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Relationship without sex

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By *idlandsBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

not shown

Does it work?

No...

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By *ligolad321Man
over a year ago

Donegal

Platonic relationships with the opposite sex are a thing...

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

A sexual relationship doesn't work without sex generally

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Some people are able to. It wouldn't work for me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??"

I don't think there is one rule for everyone. Different people have different sex drives and can tolerate different sexless periods.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??

I don't think there is one rule for everyone. Different people have different sex drives and can tolerate different sexless periods."

Kids, the little feckers have a lot to answer for!!

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By *ursecretmischiefCouple
over a year ago

The West


"What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??

I don't think there is one rule for everyone. Different people have different sex drives and can tolerate different sexless periods."

Yes, different people have different sex drive. We think physical intimacy is very important in a relationship, the volume of sex would come second!

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By *hicotime123Man
over a year ago

dublin

For me speaking from personal experience it doesn’t work was in a sexless relationship for like 2 years so had to end it as wasn’t fair to either of us

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??

I don't think there is one rule for everyone. Different people have different sex drives and can tolerate different sexless periods.

Kids, the little feckers have a lot to answer for!!"

I hear you. We have 5 in the house and there is no greater cock blocker than small needy humans, combined with tiredness and stress... not to mention the effect pregnancy and birth has on bodies.

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By *arajeanCouple
over a year ago

mayo

Would be like toast without marmalade

Does not work

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

I have know relationships that did not involve sex: one guy (many decades ago) used to expose himself to me, quite frequently, and complain that his wife refused him any form of sexual activity. There was a half-door, that was the front door, and he would often be urinating out over it, as I arrived. He also stored his urine in bottles around his house. His was a dysfunctional relationship without sex.

I know of a guy who had an erotomanic obsession with a lady who was way out of his league, a long way. They had a relationship that did not involve sex.

Their are some people who use sex, or the potential of sexual activity, as a means of power and control over the partner. These are abusive relationships.

Regrettably, in former times when pre-marital sex was effectively banned by the catholic church, some people did not discover that their partner was not interested in sex until they were married to them.

Some just had a very low libido or were actually homosexual but had married as a cover for their real desire for sex with the same gender.

I know of a guy who is a virgin in his late-60s, who would not get married because he has an exceptionally small penis and would never be capable of penetration.

Another couple I knew got married as a business arrangement and sex did not really feature in their relationship.

A sexual relationship us effectively doomed if they married because they were sexually attracted to one another, initially, but sex has now stopped.

The latter requires a thorough investigation by an experienced professional sexual therapist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was getting sex off the wife I wouldn’t be on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was getting sex off the wife I wouldn’t be on here"

Used to have fantastic sex with my wife. Last 5-6 years it’s just gone flat and neither can be bothered mostly. In the past we would have done it everywhere. When we started going out she didn’t like from behind, that changed soon enough! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our own reasons to be on fab it's not a dating site, knowbody can judge anyone and they do, it's a swinging site and I love it ...without the drama of course x lou

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By *lytrucker32Man
over a year ago

Killeagh

[Removed by poster at 30/04/22 21:45:13]

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By *lytrucker32Man
over a year ago

Killeagh


"If I was getting sex off the wife I wouldn’t be on here"

What he said....however being on here doesn't get me any either but the craic is good so I hang around..with her and here

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

It works wonderfully for me and my dog and this is the best relationship I've ever had

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By *ed Viking80Man
over a year ago

Northern Ireland


"If I was getting sex off the wife I wouldn’t be on here

What he said....however being on here doesn't get me any either but the craic is good so I hang around..with her and here "

What they said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a relationship for a good few years with no sex as he was impedant, at that stage of my life i didn't really want sex. We had Everything else there in the relationship,lived separately our kids hung together, we stayed in eachothers houses a few times a week. We cuddled kissed sometimes. Eventually our lives just went separate ways and we drifted but it was okay.

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By *olouWoman
over a year ago

Swords

I'm here due to sexless marriage, still love him but to young to not be having sex,had a conversation and he knows I'm here so nothing hidden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like Lou above. Still love my partner but too young not to be having sex.

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

I seem to be in one

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

The question is too general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm here due to sexless marriage, still love him but to young to not be having sex,had a conversation and he knows I'm here so nothing hidden "

Same situation with my wife. Her libido has nose dived but this is due her bipolar meds so it isn’t her fault. I never made her feel bad about it or complained about it because I knew it wasn’t her fault. So me getting sex elsewhere was actually her idea. Hence why I’m here. Still a lot of love and affection in our marriage, just with the physical love making.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does happen, shouldn't happen but it's real life so it's the reason some of us are here

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Mungret

I guess I'd be in the same boat like some of you on here.

For a good number of years my wife and myself had no sex...circa 10 years now.

She lost her interest in sex after we had kids.

Since then I have decided to join fab and have not been as successful as most single men on here...many women are against married guys.

Sad but true.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town


"I guess I'd be in the same boat like some of you on here.

For a good number of years my wife and myself had no sex...circa 10 years now.

She lost her interest in sex after we had kids.

Since then I have decided to join fab and have not been as successful as most single men on here...many women are against married guys.

Sad but true."
is your understanding that people on a swinging site it shouldn't matter if your married or not. I'm not getting at you, but I've noticed if you choose not to get involved with someone that's in a relationship some not all get offended if you say no thank you .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was In a,sexless relationship for 4 years in one way it was my fault,she mentally and verbally broke me down to nothing so to touch her was never going to happen again, so if someone loses their want for sex naturally is one thing, but to be with a person you fear and hate that a different world to live in...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was getting sex off the wife I wouldn’t be on here"

Your wife must be related to mine!!???

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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago

South County Dublin

I'm on here as my wife has MS and we have not been intimate for at least 5 years. I have gotten over no sex it is the stress that is killing me. I was at the Alt desires social and had such a laugh, which I needed. There has to be a connection for sex to be really enjoyable. We are still the best of friends but your health is your wealth. There are some men out there and they treat women like dirt. I have respect for women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it doesn't intimacy is needed for a very healthy relationship, no intimacy then best can come.from it is a very good friendship that's all

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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago

South County Dublin

We are the best of friends but I could do with some sex

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By *ensualandslow321Man
over a year ago

Tullamore

I have a wonderful, practical relationship with my wife. We get on great and have 3 wonderful sons. I have to pre-emtpt this by saying that I haven't read the previous posts. My wife's menopause was life changing for both of us,really really difficult and its amazing we are still together. Her libedo was/is shot to shit but she has been so unselfish to accommodate my needs. I'll probably regret posting this but fuck it, but anyway its the truth. Here goes Lol

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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago

South County Dublin


"I have a wonderful, practical relationship with my wife. We get on great and have 3 wonderful sons. I have to pre-emtpt this by saying that I haven't read the previous posts. My wife's menopause was life changing for both of us,really really difficult and its amazing we are still together. Her libedo was/is shot to shit but she has been so unselfish to accommodate my needs. I'll probably regret posting this but fuck it, but anyway its the truth. Here goes Lol"
fair play to you for posting, do not worry what other people think

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By *ensualandslow321Man
over a year ago

Tullamore


"I have a wonderful, practical relationship with my wife. We get on great and have 3 wonderful sons. I have to pre-emtpt this by saying that I haven't read the previous posts. My wife's menopause was life changing for both of us,really really difficult and its amazing we are still together. Her libedo was/is shot to shit but she has been so unselfish to accommodate my needs. I'll probably regret posting this but fuck it, but anyway its the truth. Here goes Lol fair play to you for posting, do not worry what other people think "

Cheers man, just thought I was being a bit too open and vulnerable to negative responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm on here as my wife has MS and we have not been intimate for at least 5 years. I have gotten over no sex it is the stress that is killing me. I was at the Alt desires social and had such a laugh, which I needed. There has to be a connection for sex to be really enjoyable. We are still the best of friends but your health is your wealth. There are some men out there and they treat women like dirt. I have respect for women "
there is women that treat men like dirt...

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Mungret


"I guess I'd be in the same boat like some of you on here.

For a good number of years my wife and myself had no sex...circa 10 years now.

She lost her interest in sex after we had kids.

Since then I have decided to join fab and have not been as successful as most single men on here...many women are against married guys.

Sad but true. is your understanding that people on a swinging site it shouldn't matter if your married or not. I'm not getting at you, but I've noticed if you choose not to get involved with someone that's in a relationship some not all get offended if you say no thank you .

"

It should not matter but majority just rather single guys. I do respect that therefore I don't cry a river on here.

To me it would be even better meet married person due to same level of interest in sex. I'm not saying that single are not on the same level , lol . Single people tend to look for a relationship somewhere at the back of theirs heads...or I could be mistaken.

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Mungret


"I'm on here as my wife has MS and we have not been intimate for at least 5 years. I have gotten over no sex it is the stress that is killing me. I was at the Alt desires social and had such a laugh, which I needed. There has to be a connection for sex to be really enjoyable. We are still the best of friends but your health is your wealth. There are some men out there and they treat women like dirt. I have respect for women "

That's the thing. Mutual respect is very important. Otherwise...why ? Why would you disrespect others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too have an MS wife ( mild enuf ms sympthoms).. the lack of communication around the MS, the lack of inclusion in how it was affecting her, the loss of a physical relationship & intimacy...the loss of everything that would be a caring relationship, led me to separating & finally divorce...had we communicated, worked together im sure a solution & compromise could have been found...but a relationship without intimacy is the rock for the ship of marriage to crash upon.

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By *idlandsBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

not shown

I agree

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By *idlandsBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

not shown

What about NON ??

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By *ensualandslow321Man
over a year ago

Tullamore


"What about NON ?? "

???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not..

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

It doesn't work

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By *razySexyCoolCorkWoman
over a year ago

Cork

In MY opinion it doesn't work and that's why some people are here. People have needs/wants/desires.

Those with their partner's permission have better communication than those without. If I, for whatever reason, lost interest in sex, I would have no problem with my partner joining a site like Fab.

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By *hare liasonMan
over a year ago

north and south of Ireland


"We all have our own reasons to be on fab it's not a dating site, knowbody can judge anyone and they do, it's a swinging site and I love it ...without the drama of course x lou "

Most sensible response I’ve heard on here…

Xxx

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Decades ago I was involved in a sexless relationship because I did not want to feel committed or attached to that particular female; I specifically ensured that I never engaged in it and waited for a opportune time to get out, for good.

Frankly, I felt that we had almost nothing in common; on the surface, yes; but it would have really been a disaster. It was guaranteed to end in divorce eventually.

The last relationship I was in was completely different: we hit it off immediately; sex was just amazing; we tried every position that we could think of, and very actively talked about bringing another trusted swinging couple in to join us.

Regrettably, that ended because she had a total breakdown and was in hospital as a result of a personal tragedy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my wife, we have a good life together and love spending time with her. penetrative sex is too painful for her thus we havent had sex in over a decade. That's why I think there should be a married but looking search option. In my opinion looking to meet other married people makes things easier as they understand if you need to cancel a meet or it's longer between meets.

However it is... married people, guys especially are really looked down on.

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By *igglebutt and FoamyCouple
over a year ago

Kildare, Cork

Its a shame so many married women who are in sexless or sexually unfulfilling marriages on here cannot see what they have in common with married men in the same position. A majority of profiles of women in this situation say "no married men dont want the hassle" or "single guys only" i know its a personal preference but it seems men in this situation have a much harder time meeting anyone

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Mungret


"Its a shame so many married women who are in sexless or sexually unfulfilling marriages on here cannot see what they have in common with married men in the same position. A majority of profiles of women in this situation say "no married men dont want the hassle" or "single guys only" i know its a personal preference but it seems men in this situation have a much harder time meeting anyone"

Unfortunately, you are dead right. It is virtually impossible.

If you are patient enough...you might get few meets, but agree...there is no way like myself that I would get as much meets as single guys.

Patients pays off so it is really worth it. You would appreciate it more.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 03/05/22 06:51:32]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Quite a few very sad and understandable / relatable stories here. I really feel for people in marriages where circumstances mean that sex is off the cards. The problem is we all know the issues around meeting those who just fancy an extra bit on the side. Getting harassed by jealous wives, getting followed, being involved (unwittingly or otherwise) in causing massive hurt . How are potential meets to know the difference? Is this person doing something damaging to someone else? Does this person have permission? Is there going to be comeback on me? Will someone be upset and hurt by this? Are this persons circumstances exactly as they are claiming? It's easier to just avoid, particularly for women who have multiple other choices available to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite a few very sad and understandable / relatable stories here. I really feel for people in marriages where circumstances mean that sex is off the cards. The problem is we all know the issues around meeting those who just fancy an extra bit on the side. Getting harassed by jealous wives, getting followed, being involved (unwittingly or otherwise) in causing massive hurt . How are potential meets to know the difference? Is this person doing something damaging to someone else? Does this person have permission? Is there going to be comeback on me? Will someone be upset and hurt by this? Are this persons circumstances exactly as they are claiming? It's easier to just avoid, particularly for women who have multiple other choices available to them. "

You really don't like married men do you

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I wouldn't say that. I'm divorced and will be remarried when I can afford it. I think marriage is a wonderful thing.

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By *ickalotMan
over a year ago

city

I'm going through it now.i know age hormones desire change but I really do miss it.but will work it out.sex is only part of a relationship when everything is going well. But when it's not going well.it become s a whole new ball game

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork

Gonna go back to we humans being basically animals. Our brains are not built for monogamy. It's semi forced ingrained social morals that make it feel we are. You love that person. Then it's only them you have to be with. Jealousy and envy come from our baser instincts. I'll ask..and be honest with yourself. How many have made it obvious that your partner was yours by sidling up to them or Running your hands over them etc ?.. especially early in the relationship when you perceived someone flirting with them. Yet went oh he/she looks yummy or enjoyed the attention when it was you getting it. Just not following through because of your partners feelings.

A vast majority here keep swinging a secret from their real life... Why?

To a degree I think it's the vanilla folk might make you feel shame.

Yet..they themselves feel envy because you're able to swing and enjoy it.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

south side


"Gonna go back to we humans being basically animals. Our brains are not built for monogamy. It's semi forced ingrained social morals that make it feel we are. You love that person. Then it's only them you have to be with. Jealousy and envy come from our baser instincts. I'll ask..and be honest with yourself. How many have made it obvious that your partner was yours by sidling up to them or Running your hands over them etc ?.. especially early in the relationship when you perceived someone flirting with them. Yet went oh he/she looks yummy or enjoyed the attention when it was you getting it. Just not following through because of your partners feelings.

A vast majority here keep swinging a secret from their real life... Why?

To a degree I think it's the vanilla folk might make you feel shame.

Yet..they themselves feel envy because you're able to swing and enjoy it.

"

Read "Sex at Dawn" on the biological reasons humans are not meant to be monogamous. Its a social. construct.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Biology and social constructs evolved along with each other across our history. They are at least as important as each other. As pack animals with a long gestational periods whose young are born helpless and entirely reliant on patents, it is important to have strong social bonds. That's reason oxytocin exists in males as well as females. Monogamy and marriage came out of that. In the modern age its still useful to have 2 parents who are able to work and provide for their children where possible. There is absolutely a place for consenting nonmonogamy for those who can handle it, but only a minority really can in my experience. It's definitely not a biological imperative or a good fit for many individuals and their families.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me."

Men are getting a real bashing here as always.....but everyone is entitled to their opinion as they should be

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me."

Wow...it still baffles me that a lot of men and women don't realise that a healthy relationship needs balance and team work and taking up the slack when the other just can't. Regardless of the dynamic. Other wise it just leads to taking for granted and resentment.

If mine has made the dinner or been in work when I'm off..her hands won't touch an item of laundry or a dish. Though..I do enjoy cooking. So most of the time I do it. .so I end up cleaning them when finished using them as I cook. OCD thing lol. But we have what I call fuck it days. Where both literally do nothing. No phones. No emails..no anything but each other. Movies, cuddles. Let everything pile up for the day. And only food that's good for the soul..pizza,l..fish and chip etc. I understand that's hard to do with kids. But try include or bribe where you can lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

Wow...it still baffles me that a lot of men and women don't realise that a healthy relationship needs balance and team work and taking up the slack when the other just can't. Regardless of the dynamic. Other wise it just leads to taking for granted and resentment.

If mine has made the dinner or been in work when I'm off..her hands won't touch an item of laundry or a dish. Though..I do enjoy cooking. So most of the time I do it. .so I end up cleaning them when finished using them as I cook. OCD thing lol. But we have what I call fuck it days. Where both literally do nothing. No phones. No emails..no anything but each other. Movies, cuddles. Let everything pile up for the day. And only food that's good for the soul..pizza,l..fish and chip etc. I understand that's hard to do with kids. But try include or bribe where you can lol"

Ok, so what do you think of a guy that does the cooking, the cleaning up after he served her food, the hoovering, the laundry, the ironing, the lighting of fires, the taxiing of kids, and basically nearly all the housework, including the shopping?? And keeps down a full time job, just like his wife!!!

And she still has no interest in him or sex??? Either I'm an ugly fucker, which I've been told I'm not or a fucking fool?? Take your pick!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a lot of talk about partners.....apart from the lack of sex it would be nice to have someone who actually tells you that that find you a turn on and likes when you compliment them back. It's not necessarily just looking for another notch on the bedpost. I could like others on here and not say I'm married and string people along.....but my profile states it so nothing hidden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im married and get absolutely no sex , get oral every couple of months (3-4)when she is in the mood. Still love her and it works for her, hence my account on here

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

Wow...it still baffles me that a lot of men and women don't realise that a healthy relationship needs balance and team work and taking up the slack when the other just can't. Regardless of the dynamic. Other wise it just leads to taking for granted and resentment.

If mine has made the dinner or been in work when I'm off..her hands won't touch an item of laundry or a dish. Though..I do enjoy cooking. So most of the time I do it. .so I end up cleaning them when finished using them as I cook. OCD thing lol. But we have what I call fuck it days. Where both literally do nothing. No phones. No emails..no anything but each other. Movies, cuddles. Let everything pile up for the day. And only food that's good for the soul..pizza,l..fish and chip etc. I understand that's hard to do with kids. But try include or bribe where you can lol

Ok, so what do you think of a guy that does the cooking, the cleaning up after he served her food, the hoovering, the laundry, the ironing, the lighting of fires, the taxiing of kids, and basically nearly all the housework, including the shopping?? And keeps down a full time job, just like his wife!!!

And she still has no interest in him or sex??? Either I'm an ugly fucker, which I've been told I'm not or a fucking fool?? Take your pick!!!"

That falls in to taking for granted...like I said. It's men and women. I don't have kids..yet if my gf stayed at home all the time. While I worked and helped now and then..she'd deffo get the side eye if she complained. To me..one sided relationships are toxic in their own way. However.... exceptions are made for depression etc. But even then you have to push the person a little in some ways. But NEVER in the way of ultimatums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

Wow...it still baffles me that a lot of men and women don't realise that a healthy relationship needs balance and team work and taking up the slack when the other just can't. Regardless of the dynamic. Other wise it just leads to taking for granted and resentment.

If mine has made the dinner or been in work when I'm off..her hands won't touch an item of laundry or a dish. Though..I do enjoy cooking. So most of the time I do it. .so I end up cleaning them when finished using them as I cook. OCD thing lol. But we have what I call fuck it days. Where both literally do nothing. No phones. No emails..no anything but each other. Movies, cuddles. Let everything pile up for the day. And only food that's good for the soul..pizza,l..fish and chip etc. I understand that's hard to do with kids. But try include or bribe where you can lol

Ok, so what do you think of a guy that does the cooking, the cleaning up after he served her food, the hoovering, the laundry, the ironing, the lighting of fires, the taxiing of kids, and basically nearly all the housework, including the shopping?? And keeps down a full time job, just like his wife!!!

And she still has no interest in him or sex??? Either I'm an ugly fucker, which I've been told I'm not or a fucking fool?? Take your pick!!!

That falls in to taking for granted...like I said. It's men and women. I don't have kids..yet if my gf stayed at home all the time. While I worked and helped now and then..she'd deffo get the side eye if she complained. To me..one sided relationships are toxic in their own way. However.... exceptions are made for depression etc. But even then you have to push the person a little in some ways. But NEVER in the way of ultimatums. "

Servant is what I call myself!!

But unfortunately not a sex servant!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting.

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

Wow...it still baffles me that a lot of men and women don't realise that a healthy relationship needs balance and team work and taking up the slack when the other just can't. Regardless of the dynamic. Other wise it just leads to taking for granted and resentment.

If mine has made the dinner or been in work when I'm off..her hands won't touch an item of laundry or a dish. Though..I do enjoy cooking. So most of the time I do it. .so I end up cleaning them when finished using them as I cook. OCD thing lol. But we have what I call fuck it days. Where both literally do nothing. No phones. No emails..no anything but each other. Movies, cuddles. Let everything pile up for the day. And only food that's good for the soul..pizza,l..fish and chip etc. I understand that's hard to do with kids. But try include or bribe where you can lol

Ok, so what do you think of a guy that does the cooking, the cleaning up after he served her food, the hoovering, the laundry, the ironing, the lighting of fires, the taxiing of kids, and basically nearly all the housework, including the shopping?? And keeps down a full time job, just like his wife!!!

And she still has no interest in him or sex??? Either I'm an ugly fucker, which I've been told I'm not or a fucking fool?? Take your pick!!!

That falls in to taking for granted...like I said. It's men and women. I don't have kids..yet if my gf stayed at home all the time. While I worked and helped now and then..she'd deffo get the side eye if she complained. To me..one sided relationships are toxic in their own way. However.... exceptions are made for depression etc. But even then you have to push the person a little in some ways. But NEVER in the way of ultimatums.

Servant is what I call myself!!

But unfortunately not a sex servant!! "

Just wondering if she is depressed if possible. have you brought it up? I think I feel in what you say. There is resentment. If so..it's a cancer to a relationship. Which eat away at it. Until there is nothing but bile and hatred left. Gotta treat that shit early. Can't stress enough how important communication is. I do what I call checking in. Where I plainly ask if any issues have popped up. But ya have to leave pride and defensiveness at the door. And take what the person has to say at face value. If it's something that can't be fixed. Ask if it's something they can live with. If not. Both have to really think where the relationship is or needs to be going.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting. "

Being unhappy is absolutely a good reason to split... you deserve happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting.

Being unhappy is absolutely a good reason to split... you deserve happiness."

Fed up and unhappy are two totally different things. I get fed up with herself sometimes as she does with me......that's life you will disappoint and irritate each other and you move on from it. If your unhappy then there is a bigger problem than just being fed up

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting. "

Well..to start..you have to really consider in you heart if you want to end it. If it's yes. Then you know what you have to do. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. Only outside factors effect it. So it's up to you whether those factors are worth the effect on you and your happiness.

However..if you rely on others for your happiness. Then the issue may lay in you. And ask why it's the case.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting.

Being unhappy is absolutely a good reason to split... you deserve happiness.

Fed up and unhappy are two totally different things. I get fed up with herself sometimes as she does with me......that's life you will disappoint and irritate each other and you move on from it. If your unhappy then there is a bigger problem than just being fed up "

Great! If you're happy with your relationship then you're lucky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting.

Well..to start..you have to really consider in you heart if you want to end it. If it's yes. Then you know what you have to do. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. Only outside factors effect it. So it's up to you whether those factors are worth the effect on you and your happiness.

However..if you rely on others for your happiness. Then the issue may lay in you. And ask why it's the case.

"

To be honest I just couldn’t do it to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/22 12:31:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Great! If you're happy with your relationship then you're lucky!"

Luck had nothing to do it.... everything in life needs work to maintain it......just gotta put the work in

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"

Great! If you're happy with your relationship then you're lucky!

Luck had nothing to do it.... everything in life needs work to maintain it......just gotta put the work in"

I'd suggest many put the work in and still can't make relationships work, and that there is an element of luck, same goes for sickness or accidents / mental illness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Great! If you're happy with your relationship then you're lucky!

Luck had nothing to do it.... everything in life needs work to maintain it......just gotta put the work in

I'd suggest many put the work in and still can't make relationships work, and that there is an element of luck, same goes for sickness or accidents / mental illness."

Gotta disagree there.... accidents are luck, winning the lotto is luck.......mental illness isn't a matter of luck, if two people can't work something out isn't a matter of luck.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Fair enough. Personally I feel lucky to be happy in my relationship. I wouldnt take personal credit for 100% of that happiness.

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting.

Well..to start..you have to really consider in you heart if you want to end it. If it's yes. Then you know what you have to do. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. Only outside factors effect it. So it's up to you whether those factors are worth the effect on you and your happiness.

However..if you rely on others for your happiness. Then the issue may lay in you. And ask why it's the case.

To be honest I just couldn’t do it to her."

Dan, pal. That tells me there is still something there. Yes the relationship may have become a little stale. May I ask your thoughts of bringing her to fab? If positive response from you both Delete your old account n make a new couples one. Let her take it at her own pace. But you both really have to know in your heart if you happy with sharing and exploring. Only going to the depths where both are happy. Or..maybe without realising you have both stopped doing the little things. Or..introduce new little things. For example.. recently myself and ms wolf have started falling asleep with our lips touching. Her bottom lip resting in-between mime. Soo fucking intimate. Also as a rule. No matter how angry one is with another or fed up. Affection NEVER denied. What ever is in range of our hands gets rubbed. Feet..legs..back..head etc whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about now and again sex in a relationship? How little is unhealthy??

I don't think there is one rule for everyone. Different people have different sex drives and can tolerate different sexless periods.

Yes, different people have different sex drive. We think physical intimacy is very important in a relationship, the volume of sex would come second!

"

Agreed, cuddles and other forms of non-sexual physical connection are essential to maintaining a relationship when sex drives differ. A person can feel very lost, lonely and unwanted without caring touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting read ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed, cuddles and other forms of non-sexual physical connection are essential to maintaining a relationship when sex drives differ. A person can feel very lost, lonely and unwanted without caring touch."

That is the most accurate statement made here....

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By *igglebutt and FoamyCouple
over a year ago

Kildare, Cork


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me."

I find it intresting that the blame for relationships failing is often placed on men for not helping out with the household chores, which i honestly believe should absolutely be shared. But i have never heard it said that women are expected to mow a lawn, service their own car, or do the tasks that traditionally would have been expected to be done by the "man" of the house. I do of course recognise many women are capable of doing these things but i never hear it brought up in the narritive of why relationships arnt working.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Men and women are equally capable of taking the piss when it comes to doing their equal share of the work.

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

I find it intresting that the blame for relationships failing is often placed on men for not helping out with the household chores, which i honestly believe should absolutely be shared. But i have never heard it said that women are expected to mow a lawn, service their own car, or do the tasks that traditionally would have been expected to be done by the "man" of the house. I do of course recognise many women are capable of doing these things but i never hear it brought up in the narritive of why relationships arnt working."

It's not just that...I've had GFs that ended up being short term GFs. All progressive but only when in their favour. I consider myself as an egalitarian. It's fine to have a dynamic in a relationship. But there MUST be balance. Without it, resentment sets in over time. Which effects everything across the board.

Another is who should pay on first meet..blah blah both should....but ladies..come on. We are judged on it if we don't. It's our pleasure to. Or at the least I'm speaking for myself. Yes I know there are idiots who feel they are owed something because they paid. Those fuckers should crawl back in to the cave they came from. . However. My own personal opinion is the person who offered the invite should pay.

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By *hris 1000200Man
over a year ago

kells


"Agreed, cuddles and other forms of non-sexual physical connection are essential to maintaining a relationship when sex drives differ. A person can feel very lost, lonely and unwanted without caring touch.

That is the most accurate statement made here...."

I second this

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By *ultry ZaraCouple
over a year ago

dublin


"Was In a,sexless relationship for 4 years in one way it was my fault,she mentally and verbally broke me down to nothing so to touch her was never going to happen again, so if someone loses their want for sex naturally is one thing, but to be with a person you fear and hate that a different world to live in..."

So sorry to hear that

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By *ultry ZaraCouple
over a year ago

dublin


"Is just simply “ fed up “ with long term relationship enough to end it? I know what she is going to say before she says it, many stupid things cause silly arguments. Are we supposed to sit down every few days and discuss our feelings?? Christ, many days I just want to be on my own. But is that worth the pain, angst, disappointment, loss of home, disappointed from off spring, relatives, financial loss, guilt, and I’m not even having an affair.

I just can’t see a solution. The mood swings kill me, not mine!

Excuse me, I’m just venting. "

My motto in Life is if your not Happy Change it !! You cant always please everyone else. What about your happiness. Ive seen my own Mam on her death bed with regrets from my Step Dad, that always sticks in my mind. How she just settled for less than she deserved. No home , kids ,finances would ever stop me leaving an unhappy marraige. Lifes wayyy too short & I dont want to ever settle. Treat me like a Queen & il treat him like a king.

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By *ultry ZaraCouple
over a year ago

dublin


"Does it work?

No... "

Excellent Discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in a 6year relationship that overtime became a dead bedroom relationship, we have a daughter, I tried over and over to mediate the problems that were there, nothing came from her part, and when I saw that there was nothing else that I could do, I left, best decision I could take for me and for our child, I rather prefer for my child to see us both separate and happy then to see us together and miserable

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By *ultry ZaraCouple
over a year ago

dublin

For some guess they just accept & settle!! My Mam did for years & she was wayyyy too young. Couldnt go on holidays or he moan , or go out , eventually they sleeped seperatley in a friendship marraige I guess. In my eyes she gave up all her freedom / enjoying life , for what to have regrets .

Dont think I could settle for a non intamite marraige. Intamcy is paramount to sustaining a healthy loving relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For some guess they just accept & settle!! My Mam did for years & she was wayyyy too young. Couldnt go on holidays or he moan , or go out , eventually they sleeped seperatley in a friendship marraige I guess. In my eyes she gave up all her freedom / enjoying life , for what to have regrets .

Dont think I could settle for a non intamite marraige. Intamcy is paramount to sustaining a healthy loving relationship.

"

I completely agree, in my opinion you can't have a healthy relationship without intimacy and desire for eachother

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By *ultry ZaraCouple
over a year ago

dublin

Jeez the amount of men on here in sexless marraiges. And I can understand.

Maybe Menapouse has a lot to answer for. And communication & respect breaking down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jeez the amount of men on here in sexless marraiges. And I can understand.

Maybe Menapouse has a lot to answer for. And communication & respect breaking down."

Communication helps in some cases, not all the time, and if you go on Reddit r/deadbedroom you'd be surprised how many women and men are in the same situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't work for me, last relationship was almost sex free, we went out for nearly 3 years, I could count on both hands how many times we had sex, she just wasn't into sex, gave an amazing blowjob though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sex life is very hot and cold and it really affects the relationship. Had sex last night, not a brag, especially on this site, lol, but it was super. The difference it makes in the mood the next day is tangible. Oddly I wasn’t really interested but no wasn’t acceptable. So glad I did, she clearly needed it also. I suppose we all go through different phases of needs and at different times and not always the same time. My point is that sex is very important full stop! I didn’t mind who I was pounding from behind last night, it wasn’t love but mad sex. It’s not even making love, just raw mixing of sensations and fluids. I feel quite poetic today!!

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By *ercc63Man
over a year ago

Hillsborough

The sex in my marriage dwindled - wife no longer interested sleeping in seperate bedrooms

No intimacy - spoilt the relationship completely

Now living apart regretting so many lost years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree kids have a lot to answer for however if there is enough respect and love there both parties will always make an effort. Making memories and intimate moments.

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By *outh_of_EdenMan
over a year ago

visiting

One of the best discussions on here in a long time. I guess it shows how many pepole are here because of unhappy relationships.

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By *londy84Man
over a year ago

Carrickmacross

Really good relationship with someone and you always find time for fun.

No matter what or who is around.

Making love with each other is the strongest bond.

And if you can't keep the spark going.

Just go separate ways and find happiness somewhere else.

That is my opinion and experience.

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By *laymates30Couple
over a year ago

The West

Great discussion, it’s very easy to judge relationships from the outside. A sexless relationship can work for some people as long as they are both happy with that. Some are OK with their partner having sex outside the relationship, but it’s definitely the minority. It’s normal to go through phases of being uninterested in sex, for a variety of different reasons, the main thing is to keep the physical contact, touch and sensuality is so important.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south


"Great discussion, it’s very easy to judge relationships from the outside. A sexless relationship can work for some people as long as they are both happy with that. Some are OK with their partner having sex outside the relationship, but it’s definitely the minority. It’s normal to go through phases of being uninterested in sex, for a variety of different reasons, the main thing is to keep the physical contact, touch and sensuality is so important."
Until the dilemma hits we think we have all the answers , No matter how much you love someone it’s still a two way street and getting them to explain there feeling is very difficult and we feel pushed away and we don’t have the answers love !!! V lust

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Great discussion, it’s very easy to judge relationships from the outside. A sexless relationship can work for some people as long as they are both happy with that. Some are OK with their partner having sex outside the relationship, but it’s definitely the minority. It’s normal to go through phases of being uninterested in sex, for a variety of different reasons, the main thing is to keep the physical contact, touch and sensuality is so important.Until the dilemma hits we think we have all the answers , No matter how much you love someone it’s still a two way street and getting them to explain there feeling is very difficult and we feel pushed away and we don’t have the answers love !!! V lust "

This is where couples counselling can be really useful. A safe space that's facilitated by an expert who can coax out the issues.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

south side

Ive had some experience of couples counselling as a client. I've found that most Irish therapists are quite conservative, in that they are regulated , trained by, and members of professional associations which by their nature are conservative. There is limited sex training(a few hours) during the three year training course, and touch therapy of any sort is prohibited. Contrast this with couple therapists from central and eastern europe, where the majority , including those from Govt organisations, are trained in neo Tantra bodywork, or Sexological Bodywork, and talk therapy, and use these skills with clients. My experience is that the talk therapists I've met in ireland are unprepared to deal with fetish, kink, swinging, polyamoury, etc.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

We have covered swinging, BDSM, and polyamoury with an Irish counsellor. They wouldn't have been experts, but the were non judgemental and interested.

Couples and sex therapy is a growing area, can be done online via zoom, and all sexual and relationship issues can be covered.

A lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship, and dealing with infidelity would be an everyday unsurprising thing for them.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

I have good friends who are separating as they are no longer in love . Kids are going through hell .

I have a friend whose daughter was recently admitted psychiatrically following a difficult separation.

In some cases , the couple might tolerate a lack of love or intimacy . Become friends and nothing else.

In some cases , a separation is best .

In some cases , a separation is catastrophic . And if one partner is unhappy infidelity providing its done without rubbing anyone’s face in it and you show up for your responsibilities is the best option .

Each case is unique. We cannot impose our own hypothetical ethical frameworks on people’s actual everyday lives. It might be unpleasant for someone to not know they’re being cheated on. However if counseling is not accepted by both parties , one party is frustrated and angry , and the kids need both parents in the home and not arguing , then the alternatives might be as unpleasant . Withholding sex might not seem as ‘bad’ as infidelity but it leads to it and its perpetrators are rarely held to account morally and ethically like cheaters are .

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By *appyman2023Man
over a year ago

Cork

[Removed by poster at 14/05/22 07:50:29]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Of course there are a spectrum of different people dealing with physically-dead marriages in different ways...

BUT... Not having sex with your partner isn't a moral or an ethical issue. It's ok to not want sex. It's not even in the same ballpark as being disloyal to your life-partner. Let's not pretend you can conflate the two.

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By *appyman2023Man
over a year ago

Cork

It is everyone’s prerogative to chose who they meet or otherwise. I get that most women don’t want to meet someone who is married as that can potentially bring a lot of drama with it.

I’m separated and was in a sexless marriage, I would say that was one of the problems with the relationship but I would also say that the lack of sex was as a result of other issues. I can say I’m separated and I’m happy.

I have children like some of the other contributors and they are the main reason for my lack of activity even now when they are older. But that wont be forever. It’s the price of being a parent. And they will always come first.

I don’t judge and if someone chooses to have sex outside of their marriage that’s their business but I also feel using the kids as an excuse to stay In an unhealthy relationship is a cop out. I don’t think I’m unique where both parents have a proper relationship with their children after separation.

And to answer the initial question I think for a successful relationship to exist there are a lot of different things required. And a sexual relationship is one of those.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Jeez the amount of men on here in sexless marraiges. And I can understand.

Maybe Menapouse has a lot to answer for. And communication & respect breaking down."

Theres probaly similar amount of women on here proportionatley the difference is they are more accepted for their indecretions there for dont advertise they are married/in a relationship

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By *208numeWoman
over a year ago

Navan


"Its a shame so many married women who are in sexless or sexually unfulfilling marriages on here cannot see what they have in common with married men in the same position. A majority of profiles of women in this situation say "no married men dont want the hassle" or "single guys only" i know its a personal preference but it seems men in this situation have a much harder time meeting anyone"

The reason I don’t wish to meet a married/attached man is because the infidelity and rejection I experienced from my ex broke my heart and I wouldn’t like to potentially be a part of a situation that can be deeply hurtful to others. I just wanted to give my perspective.

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over


"Of course there are a spectrum of different people dealing with physically-dead marriages in different ways...

BUT... Not having sex with your partner isn't a moral or an ethical issue. It's ok to not want sex. It's not even in the same ballpark as being disloyal to your life-partner. Let's not pretend you can conflate the two."

It’s the refusal to deal with it , address it , or talk about it that is. I would absolutely never expect anyone to go through the motions. However refusing to discuss it and expecting the other person to just accept it is societally much less of a topic of conversation than infidelity despite its grave consequences .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course there are a spectrum of different people dealing with physically-dead marriages in different ways...

BUT... Not having sex with your partner isn't a moral or an ethical issue. It's ok to not want sex. It's not even in the same ballpark as being disloyal to your life-partner. Let's not pretend you can conflate the two.

It’s the refusal to deal with it , address it , or talk about it that is. I would absolutely never expect anyone to go through the motions. However refusing to discuss it and expecting the other person to just accept it is societally much less of a topic of conversation than infidelity despite its grave consequences . "

Indeed - both could be seen as forms of relationship powerplay, or relationship abuse or emotional neglect.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Of course there are a spectrum of different people dealing with physically-dead marriages in different ways...

BUT... Not having sex with your partner isn't a moral or an ethical issue. It's ok to not want sex. It's not even in the same ballpark as being disloyal to your life-partner. Let's not pretend you can conflate the two.

It’s the refusal to deal with it , address it , or talk about it that is. I would absolutely never expect anyone to go through the motions. However refusing to discuss it and expecting the other person to just accept it is societally much less of a topic of conversation than infidelity despite its grave consequences . "

Not wanting to talk about something isn't the same ball park as cheating on them. I guess the key is figuring out WHY they don't want to even talk about it. Is there a medical issue, past trauma, something they are embarrassed to talk about, or is it that they just don't care about their partners needs. That would seem to be the first issue to work on. I know if I thought they were just disregarding my needs as unimportant then I would be leaving... that's not something that someone does if there is real love there.

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By *ukeM8519Man
over a year ago

Leitrim

Lots of people just get married to whatever comes along and can have kids with them to fufil their personal want, once the kids are born they loose all interest in the partner because they’ve delivered the goods. Applies to both male and female

It’s even more evident in today’s society where people are getting married older at 39/40. Males or females who jump on the last marriage bus. One minute they are single all their life and then when they feel the clock is ticking they’ve found a partner, married and baby in about 2 years. It’s all a bit commercial.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 14/05/22 14:56:27]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Lots of people just get married to whatever comes along and can have kids with them to fufil their personal want, once the kids are born they loose all interest in the partner because they’ve delivered the goods. Applies to both male and female

It’s even more evident in today’s society where people are getting married older at 39/40. Males or females who jump on the last marriage bus. One minute they are single all their life and then when they feel the clock is ticking they’ve found a partner, married and baby in about 2 years. It’s all a bit commercial. "

For some women there is a VERY strong urge to become a mother, and time is limited with people getting married older. Fertility drops sharply after 35. That probably drives the inappropriate matches, when a baby is the REAL aim. It sucks for the fathers.

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By *ukeM8519Man
over a year ago

Leitrim


"Lots of people just get married to whatever comes along and can have kids with them to fufil their personal want, once the kids are born they loose all interest in the partner because they’ve delivered the goods. Applies to both male and female

It’s even more evident in today’s society where people are getting married older at 39/40. Males or females who jump on the last marriage bus. One minute they are single all their life and then when they feel the clock is ticking they’ve found a partner, married and baby in about 2 years. It’s all a bit commercial.

For some women there is a VERY strong urge to become a mother, and time is limited with people getting married older. Fertility drops sharply after 35. That probably drives the inappropriate matches, when a baby is the REAL aim. It sucks for the fathers."

It can be sad for sure. A lot of pressure on the woman obviously because she is the one who has the baby and the clock is limited for her. I see lots of examples as I’m in that age group myself. Knew a girl who had a baby at 39 with a guy after years of failed short term relationships and she magically became pregnant at 39, relationship only lasted less than a year after the baby was born. Bit coincidental If you ask me. But at the same time I think it takes two to tango and both adults so they were responsible for their own actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely doesn’t work, hence, I am here lol

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south


"Absolutely doesn’t work, hence, I am here lol "
The lady that introduced me to swinging and the 3 some fun Etc , Then became Jealous possessive and said I was cheating on her , So it’s all the way the individual looks at it , And I could see her point too

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"Lots of men posting atm. As a former wife, I was so stressed out with a demanding job, young children and a husband who did nothing to help. Eventually I did not want sex with him, it was literally like having a big child in the house. He bored me, I resented doing all the household chores and all the responsibilities placed on me by him.

Living with someone is not for me, most men of my age want to be looked after. Manogonmy like that is not for me.

I find it intresting that the blame for relationships failing is often placed on men for not helping out with the household chores, which i honestly believe should absolutely be shared. But i have never heard it said that women are expected to mow a lawn, service their own car, or do the tasks that traditionally would have been expected to be done by the "man" of the house. I do of course recognise many women are capable of doing these things but i never hear it brought up in the narritive of why relationships arnt working."

He didn't do those things either

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