FabSwingers.com forum: Fr ted quotes

By *aptain Caveman41 OP Man
over a year ago

Home

So whats your favourite

"are those my feet"

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

Feck…..

Girls…..

Arse…..

Drink…..

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"That would be an ecumenical matter."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Down with that sort of thing

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

"Dougal, it looks small because its far away"

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By *ummer_XOWoman
over a year ago

Tyrone

That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what its really all about.

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By *indenMan
over a year ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

“How did that gobshite get on the television”…….

I think this every time I watch television….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feck off cup!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cruelly did you really kick me up the ass...

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By *aptain Caveman41 OP Man
over a year ago

Home

Ride me sideways is another one

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Whilst in conversation with the Bishop on the country road.....well, that'the bit I don't get!

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

No! I mean people that I actually respect (not my parishioners).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ted: "Nasty day, did you come by the new road?"

Fr. Jessop: "No, we went around by Southern Yemen."

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

No. I think we'll watch it again! Jack then presses the Play button on the VHS player and Closing Title theme begins. Magic!

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

That money was only resting in my account!

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By *teppenwolfMan
over a year ago

Cork

I hear your a racist now father

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By *uriousCouple03Couple
over a year ago

Thats a secret Northern Ireland

“I had my fun and that’s all that matters”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yer bollox out of my face

I’ll stick this effin pitch fork up yer hole

But Ted, bishops love sci-fi

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By *orkcouple81Couple
over a year ago

west

Dougal: “God Ted, I’ve heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord’s going to come back and judge us all.”

Ted: “No… no Dougal, that’s us. That’s Catholicism you’re talking about there.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course They all have lovely bottoms

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By *ondalingerMan
over a year ago

City center

Didn't you tell me that fr jack had trials for Liverpool

No dougal, he was on trial, in liverpool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's mad Ted

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Father Ted is replete with dozens of memorable quotes, but could anyone quote anything memorable from Mrs Brown's Boys?

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By *issTinyWoman
over a year ago

omagh

“Billy’s is rounder at the top”

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By *aptain Caveman41 OP Man
over a year ago

Home

"Father Ted is replete with dozens of memorable quotes, but could anyone quote anything memorable from Mrs Brown's Boys?"
I don't watch Mrs browns boys so that's why I did a fr ted one

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By *scar3Man
over a year ago

navan

"Pat wants to put his big tool in my box"

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By *scar3Man
over a year ago

navan

"The Chinese. A great bunch of lads"

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"Down with that sort of thing"

Careful now!

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By *ereandthere69Man
over a year ago

somewhere east

'She was in the nip' Dougal

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

What? Priests? Don't tell me I'm still on that feckin' island!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speed 3 Episode (Pat Mustard)

So many good one liners in this episode.

‘And now to ride mrs O’Reilly’ lol

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
over a year ago

Antrim Town

At a wake prior to covid, going round with the tea pot, sooo difficult not to grin and say in Mrs Doyle accent " cuppa tea father?" To the local priest

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"At a wake prior to covid, going round with the tea pot, sooo difficult not to grin and say in Mrs Doyle accent " cuppa tea father?" To the local priest

Ah, go on!

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
over a year ago

Antrim Town

"At a wake prior to covid, going round with the tea pot, sooo difficult not to grin and say in Mrs Doyle accent " cuppa tea father?" To the local priest

Ah, go on!"

Ya will, ya will, ya will.

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By *risharrowMan
over a year ago

Clare,

I love my brick.

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By *antasyFrolicksWoman
over a year ago

Behind The Bales

Mrs Doyle referring to a dirty novel Bastard this and bastard that, you couldn't move for the bastards.. Ride me sideways was another one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

July 19th, now why does that strike me as important?

Would that be the day the ice age ended?

No dougal, you can’t be that precise about the ice age!

I’ll look it up in the diary.

July 19th, on this day Galway librates from the Indians.

Marathon becomes Snickers

Ahhhaaa Ted, ice age ends!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to copy and paste this one but it’s my all time fave

Because of the beast. They say it's as big as four cats and it's got a retractable leg so's it can leap up at you better. And you know what, Ted, it lights up at night and it's got four ears, two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of back-up ears. Its claws are as big as cups and for some reason, it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! Mrs Doyle was telling me that it's got magnets on its tail, so's if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you and instead of a mouth, it's got four arses!

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By *outhguy31Man
over a year ago

Louth

God, Ted I’ve never met anyone like him anyway. Who would he be like? Hitler or one of those mad fellas

Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn’t find Hitler playing jungle music at three o’clock in the morning

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By *damdubfunMan
over a year ago

dublin south

[Removed by poster at 30/01/22 20:53:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God, Ted I’ve never met anyone like him anyway. Who would he be like? Hitler or one of those mad fellas

Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn’t find Hitler playing jungle music at three o’clock in the morning"

Another belter,

God Ted, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stage 12

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By *allyCD123TV/TS
over a year ago

Wexford

Tom: to the faith of our fathers tv crew when they arrive in the island pulls down his pants revealing his bare arse and says “would ya believe me own dog did that to me” lol while they all wince. Then Tom with Ted and Douglas goes Ito the post office with a shotgun shots fired he comes out with a wad of money and say “its me own money I just don’t like filling out the forms” lol class

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By *outhguy31Man
over a year ago

Louth

"God, Ted I’ve never met anyone like him anyway. Who would he be like? Hitler or one of those mad fellas

Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn’t find Hitler playing jungle music at three o’clock in the morning

Another belter,

God Ted, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stage 12

Ah Ted, can we not keep him

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By *eginaGWoman
over a year ago

It’s only a bleedin whistle

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By *ubberNumbersCouple
over a year ago

dublin

Mrs Doyle on manually making tea: Maybe I like the misery

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By *owncouple5Couple
over a year ago

near Belfast

"Is there anything to be said for saying another mass"

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The quality of the team's scriptwriting was superb; but I do think Father Ted is broadcast much too often.

After 25 years, it stands up very well; my personal favourite is the Eurosong episode, especially the bit where Ted is frustrated by his inability to compose, and is surrounded by scraps of paper. The best ever!

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By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago

down the road

In the caravan "Small, far away"

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By *ind PaddyMan
over a year ago

South County Dublin

You cannot say that Ted, there all lovely girls. The winner had to pay Fr Ted's meal

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The very best scene, where nothing is said, is the one where Mrs Doyle is washing Dougal, as he is seated naked in the bath.

Amazingly, I personally know of a instance where this actually happened, in real life!

No names, of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll make the tea, and you take your bra off"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More warter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there anything to be said for saying another mass

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple
over a year ago

Portadown

So what are we doing today then Ted? Confessions and mass and things like that?

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple
over a year ago

Portadown

Ted!! Did Len see the rabbits??

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple
over a year ago

Portadown

Ted!! Did Len see the rabbits??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Careful now

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"Careful now"

This quote will still be recalled in another hundred years, even when the original source will have been forgotten!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I put my big tool in your box

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Tommy Tiernan tells about getting his lines wrong so many times on the final episode that Dermot Morgan had to repeat a stunt over and over.

During Dermot's funeral Ardal O'Hanlon turned to Tommy and said "You killed Ted!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lord forgive me for saying this Father...but wouldn't it have been better if he'd have been killed?"

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

“Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, ‘collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?'”

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By *addyandhisslutCouple
over a year ago

Dublin City

Ted - "Clit Power... What does that mean? I knew a Fr. Clint Power once, maybe she's having a go at him!"

Too funny

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that fella.... E.T."

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By *odeos_gringoCouple
over a year ago

belfast

These ones are small, but those ones are far away.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"These ones are small, but those ones are far away. "

The person within the team of scriptwriters who conceived that gem should have got an award; that will be remembered for decades, if not longer!

They are equally as good as the writing team, headed by Nat Hiken, on Sgt. Bilko, aka The Phil Silvers Show aka You'll Never Get Rich.

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple
over a year ago

Portadown

Is it sort of a nudie thing father??

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple
over a year ago

Portadown

Ted! Ted! My tank top has turned into some weird women's bra!!

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By *ampire69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham West Midlands

Cup of tea father

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Priests are not fascists! Fascists are people who dress in black and tell everyone what to do!

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By *ampire69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham West Midlands

Ahh go on go on go on

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

Ted: “So you took Father Jack out for a walk… and you lost him. Again.”

Dougal: “Well, Ted, like I said the last time: ‘it won’t happen again’. What’s the worst that could happen to him anyway?”

Ted: “Well Dougal, he could have an accident and be killed.”

Dougal: “Oh right, yes.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The writers of Father Ted went to the same school as I did in Dublin. Its located on Lower Leeson St. All of the majority of the Father Ted priest characters and names are based on priests from the school. I know who Father Jack and Father Ted were based on. Father Jack is a worse example of one particular priest but very accurate still. Fr Larry Duff is a slightly altered name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been a long time since I watched that show but I still could remember just about everything in the quotes there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ted: “Dougal, do we have any incense?”

Dougal: “There was… a spider in the bath the other night.”

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP TED!'

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By *OCONO5Couple
over a year ago

Sensual Center

Mrs Doyle: “Oh she writes such filth, Father. It’s always ‘Feck this’ and ‘Feck that’ – and sometimes she even uses the F-word!”

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By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

Father Jack in a room full of rabbits

"RATS......... HAIRY JAPANESE BASTURDS!!"

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Father Ted from the mid-1990s is progressively being immortalised in the same manner the Sgt. Bilko of the mid-1950s was; superb writing and dramatis personae which epitomised the Zeitgeist of the time.

Mrs Brown's Boys is not in the same league as these two gems, that generations of new audiences will be watching in the next century.

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

(Tom, with his head between his own legs)

Would ya believe me own dog did that ta me father?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a fight, Father."

"And did you win, Tom?"

"I most certainly did, Father..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"(Tom, with his head between his own legs)

Would ya believe me own dog did that ta me father? "

Doesn’t it look like a face?!

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"I really shouldn't be here."

Lets see if the fan can remember this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello Len.

Don't call me Len, you little prick. I'm a bishop!

Oh right. Well done

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By *isspafWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Oh, worse than Hilter, you wouldn't find Hilter playing jungle music at 3 in the morning.

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By *andyman.snrMan
over a year ago

leixlip

ah lads, great thread

will i cut it 4 or 8, oh jaysus ted, 4! i couldn't eat 8.

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