FabSwingers.com forum: Couples confiding in your partner

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So how did you bring up the subject of wanting to explore your sexual kinks/tastes and enter the swinging world.

Sober, few drinks, setting ?

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Always sober, and pretty much anywhere (well, maybe not when in company of vanilla folk

) but preferably lying in his embrace somewhere

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Its a hard one to answer, only you would know your partner well enough how to approach.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I feel terribly sorry for couples who don't know each others kinks and fantasies. I can't imagine having such bad communication that they couldn't talk to each other about that stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel terribly sorry for couples who don't know each others kinks and fantasies. I can't imagine having such bad communication that they couldn't talk to each other about that stuff."

Is it our Catholic upbringing that sex wasn’t spoken about.

The longer you’re in a relationship the harder it gets to divulge your sexual tendencies

You’re dead right, people have no trouble airing their sexual preferences to complete strangers here but won’t breath a word to their partners

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"I feel terribly sorry for couples who don't know each others kinks and fantasies. I can't imagine having such bad communication that they couldn't talk to each other about that stuff.

Is it our Catholic upbringing that sex wasn’t spoken about.

The longer you’re in a relationship the harder it gets to divulge your sexual tendencies

You’re dead right, people have no trouble airing their sexual preferences to complete strangers here but won’t breath a word to their partners"

I'm sure there are plenty of different reasons depending on the couple...

Upbringing, shame/shyness, trust, respect, maturity, a/both partner's willingness to be open-minded, sexual development throughout your life, actually realising or becoming more aware of what you like if you're more close minded...

Honesty, trust, acceptance, respect are key

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.

The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.

I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very well articulated by the two previous posts

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

Shame and guilt prevent us from revealing out most intimate thoughts, fetishes, kinks to our partners. Ironically, its the intimacy and comfort t of a long term relationship that allows us to tentatively explore, if only in our heads, our deepest desires. But revealing these to a partner can invite judgement, so shutting down the conversation with them. . But the desires dont go away, so, its good to talk to someone else who is a good listener.

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By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago

down the road

I think for us it started out as fantasy pillow talk. Pillow talk turned into sober conversations that turned into doing something about it. It was probably 3 years from the starting conversation to actually going to our first physical meet. It was me (Mr) that would have initiated it but we are lucky in that we are both horny feckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not in a couple but if people are not sexually compatible it's a complete and utter waste of each others time , that's why Fab eliminates all of that , people know from the very start what each other likes and it's a huge start, how Couples talked about it l don't know but being here is a head start.

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By *ngel and EvilCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Our conversation started after id had a really erotic dream of a 3 some that woke me up and had me incredibly horny. Which led me to wake him outve his slumber to see to my needs. Later that night while out on a drive he asked what had me so worked up. Explaining the dream led to questions and talking about fantasies and desires. Everything out in the open. Joined a different site first then found a lady who introduced us to Fab and kik.

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By *laymates30Couple
over a year ago

The West

Most couples probably come to this lifestyle after a deep delve into mutual fantasies and a willingness to explore. It’s a real test of communication skills (as well as organisational skills!) and it can bring a whole level of trust to a relationship.

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

"I think for us it started out as fantasy pillow talk. Pillow talk turned into sober conversations that turned into doing something about it. It was probably 3 years from the starting conversation to actually going to our first physical meet. It was me (Mr) that would have initiated it but we are lucky in that we are both horny feckers"

Pretty much the same story for us

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By *iamo69Man
over a year ago

South

Maybe a bit of a controversial comment here but

If you can't talk open and freely to your other half in my eyes there is something not right with the relationship.

If you have a fantasy or anything in life you should say it without worrying about the response. If the other half isn't into it maybe they will think about it for you if they are committed or politely explain why it's a no.

But the thing is never ever should anyone have to stay quite if they realy are comfortable with some one.

I've experienced both kinds of relationsships.. And the one one where you both can talk to each other is the one that will last for the better.

Anyways shoot me down in a ball of fire.

Just my two cents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shame and guilt prevent us from revealing out most intimate thoughts, fetishes, kinks to our partners. Ironically, its the intimacy and comfort t of a long term relationship that allows us to tentatively explore, if only in our heads, our deepest desires. But revealing these to a partner can invite judgement, so shutting down the conversation with them. . But the desires dont go away, so, its good to talk to someone else who is a good listener. "

Hey there

Any chance you'd drop me a message . Filters on your profile I can't message you directly.

Luther Black

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By *obroyman17Man
over a year ago

Maybe try them apps for checking mutual tastes in kink and see what matches??? Might trigger a convo….

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By *ouple4funx2000Couple
over a year ago

town

we met on a kink website so was easy enough for us lol

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

I was way to shy and backward to bring it up for years. I just knew in my heart that Gemma would be interested but as already mentioned catholic guilt is a terrible thing.

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.

The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.

I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us it was likely easier then others as we met here in the first place. We were both long term swingers before we had met so was more a matter of time before we did it together. As for catholic guilt guess we were lucky as we don't and have never paid heed to it in the first place. I do feel sorry for the people who can't discuss sexual desires and such with their other halves due to it.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"I suppose Catholic guilt doesn't help.. and in fact probably contributes to the childhood creation of kinks.

The sex positivity movement is the solution. Its OK to be a sexual being and to be open about what turns you on. There is nothing shameful about sexual pleasure.

I can only imagine the awful level of dysfunction that means lifelong partners who can't discuss this stuff with each other. Shame breeds a warped damaging view of sexuality.

This

The church has done so much damage in this country. At the moment I can't think of a single good thing about it ... except maybe the comfort of a possible afterlife. But not forgetting the threat of the 'fires of hell' up to 40 years ago. It really is a horrible institution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.

Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.

Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

"This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.

Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.

Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.

Try 'pillow talk' when you may be at your most comfortable and she may be at her most receptive

I'm speaking from experience by the way. Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a very good thread as I can relate to my situation.

Thinking of mentioning this topic to my wife for nearly 2 years now but the loss for me would be far greater if she isn't interested sexually like myself.

Tried on 2 occasions now in a sober environment but I just froze and moved swiftly onto a different conversation.

Try 'pillow talk' when you may be at your most comfortable and she may be at her most receptive

I'm speaking from experience by the way. Mrs

Really appreciate the advise...Thank You very much. Any guidance is welcome.

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