FabSwingers.com forum: Preference.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey all.

I intend to tread SUPREMELY carefully here.... my intention is not cause or invite controversy or start an argument - but I'm interested in learning more about how my fellow deviants think about this matter!

Preferences. We all have them. I'm quite partial to the nordic look in women, tall, athletic, blonde or red hair....

But when does that preference cross into racism, homophobia or any other form of discrimination?

For instance, many profiles openly state that they have no interest in meeting bisexual men, in fact many profiles SCREAM IT, yet the profile will happily state the lady is bi-sexual.

Why? The gentleman in question is still physically, intellectually and emotionally the same individual... nothing has changed. If his bisexuality hadn't been stated clearly you'd have never have had an inkling. But the knowledge that he enjoys sex with members of his own gender automatically disqualifies him as attractive. Is this discrimination? Homophobia?

There are also profiles that profess that only black men need bother attempting to contact them.

Why? Are white men simply unattractive to them? Why? What is it about white men that's unappealing?

And indeed I've seen the reverse, no black men need bother contacting (usually followed by the weak sauce, "not racist, just a preference") is this discrimination? Making a judgement on a whole race simply because of the colour of their skin?

Then we have trans women, who are women. Am I transphobic if I choose not to engage with a woman who was assigned the male sex at birth?

To use my earlier argument, physically, emotionally, intellectually they present as an attractive woman... if it is simply my knowledge of them as a trans individual keeping me from seeing them as a viable partner... is that not discriminatory?

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Ah sure look, y'know yourself, like..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ah sure look, y'know yourself, like..

It is what it is!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a Saturday morning, try not to think too much.

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

People are perfectly entitled to be homophobic and/or racist at the end of the day. Especially on a site like fab where plenty of people while prioritise getting the ride over everything else.

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By *oulernerMan
over a year ago

Dublin City

I actually had a similar thought regarding ethnicity recently because I read on a couple of profiles of coloured women that they refuse to be fetishised based on their origins. As well as some forum thread a while ago that had a discussion on this.

At which point does it cross over from "I find this aesthetic beautiful" to some weird form of racism? It's a very odd topic, that and I have no answers to it for now.

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By *ursecretmischiefCouple
over a year ago

The West

"I actually had a similar thought regarding ethnicity recently because I read on a couple of profiles of coloured women that they refuse to be fetishised based on their origins. As well as some forum thread a while ago that had a discussion on this.

At which point does it cross over from "I find this aesthetic beautiful" to some weird form of racism? It's a very odd topic, that and I have no answers to it for now."

This topic can often get controversial!

It's all about opinion and choice if your attracted to a particular person then their sexuality or race shouldn't really be a deal breaker, but for some it is and thats their choice!

The Bi-man thing is definitely a societal thing and womens ingrained views on masculinity. It didn't bother the Romans and they were the most toxic-masculine fuckers ever!

The racial thing I am always uneasy about. I don't understand why black men tolerate that shit. It's foundation's are in rampant racism and s(avery. Is it just that the ego gets massaged and they're happy with that?...The whole QoS thing that the porn industry introduced to try an mask this is even more demeaning!

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I think it depends how you go about pursuing your preferences and the motivation behind them. Maybe as a simple rule you can say if you're outspoken about it in a negative way and your motivation is based on generalisation/assumption eliciting dislike/distain you might have crossed the line.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"People are perfectly entitled to be homophobic and/or racist at the end of the day. Especially on a site like fab where plenty of people while prioritise getting the ride over everything else. "

Entitled to be homophobic or racist??? Really??? FS lenses, are you having a bad day or is your brain still asleep?

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Preferences with regards appearance and character are totally understandable. We all have them.

I have a problem with the biphobia though.

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"People are perfectly entitled to be homophobic and/or racist at the end of the day. Especially on a site like fab where plenty of people while prioritise getting the ride over everything else.

Entitled to be homophobic or racist??? Really??? FS lenses, are you having a bad day or is your brain still asleep? "

Let me clarify. Entitled from a rules/legal point of view. If someone says they wouldn't sleep with a bi-man more often then not it's because they think he is isn't a " real man" or somerthing ridiculous along those lines. Now my personal opinion is that someone like that is best avoided like the plague but there is the fact that there isn't anything against the rules in having an opinion like that. Doesn't make having an opinion like that right or acceptable in my eyes obviously.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I do make a joke every now and then about the no bi men profiles....its just a preference like any other so it doesn't really bother me

The big black cock and the use of the BBC term confuse me....always assumed it had something to do with s lavery in the past to be honest

What I don't like to see on a profile and I don't think irish profiles use it..."No Asians " ....I honestly think its racist and a lot of uk profiles use it

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

You fancy who you fancy OP. It’s all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You fancy who you fancy OP. It’s all good

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all it's good to see you back posting on the forums OP

Secondly I'll clarify from the outset that this is the female half posting this reply.

I believe it's a very fine line however it's also my belief that it's easy to hide behind the "it's just my preference" line. I think more often than not, these preferences ARE rooted in discrimination/racism/homo and transphobia et al. These views may be subconsciously held but I believe they're there nonetheless.

As for the "it's no different to preferring blonde haired women/tall men etc" argument, I'm afraid it very much is. The protected characteristics under the equality act are there because these are characteristics that have, for generations, been treated less favourably and faced prejudice because they were seen as outside of societal norms. What has that got to do with who you choose to fuck you may ask? Absolutely nothing is my answer. We all have absolute power of choice over who we share our bodies with. But that wasn't the question asked in the OP. It would be foolish to think people - even here - would not be influenced by societal views and prejudices. And subconsciously or otherwise they are presented here as "just preferences"

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