FabSwingers.com forum: Pigeon holes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not a fan of strict categorizing and labeling. For instance;

I prefer to have sex with women, therefore I am straight...

I'm not willing to meet a man for sex, therefore I'm not gay.

I am willing to meet an M/F couple where the M is Bi-curious, but UNSURE how far I would go in the heat of the moment.

Now, how do I label myself in the Gay - Bi - Straight spectrum? Do I say I'm bi-curious, because I'm not really. I don't think about sex with men, but I know I'm very open minded (probably too much, if that's possible) and could envisage allowing a man to give me pleasure as long as there's a woman playing with us in some way. The mental leap whereby I am giving oral to a man etc is a bridge too far for me, at least right now anyway.

So if I say I'm 'Bi-curious,' then naturally I assume I will receive mail from gay / bi men, and could not complain about it as that is reasonable given how I state my sexuality.

I don't want to waste a couple's time by saying I'm Bi and then bottling at the last moment, then I'm a time waster / fake, which is unfair.

Clearly the solution is to exchange honest messages with your proposed playmates in advance so there are reasonable expectations.

But how do you get that all important message exchange going, if people have certain filters or if they say they won't meet a bi male, even if it would be clear where the boundaries would be set long before so much as a button gets undone.

What do you peeps think?

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the exact same boat, list myself as bi curious when really I'm just open minded to any possiblilties. You get couples that won't meet unless your bi and others won't meet if you are. Even being bicurious isn't enough for bi couples, had one instance where because I'd never fucked a guy the couple wouldn't meet* so its a minefield even if people do over look curious

*no problem with this of course, if that what a couple ate after you can hardly complain about it