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Women on Fab will never understand …

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How lovely it is to be a man on Fab

Or any dating app for that matter

This thought came about after reading the post

‘Is Fab toxic’

It’s not toxic, in my opinion but how women and men experience the site is not comparable in any sense whatsoever.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

100% completely different experiences here for most men vs most women

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

"

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I thought you were gonna say man flu

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples."

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets "

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is a very different experience for women. Case in point, a man creating a thread here following the recent Sligo murders asking if people now worried about the danger of meeting strangers....

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets)."

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK OK I'm here.... you got me

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 20/04/22 19:54:31]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus "

There is obviously nothing wrong with having standards, and choosing meets casefully, we are much the same. However hard you (or me) have it to find a meet that's suitable, it is orders of magnitude harder for the men due to sheer weight of numbers. There is simply a much bigger pool of possibilities for you than there is for single men.

I've been a single man here, and it's WAY harder than it is as a couple.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus

There is obviously nothing wrong with having standards, and choosing meets casefully, we are much the same. However hard you (or me) have it to find a meet that's suitable, it is orders of magnitude harder for the men due to sheer weight of numbers. There is simply a much bigger pool of possibilities for you than there is for single men.

I've been a single man here, and it's WAY harder than it is as a couple."

Dirk has been a single man here years before we met too and never had any problems finding people to meet.

Even now on his single profile he has had way more meets without me than I had without him.

Nothing to do with standards wither.

I genuinely hear what you're saying, but 99% of all single men here shoot themselves in a foot then complain that they can't walk.

Missus

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

There are a minority of single male profiles here that are successful. Once upon a time I was one of them. I hear you too that it's the silly missteps that many guys make that makes them bad meet candidates.... but women who make similar mistakes don't have the same issues. They wouldn't become bad meet candidates for single males and would still get plenty of offers.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works

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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago

kildare


"Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works "

this x

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Women here don't really need a formula. Owning a vagina is enough to get offers. It's just a matter of selection.

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork

I came back to site as a single male just as the pandemic hit. Been a decade passed since I had my last account. Only thing that has changed is who is on site. But the women and men dynamic has not. Doubt it ever will unless the ratio starts switching to the national ratio of being more female to male in Ireland now. And it's becoming a trend in the western world. In vanilla life off site women don't need to come here. Just have to put on her glad rags n head out the door. Only her standards dictates success rates. In the wild however she has of a more target rich environment. Ok. There is more risk involved without a doubt. But success rates are much higher.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Women here don't really need a formula. Owning a vagina is enough to get offers. It's just a matter of selection. "

Offers don't equal meets.

I can put up a status right now saying I would like to meet someone tomorrow evening - Ill get about 5-6 messages. 4 of them will say "hi" and have nothing else in profile, photos, nothing to go by personality and compatibility wise.

One of them will say "can you meet next week/month/year".

One of them will always be some variation of "wanna come to mine and suck me off".

If i start replying to all "hi" jobies - guaranteed 3 of them will flake off and one will end up in block list.

Just because women get more mail doesn't mean they get any more quality, safe offers that match what they are looking for from people they're genuinely attracted to (which should be the case in all potential meets).

Obviously if women would respond to every dodgy "wanna fuck" they receive from every blank profile they potentially could be meeting people twice a day every day, but would them meets be genuinely safe and remotely satisfactory ?

Missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works "

Toyally agree you'll see same guys at events and same ones meeting couples and females. They work hard on building their Fab profile and their reputation. They usually fall under the categories of being sane sound not pushy but respectful and a bit of craic. Tbh the fuckwits on here do them a favour by making these few great guys stand out even more.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get."

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place. "

..but you realise that's a different experience than men generally get? Getting zero offers can have an effect on them.

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth


"Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works "

I think that the point the OP is making is that the vast majority don't have any success despite being polite and gentlemanly and everything else that would make them an attractive person.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

..but you realise that's a different experience than men generally get? Getting zero offers can have an effect on them. "

As Rosy said - when men genuinely put in effort, work on building their reputation, present themselves well and prove to be trustworthy - they do start getting offers.

Yes, not everyone, but I've yet to see a fantastic, attractive (not just physically, but also well weitten) profile with zero verifications.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

..but you realise that's a different experience than men generally get? Getting zero offers can have an effect on them.

As Rosy said - when men genuinely put in effort, work on building their reputation, present themselves well and prove to be trustworthy - they do start getting offers.

Yes, not everyone, but I've yet to see a fantastic, attractive (not just physically, but also well weitten) profile with zero verifications. "

I agree they probably would get offers. Those who know how to approach in the right way, and look like a good fit, and are reasonably attractive, and communicate well will probably have success that will eventually end in an offer. Its IS a different experience though.

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
over a year ago

Cork

I don't have any couple or single F experience. But as a single M, I think it's as simple as there are good people on here who will put in the work or just in general have nice attributes, and bad people in here which makes it harder to approach the right people.

The only difference between the genders is the ratios of good to bad. Yes, single women get plenty of offers as said above, but mainly by men who only want to fuck something. Yes, men have to put in a lot of effort just to get a reply but honestly, a lot of women on here are worth a lot more.

We should sympathize for for the good profiles that have to put up with the vitriol.

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By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place. "

That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act. "

Agree ... and yet so many just don't get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is shit

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act. "

I don't think that's true. I think that the ones who are overtly that way make a lot of women judge guys out of hand without even asking a question. There are many decent guys on here who would make great FWB, FB, you name it but, they cannot get their foot in the door just to prove their worth. I'm very clear in my profile (for example)that I'm not like that but I, like a huge number of decent guys, get ignored by the majority of women I have the cheek to say hello to. That's their loss though and after two messaged I block them. Those who do talk to me and take the time to actually communicate, find out what kind of person I am and generally continue to stay in touch.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works

I think that the point the OP is making is that the vast majority don't have any success despite being polite and gentlemanly and everything else that would make them an attractive person."

And so many men don't seem to realise that there is a fine line between being polite and gentlemanly and being a sychophant which repels many but not all women as much as some other toxic behaviour.

There is also a myth perpetuated by some that being a great fabber equates to being a great person.

I prefer to be the latter first and foremost and everything else follows as a result.

People described in the recent past as "potential documentary material" based on their level of creepiness in group chats are now in fab relationships with the person using that term so hang in there guys, there's hope for you yet.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The following quotation has been attributed to many eminently successful people, such as President Jefferson, Sam Colwyn and golfer Gary Player, but it is summed up as follows:

The harder I work, the luckier I appear to get.

Working hard nowadays means working smart(er).

Women on this site are inundated with low quality messages, that are often inappropriately abusive.

Men of quality understand what success in this game requires and work quietly and discreetly to this end

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus "

Maybe one of the problems you're having is you say in your profile that the guy has to live locally, not just a visitor. That would limit your choices (which you can do of course if you choose).

You mention 6 months, I'm 10 months searching for a 1 on 1 that's not at a party.

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get."

I put up status updates all the time about being free or seeking etc... I have never got any leads or mails at all.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus

Maybe one of the problems you're having is you say in your profile that the guy has to live locally, not just a visitor. That would limit your choices (which you can do of course if you choose).

You mention 6 months, I'm 10 months searching for a 1 on 1 that's not at a party."

In my experience with travelling come expectations and after a few very unfortunate events I refuse to being pressured into anything as well as "come on, I've travelled this far for you" type of guilt tripping.

6 months is only a rough figure.

I haven't had a single 1 on 1 meet since December 2019.

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork


"Agree with the above comments. Some single guys get on very well, not because they have great bodies/are the right age/have hair etc etc but they have worked at it, had patience, have a good personality and have figured out what formula works "

Agree with this

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork

Personally have chatted to loads of singles and couples on here....have had some .....not many mind you meets with both.

I dont leave or ask for verifications. I dont do the party or group meet n greets. Thats my own personal choice and it wont change but unfortunaty it makes it so much harder.cant understand verifications.....they seem so generic at this stage and i kike to keep my privste life just that....private.

However....that said....my exoerience is that most sane people here repond positively to manners respect and courtesy when communicating.

The old ways never stopped working folks.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus

Maybe one of the problems you're having is you say in your profile that the guy has to live locally, not just a visitor. That would limit your choices (which you can do of course if you choose).

You mention 6 months, I'm 10 months searching for a 1 on 1 that's not at a party.

In my experience with travelling come expectations and after a few very unfortunate events I refuse to being pressured into anything as well as "come on, I've travelled this far for you" type of guilt tripping.

6 months is only a rough figure.

I haven't had a single 1 on 1 meet since December 2019.

"

We feel the same about travelling. When people beg and insist that they don't mind a long distance drive to us, we always say that they would need to be prepared to do the distance at least twice because there will be at least 1 social meet with no funny business at all. They usually disappear after this. I would agree that there might be a perceived level of expectation given the effort they have been through, so that needs dealing with up front.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Expectations with travel can work the other way too.

I've driven 3 hours for a social and the woman I was meeting had her own expectations. She felt I had driven all that way so what was stopping me from doing it again?

I left the site rather than deal with the drama she created over my unwillingness to "make the effort".

Hence why my max travel time is now an hour and if someone lives outside that radius they can meet me half way.

It's a deal breaker.

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork


" That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act. "

I (Mr.) find this is a common blanket perception of women. We might be in the minority but Mrs. prefers no connection.. she wants to be used by strangers (vetted by me). She'd rather fuck than chat- we've had one social meet beforehand out of a dozen meets.

And yet.. finding lads who (seriously) want that is difficult. They all say they do but then don't show up

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Expectations with travel can work the other way too.

I've driven 3 hours for a social and the woman I was meeting had her own expectations. She felt I had driven all that way so what was stopping me from doing it again?

I left the site rather than deal with the drama she created over my unwillingness to "make the effort".

Hence why my max travel time is now an hour and if someone lives outside that radius they can meet me half way.

It's a deal breaker. "

Oh yes! Also that.

If someone is looking for repeat meets and not a one off - I don't see how travelling long distance

can be convenient for anyone.

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork


" That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act.

I (Mr.) find this is a common blanket perception of women. We might be in the minority but Mrs. prefers no connection.. she wants to be used by strangers (vetted by me). She'd rather fuck than chat- we've had one social meet beforehand out of a dozen meets.

And yet.. finding lads who (seriously) want that is difficult. They all say they do but then don't show up "

This is quite rare......have had a meet like this last year. Approach can be refreshing if thats all thats wanted.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"How many offers do you think your average male profile would get from putting up a status update. I'd guess probably none. There is a difference. I realise you'd probably get a load of half arsed shitty offers, but its a different experience to what men get.

To be honest I'd rather not get any offers at all than a bunch of shite that makes me feel like I'm just some set of holes who's here to service random Sunday horn, not worth a social interaction and god forbid seen with in a public place.

That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act. "

I don't necessarily agree with all of this because of previous fab experience.

One woman had 2 or 3 regular guys that she met every month and wanted me to be number 4 despite living on the opposite side of the country.

Her criteria included me being exclusive to her.

She would still be meeting the other guys though.

I told her I had no interest in that arrangement for many reasons including the distance and the hypocrisy.

She should see nothing wrong in what she was suggesting which is fine and well if the guys are agreeable but when I said I wasn't she claimed that men on fab don't have options and should be grateful for any arrangement.

She attempted to blacken my name with others who knew me but didn't get the reaction she was expecting as they all told her to give her head a wobble.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"Good job that men and women meet each other and share their experiences with each other to better understand each others point of view.

That's true for the men who are lucky enough to be able to meet. The sheer weight of numbers means it's a much harder thing to achieve for the men. It's a very different experience for the women and the couples.

Those who can't meet for any reason can always read through forums..

Oh wait, it's usually those who can't/choose not to read anything are the ones who don't get any meets

Men on here do of course make all kinds of mistakes likes not reading profiles or interacting in the forums... but that doesn't change the fact its very different for the men here than the women (who can mostly act nearly any way they like and still get meets).

I genuinely don't know what meets all these women are constantly getting because try as I might I can't seem to get a single meet (me looking for a single guy on my single profile to meet alone for over 6 months now).

And I'm not even behaving in any crazy way, all I ask for is for someone not be a creep and not expect sex on a first meet.

Missus

Maybe one of the problems you're having is you say in your profile that the guy has to live locally, not just a visitor. That would limit your choices (which you can do of course if you choose).

You mention 6 months, I'm 10 months searching for a 1 on 1 that's not at a party.

In my experience with travelling come expectations and after a few very unfortunate events I refuse to being pressured into anything as well as "come on, I've travelled this far for you" type of guilt tripping.

6 months is only a rough figure.

I haven't had a single 1 on 1 meet since December 2019.

"

With all respect Missus you're a good looking, opionionated and interesting woman, but my best guess is that you yourself make it extremely difficult to find potential meets. From my observations it seems like the slightest misstep by an interested party and he's out. It's bit like a computer game where you have only one life and one attempt to find your way through a maze full of snares and your reward at the end is to get to the next level.

We're all humans and we do make mistakes, it needs a bit of generosity and tolerance to allow an acceptable error margin and you might find that there's more gems out there than you thought.

I'm not just sitting on any cock available either, the possible candidates have to tick some boxes too, but I don't find it at all difficult to find a match despite being a total hag/bitch.

To close the circle, yes it is a total different experience for men than it is for women. But I can guarantee you op both experiences have their pros and cons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act.

At the risk of being general

Females are far smarter that the average mail than the average male when it comes to this not just on fab either... ... let you think and believe this...when they want the exact same thing but are too.shy or sub to own it

Someone asking.to be used etc...its a very rare a female will share this info, the ones that do I totally respect for doing so as they own it .

Guys request it in dynamics and can be shamed for it by some females.

It's tricky to navigate as some are so easily offended

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

That is very true DH and I am aware of a lot of it being my own fault.

I am most awkward person when it comes to texting online (ask my own mother, nevermind random horny men I've never met lol) and my own patience or lack of isn't something to brag about.

This is why in order to portray what I'm actually like I really don't mind meeting people for a drink or a coffee after only exchanging only a few messages, if the vibe is right, sky is the limit. I usually get a "this is not a dating site" response to my attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But let's be honest do we need to understand? Isn't everyone's journey on here different, even between women our time on here is different, we all have different needs and wants and we also act and behave different.

When I get talking about my fab journey with friends both male and female everyone is very surprised to hear I dont get many messages and don't get many meets.

But it is what it is.

If I can understand myself ud be happy

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I suspect on reflection that having a lot of choice leads to a narrowing of requirements. Who wouldn't become very selective and picky if they are bombarded with offers. It's a very logical way to deal with the problem.

The guys hate it of course because they are used to male privilege and this place turns everything on its head and instead has female privilege.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I suspect on reflection that having a lot of choice leads to a narrowing of requirements. Who wouldn't become very selective and picky if they are bombarded with offers. It's a very logical way to deal with the problem.

The guys hate it of course because they are used to male privilege and this place turns everything on its head and instead has female privilege.

"

It makes me very uncomfortable when you’re talking sense

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Fleeting moments of clarity *occasionally* linger in my head long enough to get them out semi-coherantly

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"That's the key difference right there!!!. More than a set of holes.most men on here just want to use a pussy to fuck. Ladies need to feel something. Desired. Not just physically. A Connection.. chemistry...just to name a couple from the top of the list. Before they get down to the act.

At the risk of being general

Females are far smarter that the average mail than the average male when it comes to this not just on fab either... ... let you think and believe this...when they want the exact same thing but are too.shy or sub to own it

Someone asking.to be used etc...its a very rare a female will share this info, the ones that do I totally respect for doing so as they own it .

Guys request it in dynamics and can be shamed for it by some females.

It's tricky to navigate as some are so easily offended "

But surely normal rules apply here where desires and boundaries are discussed/agreed in advance?

As a previous Fabber once described themselves .... a fact-checked essay in the streets and comment section in the sheets.

Isn't that what most swinger women here want? This isn't a dating site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Expectations with travel can work the other way too.

I've driven 3 hours for a social and the woman I was meeting had her own expectations. She felt I had driven all that way so what was stopping me from doing it again?

I left the site rather than deal with the drama she created over my unwillingness to "make the effort".

Hence why my max travel time is now an hour and if someone lives outside that radius they can meet me half way.

It's a deal breaker. "

Not very “ Gentlemanly “ of you as you described yourself earlier above

EOOYOI

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down


"Fleeting moments of clarity *occasionally* linger in my head long enough to get them out semi-coherently "

It's a common problem for all of us- male and female busy lives and so many plates to be kept spinning simultaneously.

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By *elfastStudMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Women here don't really need a formula. Owning a vagina is enough to get offers. It's just a matter of selection.

Offers don't equal meets.

I can put up a status right now saying I would like to meet someone tomorrow evening - Ill get about 5-6 messages. 4 of them will say "hi" and have nothing else in profile, photos, nothing to go by personality and compatibility wise.

One of them will say "can you meet next week/month/year".

One of them will always be some variation of "wanna come to mine and suck me off".

If i start replying to all "hi" jobies - guaranteed 3 of them will flake off and one will end up in block list.

Just because women get more mail doesn't mean they get any more quality, safe offers that match what they are looking for from people they're genuinely attracted to (which should be the case in all potential meets).

Obviously if women would respond to every dodgy "wanna fuck" they receive from every blank profile they potentially could be meeting people twice a day every day, but would them meets be genuinely safe and remotely satisfactory ?

Missus "

Extremely well articulated!

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south


"Women here don't really need a formula. Owning a vagina is enough to get offers. It's just a matter of selection.

Offers don't equal meets.

I can put up a status right now saying I would like to meet someone tomorrow evening - Ill get about 5-6 messages. 4 of them will say "hi" and have nothing else in profile, photos, nothing to go by personality and compatibility wise.

One of them will say "can you meet next week/month/year".

One of them will always be some variation of "wanna come to mine and suck me off".

If i start replying to all "hi" jobies - guaranteed 3 of them will flake off and one will end up in block list.

Just because women get more mail doesn't mean they get any more quality, safe offers that match what they are looking for from people they're genuinely attracted to (which should be the case in all potential meets).

Obviously if women would respond to every dodgy "wanna fuck" they receive from every blank profile they potentially could be meeting people twice a day every day, but would them meets be genuinely safe and remotely satisfactory ?

Missus

Extremely well articulated! "
I do some much reading profiles on here I’m thinking of starting a book club , I agree with Mr and Mrs meets are few and far between never mind tea for two , Anyway hands of my carrot cake

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By *oulernerMan
over a year ago

Dublin City

I think at the very least this thread can be enlightening to some. As someone relatively new to both fab and swinging it gives me some good insight, so thanks for everyone that's participating in the discussion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/04/22 16:38:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women have a que on here, Men are in a que on here. That simple.

Oh for the days when I log on to see hundreds of offers of all kinds from all shapes and ages of ladies and make my choice …

Forgot how sexless this is, after a year with a fab friend ….

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