FabSwingers.com forum: I’d make slut shaming a thing?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello fabsters!

Just trying get your perspective on this topic. I have got a few messages on here before saying that I have too many verifications and once told I was ‘too busy’ whatever that means.

I’m very comfortable with who I am. If I heard a man make a remark like that against a girl, I wouldn’t hold that man in much regard. It is a swingers site after all.

So are ‘too many’ verifications a bad thing for a lad? I thought veri’s were supposed to be the proof that your not a time waster etc…

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

From talking to various people it doesn't seem to matter as much about the quantity but who they're actually from instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your literally always going to have too much, too little, too large, too small, too bright, too dim, too loud, too quiet etc.. etc... something for someone....

Fuck em

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It already is a thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying that if it was a reply to a message you sent then it's a valid reason for someone to give to not want to meet in my opinion. A long as they weren't insulting about it

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"From talking to various people it doesn't seem to matter as much about the quantity but who they're actually from instead. "

The amount dosent bother me you could have 100+ or just 2 from certain people it's because of them 2 id decline.....it's always quality over quantity for me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a fackin' slut Whir!

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By *uess.who30Man
over a year ago

Galway/Dublin/London

I wouldn't be overly concerned about those individuals as often there can be double standards applied or an actual lack of understanding of what this place is or even how those veris came to be.

You have a good profile and a fair few of your veris are on my hotlist.

There can be many psychological reasons a woman may not like seeing so many varies, and its nearly 100% of the time an issue of their own that can't be fixed by anything you say.

At the end of the day only you can decide what veris are viewable and as long as you are happy to display them, then do so.. but you can also have 30 veris with only 10 or 5 showing if you wanted.

Ive found as your profile gets stronger and more you.. it becomes much easier here to connect with those you'd actually enjoy meeting/get along with and red flags can become more apparent for you at a much earlier stage, which saves you time for the connections you really want to make.

Sometimes easier said than done for some people, but i feel you can only be slut shamed if you feel like a "slutty" person yourself and if you're somewhat ashamed.

Kudos to you!

but i see it here all the time where certain women realise the power they wield based on the numbers on fab and then actually become the female version of the pigs they have despised their whole lives... its one of my favourite LOL's

Like some people won't like the length of my forum posts at times, but it would never stop me from doing me and they can just not message me and i wont really care!

C'est la Vie

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

I'm afraid to know what they say about me then with the amount I have .

I say if they think ya have to many there not for u stay true your self..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your literally always going to have too much, too little, too large, too small, too bright, too dim, too loud, too quiet etc.. etc... something for someone....

Fuck em "

This

if you're happy with your sex life and nobody (including yourself) is getting hurt - fuck em

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By *acob12369Man
over a year ago

URPANTS

"Your literally always going to have too much, too little, too large, too small, too bright, too dim, too loud, too quiet etc.. etc... something for someone....

Fuck em

This

if you're happy with your sex life and nobody (including yourself) is getting hurt - fuck em"

You're too right

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By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
over a year ago

City Centre, Dublin

Bit of a humblebrag about this post

“I’ve so many meets, than people won’t meet me because I’ve meet so many people

Aaargh life is so tough”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got turned down saying I had no veris(like I do now) then I called in a favour from a past meet and got verified 5 mins later then they still said they were not interested.

Some people are just not here for any purpose.

Also I was spending the night in a back arse town and she said nobody on the site has ever been staying around there I mean really???

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

I really don't care what others do, I'm only concerned about my own profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Loving the feed back guys, just good to get other peoples opinions

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit of a humblebrag about this post

“I’ve so many meets, than people won’t meet me because I’ve meet so many people

Aaargh life is so tough”"

Bro, I wish I could brag!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't be overly concerned about those individuals as often there can be double standards applied or an actual lack of understanding of what this place is or even how those veris came to be.

You have a good profile and a fair few of your veris are on my hotlist.

There can be many psychological reasons a woman may not like seeing so many varies, and its nearly 100% of the time an issue of their own that can't be fixed by anything you say.

At the end of the day only you can decide what veris are viewable and as long as you are happy to display them, then do so.. but you can also have 30 veris with only 10 or 5 showing if you wanted.

Sometimes easier said than done for some people, but i feel you can only be slut shamed if you feel like a "slutty" person yourself and if you're somewhat ashamed.

Kudos to you!

Like some people won't like the length of my forum posts at times, but it would never stop me from doing me and they can just not message me and i wont really care!

C'est la Vie

Absolutely love this!

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

Over the years we have noticed many guys who you might describe as no hopers with 1 or maybe 2 verifications from the same one or two mature couples.

I find this more off putting than someone who has plenty of genuine verifications

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By *ofistimacatedMan
over a year ago

cavan town

A guy can have 100 veris with 99 of them received from people he just chatted to at a meet and greet. Hardly makes him a manslut

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"A guy can have 100 veris with 99 of them received from people he just chatted to at a meet and greet. Hardly makes him a manslut "

Just a social hoor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get why people get so hung up on being accepted on here..

Can I do this ..should i do this ...if I do that bla bla bla no one gives a shit what anyone else does

Do what ever ya want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and it's not pokemon , you dont have to catch em all...

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By *tslife222Man
over a year ago

by the sea louth

"Don't get why people get so hung up on being accepted on here..

Can I do this ..should i do this ...if I do that bla bla bla no one gives a shit what anyone else does

Do what ever ya want

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

Im proud of my veris. They were hard earned, and required perseverance , doggedness, hard work,charm, and a smarts based approach to fab. Am i a slut?.. Its not a word i use myself for a sexually adventurous man or woman . Good on you OP.

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By *ild WomanWoman
over a year ago

Carlow

Everyone to own. I have been to social meet and greet, had coffee with other people and then have fun with some people. So I lots of different types of verifications.

I'm happy but I might not be your choice and it doesn't bother me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

According to my verification summary I've had 133 meets

Been told before I've " been around the block" , " your not a swinger all your veris are from socials"

You can't win on here,just do what suits you. For me it's more about the quality not the quantity and yes I will avoid guys who have been verified by certain fabbers, which I would do in vanilla life.

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By *ildGroverMan
over a year ago

rathfarnham

As long as you are still getting action... does it matter??

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

"From talking to various people it doesn't seem to matter as much about the quantity but who they're actually from instead.

The amount dosent bother me you could have 100+ or just 2 from certain people it's because of them 2 id decline.....it's always quality over quantity for me..."

Same. I can read 15 glowing veris but then see one from one person and it’s a HUGE nope.

Equally I can see a veri from one person and think ooooo!!!

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

How many doesn't bother me but like some have said veris from certain people I would avoid

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks very much for the feed back, just interesting to hear other peoples opinions.

Happy fabbing darlings

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

The ridiculous part is you can hide your summary and only publish a few of your veris and no one would know any different.

As others have said, I scan through veris and make a judgement from there based on the type, who they’re from etc. I will also check what kind of veris the guy has left for others as explicit ones give me the ick.

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By *asterandhissparklesCouple
over a year ago

tipperary

Whir... Just ignore... You can't make happy everyone and just keep being the nice person we met.

Someone says "you are too busy" just answer "that's normally what happens when someone is good..."

If you are not there should be a reason

Anto

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sound anto, appreciate that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

I get messages sometimes saying “oh you guys are very experienced” but we just talk to a lot of people at events

I do read peoples veris though and I like to look for a consistent pattern throughout that will give us an idea whether it’s someone we’d like to hang out with. It’s easy to read between the lines too sometimes.

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork

Its a mixed reaction from a lot of people......some like veris others dont.

Im far less verified than most of the previous posters and still have been told im too experienced....which is fine btw.

That said i have had some excellent meets with singles/couples who had their stall strictly set out they didnt want verifications.

Different strokes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't like them I see some people just bluffing saying one thing and in private saying another, people pleasing at times to be honest. I feel I don't need people's approval anymore am happy in my own skin. Also I don't want to give or receive for privacy reasons aswell. Everyone to their own desires.

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork

Reality is we are all free to accept or decline on this forum......should never be any pressure associated with same or any offence taken when an offer is declined.

Verifications are mere pandering in many cases in any event.

Previous post about being comfortable in ones own skin works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't be overly concerned about those individuals as often there can be double standards applied or an actual lack of understanding of what this place is or even how those veris came to be.

You have a good profile and a fair few of your veris are on my hotlist.

There can be many psychological reasons a woman may not like seeing so many varies, and its nearly 100% of the time an issue of their own that can't be fixed by anything you say.

At the end of the day only you can decide what veris are viewable and as long as you are happy to display them, then do so.. but you can also have 30 veris with only 10 or 5 showing if you wanted.

Sometimes easier said than done for some people, but i feel you can only be slut shamed if you feel like a "slutty" person yourself and if you're somewhat ashamed.

Kudos to you!

Like some people won't like the length of my forum posts at times, but it would never stop me from doing me and they can just not message me and i wont really care!

C'est la Vie

very well out especially about the shame part people are living carrying the shame about being sexy be it slutty or otherwise. It's not the easiest thing to just swipe from the human mindset when parents and religion taught us otherwise as young ones. I remember not being aloud with boys at all in my teens, i was grounded if i was caught and that's just one example.

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