FabSwingers.com forum: What if guys never messaged first?

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

Hello all you wonderful people.

I was just wondering what you all would think would happen if guys couldn't or didn't message first on here? I know the girls get tortured by countless messages (I do try not to message someone twice if they haven't replied). So what if the guys were able to actually curb their desires/lust/whatever you crazy kids call it these days.. What would you think would happen? Would Fab become stale for a lot of people or would the ladies take the front foot?

Genuine question as I'm really tired of sending a first message and not getting a reply. Thinking about just making Fab my little naughty page in the big bad world of the Internet where I can post pics, talk a bit on the Forums and such, and if anyone is interested then they could contact me.....

Annnnnnd Go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

We very rarely receive any messages and most that we receive are usually shite not worth reading, so wouldn't make much difference to be honest.

We've no problem messaging people ourselves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're an ugly elephant man like me

the messages are pointless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact. "

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"If you're an ugly elephant man like me

the messages are pointless"

I feel your pain mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail. "

Oh I still receive lots of messages but most are the equivalent to spam in my Gmail. So I headhunt instead now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"We very rarely receive any messages and most that we receive are usually shite not worth reading, so wouldn't make much difference to be honest.

We've no problem messaging people ourselves

Again I'm actually rather surprised.. All I ever seem to read is that guys are constantly torturing ladies for meets.?hmmmm maybe I should start sending relentless cock pics

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *limfitladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Ohh gets me thinking.. If not a ban on sending emails..

A limit to how many a man can send..

And a limit on how many a female can read Without sending one.

Or maybe a day a month when only females or couples can send

Or maybe participation based cost or penalties.. The more a male sends the more his subscription. The more a female sends the less theirs.

(obviously? I only jest..)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably low effort messages ngl man. You would want to see how low effort some first contacts have been from this site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail.

Oh I still receive lots of messages but most are the equivalent to spam in my Gmail. So I headhunt instead now "

Yeah and that was sort of my initial question.. What if guys never messaged first? As a guy who gets very few (practically none lol) responses to messages it feels like a message sent is treated like spam. I know girls can't possibly respond to each mail they receive but it does get a bit frustrating after a while.

So if guys don't message at all, would the ladies take the initiative and maybe mail people they would normally not paid attention to before?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *limfitladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Probably low effort messages ngl man. You would want to see how low effort some first contacts have been from this site. "

Yes.. Word count and context checkers would also have to imply subscription cost impacts.

But definitely not the block button. ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ddieBauerMan
over a year ago

cork city

Headhunter! Sounds like could be a good username

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I set tight filters so I don't get much mail it could be my profile as well but either way it suits me. I've sent first messages and I have no issue doing so . So if men stopped messaging it wouldn't bother me a bit .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably low effort messages ngl man. You would want to see how low effort some first contacts have been from this site.

Yes.. Word count and context checkers would also have to imply subscription cost impacts.

But definitely not the block button. ?? "

I mean I don't think it would matter. From experience from similar places where they have a women message first policy, the messages would just be the same and boring. Mostly used to initiate the conversation and rely on the guy to come up with the interesting part.

From pretty much all but one message from women here have been the same. As if I'm some steady stream of erotic thougths. I could just be unlucky or out of place here. Its not my lifestyle like it is for others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I set tight filters so I don't get much mail it could be my profile as well but either way it suits me. I've sent first messages and I have no issue doing so . So if men stopped messaging it wouldn't bother me a bit ."

I love when you type out my responses for me Bo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixenforfunWoman
over a year ago

banes mask

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail.

Oh I still receive lots of messages but most are the equivalent to spam in my Gmail. So I headhunt instead now

So if guys don't message at all, would the ladies take the initiative and maybe mail people they would normally not paid attention to before? "

Why would i mail someone i was not interested in initially?? If i have not responded to someone because they arent what im looking im not going to change my mind about it just because they didnt mail

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At this stage it wouldn't bother me, filters are set quite tight so get very few and very few of any substance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could make for a good feature tbh/

Although the site would probably lose money from countless lads arriving and leaving after not getting the satisfaction of messaging, then following up with abuse lol.

You can always change your filter to block men or only allow site members (the latter I find quite good)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork

I find that mainly the single ladies get the mail. To a far lesser extent in second is couples. Mainly guys hoping the female will play alone. Then to barely in any males. My single male account is set and written to turn off the boring and self centered. Which I I'm glad. So those with a sense of adventure, with something in-between the ears and and down to earth will and did respond. A portion of which made first contact....

Though...as a thought exercise .I can only imagine if there was an organized revolt. Where all single males boycotted first contact. With mirrored behaviour of how the ladies react to single males. (I get why ladies. I do). Ladies I feel at first would be glad for the first few days/weeks. After that is where I think it would get interesting to me. Heaven for some, hell for others

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very very rarely send a message unless it's to compliment a reply on the forums , sending messages isn't my game , experience has taught me that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail.

Oh I still receive lots of messages but most are the equivalent to spam in my Gmail. So I headhunt instead now

So if guys don't message at all, would the ladies take the initiative and maybe mail people they would normally not paid attention to before?

Why would i mail someone i was not interested in initially?? If i have not responded to someone because they arent what im looking im not going to change my mind about it just because they didnt mail

I get the impression that a lot of messages, get cast aside due to the amount of mail that a girl receives. As I said before it is just an honest question about would it be for the better if guys didn't message first?

I'm in no way suggesting that anyone should settle just because a bloke has the horny head on. Lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love when you type out my responses for me Bo

As above

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah sure don't know why you men are complaining about sending messages. I get great response when I send my heah hun horny in your area wanna lick my vagina messages..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Nooooo! Please don't stop messaging lads!

Ooops, sorry, you're all blocked

For the record, I have no issues initiating contact, and the same applied for me when I was active on my single woman profile

#someladiesenjoyhunting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s UprisingWoman
over a year ago

dublin

I have my profile set up so that I'm the one who initiates all contact. I have no problem contacting who I think will be for me and if they don't respond that's no problem either.

I had no filters at first, it was a complete headwreck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"I find that mainly the single ladies get the mail. To a far lesser extent in second is couples. Mainly guys hoping the female will play alone. Then to barely in any males. My single male account is set and written to turn off the boring and self centered. Which I I'm glad. So those with a sense of adventure, with something in-between the ears and and down to earth will and did respond. A portion of which made first contact....

That is something that I never considered. If it was to happen and as you say I am sure that the ladies would be glad of a few days peace. But after a week or 2 of no messages would we see the girls starting to look at the profiles they didn't give a second glance before, purely because they are not tortured by the overwhelming amount of mail they currently receive?(I understand that most girls will say they have filters up and don't receive tons of messages, but the reason for the filters is to stop you receiving tons). I know personally its not much fun logging on everyday to "No Mail".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"I have my profile set up so that I'm the one who initiates all contact. I have no problem contacting who I think will be for me and if they don't respond that's no problem either.

I had no filters at first, it was a complete headwreck. "

I'm sure you were tortured especially as a new member. And I agree with how you have your filters set up.

Nobody deserves to be hassled or tortured by anyone on what is supposed to be a fun site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"Ah sure don't know why you men are complaining about sending messages. I get great response when I send my heah hun horny in your area wanna lick my vagina messages.."

that tickled me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

We wouldn't have had our 1st social and probably would've quit the site if a single male hadn't chanced his arm and messaged us

And it was a decent 1st message without the need to send a pic of his cock which seems to be difficult for some

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't really bother us if guys never messaged first. 90% of the guys Dee has met were her reaching out to them not the other way around.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

How about a really novel idea like applying the same rules to all members equally?

You know, where people can message as often as they want without fear of virtue signalling?

Or a quality control commissioner to determine if one word messages sent by men are of a similar standard to the one word messages sent by women and couples?

Ah wait!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact. "

Yea, but you're not looking for men to contact you. All men are blocked from messaging you lol. Of course it wouldn't bother you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

Yea, but you're not looking for men to contact you. All men are blocked from messaging you lol. Of course it wouldn't bother you.

Any men who messaged before I put filters on can still message me though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olves at bayCouple
over a year ago

cork

"How about a really novel idea like applying the same rules to all members equally?

You know, where people can message as often as they want without fear of virtue signalling?

Or a quality control commissioner to determine if one word messages sent by men are of a similar standard to the one word messages sent by women and couples?

Ah wait!!!

Mr wolf here...I've lost count the amount of convos I've ended while chatting to the ladies with these lines..."this is making my back ache"

Response along the lines"how come?"

"From carrying the convo" then told to get over myself or given abuse.

Or others just wondered why I disappeared bit given the reason in a polite manner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah sure don't know why you men are complaining about sending messages. I get great response when I send my heah hun horny in your area wanna lick my vagina messages.."

Ya but you send them , big difference in replying to messages than to sending them .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have my profile set up so that I'm the one who initiates all contact. I have no problem contacting who I think will be for me and if they don't respond that's no problem either.

I had no filters at first, it was a complete headwreck. "

The only way to do it , otherwise it is exactly how you said it...a headwreck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing with messaging is a woman will only message or reply if she's interested and a guy will only message or reply if he's interested , there are those on here who will never match with others , it's just the way it is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohng69Man
over a year ago

athenry

If men weren't able to send initial messages then th we there would be no "I can't get a reply, I only send respectful messages" threads. Where's the fun in that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

I've tight filters so i don't get bogged down in messages so I wouldn't be bothered if men couldn't message first. I've sent the 1st message many a time no issue in doing so..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"Hello all you wonderful people.

Annnnnnd Go.

There seems to be an over-reliance on using messages alone to get attention. Plenty of more effective ways such as what you've decided to do. Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illerQueen1Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

"Wouldn't bother me at all as I send first messages all the time. My last few meets I made first contact.

That has actually surprised me.. Not that you wouldn't take the initiative but that you don't receive loads of mail.

Oh I still receive lots of messages but most are the equivalent to spam in my Gmail. So I headhunt instead now

So if guys don't message at all, would the ladies take the initiative and maybe mail people they would normally not paid attention to before? "

I would. Have no problem with that.

I did a lot on bumble.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

Same for us !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *limfitladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I set tight filters but it is still not working!

Anyone care to help a fellow fabber out?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ac147 OP Man
over a year ago

Belfast East

"Hello all you wonderful people.

Annnnnnd Go.

There seems to be an over-reliance on using messages alone to get attention. Plenty of more effective ways such as what you've decided to do. Good luck

Yeah I think it's the way to go.. I love logging onto the Forums and posting the odd naughty photo. Just that I think I was getting a bit hung up on the none replies so it's much better if I just take it for what it is. My little page on the Internet where I can share adult content. Let's face it, Facebook would probably frown at some of the pics. Lol.

Happy Fabbing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread