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Homeless and giving them spare change

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By *ack the lad777 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

So tonigh as I walked along Abbey street a young homeless lad about 24 or 25 asked me for €2 for a cup of tea. My first reaction was no as i had no change. He then said my own people wont even help me get a cup of tea so I was hoping you would.

This made me smile as by "his own people" he means Irish and I look more Italian than Irish even though I'm 100% Irish.

So I stopped and said come on I will get you a cup of tea. We walked along for a out 5 mins and I struck up conversation. We exchanged names where he was from.

When I told him I worked near where he was from and told him what I did for a living his response was "well you know what I would have spent the €2 on if you gave it to me". I said yes and I wont give you money for that but if you still want that cup of tea and something to eat I will get it for you with card as I had no cash. He thanked for my offer but turned down the tea and food.

He was a really nice lad and I genuinely felt for him. I was even tempted to take him for a pint to here is back story but I did not want to encourage drink either.

So my question is. Who will give money to homeless people if you know where its going?

This was my first time ever engaging with a homeless person for longer than 20 seconds but it did strike a cord with me as far as I could see he was a decent lad with a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i have it i give it sometimes i don't, i do sit and chat sometimes and know that they will get money or fags or whatever. But i don't care either way they have it hard and it helps me to have gratitude for what i have.

What i don't like is people who have cars and homes of their own coming into the homeless groups taking stuff when they don't need them. And they look for the best of the clothes and shoes aswell they come early and none left for the actual homeless.

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By *rkkidMan
over a year ago

Cork

Fair play for offering to buy the tea&food with card for him.

I'd always have a few euro on me in town for that reason. I've never had more than 1or2 words.

Is my offering of 1,2 or 3 euro in change going to make life changing choices? Most probably not. From me or the next person who does the same.

But I have personally seen people in Cork asking for charity and later seeing them in a shop getting a drink with more cash in their wallet than I had .

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

I give money to our local homeless shelter every mth its not much but it helps buy tents sleeping bags and toiletries. There are a few homeless round town I give money too and I Don't care if its booze they spent it one. I'd do the same just to get through a night sleeping rough in the cold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fair play for offering to buy the tea&food with card for him.

I'd always have a few euro on me in town for that reason. I've never had more than 1or2 words.

Is my offering of 1,2 or 3 euro in change going to make life changing choices? Most probably not. From me or the next person who does the same.

But I have personally seen people in Cork asking for charity and later seeing them in a shop getting a drink with more cash in their wallet than I had . "

I have had more than one or two words with many when i was volunteering with a charity. It's very sad the stories ypu hear and the amount that die. But yes it's the ones that are not genuine cases are definitely soul destroying. Why go and take from people ok thw streets when you don't need it.

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By *ack the lad777 OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

I dont see this as charity. To me charity is giving my time to help someone or donating to an official charity.

The issue I had tonight is that this money was going straight on drugs and he was honest enough to say that to me. My €2 would not have helped him in anyway. It just means he got his fix quicker. Thats not charity its being part of the problem.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

It's so difficult as I understand why they would choose the drugs or drink to spend it on, if I was in that situation I probably would welcome the temporary escape those choices can bring.

I do give, sometimes food, sometimes cash.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

You spoke to him as a real person which really helps as most don't

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By *rkkidMan
over a year ago

Cork


"I dont see this as charity. To me charity is giving my time to help someone or donating to an official charity.

The issue I had tonight is that this money was going straight on drugs and he was honest enough to say that to me. My €2 would not have helped him in anyway. It just means he got his fix quicker. Thats not charity its being part of the problem. "

For me Charity is giving from one person to another. Giving it to a official charity I personally would be very cautious and do lots of research before donating. I'd sooner give it to a person face to face..

We all have problems in our very own bubble in different times of our lives. We live different lives and so our understandings are all different.

To you that €2 may not of helped him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont see this as charity. To me charity is giving my time to help someone or donating to an official charity.

The issue I had tonight is that this money was going straight on drugs and he was honest enough to say that to me. My €2 would not have helped him in anyway. It just means he got his fix quicker. Thats not charity its being part of the problem. "

Yes he's clearly in addiction by the sounds of it and like said already if i was on the streets i would probably want an escape the cold ground aswell. I was just saying in general about the homeless groups and what annoys me.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"I dont see this as charity. To me charity is giving my time to help someone or donating to an official charity.

The issue I had tonight is that this money was going straight on drugs and he was honest enough to say that to me. My €2 would not have helped him in anyway. It just means he got his fix quicker. Thats not charity its being part of the problem. "

You were kind to give him time and a listening ear for the few minutes you walked and talked. As much as it may be lost on him, it might be one of those acts of kindness that may have given him a little hope.

I agree that giving money to this lad for his next fix is being part of the problem. Unfortunately, the more desperate he gets for his next fix, the more likely he will be to commit a crime. But in reality it's a never-ending vicious cycle.

These lads need to be taken off the street and be given the help they need. Unfortunately they also need to want to do that. And unfortunately the services available are sparse too.

I wonder if the world would be a better place if everyone did a little random act of kindness for people less fortunate than oneself daily...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regularly buy tea or coffee and a Sandwhich. I’ve had it thrown at me

Twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have done in the past something similar where I went to get a big takeaway baguette and a large cup of coffee in a very cold day and asked a guy , I knew he was a alcoholic , if I could offer him that and he stretched his arms and thanked me very much . I don't like to give money for the reason already mention ...

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

There is such a stigma attached to homeless ppl in regards to drink and drugs and that's not everyone just like all walks of life. Its so much more than that and shouldnt be the main focus.I can't imagine what it's like to feel invisible, a nobody feel worthless for the few I interact with that's how they feel every single day of their existence. It's just heart breaking and homelessness will be worse this yr with inflation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is such a stigma attached to homeless ppl in regards to drink and drugs and that's not everyone just like all walks of life. Its so much more than that and shouldnt be the main focus.I can't imagine what it's like to feel invisible, a nobody feel worthless for the few I interact with that's how they feel every single day of their existence. It's just heart breaking and homelessness will be worse this yr with inflation. "

Exactly and i have met loads who were not on drink or drugs they were thrown out of home over families difficulties, adultery, couldn't afford rent etc lots of different reasons why some are there.

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By *rkkidMan
over a year ago

Cork


"

I wonder if the world would be a better place if everyone did a little random act of kindness for people less fortunate than oneself daily..."

I'm sure it would be greatly improved for all.

Such a simple yet massive impact for any society.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont see this as charity. To me charity is giving my time to help someone or donating to an official charity.

The issue I had tonight is that this money was going straight on drugs and he was honest enough to say that to me. My €2 would not have helped him in anyway. It just means he got his fix quicker. Thats not charity its being part of the problem.

You were kind to give him time and a listening ear for the few minutes you walked and talked. As much as it may be lost on him, it might be one of those acts of kindness that may have given him a little hope.

I agree that giving money to this lad for his next fix is being part of the problem. Unfortunately, the more desperate he gets for his next fix, the more likely he will be to commit a crime. But in reality it's a never-ending vicious cycle.

These lads need to be taken off the street and be given the help they need. Unfortunately they also need to want to do that. And unfortunately the services available are sparse too.

I wonder if the world would be a better place if everyone did a little random act of kindness for people less fortunate than oneself daily..."

What they said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Few years ago me and the other half went to see friend play a gig in Dublin. We were staying in a hotel on o'connell Street. At the end of the night we got separated and I rang her and she was outside Clearys talking to people. I walked to where she was ant the people she was talking to were homeless. We ended up buying them food and drink. They said the amount of abuse they get was unreal. Id never judge anyone for being on the street. I was literally one step away from being homeless. It is unbelievably easy to drop into that life. No one chooses to be homeless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have ye ever been on the street? Drink or drugs is often a way to make it through a cold wet night. We are quick to judge however alot of homeless people need a coping mechanism. Yes drink and drugs aren't the best one. But alot of people here have a glass of wine to relax after a "stressful" day. Think of the scenario you cant get into a shelter for the night your scared thinking where can I sleep that's not just dry but also safe..safe from young d*unk rich idiots ridiculing me other homeless people who may rob me etc etc...walk a mile in their shoes so to speak. Some people have no family no back up..few bad breaks and they are out on their ass alone and scared.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have ye ever been on the street? Drink or drugs is often a way to make it through a cold wet night. We are quick to judge however alot of homeless people need a coping mechanism. Yes drink and drugs aren't the best one. But alot of people here have a glass of wine to relax after a "stressful" day. Think of the scenario you cant get into a shelter for the night your scared thinking where can I sleep that's not just dry but also safe..safe from young d*unk rich idiots ridiculing me other homeless people who may rob me etc etc...walk a mile in their shoes so to speak. Some people have no family no back up..few bad breaks and they are out on their ass alone and scared."

Exactly and people use sex to get by with other addictions they maybe even blind to then judging others. Just because someone isn't out on the streets they to can be struggling

Like you say walk in their shoes the very sad part is that some actual want to stay on the street not to burden their family any longer. I do always give if i have the change and also i would chat sometimes aswell, it actually costs nothing to be nice for a few minutes.

I think the government should build one big building to accommodate the homeless.

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

It's a vicous circle for many homeless people.No one chooses to be homeless but often its all they know or end up in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to give money to homeless people from time to time, but will ask too if they need food or cups of tea etc.

I understand why people think it’s money that just enables them continuing to use drugs/alcohol, but in most cases with complex addiction they will still get their fix somewhere regardless if they get a few quid - likely through crime or worse, being exploited. Giving change or a few Euro, you aren’t creating or solving a problem, but it might alleviate some micro-risks to the individual in their day-to-day life.

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By *risharrowMan
over a year ago

Clare,

I have this theory about time, I won't bore people but if someone begging for money is prepared to sit on a cold ground or stand in the pissing rain and something, I can afford to give, can help pass that persons time pass a bit more pleasantly, then I'm prepared to give it. What they need to use the money to purchase is no longer my concern. If you give something to anyone you should instantly relinquish any emotions you had attached to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have this theory about time, I won't bore people but if someone begging for money is prepared to sit on a cold ground or stand in the pissing rain and something, I can afford to give, can help pass that persons time pass a bit more pleasantly, then I'm prepared to give it. What they need to use the money to purchase is no longer my concern. If you give something to anyone you should instantly relinquish any emotions you had attached to it. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to give money to homeless people from time to time, but will ask too if they need food or cups of tea etc.

I understand why people think it’s money that just enables them continuing to use drugs/alcohol, but in most cases with complex addiction they will still get their fix somewhere regardless if they get a few quid - likely through crime or worse, being exploited. Giving change or a few Euro, you aren’t creating or solving a problem, but it might alleviate some micro-risks to the individual in their day-to-day life. "

exactly addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful if they want they will get a fix no matter what they have to do for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have this theory about time, I won't bore people but if someone begging for money is prepared to sit on a cold ground or stand in the pissing rain and something, I can afford to give, can help pass that persons time pass a bit more pleasantly, then I'm prepared to give it. What they need to use the money to purchase is no longer my concern. If you give something to anyone you should instantly relinquish any emotions you had attached to it. "

Yes it should be more about the receiver than the giver. People are throwing away money in pubs and restaurants in a lavish lifestyle isn't it same difference only the people spending it on the streets are troubled and hopeless have no other coping mechanisms.

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

Worked with a guy in cork,that had been homeless in Dublin for about 2 years,he moved to cork and was homeless there for about a year and eventually got things back on track,hearing him talk about it was terrible

I def try and help a bit if I do meet people....food donations...money...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try and help ,not by giving money. But buying a coffee or sandwich or similar. There but for the grace of god go any of us.

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By *icko48Man
over a year ago

dublin

Every little helps the homeless regardless of what they use it for

Never know what’s in our own future

Used to be a homeless old guy on mounts st bridge

He actually got on the record cover on bout house flowers first album

Lovely man but funny

He would ask in the morning , any odds I’m dying with a hangover

When leaving office he would be outside singing

He stopped a workmate of mine and asked any odds. He replied I gave u money this morning

He responded with do I want a fuxxxing receipt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tonigh as I walked along Abbey street a young homeless lad about 24 or 25 asked me for €2 for a cup of tea. My first reaction was no as i had no change. He then said my own people wont even help me get a cup of tea so I was hoping you would.

This made me smile as by "his own people" he means Irish and I look more Italian than Irish even though I'm 100% Irish.

So I stopped and said come on I will get you a cup of tea. We walked along for a out 5 mins and I struck up conversation. We exchanged names where he was from.

When I told him I worked near where he was from and told him what I did for a living his response was "well you know what I would have spent the €2 on if you gave it to me". I said yes and I wont give you money for that but if you still want that cup of tea and something to eat I will get it for you with card as I had no cash. He thanked for my offer but turned down the tea and food.

He was a really nice lad and I genuinely felt for him. I was even tempted to take him for a pint to here is back story but I did not want to encourage drink either.

So my question is. Who will give money to homeless people if you know where its going?

This was my first time ever engaging with a homeless person for longer than 20 seconds but it did strike a cord with me as far as I could see he was a decent lad with a problem. "

100% sound

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I used to engage with people on the street but fortunately there were never many homeless or sleeping rough. Over the years I've given coffees and sandwiches but can only remember giving money a couple of times. I've had the coffee and sandwiches thrown back at me twice.

On one occasion I helped an old man who was in distress and he thanked me very much. I was still at school at the time and didn't have any cash to give him but he actually offered me a fiver for my kindness. Turns out he was an extremely wealthy landowner who dressed like he hadn't a penny to his name.

I haven't offered help to anyone on the street for years though after one incident.

I gave whatever change I had to a guy who was begging in the centre of town. He said he hadn't enough for a hot meal.

The next day in another town 50 miles away I watched the same guy get out of a car across the street from where I was parked and he put his designer gear in the boot before dressing in an old coat and hat and sitting in a doorway in an adjacent street.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play to you OP for doing that . I try to engage with someone homeless every time I'm in Cork city. There are a few I won't engage with. Had a fella a good few weeks ago ask for a euro to get a bus back to Limerick as he "lost his wallet". Seen the same chap pulling the same stunt with a different person maybe a week or so later.

That said I try not judge the majority on the actions of the minority. I have said to people who are homeless "I don't have cash but I do have my time, do you want to have a chat for a bit?" It's very rare someone will say no and tbh there's just as much if not more gratitude in sitting with someone if they are open to it and just listening to them . People want to connect and to be valued . I've had some of the most fascinating discussions with people in this position. They'd make for a great documentary tbh.

As for the money thing , I guess ask yourself why are you giving money ? Is it to help them ? If so is that on a conditional basis ? Why is there a condition on it ? There isn't conditions on wages/social welfare. We accept as a society people have free will . Behind addiction is pain . It's not a choice . Substance use of an addictive nature is trying to numb the pain of their world . One of the world's leading experts on addiction Dr. Gabor Matè helps to reframe the discussion around addiction so eloquently.

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