FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette for Meets

By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

Good morning FABulous people

I'm new to this community and I was just wondering if there is etiquette that needs to be followed when meeting people, is it different when meeting single people is it different when meeting couples or is it all individual?

I would like to create a list of do's and don'ts if possible ...

Thanks for reading

And hope to hear your thoughts on that one.

Happy Fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning FABulous people

I would like to create a list of do's and don'ts if possible ...

Thanks for reading

And hope to hear your thoughts on that one.

Happy Fabbing "

Talk and agree they type of meet and expectations with the person you are meetings.

You nailed it in your post it is all individual

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

Thanks very much for replying, it's something that I've thought about for some...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most people are too intelligent for ‘want me to bang you’. Start talking about normal stuff. Be honest and respectful. It’s not easy meeting up so be patient. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have different wants for a first meet, some just want nsa sex and not interested in meeting socially beforehand. Some prefer to meet socially first see I'd there's an attraction.

Personally I prefer a social meet first, to see if there's an attraction, if there's banter, if we going to be having a few hours of fun I want to know can have a laugh with the guy

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By *evilinsidemeMan
over a year ago

Trim

Smell good, look good, make an effort in both those departments.

Be safe, public places and cosy nooks (Google it) are great.

Let the lady or couple lead the sexual parts of conversation in most cases, you will know if they want you to be more assertive, from chatting before the meet, most the people I met, wanted to flirt enough to be comfortable before talking openly about sex when face to face. Some quicker than others.

Make as much spare time as you can. You never know where a coffee may lead. Might be home in an hour, might not be seen for days.

Oh and always make sure you shout as loud as you can to anyone there that your swingers....

Ps last one is a joke.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Everyone looks for different things on here with meets. There is no one way to do things bar talk to those you are meeting and see what it is you are both looking for.For example is it a social first and if you are told they want just a social and a chat then don't expect more or push for more on the day . Apart from that meets are just the same as when you meet anyone new in real life .

Don't be a pushy sod,be clean a hygienic (that should be a given but it seems some people don't think so ) and either person or persons can say no and walk away at any point without the other party getting stroppy.

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

This would be exactly myself ... Meet first see if there is attraction and vibe... If there isn't shake hands and walk away...

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"Smell good, look good, make an effort in both those departments.

Please please please tell me that everyone does that ... I refuse to think that you would meet someone and not be at your best...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/22 11:01:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smell good, look good, make an effort in both those departments.

Please please please tell me that everyone does that ... I refuse to think that you would meet someone and not be at your best...

Meh....depends

I've met people after the gym or work where I haven't been at my best. The key like all things is communication.

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

So far we have

1. Smell good,look good(I can't believe this is not obvious)

2. Let other party lead the conversation

3. If you're going to meet someone allocate extra time just in case.

4. Don't be pushy or a dick if they're not interested.

Ok people I need some more points but list is looking good so far ...

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"So far we have

1. Smell good,look good(I can't believe this is not obvious)

2. Let other party lead the conversation

3. If you're going to meet someone allocate extra time just in case.

4. Don't be pushy or a dick if they're not interested.

Ok people I need some more points but list is looking good so far ..."
.

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"So far we have

1. Smell good,look good(I can't believe this is not obvious)

2. Let other party lead the conversation

3. If you're going to meet someone allocate extra time just in case.

4. Don't be pushy or a dick if they're not interested.

Ok people I need some more points but list is looking good so far ....

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens. "

Yep, agree with this, you don't want to come across as a pushover. Confidence and assertiveness are very attractive. But there is a fine line between being assertive and being pushy which nobody likes.

Another point about couples is not to ignore the hubby, he is as important as the wife. Respect for the couples relationship at all times. Good luck

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Put your phone on silent

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Talk to them like normal human beings.. no need to pretend you and they are anything other than the normal person in the street. Things thay annoy other people will likely annoy them also.

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens. "

Agree, but should conversation be started by other party?

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"Another point about couples is not to ignore the hubby, he is as important as the wife. Respect for the couples relationship at all times. Good luck

That's a great point... At the end of the day he is as important as a lady...

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"Put your phone on silent "

Great point

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I'd always say be yourself, unless you're a cunt. In that case, try and be someone else.

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are. "

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

You're right to ask, don't mind him

Sometimes it only takes one small thing to get blocked by a couple because perception is everything on a site like this.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"I'd always say be yourself, unless you're a cunt. In that case, try and be someone else.

Sound advice

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"I'd always say be yourself, unless you're a cunt. In that case, try and be someone else.

I'm planning to put this advise as number 1

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

You're right to ask, don't mind him

Sometimes it only takes one small thing to get blocked by a couple because perception is everything on a site like this."

Thanks

Ps. You're a beautiful couple

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

But the problem is you'll end up getting conflicting advice.

Like letting them led the conversation you had on the list. Some people will prefer that, some won't. Do you naturally prefer to led the conversation or not? The answer to that question should define whether you lead the conversation or not.

The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

You're right to ask, don't mind him

Sometimes it only takes one small thing to get blocked by a couple because perception is everything on a site like this."

If a couple are the sort to block someone over something very small I'd strongly argue that you are far better off being blocked by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

But the problem is you'll end up getting conflicting advice.

The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Ummm of I'm not here to tell other people how to behave then what exactly is the point in all of this

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

But the problem is you'll end up getting conflicting advice.

The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Ummm of I'm not here to tell other people how to behave then what exactly is the point in all of this"

Tits and ass photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

But the problem is you'll end up getting conflicting advice.

The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Ummm of I'm not here to tell other people how to behave then what exactly is the point in all of this

Tits and ass photos.

Oh shit ya.... I forgot about the tits

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"OP you seem to be hugely over complicating this. Just turn up and be yourself ans behave in a manner that you think most accurately portrays who you are.

That's obvious, but there are small things that I'm curious about ... Like the one on the list and that people said

But the problem is you'll end up getting conflicting advice.

The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Ummm of I'm not here to tell other people how to behave then what exactly is the point in all of this

Tits and ass photos.

Oh shit ya.... I forgot about the tits"

How could you forget about tits? I mean, why else would you talk to a woman?

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way."

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

If a couple are the sort to block someone over something very small I'd strongly argue that you are far better off being blocked by them.

Agree

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

Is it obvious though?

I went to a meet once and purposely didn't wash for about a week and wore tattered clothes. I texted her after asking what time and date suited for the subsequent hotel booking. She wrote back saying I was the dirtiest person she had ever met and blocked me. I was sitting there thinking to myself "but she said in her profile she liked it dirty

You'll learn something from every met and from that one I learned that women are simpmy indecisive creatures so trying to guess what they want is impossible because most of the time they don't even know themselves.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens.

Agree, but should conversation be started by other party?"

You are severely overthinking this just talk to them as you would talk to anyone.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

It’s very important to turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens.

Agree, but should conversation be started by other party?

You are severely overthinking this just talk to them as you would talk to anyone. "

What if we both say the same thing at exactly the same time and they jinx me.... and they dont release me........I can never speak again...what then? Huh? What then?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I wouldn't agree with letting the other person lead the conversation. It should be a two way thing not up to one person to decide what happens.

Agree, but should conversation be started by other party?

You are severely overthinking this just talk to them as you would talk to anyone.

What if we both say the same thing at exactly the same time and they jinx me.... and they dont release me........I can never speak again...what then? Huh? What then?"

Sorry about that I promise I won't do it again ....well maybe I might

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

Is it obvious though?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

You've already said that so much of this advice is obvious and should be a given so who are you trying to school?

If it's obvious to you then go with it and forget about lists.

Just as its pointless giving profile advice there's no point in having a conversation ticklist because it all comes across as false and forced.

If you are naturally uncomfortable or out of your depth in holding a conversation no amount of lists will have any difference.

The only etiquette required is that all parties speak as equals. If they don't they have zero interest in you as a person and you become a box to tick on a list.

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By *ucas1986 OP Man
over a year ago

Cork

Is it obvious though?

this made me laugh more then it should

THANK YOU

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By *eardedvillainMan
over a year ago

Bangor N.Ireland

If you get to the stage of meeting for a social, just be yourself fella simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice post OP.

My advice as a newbie to Fab is to be yourself and embrace a coffee meet and chat as an opportunity for two people to get to know each other and establish if there is any sort of a connection between you of any kind. Forget altogether that Fab was how you connected in the first place.

Respect whoever it is you meet. Behind every profile on here is a person who deserves to be treated with respect. Sex may be the backbone of this site but we are all people first.

Be prepared to have somebody tell you that you may not be for them. Put any ego to the side and be fully understanding. It would be unwise to question why they may not feel a connection if that is the case.

Just be yourself and be respectful.

The very best of luck to you and enjoy your Fab experience.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

If someone has to be reminded to show up clean, they’re a lost cause anyway.

The only advice needed is don’t be a dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

If someone has to be reminded to show up clean, they’re a lost cause anyway.

The only advice needed is don’t be a dick. "

I disagree, anyone who is a dick should make this clear immediately to avoid disappointment later

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"The goal should be to find someone who is attracted to who you are, not someone who is attracted to who you are trying to be because the people on the fab forums told you to behave this way.

Being yourself is obvious.

However I'm more interested about things that people experienced that should be obvious that aren't ...

For example show up clean

If someone has to be reminded to show up clean, they’re a lost cause anyway.

The only advice needed is don’t be a dick.

I disagree, anyone who is a dick should make this clear immediately to avoid disappointment later"

Fair. Maybe I should change it to don’t show up if you’re a dick

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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago

City Centre

Be yourself, be respectful, put effort in and mainly treat everyone the way you expect to be treated

B x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be yourself, be respectful, put effort in and mainly treat everyone the way you expect to be treated

B x"

This.

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