FabSwingers.com forum: When you stop

By *aughty9ie OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

This principle of consent has now become such an important issue in hookup scanarios that it is going to be on the curriculum in the UK.

In universities there are posters everywhere, even in toilets, to the effect that consent is required on every occasion, "even if we hooked up before."

There is a phenomenal number of non-consensual sexual acts in society, most of which will go unreported, and therefore never investigated.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Any decent person would understand that already and would not need it explained to them.

Unfortuntely the ones who don't understand consent don't give a damn and won't pay any heed to what anyone else says anyhow. They will always have an excuse why it wasn't their fault anyhow .

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

This is the source for this I think.

https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

"This principle of consent has now become such an important issue..."

Was there ever a time when it wasn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be named and shamed!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In other words: don’t force a cup of tea on someone when they have clearly said they don’t want one.

How is this not common sense? Seems pretty clear to me.

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By *ollypop9Woman
over a year ago

wouldn't you like to know

Or like in my case when I was in my teens :

Even if someone decides to agree to have tea.

If that person then last minute changes their mind and rather not have tea, although the cups are out and the kettle is boiled, they still don't want tea and you don't make them any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it"

Please don’t say it was forced on them! I know going to Garda is not necessarily the answer. If that’s the case that’s horrible. If I sensed that another was not into it I couldn’t even keep hard.

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is made to drink tea that doesn’t want it then the mug should be smashed into a thousand pieces on the mugs teapot…. There’s some fuckers out there

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?"

BECAUSE SHE/HE CHANGED THEIR MIND

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?"

Jesus wept where's the eye roll emoji here

Talk about victim blaming a guy or a girl can change their mind and say no at any point. They can be kissing or the condom is just about to go on but if one person says no then all bets are off.

It's a real concern to me how many people dont understand the word No. I see it in messages all the time where I say no thanks then I get persistent messages trying to change my mind. No means No not maybe I'll convince you otherwise

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Ennis

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

Jesus wept where's the eye roll emoji here

Talk about victim blaming a guy or a girl can change their mind and say no at any point. They can be kissing or the condom is just about to go on but if one person says no then all bets are off.

Being married guy I got used it....as a being refused...which I do understand and respect.

The only thing I do not get is, as you say..guys don't get it. If they have been refused. Just move on and cope with that. Simples.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"After hearing a very upsetting story from a close friend on here I'm going to explain the cup of theory for some men who don't seem to fucking get it.

TEA = SEX in this example

1. Don't make tea for someone who does not want tea

2. If somebody is asleep they don't want tea

3. If you made tea for someone and after a few sips they don't like the tea they don't have to finish it.

4. Dont make anyone drink tea if they don't want to

The only acceptable way to have tea with someone is if they want the tea and are happy to finish the tea with you.

Im in a fucking rage at the moment and im shock that people still dont get it

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

Jesus wept where's the eye roll emoji here

Talk about victim blaming a guy or a girl can change their mind and say no at any point. They can be kissing or the condom is just about to go on but if one person says no then all bets are off.

Being married guy I got used it....as a being refused...which I do understand and respect.

The only thing I do not get is, as you say..guys don't get it. If they have been refused. Just move on and cope with that. Simples."

It's not just guys who don't understand the principle of consent or the word no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://spunout.ie/sex-relationships/relationships/what-is-consent

This is a very clear and simple guide to consent. It's something that should be discussed more in this community especially. Both women and men here have being put into positions they are not comfortable with whether it be by saying no by message or in person or meeting them at parties or solo meets etc. Our kids are taught consent from a young age and that No means No and their body their choice but as we grow up some people forget this.

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?"

I very much hope this is a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & if so, consent is not really something to make light of.

If however, it is NOT a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & this is your actual opinion, then aren't we all lucky to have seen your true colours.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

I very much hope this is a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & if so, consent is not really something to make light of.

If however, it is NOT a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & this is your actual opinion, then aren't we all lucky to have seen your true colours. "

I THINK Dons comment has been misread, I THINK he ment you shouldn't have your cock out in the 1st place if she isn't into it.

I THINK

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By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

I very much hope this is a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & if so, consent is not really something to make light of.

If however, it is NOT a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & this is your actual opinion, then aren't we all lucky to have seen your true colours.

I THINK Dons comment has been misread, I THINK he ment you shouldn't have your cock out in the 1st place if she isn't into it.

I THINK

I was wondering the same however, once the dick is out, a person can still change their mind also so felt it irrelevant

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

Eh, if she wasn't into it why would your dick even be out?

I very much hope this is a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & if so, consent is not really something to make light of.

If however, it is NOT a shit poor attempt at humour/sarcasm & this is your actual opinion, then aren't we all lucky to have seen your true colours.

I THINK Dons comment has been misread, I THINK he ment you shouldn't have your cock out in the 1st place if she isn't into it.

I THINK

I was wondering the same however, once the dick is out, a person can still change their mind also so felt it irrelevant "

I agree

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By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

FFS! Offer them coffee at least

Consent is a minimum requirement regardless of situation. Conversation and agreement in advance, with a safeword preferably, along with understanding that consent/desire can change at any point, should always be understood and respected

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By *rezMan
over a year ago

Ennis

"FFS! Offer them coffee at least

Totally agree on that. In a real life scenario, you wouldn't go in a bar to girl with your shlong hanging out and expect her to obey your hardness,

To me it is all about mind, connection first.

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By *oulernerMan
over a year ago

Dublin City

My first real girlfriend in my teenage years had some scalding tea spilled all over before we even met. Understandably I was very careful of never offering her tea and to this day I'm always very reluctant to, unless someone really really wants tea from me.

Because of what happened to her, tea drinking got ruined for me for a very long time as it never felt right to offer or even mention tea, because of the thing that happened to her back then.

To this day I'm still quite cautious about serving tea to most people. It's such a shame as good tea is one of the best things out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could name and shame alright. Cut the balls off them would be better

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