FabSwingers.com forum: Abused for sharing opinions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Having received a lot of abuse on a thread for sharing my opinion it goes to show how much Fab has changed. Was told to Fu(k off, others celebrated when I said I would not comment any further. Left feeling ganged up on and ostracised by the mob. Sad to see Fab going down this road where people can’t speak their mind.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Surely if you want to express your opinions freely then you should accept the rights of other to also express their opinions freely, which they did?

I'm not sure how you're surprised that people on a very specific thread about a very specific idea share similar opinions.

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By *otownkid1967Man
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Sorry to hear you feel as though you were ganged up on OP. But isn't that the point of a Forum , where everyone can air their views.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what the opinions were about

Care to enlighten us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you similarly reflect on your own use of the forums or see any wrong in the way you treat others?

Do you expect that constant sniping will go unchallenged?

I said my piece yesterday and fully believe this is yet another attempt to bait so I'll leave it there.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Depends what the opinions were about

Care to enlighten us?"

Just click the green arrow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear you feel as though you were ganged up on OP. But isn't that the point of a Forum , where everyone can air their views. "

Absolutely it should be a place where you can share your opinion. Doesn’t feel like that, go against the grain of an established fab user at your peril……. Is the lesson learned here

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't agree that fab has changed. It has always been that way and as I said yesterday if you have a valid point there are ways of making it that doesn't antagonise everyone.

Otherwise it just looks as though you are deliberately provoking an argument.

If you genuinely feel ostracised then others need to consider their replies to this thread and not pile on for the sake of it but maybe a different approach is required.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't agree that fab has changed. It has always been that way and as I said yesterday if you have a valid point there are ways of making it that doesn't antagonise everyone.

Otherwise it just looks as though you are deliberately provoking an argument.

If you genuinely feel ostracised then others need to consider their replies to this thread and not pile on for the sake of it but maybe a different approach is required. "

Very true. Someone cursing at you and others with “wow” celebrating when you say you won’t comment again and others asking why I was even replying felt like being ganged up . But hey that’s my opinion. Fab Friends eh….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And in the interests of accuracy, I didn't tell you to fuck off. I said "grow the fuck up".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And in the interests of accuracy, I didn't tell you to fuck off. I said "grow the fuck up". "

I don’t about you but, where I am from and how I was brought up, if someone curses at you 3 times in three or four sentence’s it’s seen as aggressive. Maybe not where you live or how you carry on in your daily life. But hey we are all different.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

You seem to have a bug bear about cliques and people being ostracised. If you’re feeling this way, you need to reflect on your own behaviour and identify why this is cropping up regularly.

From my point of view, yesterday you were commenting on a thread with unhelpful and irrelevant remarks. This is a pattern with you and it’s really no wonder that people react the way they do when you start.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but everyone also has the right to challenge an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You seem to have a bug bear about cliques and people being ostracised. If you’re feeling this way, you need to reflect on your own behaviour and identify why this is cropping up regularly.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but everyone also has the right to challenge an opinion. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You seem to have a bug bear about cliques and people being ostracised. If you’re feeling this way, you need to reflect on your own behaviour and identify why this is cropping up regularly.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but everyone also has the right to challenge an opinion. "

I’m not going back to that, but to me.

Someone offering to meet someone on a public forum for a coffee meet to verify them is all well and good, but on the other hand having filters up so the very same person would not be able to contact them on the site reeks of contradiction and hypocrisy to me and I believe any logically thinking person would think the same. But hey that’s fab logic doesn’t come into it. It’s like secondary school we have to rally behind “friends” no matter the argument

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I read the thread last night and you were not told to fuck off. I didn't see any celebration either when you said you wouldn't comment anymore so I don't know where you think that happened or if it got removed.

You are just as entitled to share your opinion and others are the same.You seem to take it personally when others disagree with you.

I saw the point you were making on the thread but even when people explained their point your just kept on going telling them they were wrong and that they didn't get what you were saying even when it seemed they did and yes some others didn't. I didn't join in the thread because I've no interest in giving people their first Veri just for the sake of it .I've met several people over the years who haven't been veried but we had chatted and gotten to know each other before I agreed to meet them. I don't have the time or at the moment the energy to be meeting someone just off a thread to veri them.Fair play to those who do though I'd not knock them for doing it. I also wouldn't join that thread to say that as I've no intention of doing what the thread was about. It would be a pointless.

It's nothing to do with people who have been on here a long time and going against the grain and them then piling on you.

That's not to say it doesn't happen on here at times anyone who has been on here for any length of time can see it does happen. Especially when men post a question or observation as oppose to when women will post the same thing.

No one should feel like they have to leave or be scared of sharing their opinion on here. Feck it I've been pulled many a time over what I've said it doesn't mean I will stop saying what I think though. Sometimes though I will have to write it a few times before posting because the first times would be a bit too blunt and pointless as it would just be seen as combative as oppose to getting my point across the way I want.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"You seem to have a bug bear about cliques and people being ostracised. If you’re feeling this way, you need to reflect on your own behaviour and identify why this is cropping up regularly.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but everyone also has the right to challenge an opinion.

I’m not going back to that, but to me.

Not one person on that thread is a “friend” of mine. You can’t keep using that as an excuse for feeling like you’re being left out.

It was clearly explained to you that even with filters up, the person could be contacted to offer a coffee this bypassing filters but you seem to be refusing to take reason on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You seem to have a bug bear about cliques and people being ostracised. If you’re feeling this way, you need to reflect on your own behaviour and identify why this is cropping up regularly.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but everyone also has the right to challenge an opinion.

I’m not going back to that, but to me.

It’s a hook up site. Code out etiquette kinda goes out the window. People get the hump about verifications, the quality of said verifications. Like it’s trip advisor for sex. I think your getting wound up over nothing. It’s the kinda place you’d wanna approach at a fairly neutral headspace .

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

When you're in the business of shoveling shit, you've got to expect a bit to stick on you sometimes.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I don't agree that fab has changed. It has always been that way and as I said yesterday if you have a valid point there are ways of making it that doesn't antagonise everyone.

Otherwise it just looks as though you are deliberately provoking an argument.

If you genuinely feel ostracised then others need to consider their replies to this thread and not pile on for the sake of it but maybe a different approach is required.

As I said yesterday not one person who commented on that thread is on my friends list and I'm not chatting with any of them.

I often have a difference of opinion on certain threads and don't offer lip service or blow smoke up anyones arse regardless of who they are but if I come into the room shooting it's only natural to expect that some will shoot back.

You are in permanent confrontation mode and there's little attempt on your part to engage in conversation. Most of your comments are clickbait and all eventually work their way around to the tired old clique argument.

I'm not one of those that will pretend fab cliques don't exist and tell you they are all groups of friends because even the people telling you that know it's not factual as many former fabbers can attest to.

It's a broken record though and tiresome and doesn't even come across as humourous anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you feel like that and if you getting messages giving out about your opinion that's crap but it's part of fab.

I took on board what you meant regarding my filters and yes I have filters up but a lot if people don't and the thread wasn't just about me meeting for a social coffee to veri, it was a thread for newbies that are looking to get verified to post their interest and for the fabbers interested to do the same.

I have started plenty of the help a fabber threads out and you have never questioned my filter status before, bogm started one a few weeks ago you didn't comment on that thread.

Yesterday I felt you personally attacked me once again as you have on other threads but I've let the comments slide, I've seen plenty of your posts that don't interest me and I don't comment on it.

As I have said time and time again everyone uses fab differently and it's up to each person how they use it.

I opened my filters yesterday yo receive 2 nasty messages from people I've never interacted with before ( hence why I have filters)

You seem to have a constant go about the clique, this secret club that is out to get you,that don't let other people have opinions. Not sure why it seems to annoy you so much that people know each other.

Anyway you use fab the way it suits you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry you feel like that and if you getting messages giving out about your opinion that's crap but it's part of fab.

I have started plenty of the help a fabber threads out and you have never questioned my filter status before, bogm started one a few weeks ago you didn't comment on that thread.

Yesterday I felt you personally attacked me once again as you have on other threads but I've let the comments slide, I've seen plenty of your posts that don't interest me and I don't comment on it.

As I have said time and time again everyone uses fab differently and it's up to each person how they use it.

I opened my filters yesterday yo receive 2 nasty messages from people I've never interacted with before ( hence why I have filters)

Anyway you use fab the way it suits you

Apologies if you felt it was a personal attack…

Maybe you’re right… Fab has changed, the people have definitely changed.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Sorry you feel like that and if you getting messages giving out about your opinion that's crap but it's part of fab.

I have started plenty of the help a fabber threads out and you have never questioned my filter status before, bogm started one a few weeks ago you didn't comment on that thread.

Yesterday I felt you personally attacked me once again as you have on other threads but I've let the comments slide, I've seen plenty of your posts that don't interest me and I don't comment on it.

As I have said time and time again everyone uses fab differently and it's up to each person how they use it.

I opened my filters yesterday yo receive 2 nasty messages from people I've never interacted with before ( hence why I have filters)

Anyway you use fab the way it suits you

Apologies if you felt it was a personal attack…

Maybe you’re right… Fab has changed, the people have definitely changed. "

The main thing that's changed about fab is that people are much more sensitive now. You're complaining about stuff that didn't even merit a timeout for anyone, or a deletion of the post, Admin are usually overprotective in these cases where people are claiming to have been abused/bullied.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The main thing that's changed about fab is that people are much more sensitive now. You're complaining about stuff that didn't even merit a timeout for anyone, "

It did. It just didn't get read until now.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP, piling on does happen on the forum at times but I would say in the thread you are complaining about that it didn't happen

You mentioned people have filters so couldn't mail others asking for a social coffee meet...people then explained how things would work if they decided to meet up with someone. You didn't seem to like that answer. It seemed a reasonable answer to me.

OK there were a couple of personal comments on the thread that broke rules but for the most part, people were polite and just explained how it was going to work.

Now I might close this one

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