FabSwingers.com forum: Opinions please

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just ignore it

Babe

Hun

Sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only use pet names for people I really know and get on with. Wouldn't use it in open messages or on first meets, feels weird and I think it makes me sound like a dickhead

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

Pet peeve of mine -Hun ,Babe ,Chic !

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

[Removed by poster at 24/09/22 13:17:16]

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

I find that hello or hi usually pisses them off sufficiently not to need to use a pet name

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Do they call you foxy by any chance?

I'm not a particular fan of it but different strokes for different folks I guess.

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By *MAsMan
over a year ago

Craigavon

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel

about it

And men does it actually get you

anywhere "

I thought pet names where used when 16 years old

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By *MAsMan
over a year ago

Craigavon

Unless we are talking about some kinky roleplay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pet peeve of mine -Hun ,Babe ,Chic !"

Yes I definitely agree with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unless we are talking about some kinky roleplay"
no wasn't even that was literally hello bubs makes me grit my teeth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only use pet names for people I really know and get on with. Wouldn't use it in open messages or on first meets, feels weird and I think it makes me sound like a dickhead "

It definitely sent the dickhead vibe my way when I opened the message from him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If somebody does something you have said you don't like a number of times, it is not a good sign regardless of whatever is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere "

Princess

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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago

Limerick, Clare, Tipperary

Not sure if that was me, Wendi, who called you that... If so, my apology

I had different 'pet name' from the animal kingdom in my mind, but thought, that wouldn't be even less suitable

...and as for the question, I am not too keen on using some silly names myself, but, message beginning with 'love', 'honey' and written in proper language gets my attention every time and I do prefer those to the lazy 'Hi'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate

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By *ublinjonnMan
over a year ago

dublin

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate "

Note to self....don't call vixen any of the above....lol

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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago

Limerick, Clare, Tipperary

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate "

In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place

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By *yche_xWoman
over a year ago

nearby

Any pet name drives me mad. I hate them with a passion. Even if you send me a great opening message, if there is a pet name in there. I'm out! Immediate delete

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate

In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place

It's a figure of speech up here too and especially in Belfast. Women call everyone including strangers "luv" or "hun" and men call everyone "mate".

The one that bugs me is "alright lad" from someone half my age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never use pet names

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere "

I don't and never have used pet names , they are something that are just not my way.

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
over a year ago

Antrim Town

I have to admit I use pet names for people irl cos I've a shite memory, online I use whatever name they present with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't lie l have been called a few pet names in meets and they have drove me up the wall.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Only to be used genuinely with people who you're really close to. It's like everyone using "love you" with people they just met. Makes me want to hurl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea, my late father used to call all my female friends “peaches” or “chicken” which they thought was kinda cute -

As I did until I twigged he had no idea what their names were.

Unless in the context of a relationship or close friendship, I think such monikers are creepy at best and sometimes downright disrespectful.

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By *atts n titsCouple
over a year ago

everywhere

Female here I call everyone doll regardless of sex usually cos I'm shite with names

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Can't say it upsets me or makes me angry...I take it in my stride - sometimes as a compliment, sometimes as a term of endearment but rarely as offensive. Maybe growing up in rural Ireland, where a lot of people call you luv, hun or pet made me immune...but there's a way some use/say it and a look which then makes it sleazy and gives me the ick.

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By *r. JMan
over a year ago

Wicklow

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere "

Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names

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By *ildGroverMan
over a year ago

rathfarnham

I don’t think sexy is a pet name like him or love or chick

Doesn’t everyone want to be sexy??

Not a pet name user myself

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By *ired-BNMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"I don’t think sexy is a pet name like him or love or chick

Doesn’t everyone want to be sexy??

Not a pet name user myself"

Gotta agree, I refer to women and couples as sexy when I think they are wouldn’t think it upsets.

Like to keep playful pet names for people I’ve been intimate with, more for fun and to show the connection and they generally like it. Think it’s more when a stranger uses pet names it feels condescending or empty as there’s no previous connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pet names from people I don't know gives me the ick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere

Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names"

I can only speak for myself and not the OP but, in my experience, pet names are not solely the preserve of younger men.

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere "

Its creepy and misogynistic imo...

At the same time I know some people mean noting more than endearment by it.. for others a habit or ice breaker ..

Those who keep doing it after you ask to stop ... thats just sleezy

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate

In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place

Same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Correct and rite ha ha ha

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By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere

Perhaps if your age range was wider you would get more mature messages from more mature men without those silly pet names"

Subtle

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate

In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place

Eh? No they're not.

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By *uess.who30Man
over a year ago

Galway/Dublin/London

I can get this! Luckily never really fell into my repertoire!

Quite similar to being whistled at, or worse yet those on nights out that give an unsolicited smack on the arse when you dont know them from blue, or so i imagine..

Ofcourse that opinion can change when you know them and maybe enjoy the attention then... but as an intro, i agree it wouldn't exactly cast you in the best light..

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By *huCullainMan
over a year ago

Rathowen

Don't use them and not a fan. They've been used on me lately but when I say I don't like them it stops. They generally are a term of affection but I do appreciate them but just don't like them

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

Yeah, not used unless in a slagging off for the craic kinda way. Not a fan, unless there's something mutually known behind it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never really felt comfortable using pet names. Can’t even do the male-male equivalent of calling a guy “mate” or “buddy”. Just feels unnatural to me somehow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In an opening message, good chance it's a copy and paste, as you don't need to bother changing it. Calling people pet names can stop you calling them the wrong name which can have a bad effect too. So in speech i have been guilty of using some but not in a written message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it "

A man using a pet name in an opening message to a woman he doesn't even know on a swingers website, is likely to be a man in the same subset of men also complaining that they don't have much luck with women on here.

*draws a venn diagram for illustration purposes*

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By *OCONO5Couple
over a year ago

Sensual Center

Dont call anyone pet name...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this is about pet names it's only men that have done it and it really drives me mad an opening message using a pet name and when you tell them to stop they keep using it

It's happened a few times now so

For the ladies how do you feel about it

And men does it actually get you anywhere "

If you don’t know someone then I don’t think you should be calling them a pet name.

Usually my message will read “hey there how’s it going”

If a woman calls me a pet name all well and good and can go from there

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Did some one upset you baby girl

Its not something id normally do but theres one or two that earned their pet names but in a jovial way

Don't think its a male donimated ick there are quite a lot if ladys that use the usual babe, hun, darling, tags

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By *acob12369Man
over a year ago

URPANTS

Was it "karen"

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If it's from people I know and like than I don't mind I tend to use them with people I'm close to. But from strangers it is a definite no and a turn off.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I work with a lot of women from Belfast

Everyone calls me Hun or honey ...think that's the only time anyone uses a pet name with me......unless bollox is a pet name

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

"If its foxy you were thinking of that's not a problem but love honey darling they really erk me unless you know me it's not appropriate

In Limerick, everyone is 'luv' or 'hun' regardless of their gender, age or place

It's a figure of speech up here too and especially in Belfast. Women call everyone including strangers "luv" or "hun" and men call everyone "mate".

The one that bugs me is "alright lad" from someone half my age"

Or young lads (teens )serving you in a shop and asking "Do you need a bag love"

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By *ir SnakebitesMan
over a year ago

Llandeilo

I sumtimes get misconstrued for useing "lovely". But being welsh i use it all the time, in work, with friends, strangers. Wether they are 16 or 80 its a habit. "You ok lovely", "can I help you lovely", So if I ever offend i hope you understand its not a pet name but a speach habit.

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By *mmortalValkyrieWoman
over a year ago

From a galaxy far far away

"If it's from people I know and like than I don't mind I tend to use them with people I'm close to. But from strangers it is a definite no and a turn off. "

Same....

For me, my nicknames are a sign of affection, trust and knowledge, both recieved and given...

But from strangers.... ewwwww

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like everything depends on the context and person involved.

Not a fan but it also wouldn't be the only reason I choose not to interact with a person.

And its absolutely not just men. Its just less acceptable for me like most things on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sumtimes get misconstrued for useing "lovely". But being welsh i use it all the time, in work, with friends, strangers. Wether they are 16 or 80 its a habit. "You ok lovely", "can I help you lovely", So if I ever offend i hope you understand its not a pet name but a speach habit. "

After living in England for quite a few years using "my lovely/my lovelies" is a habit I acquired too but its still not something I'd use in an opening message to someone I'd had no previous contact with. It's liberally used elsewhere though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate that bae reference but i love to call people hen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hun

Babe

2 biggest turn offs

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By *itty369Woman
over a year ago

Munster somewhere sometime

I love pet names... guilty

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