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Depressed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Well done on reaching out....its always better to talk

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By *ondalingerMan
over a year ago

City center

Much love for reaching out, my pm is open for chats.

Perhaps try put a lil bit more personality into your profile. Worth a try

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Well now you've come to the right place, get involved on the forum threads & you'll soon be part of the furniture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends as adults is always tricky. People move on, move away...circles are always evolving as life and circumstances change, and I don't think you're alone in feeling a bit at sea when it comes to friends.

It might take a bit of bravery on your part, and as clichéd as it may sound, perhaps some life enrichment might help. Is there an activity or hobby you enjoy that you can get involved in, clubs or societies you could join, could you perhaps volunteer for a charity?

Don't isolate yourself and remember to keep reaching out

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Private messaging is a total waste of time as you have discovered. The forums are far better craic, just have a tough skin and don't take things personally. Join in the fun and you will start to enjoy it and make connections

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

The forums are good alright

There is a whole list of stuff to do when you’re a bit down and not at a level which needs professional help

Mindfulness, gratitude lists, yoga , local walking groups , the list goes on

If you want to meet people without risk of rejection something like volunteering might be really good

It’s a way of helping others , feeling connected , increasing your self worth and socialising

You’re writing in early January . It’s a tough time of the year . In 6 weeks you may just feel better naturally

Best of luck

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Reaching out when you are feeling low is the first and best step to take.

It is good to talk, to feel heard and appreciated.

Whereas this is supposed to be a swinging site where friendships are formed, many use it for more casual encounters. Whatever you signed up for, it is the nature of the site with the ratio of men to women that the women have the luxury of choice. If you don't fit their criteria, they will not answer for the most part because this is their way of letting suitors know that they are not interested as per site guidelines. It is very easy to be disappointed here with a male profile and you may need to reconsider your expectations and/or motives!

I would suggest that if you are struggling with low mood and/or loneliness that you find support groups (if there are no family or friends around you who may be understanding), groups who get together with a mutual interest (like hiking) or seek professional help. There are many different helplines. I believe a thread was recently posted with some numbers if you do a search.

I wish you well in the hope that you get active in finding the necessary help outside of Fab.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help"

I wouldn't suggest fab as a place to make or find friends of anything I suspect being a single guy on fab could feel like a lonely place.

Why not find or join local groups outside of fab.

Amateur dramatics etc lots of groups out there

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By *eathlad89Man
over a year ago

kells

Fab is a lonely spot for single man. Im always polite and yet still never get a reply..

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By *ralking14Man
over a year ago

city

Funny enough

I’ve always been polite , genuinely

This past week I’ve told two women that they were ignorant cows for not replying

Guess what

Both replied ……and conversation flowed

I give up

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help"

Ring the samaritans they won't judge just listen

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Funny enough

I’ve always been polite , genuinely

This past week I’ve told two women that they were ignorant cows for not replying

Guess what

Both replied ……and conversation flowed

I give up "

Just so you know your photo is on the internet and someone else is claiming it as theirs.

You might look into it in case its stolen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Funny enough

I’ve always been polite , genuinely

This past week I’ve told two women that they were ignorant cows for not replying

Guess what

Both replied ……and conversation flowed

I give up

Just so you know your photo is on the internet and someone else is claiming it as theirs.

You might look into it in case its stolen "

And it watermarked and everything

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By *adhatter and coCouple
over a year ago

Middle of mayo n peaceful tranquility

Your post makes me feel so sad .Do you think a visit to your GP might be a good idea and discuss the possibility of antidepressants for a little while ? Big hugs your way very brave post xx

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By *eathlad89Man
over a year ago

kells

I seen this. Lads been total dickheads and abusive and they getting replies. Case of treat them mean keep them keen

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I seen this. Lads been total dickheads and abusive and they getting replies. Case of treat them mean keep them keen "

Ye I'm sure that works well for them alright

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Op fab is tough for single men and if you are finding it is making you feel worse maybe take a break.

Well done for reaching out and I hope you get the help you are looking for.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help"

Take a long walk, call the helpline, take up a new hobby, I know it’s not easy, sometimes getting into a more positive mindset helps. Also removing people who don’t appreciate your friendship will help also.

Keep positive don’t give up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP that sounds terrible.

I do notice your other posts on here were of a similar nature woth slightly different details.

But you then didn't even engage with anyone who replied.

Perhaps put yourself out there and people might be a little mote receptive than you think.

It might also help remove some doubt that this may be a slightly manipulative tactic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done for reaching out.

As someone else as adults its definitely a bit harder to make new friends but it's possible.

Look up local groups like men's shed offer great support.

Get involved in the forums here even just to chat about random things it can help on a quiet night or if you feeling lonely.

One thing I have learned over the last year what people post on their social media is a highlight reel, the good bits you don't see the bad bits.

Chat to your doctor and if you need further support they will guide you in the direction of support.

And why not reach out to one or two friends and just tell them you are struggling a bit you be very surprised at your is there to help you.

If you ever need to chat can pm me.

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By *ork ClassCouple
over a year ago

Cork

If you want a friend buy a dog .

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By *eebawMan
over a year ago

.

Keep the head up op. Try find things that make you happy. Theres many help lines to chat to people. Maybe join some the dating apps theres a part on bumble that allows you to just find friends . Keep taking it day by day. Fab can be a nasty spot if your not in a good head space

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By *ARRYGOODMan
over a year ago

Leixlip

Should try night classes in your local hall or school,(maybe not on during Pandemic), but you might find a subject that would interest you.You can have classes or clubs on carpentry,basic computers, photography, etc.

Good luck and stay positive and strong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suffered with depression for the majority of my life. Have gone to and past the edge on a few occasions. It's not easy going through life feeling like this but it can be done. I'm lucky enough to have come out the other side. All I can say is keep going. Easier said than done I know but there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you can keep walking through the dark long enough

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By *umon337Man
over a year ago

Offaly

Well done for opening up about the way you're feeling OP.

I've been through the mental health mill too and there is loads of very good advice from the respondents to this thread.

I would recommend going to your GP because there isn't one simple remedy for good mental health.

I went to my gp and she got me started with some counselling, also my employer had an employee assistance programme which also gave mental health advice. I'd also suggest many of the guided meditation and mindfulness video on youtube and there are some very good apps available too, they can be very useful for sustaining goodmental health.

As you can see from the range of suggestions in this thread, there isn't one solution because we are all individuals and, as they say, there's nowt as queer as folk.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

If you feel so utterly disconnected from everyone, it might be best to seek professional help, in the form of some professional counselling, to identify the root cause of these connected issues.

Additionally, get an active dog, if you like dogs, and get out walking.

Volunteer to assist others, less fortunate than you.

Start trying to connect with people and get feedback from them, after an introductory period.

Join in the forums on this site; you've only been a member for a brief time.

Reactivate your Facebook and other social media accounts.

Finally, visit your GP and ask to be sent to see a professional person.

There are loads of options

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have good days and bad days buddy. Depression is no joke I've suffered from it from a young age and still do. Fair play for reaching out takes alot of courage to do so. I'd highly recommend talking to someone professional it really does work and that's coming from a very deep person. Go for walks exercise is a great help to clear your mind. Give social media a break for a few weeks even months of it helps you. I'll pm you my number of you ever wanna chat txt anytime just let me no if you want it. Your better off away from that group if they treat you like that they aren't worth your company at all you deserve better. Go out start talking to other people just have to confidence in yourself to do so. Head up everyday is a new day.when you hit rock bottom the only way is up trust me on this. Mind yourself bud and don't be too harsh on yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time of year tends to accentuate any negative feelings. This is a phase you’re living through and things will get better. I would talk to someone, either a GP or a helpline. From my experience things will never be as bad as they seem now and tomorrow is another day, to make a fresh start. I found I got a lot from doing charity work and helping others but I know that’s not for everyone. Best of luck ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/22 01:54:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This time of year tends to accentuate any negative feelings. This is a phase you’re living through and things will get better. I would talk to someone, either a GP or a helpline. From my experience things will never be as bad as they seem now and tomorrow is another day, to make a fresh start. I found I got a lot from doing charity work and helping others but I know that’s not for everyone. Best of luck ??"

Depression isn't just a PHASE!! Especially for some people as they live with it everyday everyone is different!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This time of year tends to accentuate any negative feelings. This is a phase you’re living through and things will get better. I would talk to someone, either a GP or a helpline. From my experience things will never be as bad as they seem now and tomorrow is another day, to make a fresh start. I found I got a lot from doing charity work and helping others but I know that’s not for everyone. Best of luck ??"

Depression isn't just a PHASE!! Especially for some people as they live with it everyday everyone is different!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op I understand . I've always had an introverted side though if you asked people, they may tell you the opposite. I didn't keep the school going friends as i along with them changed and matured and went on our varied paths in life.

Throughout my working life I've met some decent people but not any i would class as a friend.

Independent sports have helped me in getting out there. A sport you can partake on your own but where there is a community of like minded individuals. If you're doing it, the common interest will provide interactions and lead to possible friendships.

At 38 i can say , i have my family and 2 close friends. Not much but life can be good.

Fair play for opening up and i hope this new year brings you something uplifting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play for coming out and saying how u feel, always the biggest step is admitting to it, maybe go see your doc initially and set the ball rolling there for help, try get in on forums ere as private messaging on here can be tough for any man seen as the women have so many of us messaging them but in your private life maybe try find a club to join locally whether it be a gym or sports club, drama or whatever else even a community alert or tidy towns just to get you out meeting other people locally, your definitely not alone with how your feeling so as hard as it might be getting yourself out there and seen in your own area will help you as you will definitely bmeet like minded people, best of luck op and if you do need a chat drop a message

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By *lose_encounterMan
over a year ago

Cork city


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help"

get that head up for a start Dude. I'm speaking as a person whom at one time was a mind that wanted to die trapped in a body that wants to live. if I may judge a little by your post. there may be a chance you come across as to intense. causing others to back off etc. because they don't understand you.

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Try interacting with the people commenting that want to support and encourage you.

This is your 4th post in the same vein and you've not commented further on any of them.

It is great that you are reaching out if you need it, I hope you follow through.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Try interacting with the people commenting that want to support and encourage you.

This is your 4th post in the same vein and you've not commented further on any of them.

It is great that you are reaching out if you need it, I hope you follow through."

exactly I checked the green arrow last night and thought the same thing.

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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help"

Been there and done that.

Don't fixate on other people and think your happiness depends on them. You come off as needy and filled with self pity.

The true path to happiness is to be able to be happy in yourself, content with your conditions, and understanding that you don't really need to fill your life with company or new toys or constant entertainment.

We are self aware stardust, just another species that's advanced to the point where we've gotten lost in our own imagined society, completely forgetting the fact that we're only a few thousand years out of a hunter gatherer lifestyle where society was just communicating with our tribe as we all struggled for survival.

Humanity has its problems, but it's no wonder. Look how far we've come in such a short time.

This is my cure for depression. Look at the big picture and realise that a lot of what we all seem to think is important these days just doesn't matter at all.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help

Been there and done that.

Don't fixate on other people and think your happiness depends on them. You come off as needy and filled with self pity.

The true path to happiness is to be able to be happy in yourself, content with your conditions, and understanding that you don't really need to fill your life with company or new toys or constant entertainment.

We are self aware stardust, just another species that's advanced to the point where we've gotten lost in our own imagined society, completely forgetting the fact that we're only a few thousand years out of a hunter gatherer lifestyle where society was just communicating with our tribe as we all struggled for survival.

Humanity has its problems, but it's no wonder. Look how far we've come in such a short time.

This is my cure for depression. Look at the big picture and realise that a lot of what we all seem to think is important these days just doesn't matter at all."

..

Just like that.. We are less than a spec of dust in the universe so our problems are even less than that..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can message me I’ll chat to you

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By *ondalingerMan
over a year ago

City center

I think you could start by replying to some of the advice in your post

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"I think you could start by replying to some of the advice in your post "

He never does,he creates threads,all about the same thing and never replies...all on the green arrow

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By *lose_encounterMan
over a year ago

Cork city

hmmm....i'm wondering now. so..this is not the first such post?...nor ever responds?

i'm wondering if its pity pussy he's looking for.

if it's the case.

buddy. that makes you a very manipulative person

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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun


"Hi All,

I'm so depressed lately as I never made friends when I went to school, college or in the workplace. I turned off my Facebook profile in June 2020 as everyone I thought I knew had invited each other to their weddings and I was left out. It upsets me so much that no one condiders me as their friend as I was recently in a group photo and all I could see was my face replaced with someone else. It hurts so much to think that people can be so cruel.

I joined this site to find friends but to no avail, no one bothers to reply to me.

Please help

Been there and done that.

Don't fixate on other people and think your happiness depends on them. You come off as needy and filled with self pity.

The true path to happiness is to be able to be happy in yourself, content with your conditions, and understanding that you don't really need to fill your life with company or new toys or constant entertainment.

We are self aware stardust, just another species that's advanced to the point where we've gotten lost in our own imagined society, completely forgetting the fact that we're only a few thousand years out of a hunter gatherer lifestyle where society was just communicating with our tribe as we all struggled for survival.

Humanity has its problems, but it's no wonder. Look how far we've come in such a short time.

This is my cure for depression. Look at the big picture and realise that a lot of what we all seem to think is important these days just doesn't matter at all.

..

Just like that.. We are less than a spec of dust in the universe so our problems are even less than that.. "

For the vast majority of the earth's existence, we didn't exist. We've been here just a fraction of it's lifetime, and in just 6000 years since we started really working as civilisations, we've come so far, and even coming close to reaching the proper space age. I don't think our civilisation will survive to the point that we start colonising the stars, as I'm fairly confident this is our last century where we can continue focusing on growth above all.

It really humbles you, and makes you recognise that all of what we see as pure normal life is so underappreciated and also not hugely important at all when you really think about things.

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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun


"hmmm....i'm wondering now. so..this is not the first such post?...nor ever responds?

i'm wondering if its pity pussy he's looking for.

if it's the case.

buddy. that makes you a very manipulative person "

I honestly think it's the same. I've had my issues, and also joined here years back as just a way of making friends, but there's very little conversation from him.

Just posts asking for attention, and hoping someone will feel bad enough for him that they'll meet.

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By *ant111Man
over a year ago

Dublin 6

I think mr bond wannabe is taking the piss here

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Using a swingers site to find friends is, well, deeply flawed.

Finger's crossed someone will just ride the OP so we don't have to put up with anymore of these poxy threads.

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By *ant111Man
over a year ago

Dublin 6

He does seem to be into the old watersports in fairness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to your GP and tell them you feel bad. Beat to get the ball rolling on talking to someone.

Time to take up your hobbies or find a new one. Meet people with common interests. Enjoy yourself, when you start having fun and grow in confidence, you’ll be better placed to make friends and be a better friend too.

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