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It's ok not to be ok

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By *ollypop9 OP   Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

I'm sure this has been done several times over, but I don't think it can be pointed out enough.

It crept up on me last week, between one thing and another by the end of the week I felt like screaming at someone but actually had the energy of a sloth.

Since then, I've spend any free time I've had hiding away in my room, overthinking and watching Netflix to occupy the mind.

Yes, I know, go for a walk, clears the head, try your hobbies, meet friends....

But sometimes, there is just no drive.

I know I'm over the worst, as the crying has stopped.

I also know that others suffer far worse and more frequent.

But I thought I put it here, for anyone who would like to add that they sometimes feel it too and for others who thought it's just them who feel like that, so they can read about it.

I'd like to add that I used to think of my kids and that helped me through, but now I also have my lovely fab friends and planned fab adventures, which are a goal to work towards....thank you x

Also, if you do feel like this there is no shame and please speak to a GP to maybe get some help.

Lollyx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer abd struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love you Lolly xx Im so glad you are feeling better! And well done on talking about such a tough issue...

It's ok to not be ok

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By *arcodeMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Until 2 years ago I thought I was a very strong person,but a lot has happened in these couple of years that I really struggled,you're right about talking to your GP,I've spoken to mine a few times and he's really helped,here's to a better future for all of us

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By *ondalingerMan
over a year ago

City center

Its ok not to be ok! I get the meaning. I think we are our worse critics. We beat ourselves up cos we aren't the joys of spring everyday. We will talk to someone on the phone and mutter the famous line " i dont know whats wrong with me today". Answer in a nutshell is NOTHING. DEPRESSION is an invisible sickness. Its horrible and we feel alone. We feel nobody understands. And sadly some make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Man or woman, anybody needs an ear just msg me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old black dog can rear it's head at any time, I find it myself this time of year ,the shorter days . A suggestion is try ( if possible with work ) to get outside in the afternoon to get a good 20 minutes daylight. To increase energy levels incorporate more fruit in your diet , vitamin c and energy. And know that you're not alone in this , its ok to not be ok

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Virtual hug for anyone who needs it .

I have been there myself. When life seems bleak and empty, when you can't see a way forward, when you feel you have no options...there's always help, there's always time and there ALWAYS are options . Please reach out to family, friends, medical professionals, Samaritans...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always good to talk when you are feeling down......

.......it's also very important to listen if you think someone may need help

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

I have my good and bad days..and I've met some great friends on here that I know I can talk to to help me out of it..

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By *he zephyrCouple
over a year ago

The Sol


"I'm sure this has been done several times over, but I don't think it can be pointed out enough.

It crept up on me last week, between one thing and another by the end of the week I felt like screaming at someone but actually had the energy of a sloth.

Since then, I've spend any free time I've had hiding away in my room, overthinking and watching Netflix to occupy the mind.

Yes, I know, go for a walk, clears the head, try your hobbies, meet friends....

But sometimes, there is just no drive.

I know I'm over the worst, as the crying has stopped.

I also know that others suffer far worse and more frequent.

But I thought I put it here, for anyone who would like to add that they sometimes feel it too and for others who thought it's just them who feel like that, so they can read about it.

I'd like to add that I used to think of my kids and that helped me through, but now I also have my lovely fab friends and planned fab adventures, which are a goal to work towards....thank you x

Also, if you do feel like this there is no shame and please speak to a GP to maybe get some help.

Lollyx"

Be gentle & kind to yourself darling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory.

Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is.

It's you depleted.

And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will.

Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control.

If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them.

Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it.

Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together.

A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering.

Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing!

Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to...

Saying, never again and meaning it.

Self-care, every day, every week.

Choosing happiness, every day, every week.

I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself.

You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day

Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.

When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory.

Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is.

It's you depleted.

And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will.

Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control.

If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them.

Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it.

Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together.

A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering.

Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing!

Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to...

Saying, never again and meaning it.

Self-care, every day, every week.

Choosing happiness, every day, every week.

I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself.

You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day

Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.

When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x"

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By *ollypop9 OP   Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know


"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory.

Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is.

It's you depleted.

And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will.

Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control.

If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them.

Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it.

Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together.

A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering.

Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing!

Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to...

Saying, never again and meaning it.

Self-care, every day, every week.

Choosing happiness, every day, every week.

I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself.

You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day

Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.

When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x"

This

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By *olouWoman
over a year ago

Swords

Lolly,we got ya girl, always told you how much I love your honesty. Just be kind to you,go with the flow, and definitely advice already given here is brilliant.

Love ya

XxxxBxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/10/22 21:01:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory.

Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is.

It's you depleted.

And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will.

Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control.

If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them.

Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it.

Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together.

A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering.

Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing!

Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to...

Saying, never again and meaning it.

Self-care, every day, every week.

Choosing happiness, every day, every week.

I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself.

You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day

Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.

When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x"

Very well put together post well done you.mind yourself lolly good too hear your feeling better x

L

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This planet is only a spec of dust in the universe, we live on this planet so what are we if we are so small we can all live on a spec of dust so our problems even though they seem unbearable are even smaller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is my daily, my 'good morning! I choose happy', my battle, my victory.

Biggest challenge to mental health is seeing it for what it is.

It's you depleted.

And it doesn't happen overnight but the wall you hit very much will.

Learning your triggers, learning your limits and respecting them whether they are emotional, physical or medical.... these are keys. These are your tools and your control.

If you need to, then get practical support... if you need a short or long course of medication to lift your system whilst it finds it's equilibrium again get to your GP... if you need to process emotional or psychological issues, lean on family or friends or open sessions or counselling... do it, do it all until you find all your triggers and decode them.

Biggest, scariest of all... don't deny it or squash it or ignore it or minimise it or exaggerate it or make it your identity or wallow in it or anything really other than face it down and wipe the floor with it.

Just look it in the eye and say hello, because it's you. It's your head and heart and history all bubbling over and it's inescapable. So feel it, think it, process it, pick it apart, and put it back together.

A MASSIVE tool in your tool box is placing responsibility where it truly belongs... spoiler, it's not always all you and it's not always the big bad world or the people in it. It'll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Taking ownership of what only you can affect is empowering.

Setting down what isn't yours to carry.... feels fucking amazing!

Wanting, with an unmatched determination, to avoid the mental quicksand that you can get sucked down in to...

Saying, never again and meaning it.

Self-care, every day, every week.

Choosing happiness, every day, every week.

I will never again allow things beyond me, myself to dictate or affect me, myself.

You are your own captain.... you have to steer your ship to safe harbour every day

Sending and apologies for the loooong comment.

When you find your baseline, you'll know it and you will steady and things will ease x

"

Some great advice there I'd add find at least one thing you love doing too where it's just you and it and you leave the world behind, I started doing colouring by numbers and even tho it felt childish & almost silly to begin with it feels brilliant now, just me my pencils & that page for an hour or two every week helps massively to switch off, hope u get back to yourself soon OP n if you or anyone needs a non sexual chat bout stuff anytime feel free to dm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is ok to not be ok.

Big hugs lolly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great song by Jessi Jay it is OK not to be ok....

They say honesty comands automatic respect...

Admire your courage OP and the genuine kindness in people's comments...Thank you

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By *apncookMan
over a year ago

Somewhere you aren't

Everybody falls sometimes and we fall so we can get back up. It can feel like we aren't stronger but we are and we have learned. Recognise those learnings and be proud of them. I try to remember the first step is always the hardest but nothing worthwhile in life has ever come easy.

For me, when I'm feeling low and don't feel like talking to anyone, I write. It clears my head and stops the ruminating.

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By *ngel and EvilCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Lolly sweetheart i will always be here for you through the good times and the bad. Only ever a whats app call away. And the best thing is i too know youre always there for me. Last few weeks the darkness has got me too and you know that better than anyone else. Glad you reached out earlier. Our chats are good for each other. Yes, its OK to NOT be OK. To all my friends here, no matter what is going on with me, never feel alone. Im only a message or call away xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A walk by the sea or in the woods...

It stimulates all 5 senses.

A good book to pick up is... The Boy, the mole, the fox and the horse..

Ana xx

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By *ollypop9 OP   Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

Thank you for all the supportive messages.

There are some great tips listed here by everyone, if that just helps even one other person, then I'm happy.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Some days I feel like I can take on the world over days I feel the smallest thing either upsets or annoys me..I dunno if its menopause lack of a good night's sleep (menopause related)

This week I feel good had some time to myself and did things I don't get the time of energy to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play to you for talking about it i know that feeling i struggle myself when it hits its tough no motivation and phisicaly do not want to do anything but talking i find helps and a walk its tough to make myself do it but i have to break through the wall and that seems to work for me its not talked about enough and accepted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just bumping this

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork


"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough.

"

This ^^

I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other.

We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through.

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By *otownkid1967Man
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Well done lollypop on opening up about your situation. That first step in acknowledging your situation is a massive one . It's great that so many others have shown their support for you. There's a grand ould bunch on here and I'm sure if you ever need to talk, just drop a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough.

This ^^

I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other.

We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through."

I don't think older people in general are used to opening up and sharing their feelings. They are used to just getting on with it!

I live in a very rural area and notice it a lot and also see it in my job.

Loneliness is a big issue among people married a long time and losing their partner who they have been with for most of their lives and they can't see how they go on and can become reclusive.

He is lucky that he got chatting to you both and got the opportunity to open up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hardest step is saying you are struggling and honestly most people suffer and struggle with their mental health, we just need to be more open and less judgemental and sometimes just been there is enough.

This ^^

I simply don't understand why we feel we can't express our feelings to each other.

We had an elderly neighbour whose wife had died and he was left on his own.. I still think of him sitting with us, repetitively apologizing for crying in front of us and explaining that he (as a man) shouldn't be openly displaying "weakness". My heart was breaking for him - he shouldn't have to feel that embarrassment on top of everything else he was going through.

I don't think older people in general are used to opening up and sharing their feelings. They are used to just getting on with it!

I live in a very rural area and notice it a lot and also see it in my job.

Loneliness is a big issue among people married a long time and losing their partner who they have been with for most of their lives and they can't see how they go on and can become reclusive.

He is lucky that he got chatting to you both and got the opportunity to open up. "

Loneliness is an issue I think in all ages, during covid their was lots of oh the old people alone etc but there are a lot of peopleslone not just elderly.

As for opening up, it's hard to do when we have a society that tells us to cop on, or your told sure what have you to be depressed about, or there's people worse off than you.

But people need to realise just because your issue isn't huge to anyone else to you it is and beem told its not important makes you feel you're not important, or your feelings aren't important, so what does the person do, stops talking, stops asking, because you feel like a burden and noone understands and noone cares.

So way I see it just be kind you never know what someone is going through, that smile you give today, that text you may send, that phonecall you may make today could be the one that helps that person give life another day.

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By *ohnsmithMan
over a year ago

South Tipperary

Warm soft hugs to all...

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork

Well said, devine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/22 13:51:48]

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By *wing_4_funxCouple
over a year ago

mayo

Suffered with depression all throughout my early 20tys thought what was the point to life to living ,thought of how I had everything a beautiful daughter a family who loved me great friends but still felt the way I did .

Eventually I went and spoke to someone and continue to see this lady anytime I feel the need too,it has been a long time since I've needed to go but that day,will come again at some point as I believe we all need to clear out the head now and again and it's nice to have a safe place to do that . Yes a walk helps yes healthy eating helps sleep etc.. but in that frame of mind none of those seem possible.

I have not suffered since I was about 27, 35 now don't get me wrong I have days like that just not weeks and months and I know I have support and people to talk too now that would understand.

Just know it does always get better ,no matter how bad it feels at that time ,always just remember there is always sunshine after the rain xx

Lolly brilliant post and one very close to my heart lost a relative of mine from depression x x

And wish she could have realized thing's always get better

Sending all my love and support to you ????

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By *AMBOLADMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

Fair play Lolly,Biggest thing I’ve learned is to be kind and understanding towards others in life,you never know what they are going through,cut them some slack,mostly people you don’t know,no matter what the setting.everyone has their own cross to bare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Suffered with depression all throughout my early 20tys thought what was the point to life to living ,thought of how I had everything a beautiful daughter a family who loved me great friends but still felt the way I did .

Eventually I went and spoke to someone and continue to see this lady anytime I feel the need too,it has been a long time since I've needed to go but that day,will come again at some point as I believe we all need to clear out the head now and again and it's nice to have a safe place to do that . Yes a walk helps yes healthy eating helps sleep etc.. but in that frame of mind none of those seem possible.

I have not suffered since I was about 27, 35 now don't get me wrong I have days like that just not weeks and months and I know I have support and people to talk too now that would understand.

Just know it does always get better ,no matter how bad it feels at that time ,always just remember there is always sunshine after the rain xx

Lolly brilliant post and one very close to my heart lost a relative of mine from depression x x

And wish she could have realized thing's always get better

Sending all my love and support to you ???? "

See you tomorrow for a massive hug xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“When your day is long

And the night, the night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough

Of this life, well hang on”

Never heard truer words in a song before, hits the nail on the head really.

Take it day by day and do little things that make you happy each day and slowly things will change. Winter months I find especially hard, with bad weather and dark evenings but the thing I find is great for clearing the head is to wrap up warm and take a trip to the beach at night while stormy

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By *istyblue1967Man
over a year ago

manchester

just look at all the replies on here

everybody is concerned hun

we all have moments

ive just been made redundant

but there is always someone going through a worse time

but fab does help x

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