they are on here and clocked it

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a no show earlier not from fab but a dating site no less.. Messers everywhere

Maybe they are on here and clocked it

It was probably you dressed as a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No shows happen the whole time.

The reality is, there is a greater number of men here than women.

No matter what way you try it, your always going to come up short.

Block and move on. That's what I do because your damned if you do and double damned if you dont

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