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Counters are liable to be swept clear.... breakables really ought to be put away....  | |||
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"Toilet. Not just the seat but the whole toilet." Oh my god.... you had a real gusher huh? | |||
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"An antique four poster bed. Going for it hammer and tong when the lady suggested I be the one in handcuffs instead. A little out of my league given that I am not switch, I decided to go with it for a laugh. It was one of those teasing situations where I was helpless to move things along. She took great pleasure in edging me for what felt like an eternity and so when the fireworks eventually went off, the pent up frustration was a little explosive. I had wrapped my hands around the chain of each handcuff and must have pulled a little hard on them in that moment as a loud crack sounded through the room. We both froze in one of those, “oh crap,” moments, gazes locked together and in unison, slowly looking up to one of the posts to see it leaning toward us with a big crack right where the handcuff was attached. The next day, it was a rather sheepish discussion with the owner (there was absolutely no way to fake how it had broken) that resulted in a few days of wood turning to replace it, plus the temporary loss of money until the replacement was complete (with the latter being more expensive in time spent by the end lol)" Jeez you might just have another thread crown claimed on the embarrassment alone lol Can anyone top it? | |||
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"Expensive? No idea... valuable? My banjo string "Ohhhhh every guy just winced
I'm crossing my legs as I type | |||
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"Expensive? No idea... valuable? My banjo string "Nothing better than losing your foreskin because of the same type of accident | |||
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"Expensive? No idea... valuable? My banjo string
Nothing better than losing your foreskin because of the same type of accident "Oh my god....I just Kenny Everett'd the heck out of my legs | |||
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"Jeez you might just have another thread crown claimed on the embarrassment alone lol Can anyone top it?" Some of the stories from over the years make me cringe! | |||
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"Jeez you might just have another thread crown claimed on the embarrassment alone lol Can anyone top it? Some of the stories from over the years make me cringe! " Oh keep them coming, these are gold  | |||
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"Expensive? No idea... valuable? My banjo string
Nothing better than losing your foreskin because of the same type of accident
Oh my god....I just Kenny Everett'd the heck out of my legs
"As long as its all done in the best possible taste  | |||
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"Expensive? No idea... valuable? My banjo string
Nothing better than losing your foreskin because of the same type of accident
Oh my god....I just Kenny Everett'd the heck out of my legs
As long as its all done in the best possible taste "
You know it | |||
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"Oh keep them coming, these are gold "I’ll save the next one for an “embarrassing,” thread, it even topped the stripping incident
The banjo story wins though as it is expensive if you play the worth of experiences missed car whilst it healed lol. | |||
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"Oh keep them coming, these are gold
I’ll save the next one for an “embarrassing,” thread, it even topped the stripping incident
The banjo story wins though as it is expensive if you play the worth of experiences missed car whilst it healed lol. "Oh, get a thread started there sure | |||
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"Thing you've ruined, broken or destroyed during sexy shenanigans? Clothes? Furniture? Worse? I could not guarantee the survival of clothes today tbh.... the flame is burning hotter than hot
Counters are liable to be swept clear.... breakables really ought to be put away.... "Her innocence | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
"I believe you | |||
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"A bed. Cost €800 to replace (she paid) And a few quid for A&E for the dislocated shoulder. Good times "Your shoulder or hers | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
I believe you "I only eat vanilla ice-cream too | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
I believe you
I only eat vanilla ice-cream too "Well ffs now I know better... who ONLY eats vanilla | |||
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"A lot of damage to a car. FWB and I were going at it in the backseat, when we think we somehow knocked off the hand break, because we suddenly rolled half the length of the carpark. Dropped half into the ditch at the bottom, thankfully having managed to get untangled as we dried to stop the car. Suffice to say it killed the mood. " Lol funny but not Glad it was just a ditch and not a road etc | |||
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"A bed oops Hotel or home? Rented accommodation "Not so bad in so far as not having a bed but bad to be having to fess up | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
I believe you
I only eat vanilla ice-cream too
Well ffs now I know better... who ONLY eats vanilla "Try whizzing some peanut M&Ms through it  | |||
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"A lot of damage to a car. FWB and I were going at it in the backseat, when we think we somehow knocked off the hand break, because we suddenly rolled half the length of the carpark. Dropped half into the ditch at the bottom, thankfully having managed to get untangled as we dried to stop the car. Suffice to say it killed the mood. Lol funny but not Glad it was just a ditch and not a road etc" One of those things you can look back on and laugh, also make sure it doesn't happen again. | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
I believe you
I only eat vanilla ice-cream too
Well ffs now I know better... who ONLY eats vanilla
Try whizzing some peanut M&Ms through it "But then it's not plain vanilla technicality
I love crumbling Maryland Cookies up in mine soooo good | |||
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"I'm OCD - lights off, bedroom only, get undressed in the dark, fold clothes, missionary position "in and out" - cheap and cheerful, no accidents, no mess
I believe you
I only eat vanilla ice-cream too
Well ffs now I know better... who ONLY eats vanilla
Try whizzing some peanut M&Ms through it
But then it's not plain vanilla technicality
I love crumbling Maryland Cookies up in mine soooo good"I just personalize my vanilla sounds yum, added to the to try list... | |||
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"A mattress. Myself and what would be my GF for 5yrs after went out and then back to rented accommodation. I wanted to impress with massage but no baby oil available so I went to kitchen and grabbed sunflower oil. A very memorable slip sliding night ensued, without sex, just hours of foreplay, accompanied by more oil. The following morning we discovered why folks have rubber sheets! Mattress ruined and cost us a few hundred to replace. Regardless, the memories of that night still come back to me, so was worth every penny "Ah yes, the 'we'll clear it all up in the morning' late night inspiration 
You must have gotten through a serious amount of oil to ruin it  | |||
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"A mattress. Myself and what would be my GF for 5yrs after went out and then back to rented accommodation. I wanted to impress with massage but no baby oil available so I went to kitchen and grabbed sunflower oil. A very memorable slip sliding night ensued, without sex, just hours of foreplay, accompanied by more oil. The following morning we discovered why folks have rubber sheets! Mattress ruined and cost us a few hundred to replace. Regardless, the memories of that night still come back to me, so was worth every penny
Ah yes, the 'we'll clear it all up in the morning' late night inspiration
You must have gotten through a serious amount of oil to ruin it "i dont know about most expensive but most valuable, i broke my cock once lol, well someone else broke it | |||
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" i dont know about most expensive but most valuable, i broke my cock once lol, well someone else broke it "Jeez.... For something that is so very precious to all of you guys, there's a very high number of injuries | |||
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"Headboard. Was practically swinging out of it to gain more traction during a fine ride. Literally pulled it apart! "Ohhh.... worth it though, no doubt | |||
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"My marriage after I was caught with her friend. Long story!!" Ahem | |||
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" i dont know about most expensive but most valuable, i broke my cock once lol, well someone else broke it
Jeez....
For something that is so very precious to all of you guys, there's a very high number of injuries "it was incredibly painful for a while, disnt hold me bk though lol | |||
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"Was at wedding in Scotland years ago when I pulled a Scottish bird in a nightclub. Went back to hers around the corner. Going at it like rabbits when the bed completely buckled underneath us. Without stopping, we both finished and she turns to me and says that I am paying for the bed. As quick as a flash, I gather up my clothes and leg it (not the brightest thing I've done especially after lots of £1 vodka shots) only to realise later on I've left my phone at hers. So I had to go back, tail between my legs and she refused to give me my phone until I paid for some of the damages. Luckily I didn't have too much cash in my wallet. Gave her what was in it and bolted again, this time with phone in hand. Funny thing is, met her again the following night in same nightclub but brought her back to my hotel this time. Didn't break anything the 2nd time around." Sounds like stress tests are needed
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"A rabbit form Ann Summers while using it on camera in fab chat room. We only had ann summers at the time. I broke it in half and yes I did go back to the shop and asked if it could be repaired. They gave me a brand new one to replace. Told me to enjoy. "
Fair play for taking it back | |||
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"Headboard. Was practically swinging out of it to gain more traction during a fine ride. Literally pulled it apart!
Ohhh.... worth it though, no doubt "Ooh 100% worth it lol. Good chuckle afterwards too! | |||
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"A mattress. Myself and what would be my GF for 5yrs after went out and then back to rented accommodation. I wanted to impress with massage but no baby oil available so I went to kitchen and grabbed sunflower oil. A very memorable slip sliding night ensued, without sex, just hours of foreplay, accompanied by more oil. The following morning we discovered why folks have rubber sheets! Mattress ruined and cost us a few hundred to replace. Regardless, the memories of that night still come back to me, so was worth every penny
Ah yes, the 'we'll clear it all up in the morning' late night inspiration
You must have gotten through a serious amount of oil to ruin it "Almost the whole bottle! It was a long night. I was doing my best to make a good first impression | |||
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"A mattress. Myself and what would be my GF for 5yrs after went out and then back to rented accommodation. I wanted to impress with massage but no baby oil available so I went to kitchen and grabbed sunflower oil. A very memorable slip sliding night ensued, without sex, just hours of foreplay, accompanied by more oil. The following morning we discovered why folks have rubber sheets! Mattress ruined and cost us a few hundred to replace. Regardless, the memories of that night still come back to me, so was worth every penny
Ah yes, the 'we'll clear it all up in the morning' late night inspiration
You must have gotten through a serious amount of oil to ruin it
Almost the whole bottle! It was a long night. I was doing my best to make a good first impression " | |||
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"A few beds . Best being my bf at the time bunk beds . I had to try explain to his mother without telling her I was fucking her son. " Oh my, rather you than me
Do you think she believed a word lol? | |||
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"My parents sitting room table. My ex and I were in early 20s, and decided after a night out it be a great idea to do it on the table. " Ahahaha the morning after | |||
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"I smashed a Merano glass crystal chandelier that was hanging low over our bed in Venice, mid orgasm. We had to approach our holiday insurance company to have it out with them. Ugh. That was pricey. " 
Pricey is right | |||
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"a marble table shipped in from half way around the world..oops" Marble....how.....like..... Marble is really f'ing strong lol | |||
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"A bed. Cost €800 to replace (she paid) And a few quid for A&E for the dislocated shoulder. Good times
Your shoulder or hers "Mine | |||
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"A bed. Cost €800 to replace (she paid) And a few quid for A&E for the dislocated shoulder. Good times
Your shoulder or hers
Mine "Banjos, cocks and now shoulders | |||
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"A motorcycle stopped with girlfriend and having some good fun when the bike suddenly fell. She hurt her hand sprained it and the bike front and side fairings were scratched. I wanted to continue lol But she was done " Well a sprain would put a dampner on things 
On yer bike | |||
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"A motorcycle stopped with girlfriend and having some good fun when the bike suddenly fell. She hurt her hand sprained it and the bike front and side fairings were scratched. I wanted to continue lol But she was done Well a sprain would put a dampner on things
On yer bike "It was just her hand sprained FFS! There's more to a woman than just her hand! But I suspect that after the bike front and fairings were damaged, the poster had lost the pillion | |||
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"A few beds . Best being my bf at the time bunk beds . I had to try explain to his mother without telling her I was fucking her son. " Must be a Clare thing, not making the beds like they used to!!!! Had few bed malfunctions also.. | |||
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