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Afraid of meeting?

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By *rishcouple12 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cork County

Wonder are others finding it the same ?

Since post lockdown we have been encountering this more and more.

This seems to be more with guys (but not exclusive, nor is this an anti male post) that they mail and chat but never actually ask to meet

They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example

Don't get us wrong we don't expect the other party to be the one to ask all the time , but more and more these days it had come down to us.

Is it a fear of rejection?

Is it laziness?

This would happen in the past but these days it's more prevalent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what your saying is your for a coffee this weekend? Sound ill be there.

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By *nwrap4funMan
over a year ago

Ireland


"Wonder are others finding it the same ?

Since post lockdown we have been encountering this more and more.

This seems to be more with guys (but not exclusive, nor is this an anti male post) that they mail and chat but never actually ask to meet

They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example

Don't get us wrong we don't expect the other party to be the one to ask all the time , but more and more these days it had come down to us.

Is it a fear of rejection?

Is it laziness?

This would happen in the past but these days it's more prevalent "

I think it goes both ways tbh.

I've met up with a few people in the last few weeks, for a tea and a chat. Had a few cancelled which I understand but sometimes you can just loose interest. Especially when alot of people couldn't be bothered to reply.

Still though, no point in dwelling on it with such beautiful sunshine to brighten everyone's day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With those pics?!!

I would have thought there would be a mile long queue banging on your door

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By *laveishMan
over a year ago

kildare

Definitely something wrong here. Can’t get a jaysus meet never mind a letdown

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By *rishcouple12 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cork County

We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us

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By *on655Man
over a year ago

Bronte


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us "

Maybe it comes down to fellas not having as much confidence as they thought they had? Could be a host of reasons. At the end of the day why talk if you’ve no intention of meeting?

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By *laveishMan
over a year ago

kildare

The criteria for a meet on some people’s profiles can be mind boggling. What ever happened to just a coffee and see how it goes

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By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
over a year ago

in the waves

It's fairly common on here in my experience. A lot of guys are just looking for chats. And some people are fantasists with no intention of ever meeting.

Be forward and ask for a coffee meet if that is what you want. You'll know fairly quickly if they intend to actually meet you.

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By *laveishMan
over a year ago

kildare


"It's fairly common on here in my experience. A lot of guys are just looking for chats. And some people are fantasists with no intention of ever meeting.

Be forward and ask for a coffee meet if that is what you want. You'll know fairly quickly if they intend to actually meet you. "

Fancy a coffee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer

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By *laveishMan
over a year ago

kildare


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "

THIS

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.

I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/08/22 18:01:30]

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By *on655Man
over a year ago

Bronte


"I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.

I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all."

Nail on the head

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "

Not my experience as a single man on here at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer

Not my experience as a single man on here at all "

No need to rub it in.

In all seriousness however, you may be lucky I have had the most demanding experiences with women and couples alike. Part of the reason I rarely use this site tbh.

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By *rish CougarWoman
over a year ago

Bray


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us "

You can invite me for coffee..... anytime

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By *laveishMan
over a year ago

kildare


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us

You can invite me for coffee..... anytime "

Likewise

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By *rishcouple12 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cork County


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us

You can invite me for coffee..... anytime "

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin


"In all seriousness however, you may be lucky I have had the most demanding experiences with women and couples alike. Part of the reason I rarely use this site tbh. "

I get lots of demand too but they usually start with “stop” and end with “ya little fucker”………

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am finding it hard to get replies much less interest to go further but just luck of the draw. Could also just be a cork thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us

You can invite me for coffee..... anytime

Likewise"

have you all single men blocked since this post?

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "

My experience has been the complete opposite.

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By *tslife222Man
over a year ago

by the sea louth


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer "

Never had this happen, thank god!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Cant really blame them.. Single men get treated very badly here, people expect you to drop everything and run to their beckon call if they clicked their fingers and if you don't you're branded a timewaster or messer

My experience has been the complete opposite. "

I have experienced this but only because I don't react as expected to introductory messages which are basically a list of instructions.

As already said above there is a fine line between being confident and asking to meet and being too pushy.

It's not just men who get knocked back or rejected but it's all in the tone.

I don't send messages so all conversations are started by others and the only abuse I've ever received have been simply because I said no. No arguments, no disagreements but just a polite no I'm not interested in your demands and that's when the dummy spitting starts.

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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Kerry and Dublin


"

They will mail and after a few mails, will hint at meeting but never actually come out and say "are ye for a coffee this weekend' for example

"

How many mails are we talking and how well has the conversation been flowing?

Have ye given reasonable indication that ye would be willing to meet for a coffee?

If a guy asks to meet too early in an interaction, then the likely answer is no and that's the end of the conversation.

The guy is probably thinking that he needs to build enough rapport before asking and, not just that, have a reasonable idea that the answer is going to be yes bcos, again, if he asks too soon the answer is likely to be no and that's the end of the conversation.

When replies are scarce on here, there might be a tendency to err on the side of over caution.

That being said, let's meet for a coffee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s difficult at times here being a single fella to get the right balance between being respectful, friendly and patient, and being pushy.

I think if I’ve been chatting to someone for a while and I’ve said let me know if you’re free for a coffee some time, or we should have coffee some time, personally, I probably leave it at that and let the other person make the next move or suggestion so to speak, otherwise I just feel like I’m being pushy, I’ve made the suggestion and feel if the other person is interested they’ll say so, if or when it suits them and then arrangements can be make for a time and place to please all."

Well said, I do think it's difficult for many men to make the first move and there's only so much rejection one person can be expected to take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That said, OP, lots of guys are here purely for dirty talk and wanks, don't indulge them and they will either make a move or move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We aren't talking about people no showing or nothing happening after a coffee meet, we simply mean people not even bringing it as far as a coffee. Guys (mostly) chatting a bit and saying how they'd love to meet but never actually saying fancy a coffee. We are not afraid to ask people for coffee but we are just getting a bit tired of it always being us

You can invite me for coffee..... anytime "

Plus Dinner, Bed and Breakfast

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

So anyone fancy a

Coffee

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By *inion42Man
over a year ago

minionland

I was reading this post and was pondering in adding my 2cents so I though I would.

After he lockdown I think people were very much in town minds whether to do anything, as in I should be doing something, but I need to be pushed, people need to infused with the social dopamine that comes from meeting people

On a personal level I would never have the “bottle” to actually essage a couple I saw an interest in, however in a social setting I would definitely say hello and have a yap

To Conclude and something that could be tied together (see what I did there) is rejection from a lots of people on here and rejection criteria.

Myself I’m just going with the flow

Rejection is when your past V1 and your ass is on fire on the runway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean some men actually get invites ?? I dont even get fuckin replies lol

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