FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosted/Ghosting

By *anillabellini OP Couple
over a year ago

Cork limerick and in-between

Just curious to see how common this is and opinions on it. We’ve been chatting with a lady for weeks, full of enthusiasm, all up for meeting, exchanged kik etc and had planned a coffee meet to plan a play meet. Then she disappears into the ether, no blocking, just online but ignoring our messages, kik no response either. Don’t get me wrong we know people and circumstances change but why just not say no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages? As in multiple here and then also on kik?

Is there any chance she just felt ye were a bit full on?

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By *ornywife20Couple
over a year ago

North Cork

Happens to us from time to time it's annoying but don't let it get to you . There are plenty nice people to suit everyone on fab . Some chancers but we find most are genuine.

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By *anillabellini OP Couple
over a year ago

Cork limerick and in-between

"Messages? As in multiple here and then also on kik?

Is there any chance she just felt ye were a bit full on?"

Multiple as in flowing conversations back and forth

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By *anillabellini OP Couple
over a year ago

Cork limerick and in-between

"Happens to us from time to time it's annoying but don't let it get to you . There are plenty nice people to suit everyone on fab . Some chancers but we find most are genuine. "

Oh it’s not getting to us lol, just curious to see opinions on it, the time wasting is the annoying part

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By *ixenforfunWoman
over a year ago

banes mask

While maybe a bit rude, it could well be a thing she decided ye werent that compatible and decided to ignore rather face the possibilty of abuse by saying so. (Not saying you would have done that im only saying its possibly what she might have been thinking)

"She" may well have been a "he" although i think they are tightening things up in that regard.

Its happens across the board. Best bet is to block and delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Messages? As in multiple here and then also on kik?

Is there any chance she just felt ye were a bit full on?

Multiple as in flowing conversations back and forth "

Ah ok " just online but ignoring our messages, kik no response either."

That line just made me wonder. I get busy from time to time and leave messages unread here and kik so I remember to go back and reply. But if I got follow up messages asking why I wasn't replying etc... I'd move on.

So was just checking that side of it.

As other have said best to forget and move on. It does happen unfortunately

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By *oulernerMan
over a year ago

Dublin City

Yeah I don't understand this behavior at all. If I'm not interested a "sorry I changed my mind" message should be really all it takes. If they get abusive, you can easily block them at that point and if they were prone to that behavior, it would probably happen through ghosting anyway.

The only reasonable explanation for me is if they were cheating and then needed to block the other party in order to remove all potential conversation logs or something.

I personally would never consciously ghost someone, no matter the reason. It's basic human decency to at least say farewell, especially if there's been a good bit of time invested by both parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get ghosted a lot ! It’s sucks but you have to just roll with it and learn from it.

It doesn’t just happen on fab. It happens a lot on tinder too. I had a fantastic date with this girl and it went great.

It was kind of like a first date/catch up since we had sort of met before. Everything I had planned went perfectly it literally couldn’t have gone better. We really got on and at the end we both agreed we should do something again.

Long story short it’s been two weeks since my last message haha. Just FYI I haven’t sent a shower of messages like what happens here on fab haha.

I kind of wish she would just say she’s not into it or it’s not going to work because I’ve been trying to retrace the date to find out what went wrong. It’s kind of giving me a headache and to be honest it does affect your confidence.

Oh well sometimes things just work out that way. I really had a blast hanging out with though fun times.

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By *rakesterlingMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Another possibility, without the desire to start a war over it, is that she is actually married and when things got too hot and were to be taken to another level, she folded.

Again, total and complete assumption here, without knowing any of the details.

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By *oandFroCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Another possibility, without the desire to start a war over it, is that she is actually married and when things got too hot and were to be taken to another level, she folded.

Again, total and complete assumption here, without knowing any of the details. "

Could be likely and the thought of doing something is often easier or more appealing then actually engaging or guilt kicks in. But either way it happens us occasionally too I think its either men passing as women, or married or just genuinely changed there mind, either way like someone said earlier a quick message "changed my mind" would give closure to many then if the block that's fine .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had the female half of a couple message me on multiple occasions. Usually replies to a forum post, bit of banter etc. And she asked to meet then for a social where I was told be prepared because more than likely this will turn into a play meet. We got on really well too. And a day before the meet all contact stopped.

I sent a couple of messages since, how are things and is everything ok kinda thing. They get read but no reply. No block or anything.

Who knows why people are like that but this is a well verified profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just curious to see how common this is and opinions on it. We’ve been chatting with a lady for weeks, full of enthusiasm, all up for meeting, exchanged kik etc and had planned a coffee meet to plan a play meet. Then she disappears into the ether, no blocking, just online but ignoring our messages, kik no response either. Don’t get me wrong we know people and circumstances change but why just not say no thank you. "

Oh!that's a normal thing on here...

unfortunately...had that so many times.

Oh well...their loss...

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork

After reading the responses. There is also one thing I don't think that was considered. There is also the chance of talking behind back/rumour mill. Don't get me wrong. I'm not implying any knowledge of such a thing on anyone. But I'm sure it happens. Scratch sure. It definitely happens. For whatever reason.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Could be worse....you could be Paul The GAA player

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Happens all the time and part of the scene. It’s unfortunate and frustrating but don’t take it to heart

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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago

Limerick, Clare, Tipperary

So, had a brief intro message exchange with one member on here, just the usual courtesy stuff before anything else. Anyway, I have only realized now, that I have been blocked

OK, I'll take it as a 'not interested'. But, WTF, like?

I presume, that we are adults on here, I presume, that we all know the difference between having interaction with someone we are mad about and with someone, just because no-one else's around...

My point is, I can take '...sorry, you are not my type' message without any sulking and I can type the same without any bad feeling

Blocking instead of this message says a lot about the user on the other end, in my opinion.

Same about other types of ghosting, if that's all what 'they' can do, let 'em eat their cake, so

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't really count chat stopping as ghosting. It's usually just the other person has changed their mind. Chats quite often fizzle out on here as.well,even when you think they are going well. It's just the norm.

I know I have cooled chatting to a couple of people after I agreed to meet them because they went from being able to hold a conversation to just talking about sex all the time and even when I have made it clear it's just going to be a coffee and chat you know they are expecting more .So yes I have cooled off on chats but then I've told them why as well though .

To be ghosting would be when someone doesn't show for a meet. Just stopping chatting wouldn't be.

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By *ealmc1973Man
over a year ago

Limerick, Clare, Tipperary

Not showing up for a meet, without excuse, is 'no-show'. Even worse than blocking or such. Pure time wasting.

I think, term of 'ghosting' means that people, sort of turn into that elusive ghost, they are here, but pretending that they are invisible, out of reach...for some.

Maybe it's the Irish way of dealing with things in general: sweeping shoite under the carpet and pretending that nothing has happened, instead of taking the 'trouble' and 2 minutes of one's time and say it as it is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me in my case I hqve been ghosted. The conversation definitely hadn't fizzled at all. It wasn't me who suggested the meet. The lady in question picked the day and place too. We just hadn't set a time. If anything the conversation was heating up. Then nothing. No replies of any kind. Honestly I'm ok with rejection christ this is the wrong place if you are not ok with rejection but any sort of reply I think is basic manners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, had a brief intro message exchange with one member on here, just the usual courtesy stuff before anything else. Anyway, I have only realized now, that I have been blocked

OK, I'll take it as a 'not interested'. But, WTF, like?

I presume, that we are adults on here, I presume, that we all know the difference between having interaction with someone we are mad about and with someone, just because no-one else's around...

My point is, I can take '...sorry, you are not my type' message without any sulking and I can type the same without any bad feeling

Blocking instead of this message says a lot about the user on the other end, in my opinion.

Same about other types of ghosting, if that's all what 'they' can do, let 'em eat their cake, so

Tbh getting worked up over being blocked says more about the person than blocking someone in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone transfers from online to reality...some people rather be in their heads and online ...their entitled to that too need to spot them early in communication is the key

..and like people said anything could be happening in the background that's no ones business...

A lot of people only passing through here... take it with a pinch of salt and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not everyone transfers from online to reality...some people rather be in their heads and online ...their entitled to that too need to spot them early in communication is the key

..and like people said anything could be happening in the background that's no ones business...

A lot of people only passing through here... take it with a pinch of salt and move on "

Agreed. No point letting it get to you in a situation like this. To be honest I only shared my experience because the thread was started and who knows it may inspire one or two people to maybe just write no thanks in the future lol.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

Everyone has the right the change their mind … it would have been nice if she had informed you of the change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive started to use the wick r ap instead of kik its safer and can do more on it.

Helps when your been ghosted you can put a time on yiur messages and photos on it nad nothing can be screenshot.

Just suggestion for all,you Fabbers so be safe and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone has the right the change their mind … it would have been nice if she had informed you of the change

Agreed.

It's just basic manners really. But fab is full of people and loads more fun to be had so I just moved on fairly swiftly and genuinely didn't really think about it since until this thread started

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been ghosted a few times. Doesnt bother me on this site tbh. Would prefer a straight no than drag it out but the good people I have met have more than made up for it.

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By *exesrangerMan
over a year ago

Ennis

I'm just ghosting everyone right now. It makes me feel better about myself like I'm in control cause I'm a real person with real feelings and I just can't take it anymore... I'm a male, get me out of here !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all need to take a break from social media it's great I took a year out of Kik last year,and only this week taking a break from kik chat group.. I honestly feel the better of it .x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Part of online life, rejoined tinder this week matched with 2 guys chatting away and both unmatched today.

I find the chat can wean off when its just online and tbh the minute a conversation starts down the sexy chat with someone I've never met I just pull back as most of time just a guy looking for wank fodder.

Rejection on here it happens its not nice but it just means they have removed themselves from wasting your time

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By *upermanslovechildMan
over a year ago

Glasnevin

I've had the same issue several times, just one of those things about Fab unfortunately.

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By *ildatlanticMan
over a year ago

Gran Canaria

Was she from roscommon.

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