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Red flag advice

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Hi all, I Would like some opinions on the below please.

Chatting with a lady here and all was going well. We discussed meeting for a social coffee and agreed. I was asked when I was free, I gave the day and time etc, I suggested I could collect her as she didn’t drive and we could go for a coffee.

I received a message saying she had changed her mind and blocked me….

Do you think I should not have offered to pick up the OP? Does offering to collect signal a red flag?

Anyway, she is totally entitled to block me etc…. That’s not the issue. I just don’t want to make the same mistake again if offering to collect someone might put them off.

Would You consider my behaviour inappropriate and would it have raised a red flag

Any feedback or advice welcome….

Thanks guys and gals…

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Probably better asking where would suit her to get to and let her pick a venue where she didn't need a lift off you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined fab , i agreed to a coffee meet and the guy collected me from where I was staying, first thing he said to me when I got in the car was never give my address out again.

I would be very wary giving out my address to anyone on here even if completely innocent offer of a lift.

Most people can travel to meet for a coffee so I would just forget about her and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't consider her behaviour red flag though. Lots get nervous, lots change their mind, some aren't sure how to let someone down or reject someone without getting backlash.

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Thanks guys.

Was more worried that my behaviour scared her off. I hear what you’re saying about address etc.

Sound advice.

Thanks.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I wouldn't worry about it. You'll never know why she blocked you .

Like DD and BM said a lot won't want to give out their address so she may have seen it as a red flag. If she wanted to meet though she could have just suggested some where to meet instead. Like I said you'll never know what made her change her mind fab is strange place at times all you can do is just chalk it down to one of those things and move on.oh and I personally would counter block them back so that it won't happen again but that's just me

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"I wouldn't worry about it. You'll never know why she blocked you .

Like DD and BM said a lot won't want to give out their address so she may have seen it as a red flag. If she wanted to meet though she could have just suggested some where to meet instead. Like I said you'll never know what made her change her mind fab is strange place at times all you can do is just chalk it down to one of those things and move on.oh and I personally would counter block them back so that it won't happen again but that's just me "

Harsh but fair…. LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe not offer to pickup but I wonder about her also.

Was she verified? Could the profile be a fake and they jumped ship

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Maybe not offer to pickup but I wonder about her also.

Was she verified? Could the profile be a fake and they jumped ship "

Profile was well verified….

Looks like we will never know.

Pity…. Lol

Anyway lesson learned. Thanks all.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Yeah she was probably spooked by the car journey and you picking her up etc.

Chalk it up to experience and perhaps next time consider how you can go out of your way to make a girl feel safe and comfortable to meet you

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

An old fab mate of mine was asked for a lift to a daytime social event by a woman on a chatgroup. They agreed to meet in the town centre but when he was on his way she sent him her address and asked to be picked up from there instead which he did.

That afternoon when dropping her off his car was attacked by her estranged hubby. He doesn't give lifts anymore.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

A woman getting into a car with a complete stranger, cause let's face it she's don't know you....op for everyone's safety even yours meet in a place where you both can arrive safely and easy to get too .

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth


"Hi all, I Would like some opinions on the below please.

Chatting with a lady here and all was going well. We discussed meeting for a social coffee and agreed. I was asked when I was free, I gave the day and time etc, I suggested I could collect her as she didn’t drive and we could go for a coffee.

I received a message saying she had changed her mind and blocked me….

Do you think I should not have offered to pick up the OP? Does offering to collect signal a red flag?

Anyway, she is totally entitled to block me etc…. That’s not the issue. I just don’t want to make the same mistake again if offering to collect someone might put them off.

Would You consider my behaviour inappropriate and would it have raised a red flag

Any feedback or advice welcome….

Thanks guys and gals…"

Just ask where she wants to meet next time. Its on her to find a way there.

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Again. Thanks all.

Sound advice.

Wasn’t really thinking straight when offering to collect.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick


"Again. Thanks all.

Sound advice.

Wasn’t really thinking straight when offering to collect.

"

This reminds me of the other thread where loads of guys are offering their 'handyman' services to lonely housewives, not realising the safety concerns of the ladies. Sounds like you learned the hard way but at least you know now. Mrs

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By *4guy1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Thanks Mrs, yeah I learned my lesson.

Certainly didn’t intend or would never want to make anyone spooked or uncomfortable…

Very easy for us guys who just don’t have to think about that stuff as much as you ladies…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Considering there is a lot of violence from men towards women and on this site, you are meeting with strangers-until she got to know you and develop some trust the last thing she would want is for a total stranger to know where she lives. On top of that picking her up is a very machiavellian thing as the odds were you were hoping you would drop her home and then get it invited in. I prefer also to meet at a neutral location in public for the first time.

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