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Gender ratio debate

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

Weekend here at last. I've noticed a common trend where being a single male profile is a less desired match. I've had a conversation at work about match making festivals somewhere in Ireland where single males are hoping to meet someone. They live remotely and life is very lonely for them. Do people here think about these things when they plan events and make statements like 'No single males". I'm sure the vast majority of single males are really nice guys and just want to feel human and part of life where a connection might happen if they were giving a chance. With the amount of awareness to reach out to people who really need some human connection why is it not happening here?

I know there's the horn balls about and ruin it for the nice guys but not all are like that.

What are people's thoughts on this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's absolutely everyone's right to choose no single guys and that should be respected

But there are couple and single profiles that welcome single guys...unfortunately some do ruin it for others..but we've always been extremely lucky

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

The horndogs don't ruin it for the nice guys though. They just ruin it for themselves and the nice/good/genuine(delete as appropriate) guys then stand out more. The only person who can influence your experience or how you are perceived is yourself.

I've never seen a "no single guys" line for an event but fab isn't a matchmaking site running mini Lisdoonvarnas all over the country.

I get what you are saying about rural people looking for connections but event organisers have to have a good balance of guests otherwise it isn't a proper social event.

There has to be a good mix of attendees so single men and women should be evenly split.

I've been to socials where it was 70% single women and only 10% men but that was partly because a lot of men didn't turn up and partly because of ticketing arrangements.

It's not the organisers responsibility to insert a rural clause because they have no idea where most people live.

From a mental health perspective many people on here are struggling for any number of reasons and not just single men and no amount of event washing is ever going to fix the gender imbalance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If an event happens at whatever venue or pub etc and no males invited. What about single male customers walking in from the street who are not part of the meet and greet and they start talking to the group members.

I'm not here to argue or target anyone's response. We can't control who comes to the chosen place and the dynamic will still happen anyway on the night. Unless you rent the pub for the whole evening and stop men on a night out on their own coming in. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If an event happens at whatever venue or pub etc and no males invited. What about single male customers walking in from the street who are not part of the meet and greet and they start talking to the group members.

I'm not here to argue or target anyone's response. We can't control who comes to the chosen place and the dynamic will still happen anyway on the night. Unless you rent the pub for the whole evening and stop men on a night out on their own coming in. Lol"

Meant to say limited single males

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"If an event happens at whatever venue or pub etc and no males invited. What about single male customers walking in from the street who are not part of the meet and greet and they start talking to the group members.

I'm not here to argue or target anyone's response. We can't control who comes to the chosen place and the dynamic will still happen anyway on the night. Unless you rent the pub for the whole evening and stop men on a night out on their own coming in. Lol"

Because most large events are in function rooms and all attendees have wristbands so people aren't wandering in off the street. Either that or they do actually book the entire pub for the night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub. "

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers".

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers"."

So no sign up in the corner of the coffee shop "Swinger's table" for people to find them?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers".

So no sign up in the corner of the coffee shop "Swinger's table" for people to find them? "

No just one that says if you've ordered a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato, stay the fuck away from this table.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers".

So no sign up in the corner of the coffee shop "Swinger's table" for people to find them?

No just one that says if you've ordered a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato, stay the fuck away from this table. "

For me to see someone on their own close by while I'm with a group I would briefly talk over to them. It's my nature to make conversation to nearby people on their own if we are sitting/standing in the same place. If they don't want to chat it's fine but some do and you finish your coffee or if standing in line we part ways and get on with our day.

Is that the opinion when you guys meet "stay the fuck away from this table"?

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Events rarely exclude single men... its probably one of 2 factors

1) There are more single men here than any other group and so the single men places fill up first.

2) Single men are notoriously unreliable so those who have turned up to an event before are prioritised and the places might not even be offered publicly.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers".

So no sign up in the corner of the coffee shop "Swinger's table" for people to find them?

No just one that says if you've ordered a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato, stay the fuck away from this table.

For me to see someone on their own close by while I'm with a group I would briefly talk over to them. It's my nature to make conversation to nearby people on their own if we are sitting/standing in the same place. If they don't want to chat it's fine but some do and you finish your coffee or if standing in line we part ways and get on with our day.

Is that the opinion when you guys meet "stay the fuck away from this table"?"

You keep saying you guys. I've only been to 3 or 4 but socials are discussed on here so the time. The stay the fuck away line was a joke about coffee snobs but if a group of swingers are meeting they don't really want to be having discussions with non swingers as that sort of defeats the whole point of the social. You might pass the time of day but inviting random strangers to join in wouldn't be very discreet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've learnt something new this morning.

I don't seek invitations or indulge in meet and greets myself. I thought you guys meet in a venue like a pub.

There are smaller events held in pubs or coffee shops even during the day but it's like any group of people meeting for lunch or a coffee. There's nothing to say "look at the swingers".

So no sign up in the corner of the coffee shop "Swinger's table" for people to find them?

No just one that says if you've ordered a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato, stay the fuck away from this table.

For me to see someone on their own close by while I'm with a group I would briefly talk over to them. It's my nature to make conversation to nearby people on their own if we are sitting/standing in the same place. If they don't want to chat it's fine but some do and you finish your coffee or if standing in line we part ways and get on with our day.

Is that the opinion when you guys meet "stay the fuck away from this table"?

You keep saying you guys. I've only been to 3 or 4 but socials are discussed on here so the time. The stay the fuck away line was a joke about coffee snobs but if a group of swingers are meeting they don't really want to be having discussions with non swingers as that sort of defeats the whole point of the social. You might pass the time of day but inviting random strangers to join in wouldn't be very discreet."

True

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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Join a snooker club or something but don’t play the mental health card looking for pity invites to events or meets that may result in some form of sexual gratification. Have a gander at the ratio of men to couples/ women in your local county and have a look at the profiles of those men who are getting meets. I wouldn’t expect much hand holding on the majority or meets either of I were you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Join a snooker club or something but don’t play the mental health card looking for pity invites to events or meets that may result in some form of sexual gratification. Have a gander at the ratio of men to couples/ women in your local county and have a look at the profiles of those men who are getting meets. I wouldn’t expect much hand holding on the majority or meets either of I were you."

You need to read up the thread on where I stand with meet and greet.

Did you drink a cup of angry this morning?

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Any meet and greet I've helped organise have just been in pub beer gardens where we took over sections as organised with the bar manager

Equal amounts of men and woman at them all and the last time I left a mini pack of Malteesers on each table so as people came in they knew which tables were allocated to us.

Its not a big deal really ....just people with like minded attitudes chatting over drinks

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Most socials have even numbers of men women and couples invited. But mens places fill up faster normally and most likely those who have shown up previously and organisers know them will get preference.There have been plenty small socials advertised on here to help people especially men get veried and to get to know other members.

As for the not looking for single men on profiles why should anyone change that or in fact what they are looking for on here just because there are some men on here that a lonely.I am just going to be blunt and say no wants to give pity fucks on here and anyone with any self respect wouldn't want to be a pity fuck either. If people aren't looking for single men just move on and concentrate on those who are,there are plenty of people who are interested in meeting men on fab.

Fab isn't the lisdoonvarna match making festival it's a swingers site. No body owes anyone anything on here.

I have chatted to men on here previously who told me sob stories about how lonely they were and his hard they found fab to be for them,and how nice and kind and decent they are but unfortunately even though I'd been clear from my first reply that I didn't want to meet them a few messages in start asking for me to meet as I chatted so therefore I must have changed my mind. So now I don't chat or fall for the sob stories anymore.If a profile doesn't appeal or a message doesn't appeal it's a delete now. So no it's not the 'hornbags' or even the abusive ones who ruin fab for anyone,but I know from my experience that it's the ones who try the poor me approach I'm a kind nice guy not like all the others,show more red flags.They don't ruin it for others though because genuine decent men will always stand out on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

Weekend here at last. I've noticed a common trend where being a single male profile is a less desired match. I've had a conversation at work about match making festivals somewhere in Ireland where single males are hoping to meet someone. They live remotely and life is very lonely for them. Do people here think about these things when they plan events and make statements like 'No single males". I'm sure the vast majority of single males are really nice guys and just want to feel human and part of life where a connection might happen if they were giving a chance. With the amount of awareness to reach out to people who really need some human connection why is it not happening here?

I know there's the horn balls about and ruin it for the nice guys but not all are like that.

What are people's thoughts on this?"

As someone you has organised a couple of daytime socials it doesn't bother me where people are from and I don't actively go looking for sine men from rural areas.

I pick a location that suits me and that's central and if people make the effort to come thats their choice.

As for gender ratio, out of the last social 31 people turned up and another 15 single guys had messaged asking for details but didn't turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

Weekend here at last. I've noticed a common trend where being a single male profile is a less desired match. I've had a conversation at work about match making festivals somewhere in Ireland where single males are hoping to meet someone. They live remotely and life is very lonely for them. Do people here think about these things when they plan events and make statements like 'No single males". I'm sure the vast majority of single males are really nice guys and just want to feel human and part of life where a connection might happen if they were giving a chance. With the amount of awareness to reach out to people who really need some human connection why is it not happening here?

I know there's the horn balls about and ruin it for the nice guys but not all are like that.

What are people's thoughts on this?

As someone you has organised a couple of daytime socials it doesn't bother me where people are from and I don't actively go looking for sine men from rural areas.

I pick a location that suits me and that's central and if people make the effort to come thats their choice.

As for gender ratio, out of the last social 31 people turned up and another 15 single guys had messaged asking for details but didn't turn up.

"

They were wonderful daytime socials too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As harsh as this may sound - and as a couple who mostly DO meet single men - we're here for sex with people we find attractive and compatible. It's not our responsibility to give someone a chance, give someone a crack at the whip, or any other terminology you may choose to use just so that they don't feel isolated, either geographically or emotionally. There are plenty of platforms that cater to that need. Fab isn't one of them (although it may happen organically I'll concede).

Now I know you're specifically talking about organised M&Gs but this just feels like another angle on the "why don't nice genuine guys get a look in here" line that is constantly on rinse and repeat on Fab.

Every large organised M&G I/we have been to has a carefully considered ratio of singles and couples. In almost every instance it's the single guys who make up the largest proportion of drop outs/no shows. Organisers also have to consider the majority in terms of location - public transport, parking & nearby overnight accommodation are factors in choosing a venue/location.

I've also attended some of the previously mentioned smaller informal gatherings and, as well as no-shows, there's been huge grumblings from potential male attendees about sausage-fests when they've perceived there may not be enough single females attending.

With regards to gatecrashers - it's a no thanks from me, whatever type of social or M&G it is. Talk or socialise with whomever you wish outwith the group, but bringing someone in who has no concept of etiquette or discretion shows a complete lack of respect for the other people in attendance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I also suggest that charity begins at home. If you're coming to the forum with "let's be more inclusive of the socially isolated guys" in one hand, it feels counterintuitive that you're holding phrases like "man up" in the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer is in the question, yes there are single males out there who are isolated ,but I'm sure there may be just as many single/ married/other women also in a similar situation. It's just a personal choice on here for anyone to choose who they do or do not wish to meet. Yes I'm sure there are plenty of genuin single guys on here, but the question is ,why are they single ...by choice or otherwise.? But on the point of mental health ,if they are guys who are isolated as you say and maybe lack the confidence in real world to approach women/men then this is really not the place for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha I've to admit I do get fed up of single lonely bald fat ugly males contacting me asking me to give them a chance and as the ladies are saying- rightly so....its our perogative to ride,suck,fuck,lick who we want.

I try to always be polite but I'm like marmite-love me or loathe me....I have a back bone and speak my mind and have been slagged,slated and had nasty derogatory evil things said to me by both sexs!

But you don't hear women harping on about why don't women give us a chance....or is it something about me,have I done something wrong?!

Go to lisdoonvara match making festival....I've been before and it's great craic apart from the girl who hung herself after when a video went viral of her shagging. Not good!

I'm single 5 years....apparently I'm a mythical uniform as single women don't do parties or events...this one does- I'm a lone wolf not a wolf in sheep's clothing xx

A pity fuck....never heard of such a thing....oh you poor thing.....c'mere to me-ill open my legs for you even though I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot barge pole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The horndogs don't ruin it for the nice guys though. They just ruin it for themselves and the nice/good/genuine(delete as appropriate) guys then stand out more. The only person who can influence your experience or how you are perceived is yourself.

I've never seen a "no single guys" line for an event but fab isn't a matchmaking site running mini Lisdoonvarnas all over the country.

I get what you are saying about rural people looking for connections but event organisers have to have a good balance of guests otherwise it isn't a proper social event.

There has to be a good mix of attendees so single men and women should be evenly split.

I've been to socials where it was 70% single women and only 10% men but that was partly because a lot of men didn't turn up and partly because of ticketing arrangements.

It's not the organisers responsibility to insert a rural clause because they have no idea where most people live.

From a mental health perspective many people on here are struggling for any number of reasons and not just single men and no amount of event washing is ever going to fix the gender imbalance."

70% women and 10% men only makes 80% up- the rest tvs cds etc? I'd love that ratio being bisexual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those on here who do have mental health which I suspect is 90%.....then do something about it- it was mental health awareness week last week...I'm in a choir- join a choir it's great for mental health!

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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Kerry and Dublin


"For those on here who do have mental health which I suspect is 90%.....then do something about it- it was mental health awareness week last week...I'm in a choir- join a choir it's great for mental health!"

Check your privilege!

Some of us would be brought up for crimes against humanity if we attempted to sing, let alone in a choir.

On a serious note though, it is good advice to seek out something like that.

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By *ornywife20Couple
over a year ago

North Cork

The majority of couples are on fab to meet other couples for a bit of craic a few drinks and a bit of fun not to provide a ride to lonely hony single guys. Some couples enjoy meeting single guys but the majority a

of us are on fab to meet couples. That's why we have filters and everyone needs to learn to respect and accept people's wishes .

If single guys want an event for single guys stop bitching and moaning and organise it don't put a cap on the amount of single guys and see how many couples turn up

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