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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway

It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Teach your sons about consent, and call out your mates who make inappropriate comments.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I haven't had a male role model since I was 21 but even at that stage I was well aware of what was acceptable or not and have acted accordingly ever since.

My daughters have all trained in martial arts, not from any sense of self protection but because of the effect it had on their self confidence.

I have disciplined staff for inappropriate comments towards women within the company.

As a direct result, one of those "real men" decided to headbutt me in retaliation and immediately played the mental health card to avoid instant dismissal.

I've had to break up a fight between 2 staff members at a Christmas party because one of them was acting like a complete dick towards a black female waitress. The other guy got so angry over the sexual and racist comments and they came to blows and that spoke volumes about both characters.

I've been banned from a pub despite never having taken a drink in my life. A guy was making extremely inappropriate comments towards a woman in our group and when challenged he punched her so hard he knocked her out and I was one of 3 guys who were banned for jumping on him.

I've had all the conversations with my daughters and sisters, one of whom has 4 daughters of her own and none of them have ever experienced sexual or physical harassment so as a family we may have been lucky in that way.

My daughters have always been comfortable in male company and have as many male friends as they do female so that may well have worked in their favour as they are more often than not in mixed company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this conversation with my son yesterday. We ere listening to matt coopers show and he asked " what can a guy do" I said as above. Pull guys up on their behaviour and he said he would, bit he also said he is aware that if he our running or walking and comes up behind a woman on her own he makes noise or crosses the road, even when he worked in a retail store and if in the store room with a female on her own he was aware of his behaviour. I was so proud to hear this but also a wee bit heartbroken.

It reminds me of a night he was out and came home early, I knew something was wrong. When I asked he broke down, he had been out with a group of male and female friends and while chatting to some.of the group, he had politely touched one of the girls shoulder to get her attention. She jumped with the fright and her reaction. He was so upset over it.

I have avoided all the other threads posted so far but I actually can't stop crying and didn't sleep because of this. I also work I a job where I see the crap that goes on and it would shock people.if they know half of it.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

Last time I broke up a fight between a man and a woman... When my back was turned she hit me over the head with a bottle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For years I didn't drink so was always designated driver on nights out. So being sober I seen a lot. The amount of lads that would go out and actively hunt d*unk women was unbelievable. And terrifying. What was just as bad was when I'd say it to that d*unk person's friends to keep an eye on there mate the amount of times that I'd be told to fuck off and mind my own business. I'm ashamed to say that I no longer look out for stuff like that now. I look after my friends but stay out of it when it comes to strangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we need to bring back the idea of teaching boys to be gentlemen. Specifically Gentle Men. Not to mean that women are treated like 2nd class citizens but that, when it comes to women, you love them, you care for them, you treat them with proper respect and you protect them.

This is not implied in a sexist way AT ALL, that women can’t look after themselves, I’m in no way saying that (I was raised by a single mother) but implied that if more boys were taught the values of being gentle men and how to properly respect women then less of these horrible things will happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget any notions we have answers and listen.

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By *orkGuyFunGuyMan
over a year ago

Cork

Education is key, I have a few boys, and there training on what’s appropriate and consent etc started when they could talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else. "

Truly impressed to see this post on here and I hope the conversation that comes from it allows the men who might not have already been aware of this come to understand things from a female perspective and want to do what they can to help end male violence.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forget any notions we have answers and listen. "

So key.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

[Removed by poster at 17/01/22 13:54:36]

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Down by the canal

Her teaching all done

An ordinary thing,

She went for a run

.

Two decades, three years

Bright as the sun

Life was just starting,

She went for a run

.

Down by the canal

The headlines now stun

Another womans life,

She went for a run

.

They'll blame the "man"

He had problems you see

Sorry, not good enough

The problem is WE

.

Raise our boys better

Call our friends out

Don't let them whistle

Don't let them shout

.

A stranger did this

But we're part of the blame

No more excuses

Put them to shame

.

Sisters, friends

Mothers, aunts

They keep on dying

At random, by chance

.

Hold to account

The toxicity

Refuse to be a part

It's complicity

.

Her name was Ashling

Not long ago 21

Now asleep forever

She went for a run

.

Down by the canal

She will teach everyone

A reminder eternal

She went for a run

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Down by the canal

Her teaching all done

An ordinary thing,

She went for a run

.

Two decades, three years

Bright as the sun

Life was just starting,

She went for a run

.

Down by the canal

The headlines now stun

Another womans life,

She went for a run

.

They'll blame the "man"

He had problems you see

Sorry, not good enough

The problem is WE

.

Raise our boys better

Call our friends out

Don't let them whistle

Don't let them shout

.

A stranger did this

But we're part of the blame

No more excuses

Put them to shame

.

Sisters, friends

Mothers, aunts

They keep on dying

At random, by chance

.

Hold to account

The toxicity

Refuse to be a part

It's complicity

.

Her name was Ashling

Not long ago 21

Now asleep forever

She went for a run

.

Down by the canal

She will teach everyone

A reminder eternal

She went for a run

"

Impressive.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *elfastStudMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else. "

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

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By *usietranslutTV/TS
over a year ago

carlow

There is much too much tolerance (or looking the other way) of aggressive male behaviour across the board in modern society. An awful lot of this is against women but it is also against a whole range of sectors - the old, the young, the vulnerable, weaker peers, public transport passengers etc etc. And the sad thing is that most men won’t intervene and call out these bullies. This only empowers them and encourages repeat and more brazen behaviour as they know they will likely get away with it. Drugs are often a factor and probably explicit degrading to women porn. Men need to step up to the mark and challenge these types who will mostly be cowards anyway.

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By *oolpinstripeMan
over a year ago

Kildare

I was in a local petrol station over the weekend... a group of young girls came in, dolled up to the nines, flesh and tattoos exposed, stocked up on drinks went outside. When I went out a few cars pulled up, full of young fellas, roaring and shouting about what they would and wouldn’t do to the girls... after the girls roared back their equally colorful responses, they all piled into the cars and roared off in a cloud of DPF blocked exhaust and a Chuck D soundtrack.... seems like there is a long way to go yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This wonderful rock and roll world we live in for all its beauty and amazing adventures, can be a dangerous place for both men and women. Everytime we leave the relative safety of our homes whether it's going to the local supermarket or backpacking across Asia and Australia, we knowingly take a small risk and play the odds that everything will work out fine.

Hopefully the sick and twisted individual who killed Aisling Murphy will be apprehended by the Garda very soon, and punished to the full extent of the law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we are going to stop male Violence as easily as getting parents to tell there kids right from wrong shouldn’t we get both Genders to stop violence when we are at it.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

"

I laughed out loud when I heard that..

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

I laughed out loud when I heard that.. "

Whats funny about a man live on zoom wanking to women and children

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

There will never be an end to male violence.. Men are hard wired to be violent its a primal urge.. We evolved from apes where only the strongest and most aggressive survived and got a chance to perpetuate our species.. If there were no aggressive men we as a species would die out.. Testosterone keeps the human race alive and its responsible for violence plain and simple.. Ask any feminist why men r***e and they will say its all about power and control.. Its not its about passing on their dna and getting the chance to procreate..

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

I laughed out loud when I heard that..

Whats funny about a man live on zoom wanking to women and children

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

"

My initial reaction was to laugh but when you put it like that it's not funny..

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *elfastStudMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

I laughed out loud when I heard that.. "

What the fuck is wrong with you?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

I laughed out loud when I heard that..

What the fuck is wrong with you?"

See answer above

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I , I ,I ,I ,

So much bullshit.

The world is fucked up, if you started being nicer to each other and trying to understand each other it would be a good start.

Don't just pull your male friends up explain why it's wrong and ask them why they didn't notice. Just like the post above , CG explained he didn't see it as bad at first .

A person got murdered, a woman yes but it doesn't mean we need to start a women v men argument every time.

OP you obviously have been affected by this and are savouring the discussions, do you think this is a good way to get the point across, or is it just causing division?

I think everyone agrees there is a problem and education is the answer but how to ?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *13_hercMan
over a year ago

Blackrock

Absolutely.

While there is no getting away from the tragedy of this crime it is also a fact that 77% of those murdered are male, and 59% of assaults are against males. Neither gender is unique in their fear of walking down a dark street at night, or of thinking defensively when it comes to traveling on their own. this is not an issue for one gender, it is an issue for all of us, both men and women, and it needs to be tackled by both genders and not held up as a uniquely male issue. Aggression takes many forms. We should be looking to address aggression in all it's guises and not just the, thankfully, relatively rare horrific crimes such as this particular murder.

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

Sigh.

Ah well.

It started off promising…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sigh.

Ah well.

It started off promising…"

Just talk to people who agree with you then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

This applies to stopping your mates slagging of women in a demeaning or derogatory fashion.

It also applies to speaking up when you think something or someone is wrong.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Absolutely.

While there is no getting away from the tragedy of this crime it is also a fact that 77% of those murdered are male, and 59% of assaults are against males. Neither gender is unique in their fear of walking down a dark street at night, or of thinking defensively when it comes to traveling on their own. this is not an issue for one gender, it is an issue for all of us, both men and women, and it needs to be tackled by both genders and not held up as a uniquely male issue. Aggression takes many forms. We should be looking to address aggression in all it's guises and not just the, thankfully, relatively rare horrific crimes such as this particular murder. "

Of your suggesting the fear is somehow equal then you either don't know any women or you don't pray any heed to them. I regularly walk across the local park at night to visit family who live in the other side. My wife and daughters would be reluctant to walk that way even in daytime, and that's based on their past experience.

Yeah, men get assaulted and murdered but it's never gender based. Women get assaulted simply because they're women. It's also worth pointing out that the verbal stuff that goes over men's heads may terrify a lot of women and its an assault in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else.

I seen this afternoon that an online vigil for Ashling was hijacked by an uninvited man with a username impersonating another woman on the call, and he proceeded to masturbate on camera. One of the vilest things I have ever read. So depressing that there are still so many depraved sickos out there who would stoop so low

I laughed out loud when I heard that..

Whats funny about a man live on zoom wanking to women and children

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

"

He doesn't care. He just wants his reaction so he can feel better about the whole thing triggering him and his idiotic opinions.

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"Absolutely.

While there is no getting away from the tragedy of this crime it is also a fact that 77% of those murdered are male, and 59% of assaults are against males. Neither gender is unique in their fear of walking down a dark street at night, or of thinking defensively when it comes to traveling on their own. this is not an issue for one gender, it is an issue for all of us, both men and women, and it needs to be tackled by both genders and not held up as a uniquely male issue. Aggression takes many forms. We should be looking to address aggression in all it's guises and not just the, thankfully, relatively rare horrific crimes such as this particular murder. "

Who is it that commits 90% of those crimes against men?

Men. Male violence.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"Absolutely.

While there is no getting away from the tragedy of this crime it is also a fact that 77% of those murdered are male, and 59% of assaults are against males. Neither gender is unique in their fear of walking down a dark street at night, or of thinking defensively when it comes to traveling on their own. this is not an issue for one gender, it is an issue for all of us, both men and women, and it needs to be tackled by both genders and not held up as a uniquely male issue. Aggression takes many forms. We should be looking to address aggression in all it's guises and not just the, thankfully, relatively rare horrific crimes such as this particular murder.

Who is it that commits 90% of those crimes against men?

Men. Male violence. "

Testosterone plain and simple.. Unless you propose we castrate every male that would sort out the problem of male violence it would also ensure the eradication of our species

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I , I ,I ,I ,

So much bullshit.

The world is fucked up, if you started being nicer to each other and trying to understand each other it would be a good start.

Don't just pull your male friends up explain why it's wrong and ask them why they didn't notice. Just like the post above , CG explained he didn't see it as bad at first .

A person got murdered, a woman yes but it doesn't mean we need to start a women v men argument every time.

OP you obviously have been affected by this and are savouring the discussions, do you think this is a good way to get the point across, or is it just causing division?

I think everyone agrees there is a problem and education is the answer but how to ?

"

Savouring the discussions? Not exactly. My only hope is that one or two men who have read it speak to the other men around them about what is not acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

"

I see this line of thinking used time and time again in these kinds of discussion and while I appreciate that it’s well intentioned, it saddens me that we have to resort to it.

You shouldn’t only care if it’s concerning someone you’re related to/attracted to. You should care about women and view every one of them as humans deserving of respect without qualifiers, full stop.

Think about it.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

I think women shouldn't go out in public when they are ovulating because of the pheromones and those rutting testosterone filled walking ball bags just won't be able to resist.

Those pesky hormones forcing mem to attack and force themselves on women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember many years ago I got involved is a rather heated domestic with a young couple. He was being verbally abusive to her. It was directly outside a chip shop as I remember a young lad was sweeping the steps of the takeaway. When I stepped in to the argument this moron who was abusive grabbed the brush of the lad from the chipper & hit me a crack with it. I remember the girl took his hand & led him away. I remember being disappointed that she chisr to go with him. I suppose she was under his control. So I suppose as a consequence I've always been reluctant to get involved if I ever saw a similar incident. To this day I've never seen a similar incident but I now know after what happened Aisling we all need to step forward to end this brutal regime of control & violence some men hold over ladies. Its shameful & disgusting that society allows this to continue. Its not challenged enough

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

I see this line of thinking used time and time again in these kinds of discussion and while I appreciate that it’s well intentioned, it saddens me that we have to resort to it.

You shouldn’t only care if it’s concerning someone you’re related to/attracted to. You should care about women and view every one of them as humans deserving of respect without qualifiers, full stop.

Think about it. "

Here here I agree.. Its a as long as its not in my back yard way of thinking..

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

I see this line of thinking used time and time again in these kinds of discussion and while I appreciate that it’s well intentioned, it saddens me that we have to resort to it.

You shouldn’t only care if it’s concerning someone you’re related to/attracted to. You should care about women and view every one of them as humans deserving of respect without qualifiers, full stop.

Think about it.

Here here I agree.. Its a as long as its not in my back yard way of thinking.. "

I used language that you could understand and relate to as you dont care about strangers

It hit you and you said sorry when it was put like that

Then when it was pointed out that it shouldn't take me saying something like that to get you to say sorry.....you blame me on not in my backyard type of thinking ....did you break your neck doing an about turn so quickly

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"

Would you think it funny if it was your child or partner or mother watching

I see this line of thinking used time and time again in these kinds of discussion and while I appreciate that it’s well intentioned, it saddens me that we have to resort to it.

You shouldn’t only care if it’s concerning someone you’re related to/attracted to. You should care about women and view every one of them as humans deserving of respect without qualifiers, full stop.

Think about it.

Here here I agree.. Its a as long as its not in my back yard way of thinking..

I used language that you could understand and relate to as you dont care about strangers

It hit you and you said sorry when it was put like that

Then when it was pointed out that it shouldn't take me saying something like that to get you to say sorry.....you blame me on not in my backyard type of thinking ....did you break your neck doing an about turn so quickly

"

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City


"Sigh.

Ah well.

It started off promising…

Just talk to people who agree with you then "

No that’s boring. But seeing men spout such predictable responses such as “it’s natural” is just pig disgusting.

The fact that so many men on this thread don’t pull other up on their disgusting comments is indicatives of the low intellect bar I’ve seen in the last few days on here.

Shocking but not surprising.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Sigh.

Ah well.

It started off promising…

Just talk to people who agree with you then

No that’s boring. But seeing men spout such predictable responses such as “it’s natural” is just pig disgusting.

The fact that so many men on this thread don’t pull other up on their disgusting comments is indicatives of the low intellect bar I’ve seen in the last few days on here.

Shocking but not surprising. "

Wait... Are you suggesting that those of us who choose not to feed the trolls are of low intellect?

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in. "

I know who Aidan is.. Why was their no public outcry after his death.. Maybe its because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved in the gaa or he didn't play traditional Irish music.. Dare I say his life must have been worth less than the lady who died in tullamore?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in. "

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By *on Draper2.0Man
over a year ago

Maynooth


"It’s interesting that each of the threads about the murder of Aisling Murphy was started by a male. My question is, what are you doing to help end male violence?

Women know that not all men are violent towards women. However, we don’t know which men will be. Women have been given a list of things they should and shouldn’t do - you’ve all heard them: don’t walk at night on your own, carry your keys in your hand, have earphones in but no music on so you can hear someone coming up behind you etc etc

You might be wondering what you can do.

If you’re in a lads WhatsApp group and there are explicit photos of women being shared or women being referred to as bitches, sluts, whores, cunts etc call your friends out on it. Tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re walking down a street and see a woman being harassed, intervene. Ask if she’s ok and if she wants your help.

If you hear someone catcalling tell them it’s not acceptable.

If you’re on a night out and a guy is grabbing a woman’s ass, report it to security.

Speak to your sons/brothers/friends/nephews/dads/uncles and all the other men in your life about the importance of consent and that speaking in derogatory ways about women is not acceptable.

From a fab point of view, don’t send a dick pic in your first message unless it’s asked for in a profile.

Don’t refer to r@pe and murder as violence against women. It’s male violence (99% of the time).

Stop paying lip service when something like this happens and start helping to change the culture around you.

If you read this and feel the urge to comment “not all men” please don’t. Please go somewhere else. "

I have to say it...

This is one of the best pieces of writing I've seen on this sad subject. I don't always see your point of view but here, you offer progress and a way to improve things. You don't look to blame anyone. Without going into motivations or the mental illness aspect, we all know this sort of thing will be done by men against women 99% of the time simply because men are generally bigger and stronger. I think that being a role model and showing others how to behave, especially our sons, is the most significant thing a man can do to help. Just as you've said J

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Anywhere


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

"
And no public outcry about an innocent man Michael Tormey shot dead outside his home in Dublin while his wife and child slept in their beds. All lives are equal. Im not a voilent person nor am I a misogynist and also I dont take kindly to be told that if any of us men on here say all men are not like that, that we should'nt post on this thread. l dont need anyone to categorise me. l find it deeply upsetting what happened to Aishling as l find it deeply upsetting what happened to other innocent people in this country of ours.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

And no public outcry about an innocent man Michael Tormey shot dead outside his home in Dublin while his wife and child slept in their beds. All lives are equal. Im not a voilent person nor am I a misogynist and also I dont take kindly to be told that if any of us men on here say all men are not like that, that we should'nt post on this thread. l dont need anyone to categorise me. l find it deeply upsetting what happened to Aishling as l find it deeply upsetting what happened to other innocent people in this country of ours."

Percisely the point I was making

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Segregated education, on the basis of gender or religious affiliation must end; and consent, civility, respect, etc, needs to be a core part of the curriculum.

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"Segregated education, on the basis of gender or religious affiliation must end; and consent, civility, respect, etc, needs to be a core part of the curriculum."

I agree with this but education starts at home. You don't wait until your child is in school to start teaching them right from wrong.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 18/01/22 08:09:37]

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

And no public outcry about an innocent man Michael Tormey shot dead outside his home in Dublin while his wife and child slept in their beds. All lives are equal. Im not a voilent person nor am I a misogynist and also I dont take kindly to be told that if any of us men on here say all men are not like that, that we should'nt post on this thread. l dont need anyone to categorise me. l find it deeply upsetting what happened to Aishling as l find it deeply upsetting what happened to other innocent people in this country of ours."

I havent actually heard anyone on this thread (or anywhere else) saying that all men are like that. Noone is categorising you. There really is no need to get upset on behalf of all men just because some men assault and kill women.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"Percisely the point I was making "

..with all the skill of a toilet training toddler, dropping turds at every turn.

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

What about the women that assault men and sometimes kill them where is the out cry from them...and yes it does happen more than ya think... I've seen a woman literally beat a lad with her heel and stabbed him with it also broke his nose and he never once fought back cause according to him he was tought never to hit a woman... Yes its good to be tought never hit women but also should be tought to defend them self aslo against violent women..

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

the problem in this situation is you'll never stop lunatics fully. you have them in all forms of life. I can only speak for myself but I respect women 100 %. when on a night out you can chat to women in a way without it been derogatory. if she's not interested or has a bf/ husband walk away. if a lad Is hassling a woman on her own, intervene, ask her is she OK. its not rocket science to treat people with respect but unfortunately like with everything you'll never get everybody doing it.

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Anywhere


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

And no public outcry about an innocent man Michael Tormey shot dead outside his home in Dublin while his wife and child slept in their beds. All lives are equal. Im not a voilent person nor am I a misogynist and also I dont take kindly to be told that if any of us men on here say all men are not like that, that we should'nt post on this thread. l dont need anyone to categorise me. l find it deeply upsetting what happened to Aishling as l find it deeply upsetting what happened to other innocent people in this country of ours.

I havent actually heard anyone on this thread (or anywhere else) saying that all men are like that. Noone is categorising you. There really is no need to get upset on behalf of all men just because some men assault and kill women."
Read last paragraph of original post. Told not to use "all men are not like that" That's the point l was making.

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"One of the most telling lines in the poem posted above is "at random, by chance".

This could happen anytime and anywhere without rhyme or reason and no amount of dick measuring on here will ever change that.

All we ever get following a horrific incident like this are people who claim to have all the answers and others who have answers to different questions.

I lived through a generation of needless lives taken by people who were too fucking ignorant and stubborn to count to ten, take a deep breath and admit they might all actually have something in common instead of pointing fingers.

I'm angry because Ashling Murphy lost her life for no reason at all.

I'm angry that Aidan Mann lost his life in Downpatrick a week earlier in broad daylight

I'm angry that most people on here will now have to google Aidan Mann because they've never heard of him.

I'm angry that one life is seen as more important than another or their loss is more of a watershed moment than the other.

Grow up ffs and start admitting that we are all to blame for the blinkers we wear half the time and the selective arguments we choose to get involved in.

And no public outcry about an innocent man Michael Tormey shot dead outside his home in Dublin while his wife and child slept in their beds. All lives are equal. Im not a voilent person nor am I a misogynist and also I dont take kindly to be told that if any of us men on here say all men are not like that, that we should'nt post on this thread. l dont need anyone to categorise me. l find it deeply upsetting what happened to Aishling as l find it deeply upsetting what happened to other innocent people in this country of ours.

I havent actually heard anyone on this thread (or anywhere else) saying that all men are like that. Noone is categorising you. There really is no need to get upset on behalf of all men just because some men assault and kill women. Read last paragraph of original post. Told not to use "all men are not like that" That's the point l was making."

If you don’t understand why the phrase “not all men” is not helpful, go do some reading about it

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"Percisely the point I was making

..with all the skill of a toilet training toddler, dropping turds at every turn."

Poo poo

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act. "

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician

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By *ed just RedWoman
over a year ago

Dublin City

[Removed by poster at 18/01/22 19:33:49]

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician "

He was killed by a man. More male violence.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician "
the question is how do we stop these attacks occurring? unfortunately I don't think we can .

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician

He was killed by a man. More male violence. "

And women are saints?

Please have some perspective on this...

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician the question is how do we stop these attacks occurring? unfortunately I don't think we can ."

Never as I said before men are hard wired to be violent due to the effects of testosterone..

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"I didn't even realise until today that a man was murdered Friday night in donegal, albeit I was away until Sunday night. another terrible despicable act.

And not a word about it maybe because he wasn't a teacher.. He wasn't involved with gaa or he wasn't an Irish musician

He was killed by a man. More male violence.

And women are saints?

Please have some perspective on this... "

I have plenty of perspective. Thanks for your advice though

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By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

Please stop feeding the troll (CG). As his profile states, hes only here for the forums so he sees inflammatory, degrading and stupid contributions on various forums as a way of getting the attention (notoriety) he's obviously missing elsewhere. His point on testosterone in all men = violence in all men is simplistic beyond any sort of sense.

And he obviously isnt here to actually meet or he'd wind his neck in for his cock's sake

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By *affa31 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Galway


"Please stop feeding the troll (CG). As his profile states, hes only here for the forums so he sees inflammatory, degrading and stupid contributions on various forums as a way of getting the attention (notoriety) he's obviously missing elsewhere. His point on testosterone in all men = violence in all men is simplistic beyond any sort of sense.

And he obviously isnt here to actually meet or he'd wind his neck in for his cock's sake"

You’d think the mods would do something about it wouldn’t you?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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