FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Ireland

Open relationship

Jump to newest
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Hi so what u all think then of open relationship as I was with my ex for 7 years and on we have been slipt up over a year and she is now saying she what to be with me but only if we have a open relationship

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm depends, for some people they seem to work well, for others it's like a stop-gap relationship while they hunt for something better.

If you think it might be of interest to you, it's up to you to explore with her exactly what it might mean and where the boundaries might lie

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end "

Why waste your life on someone who doesn't make you feel loved or valued?

My advise would be to cut contact and stop allowing her to mess with your head.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end

Why waste your life on someone who doesn't make you feel loved or valued?

My advise would be to cut contact and stop allowing her to mess with your head. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever you do make sure to keep your head in the right place! Would it be worth it to fuck your head up?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end

Why waste your life on someone who doesn't make you feel loved or valued?

My advise would be to cut contact and stop allowing her to mess with your head. "

100% agree cut contact don’t get manipulated into something your not happy about

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Well the more to it then just her we have 3 kids and I miss them so much and not been able to been with them as much as I was I only see them two day in the week and then have them every 2nd weekend so I would love to be around them more and that's the thing I know she knows that and I'd do anything for her that's the really fucked up thing like this weekend she call me to pick her up and take her home as she had no money for a taxi so I said ya then when I got her home to her house that when she told me I picked her up for one of the lads she been sleeping with just can believe she did that to me my head is telling me yo run my heart is saying stay she might change

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well the more to it then just her we have 3 kids and I miss them so much and not been able to been with them as much as I was I only see them two day in the week and then have them every 2nd weekend so I would love to be around them more and that's the thing I know she knows that and I'd do anything for her that's the really fucked up thing like this weekend she call me to pick her up and take her home as she had no money for a taxi so I said ya then when I got her home to her house that when she told me I picked her up for one of the lads she been sleeping with just can believe she did that to me my head is telling me yo run my heart is saying stay she might change "

From my personal experience, sort it out legally to see kids, if she is just pulling your strings it’ll ruin your mental health and possibly in the future cause you issues with your relationship with your children.

That said do what you feel is best for YOU

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickheadcuntCouple
over a year ago

Cork Ireland

I know it's a Monday morning but does she know your on here ? Is it only me that thinks it's a little strange?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickheadcuntCouple
over a year ago

Cork Ireland

If it feels right drive on all the same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ursecretmischiefCouple
over a year ago

The West


"Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end "

After reading that, you should politely tell her to fuck off!

The red flags are massive here, man!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Ya she know I'm on here as she is to was told by a friend she was on this so I said fuck it and have to say it's been good talk to a few people that know where I'm coming from and that I came on this to try and find something that may make me feel like I was wanted and that as I said she didn't want me and then after it all end now she dose put just for sex nothing more and have no feeling where she know I still love her that the things I have try my best to distances myself but I keep getting pulled in she was my world and she is useing that no me but I would do anything for her if it ment I would be close to her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town


"Well the more to it then just her we have 3 kids and I miss them so much and not been able to been with them as much as I was I only see them two day in the week and then have them every 2nd weekend so I would love to be around them more and that's the thing I know she knows that and I'd do anything for her that's the really fucked up thing like this weekend she call me to pick her up and take her home as she had no money for a taxi so I said ya then when I got her home to her house that when she told me I picked her up for one of the lads she been sleeping with just can believe she did that to me my head is telling me yo run my heart is saying stay she might change "
this is a relationship not going to work. Truth be told you know it. Get access sorted for kids legally. And stay away from your ex and her mind gaming ways. Concentrate on your kids and you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

We tryed this site a few years back and it didn't work as she said she could not c me with some she would go mad so we left the site and now that all she wants but when we where with each other she could not now I'm think she been doin things behide my back the hole time it's just fuck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town


"Ya she know I'm on here as she is to was told by a friend she was on this so I said fuck it and have to say it's been good talk to a few people that know where I'm coming from and that I came on this to try and find something that may make me feel like I was wanted and that as I said she didn't want me and then after it all end now she dose put just for sex nothing more and have no feeling where she know I still love her that the things I have try my best to distances myself but I keep getting pulled in she was my world and she is useing that no me but I would do anything for her if it ment I would be close to her "
she's wanting nsa last person I would go to is my ex knowing he still has feelings for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well the more to it then just her we have 3 kids and I miss them so much and not been able to been with them as much as I was I only see them two day in the week and then have them every 2nd weekend so I would love to be around them more and that's the thing I know she knows that and I'd do anything for her that's the really fucked up thing like this weekend she call me to pick her up and take her home as she had no money for a taxi so I said ya then when I got her home to her house that when she told me I picked her up for one of the lads she been sleeping with just can believe she did that to me my head is telling me yo run my heart is saying stay she might change this is a relationship not going to work. Truth be told you know it. Get access sorted for kids legally. And stay away from your ex and her mind gaming ways. Concentrate on your kids and you."

Bingo, OP, it's far healthier for your kids not to grow up in a toxic environment. Sort out regular access, with mediation if necessary.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

The thing is over the xmass we where getting on like the way we did end and I was staying there because of the kids but we slept with one another ever nite I was there and I don't just mean sex it was more then that if u know what I mean and she said that to me then I found out the nite I with home to my place she was with some1 else

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. Stop posting about it. It's not going to help you and in a different forum could be used against you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

I think it would be good for you to see a counsellor, to see what you really want in your life. If what you want above anything else, is access to your kids, then youre being manipulated into an open relationship, and that wont work. Sort out legalities, custody, etc... and, you wont want to hear this but its seems its time to move on from her.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago

down the road


"Ya she know I'm on here as she is to was told by a friend she was on this so I said fuck it and have to say it's been good talk to a few people that know where I'm coming from and that I came on this to try and find something that may make me feel like I was wanted and that as I said she didn't want me and then after it all end now she dose put just for sex nothing more and have no feeling where she know I still love her that the things I have try my best to distances myself but I keep getting pulled in she was my world and she is useing that no me but I would do anything for her if it ment I would be close to her "

So is she not reading this?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP i think what's been said already is great advice, seek counselling and cut contact. Sort out access to your kids and then keep working on yourself. I have always wanted to try an open relationship but it just hasn't happened yet because i obviously wasn't ready and didn't meet the right openminded person. I wanted it in my mind but there was a fear of loosing my partner and jealousy kicked in also i did seem like the more open onebof the two longterms i had so kt wouldn't have worked either way.

Also what's being said about sharing to much on here i totally agree especially if she is on here too. It could definitely back fire so a suggestion would be to be to thread carefully.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Thanks u all for what u said I hear u and just need to move forward with my life and what is best for me that all I can do thanks again it said help me C alot of thing know that I have talk about it instead of holding it all in turely grateful all that has been said

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkymasseurMan
over a year ago

Swords


"I think it would be good for you to see a counsellor, to see what you really want in your life. If what you want above anything else, is access to your kids, then youre being manipulated into an open relationship, and that wont work. Sort out legalities, custody, etc... and, you wont want to hear this but its seems its time to move on from her. "

100% I would agree with that she is toxic, she is using you cause your good heart, dedication to family and your deep strong feelings and love towards her. I say you are really in a kinda emotionally bad shape, hard to get your own thoughts. but I know what you were going through. Done it 5 times in last 6 years. First one my ex fiance, second a girl I just started going out with. And last 3 times each year to my last girl. You are still blinded by love, and not being honest with yourself about what we all are trying to say. Cause what is she doing to you is way worse than some cheating on the side or making her life much easier having you as a punching bag cause her fuck buddy or date done something, a sponsor since you are back together, baby sitter not for emergencies but for her to be free and childless again so no need to comeback home for the night. She is really selfish, cold, kinda like energy vampire who would suck whatever still is good in you till you are mentally drained and impossible to fix. And you probably would be no use for her anymore. And out of the door.

But good news is that you see those red lights in your head blinking since you got the courage and self-esteem to put out your life story out here. Online place with mix bag of characters which some would laugh, slag and make you doubt in yourself.

But you see is so easy for me to talk and advise you in this situation but I was stupidly blinded by love, dedication, still giving a chance, leap of faith, trust since I couldn't bare that when my ex's seen me in bad shape, depressed, going down to the rock bottom and me keep repeating the words that even for the worst enemy or worst evil Nazi of this world I couldn't go through and kept this fucked up minds games going. But she still did it till I was no use and fun anymore. You are in better position that I was cause you did already first step by growing a pair and ask total strangers online on forum for swingers where some people, close minded, followers without own personality bidding feelings, pretending and playing with a poker face or just thinking about themselves and how to gain anything in your misfortune. But like someone above mentioned position it is what we call it hook up no swing place. And for no drama just all the benefits of human intimate interaction. And you would get no hate and all the support on designated site for your most important private life decisions. But people care still. Take not only my advice start, start listening to strangers. Cause they would be honest with you without any secret self-interest and selfish agenda cause they are random strangers that probably you would never talk to or even ever meet again in your journey through life. Good luck clear your head start listen you your inner voice. You are not going mental, that is your conscience and common sense and don't ignore those blinking red light if something feels doggy cause could be "too good to be true"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xBelMorriganMan
over a year ago

Dublin

All the advice given so far is very helpful so definitely heed it. In general open relationships or polyamory can definitely work and I think if society accepted it as an option for relationships in general there would be less cheating. Though they only work if you and the person both actively want it for yourselves. If you're doing it for someone else, it will never work because it's coming from a space of negativity

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

She is ruining your mental health by all means get legal access to your kids but tell her no to everything else. You are heading for a mental breakdown if you keep giving in to her. Get your head sorted talk to a Councillor.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's for some, but not me.

If happily go swinging as part of a couple, but other than that I couldn't share someone I love with another romantic partner.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove2makeucum OP   Man
over a year ago

laois

Thanks again for all that been said I'll get there in the end and do what best and it clear now that's to stay away from her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adhatter and coCouple
over a year ago

Middle of mayo n peaceful tranquility

I really feel for you but you shouldn’t be posting this in the forums when she’s also on fab . It seems like she’s taking the piss as it is but If she reads this she knows she has you totally under her thumb . What she’s doing to you is emotionally abusive , this relationship won’t work , you’ll be unhappy waiting for scraps of affection from her and it will destroy you eventually.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Kerry and Dublin


"Hi so what u all think then of open relationship as I was with my ex for 7 years and on we have been slipt up over a year and she is now saying she what to be with me but only if we have a open relationship "

Open relationships can work but only if they are based on honesty, clear and open communication, and where both are looking for the same thing.

Having read your other posts, that doesn't sound like the relationship you have with this woman.

With the feelings you have for this woman, I can't see how getting back with her will be in any way healthy for you. Everytime she is with someone else it'll tear your heart out and it'll be detrimental to your mental health. And it sounds like she won't do anything to ensure you get your emotional needs met.

I'm polyamorous myself and don't think I could ever be in a monogamous relationship again, but we all experience similar emotions and I don't see how you get your emotional needs met in that situation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ettaManMan
over a year ago

Kerry and Dublin

Also OP, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this kind of situation. It's a horrible place to be but if you focus on your kids that will hopefully help you through.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ara198Woman
over a year ago

maynooth

Sorry you are having a difficult time. Get a counsellor, they will help you talk through your options, you have lots. Get a mediator to plan the sutuation with your children. Get a solicitor if this does not work. Good luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/01/22 00:25:25]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you follow the good advice given here Op and hope things work out but, please try and do one thing. Put some punctuation into your posts. Please

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *oodieMan
over a year ago

Mayo


"Well that that think I just think it's to make her life easier for her as she said like me to move back in just seem like she like to use me really I still love her so much that's the had thing been trying to move on and every time I think I'm getting somewhere and my head sorted out she seem to pull me back the fuck me away again so what to say she not goin to do the same i ask her dose she love me still and said no but I was to be with her I can't stop how I feel so it hard to be with someone u love and they don't ur give ur all and there just there to have fun and nothing more I'm truly at a my end

Why waste your life on someone who doesn't make you feel loved or valued?

My advise would be to cut contact and stop allowing her to mess with your head. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top