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"Never compare yourself to others.. You will never be truly happy if you do ![]() That's very easily said... | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() Confused? | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() I do same especially when new veris pop up... ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() Same I've even down turned guys over veris as I wonder why they want to meet me | |||
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"Never compare yourself to others.. You will never be truly happy if you do ![]() Very easily done too.. I don't care what other people have never did ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() Ditto! Difficult to challenge those thoughts when you're internalising it all... | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() Mostly when all of their veris are from slim women and the doubt creeps in | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster " This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? " See I think it has boosted my confidence and helped me realise that more men than I thought are attracted to plus size women. And yet I still compare myself sometimes so yea ![]() | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? " Yes definitely, 8f someone had told me beside joining here, that I would take pics of me in lingerie , that I would get naked in front of a guy with the lights on I would have laughed at them. Everynow and than a comment or message may knock my confidence a bit but Everyone has their insecurities I have learned to challenge mine | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? See I think it has boosted my confidence and helped me realise that more men than I thought are attracted to plus size women. And yet I still compare myself sometimes so yea ![]() Balancing act ![]() | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? " My self confidence was zero for 49 years for all sorts of reasons and as far as I was concerned I was invisible. Then I made life choices and things happened to change that but by the time I first joined here aged 52 I already knew I wasn't invisible. Being here just reinforced that more than anything else. | |||
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"No...we are gone past the age where we compare ourselves to other profiles ...and can afford to change...your stuck with us as we are ![]() Lovely place to be ![]() | |||
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" This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? " It's definitely provided ample opportunity to become aware of and question some of my insecurities. Those self-judging thoughts arise a lot! But it means that I can be mindful of them when they do, and then question them. I felt like I gained a bit of insight this week when I noticed the thoughts arising and just thought "fuck off! The sole purpose of these thoughts is to make me feel bad." This was after allowing them to arise and just be there lots of times, so I wouldn't say it's a case of suppressing them, just a case of recognising them and their futility. They still arise and sometimes are more sticky than others but "another fucking opportunity for growth" as they say. ![]() | |||
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" This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? It's definitely provided ample opportunity to become aware of and question some of my insecurities. Those self-judging thoughts arise a lot! But it means that I can be mindful of them when they do, and then question them. I felt like I gained a bit of insight this week when I noticed the thoughts arising and just thought "fuck off! The sole purpose of these thoughts is to make me feel bad." This was after allowing them to arise and just be there lots of times, so I wouldn't say it's a case of suppressing them, just a case of recognising them and their futility. They still arise and sometimes are more sticky than others but "another fucking opportunity for growth" as they say. ![]() This is what I've learned from here, I used to bury the thoughts and they just got louder and more negative now I just feel the thought and question why I think that way, what happened? Listening to a lot of podcasts too and one thing a lot have in common is the advise to be a friend to yourself, ask yourself when you have a negative thought would you say it to your friend? No you wouldn't as they wouldn't be your friend. Listened to "know your worth" by Anna Mathur on audible Well worth a listen to. | |||
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"Listened to "know your worth" by Anna Mathur on audible Well worth a listen to. " She's so brutally honest, it's refreshing!! | |||
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"Listened to "know your worth" by Anna Mathur on audible Well worth a listen to. She's so brutally honest, it's refreshing!! " I've ordered the hard copy of the book as so many good points in it need to highlight them | |||
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" Listened to "know your worth" by Anna Mathur on audible Well worth a listen to. " Nice! I've got a credit on there, I'll give it a listen. Have you read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? | |||
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" Listened to "know your worth" by Anna Mathur on audible Well worth a listen to. Nice! I've got a credit on there, I'll give it a listen. Have you read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle?" Tried it but couldn't take to it may try again | |||
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" Have you read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? Tried it but couldn't take to it may try again" Ah ya, there are plenty of other books out there on the same subject. I just found it to be a nice introduction to meditation (even though he doesn't advocate for meditation ![]() | |||
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"Find myself continously comparing myself to the other female profiles here (as well as in real life)... Do you do the same? And to what degree? Are men as guilty of this as women tend to be? Give me your insights... " I think its natural to a certain degree, but just always remember your own strengths and dont get down on yourself. Remind yourself of what you do have, because on balance no-one has it all I reckon | |||
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"It's only natural to compare yourself to others on this. After all it's essentially the focal point of most Social Media platforms and Fab is no stranger to that sort of susceptibility. I find it beneficial to remind yourself that everyone has insecurities and perceived shortcomings, even for those users whose profiles can bring out your own. It's not a contest for 1st, 2nd or 3rd, and even if it was then the vast majority of us would be in the same boat - which means you'll have plenty of company! ![]() As long as it's not the Titanic ![]() | |||
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"When I first joined Fab on my single's profile I felt very inadequate, particularly as I was getting used to navigating the site as well as learning the pitfalls of being a newbie. I found myself looking at loads of women's profiles in order to gauge how to approach setting out my own profile... and boy, was it intimidating at first! Seeing all those beautiful, confident, sexy bodies and verifications. Even at that time I would have considered myself relatively confident and happy in my body as well as knowing that I was on a path of finding my own way in life after separation, which knocked me for six - and I was content with my progress. Now here as a couple - relatively new still, I am occasionally still guilty of this - comparing myself to the photos of women and how they depict themselves, on their profile, in the forum and in messages. I do have my down days for sure where I beat myself up for my short comings. I think that's only human. But overall, I would say that Fab has given me more confidence than doubt. I know now sexy is an attitude not a particular "look". There would have been a time that was a concept so far removed from my life! Just like in everyday life, I've met those who like me and/or are attracted to me and those who didn't...and that's perfectly ok because I don't take to everyone either. I've learned that it's best for my head and heart to remove toxic people in my life. I intend to do and have done the same with my Fab life. I truly believe we are all beautiful in our own rite...the beautiful qualities far outweigh our flaws. Embrace your uniqueness, embrace your flaws and embrace the beauty within and without ![]() ![]() ![]() Love this! Thank you for sharing x | |||
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"because on balance no-one has it all I reckon" Except the people to whom I compare myself ![]() ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() I am a bit guilty of this exact thing. | |||
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"All the time. I cant help it. Ive struggled with body issues for most of my life so the place aint exactly a confidence booster This place? Wonder has anyone felt the opposite and found a confidence boost here and how/why? " I definitely compare myself to others all the time but it's just human to do so. Since joining the lifestyle I would say confidence has grown dramatically for both of us. You find when you meet people we all have our insecurities, our lumps and bumps but I love that! No one is perfect, but it's important to be happy with yourself ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() Why confused? ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() Answered further down but usually it’s to do with the potential meet only having veris from slim women. | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() I do this too and if I see all their veris are from slim women I know they most likely have no interest in me and are likely the "any holes a goal" kinda person so dont bother continuing the conversation any further. | |||
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"Find myself continously comparing myself to the other female profiles here (as well as in real life)... Do you do the same? And to what degree? Are men as guilty of this as women tend to be? Give me your insights... " Ya constantly conparing to the female profiles here for some reason their boobs always look better than mine | |||
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"Find myself continously comparing myself to the other female profiles here (as well as in real life)... Do you do the same? And to what degree? Are men as guilty of this as women tend to be? Give me your insights... Ya constantly conparing to the female profiles here for some reason their boobs always look better than mine" Might I suggest assessing your angles, lighting and lingerie....? | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() Feel exact same.. ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() ![]() Though you are gorgeous and very slim, I dont know why you would compare yourself ![]() | |||
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"Had a coffee meet this week that didn't go any further... Immediate thoughts: I'm too big for him and my photos are misleading. He's not attracted and I wonder what part in particular was least appealing. I wonder did I say something wrong/put my foot in it/talk too much.... Could have been simply no chemistry but these are the places my head goes... " Sometimes it just doesn't happen and it might have nothing to do with you at all ....definitely nothing to worry about ..thats from a man with feck all self confidence in himself | |||
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"Find myself continously comparing myself to the other female profiles here (as well as in real life)... Do you do the same? And to what degree? Are men as guilty of this as women tend to be? Give me your insights... " I used to do it really . I think it's more a society damage . But since we dipped and actually not just dipped but went straight swimming in swinger life i myself don't feel like comparing anymore. I find myself more and more attractive and if someone doesn't like me the way I am ,then it's just their taste . Plenty of people who would ![]() | |||
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"If I’m planning to meet someone, I’ll often end up comparing myself to other women they have met and be confused ![]() ![]() Yes sometimes veris get me down… the why would they want to meet me questions often pops up… | |||
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"I think it's human nature to compare, the important thing is how you react. I must say my confidence has improved with the Fab experience, meeting other confident women who are loving the scene and having fun has been inspirational. Maturity is also a massive factor for me. Doesn't stop me taking 50 pics of myself and being unhappy with every single one though! I'd imagine the place can be soul destroying for men due to the ratio difference but I really recommend pushing yourself to attend socials (try to arrange to meet people there) instead of messaging constantly and getting nothing back. Mrs x" Agree 100% with everything here… above the 100 pics and not one good one!!! Lol | |||
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"Had a coffee meet this week that didn't go any further... Immediate thoughts: I'm too big for him and my photos are misleading. He's not attracted and I wonder what part in particular was least appealing. I wonder did I say something wrong/put my foot in it/talk too much.... Could have been simply no chemistry but these are the places my head goes... " This is exactly why I havent met anyone yet. I think the same. I also dont want to mislead anyone about my size as men often call me curvy and I'm like, eh no not curvy, I'm much much bigger then that. And because I dont want to mislead I think I am over the top in letting them know my size and how big I am which can be off putting. Anyhow I'd rather play on my own as usual then have someone feel I misled them and see the look of disappointment on their face at s meet. | |||
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"Personality is a fkn delight but physically I'm angel delight ![]() Can I steal this?? | |||
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"Personality is a fkn delight but physically I'm angel delight ![]() Fkn right you can ![]() | |||
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