FabSwingers.com forum: No Shows..

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

Christ it's frustrating when the person you're waiting on not only doesn't weigh in, but doesn't even text to say they won't/can't make it.

So, honesty time! Has anyone here performed a no show on a meet? And are there any valid circumstances for not communicating that it wasn't happening?

(and yes, it happened to me today, hence the retaliatory indignant form topic)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

I’ve never pulled a no show…it’s a horrible thing to do to someone.

There are no excuses for it imo unless you’ve been in an accident on the way to a meet I guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

Let's make it humorous. What's the best/funniest reason you can come up with for doing a vanishing act?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Can honestly say I've never been a no show or had a no show.

The closest was someone forgetting we had arranged to meet when I texted to confirm so that didn't happen.

Another who was too busy at work but I had already worked out she wouldn't be there due to her silence that day. She cancelled an hour before we were to meet but I was already halfway home from work so I don't class that as a no show.

The veri she displayed the next morning which actually named the coffee shop we were to meet in was a different kettle of fish. I often wonder how she would have dealt with that situation if I had been there along with the other guy she had booked in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ara198Woman
over a year ago

maynooth

Ah it's not nice to not show up. A text is simple. We can all change our minds and a text covers this. I do think if there was silence all day of a meet that's an indication also.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its such a crap and disrespectful thing to do to anyone. I just think we are adults, cop on and have manners and just text the person.

I've has a few and each time I do wonder is it my fault but now I just thing jog on mate your loss, even if we wouldn't be needing again, it's a cup of coffee and a laugh.

Sorry to hear you were stood up x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined fab I got a non show twice in a row!!

Communication right up to the time agreed and then nothing.

He came back the next day with some story and I believed him as I was very naive

After he left me in a non show for the 2nd time and this time in a hotel room I wised up!!

Lesson learnt lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never not turned up but had it happen a fair bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've never not shown for a meet if I say I will then I show up. I've not had someone not show either. I did have someone go very quiet on the day we were to meet when I messaged to confirm he didn't answer so I cancelled it.

Like said above someone going quiet on the day is usually a sign they won't show .There's no excuse really for it as it's takes a few seconds to send a message cancelling.Real life situations where someone can't send a text are few and far between.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avon1981Man
over a year ago

Letterkenny

Yeah has happened twice to me from a different site.

Its so disheartening especially after lots of chats and video calls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onesome swingerMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It has never happened to me. Touch wood it doesn't happen in the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago

Dublin west

Have had lots of no shows or last min lame excuses.

Some people bottle out or some do have stuff that can come up last minute but you can usually spot the ones that are just going to mess you around.

Always a coffee meet now before anything more and that thankfully has stopped most of the no shows.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I was a no show with someone because I got locked into a garage by staff that went home

I rang and gave an hours notice but we met the next time

I had a no show for a coffee meet when I was at the coffee shop but it was a family emergency which was way more important that meeting me

Anyone that goes radio silence and fails to show should be reported and blocked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ara198Woman
over a year ago

maynooth

I had a meet arranged in a hotel few years back with a couple, luckily I was in a couple then too, we booked the hotel and paid, travelled the 2 hour journey, checked in, then got the text, can't make it something has come up. We still enjoyed the room and the night but got no explanation. I suppose at least they texted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s devastating. How could anyone do that! I’ve had 2 unofficial meets on here and both were on time and no messing about. I definitely wouldn’t mess around with a meet and if the unthinkable happened I’d be definitely on the phone to reschedule or cancel in plenty of time. Can’t understand why people do crap like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

"Christ it's frustrating when the person you're waiting on not only doesn't weigh in, but doesn't even text to say they won't/can't make it.

So, honesty time! Has anyone here performed a no show on a meet? And are there any valid circumstances for not communicating that it wasn't happening?

(and yes, it happened to me today, hence the retaliatory

Ask the bug thing

indignant form topic) "

he knows everything about it people life. puck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *upermanslovechildMan
over a year ago

Glasnevin

Yes I've had to do it on one occasion, came down to me being getting a close contact message on the day. Told the other person, anyone has an issue with that well then don't complain if you get COVID off a meet up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

Sorry to hear that OP,we all know things pop up and change our plans but to not message and let the other party know is just bad form!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

yea happened me twice over this past 4 days with the same person..fiirst meet organised the day beforehand then the day of supposed meet nada nothing texts ignored not even an acknowledgement..the following dy i say hey and im told i was really tired yesterday and i didnt want to leave the house..no biggy say I sure no pressure then another meet was arranged for today and hey presto radio silence stone walled ..text was ignored

sure what do we expect its only an nsa site..people chance their mind like the weather..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

"Christ it's frustrating when the person you're waiting on not only doesn't weigh in, but doesn't even text to say they won't/can't make it.

So, honesty time! Has anyone here performed a no show on a meet? And are there any valid circumstances for not communicating that it wasn't happening?

(and yes, it happened to me today, hence the retaliatory

Ask the bug thing

indignant form topic)

he knows everything about it people life. puck"

Huh??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *j2000Man
over a year ago

mayo

Have had it happen 4 times, first time we agreed time and sent eircode, she sent message "leaving now", went to send message "I had to run to the shop and would leave door unlocked" to find profile deleted.

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately this site is gone very bad for it. Iv had couples and singles all letting me down in last 12 months. About to meet, then profile deleted etc or no message back. A couple of years back this place was more straighg forward. Strange times. Seems to be same for all types on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have had it happen 4 times, first time we agreed time and sent eircode, she sent message "leaving now", went to send message "I had to run to the shop and would leave door unlocked" to find profile deleted.

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

You advising to book a few meets and choose at last minute?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

You were going to leave your door unlocked for a stranger to let themselves in?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

"Unfortunately this site is gone very bad for it. Iv had couples and singles all letting me down in last 12 months. About to meet, then profile deleted etc or no message back. A couple of years back this place was more straighg forward. Strange times. Seems to be same for all types on here"

I don’t see any difference in the site and the messers over the last 14 years tbh.

It’s certainly more difficult to arrange meets since March 2020 but that’s to be expected.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omtom1969Man
over a year ago

ashbourne

"When I first joined fab I got a non show twice in a row!!

Communication right up to the time agreed and then nothing.

He came back the next day with some story and I believed him as I was very naive

After he left me in a non show for the 2nd time and this time in a hotel room I wised up!!

Lesson learnt lol

Can't believe someone would be a no show for you ,,, well his loss , twice ,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway

I have once or twice had to cancel last minute due to sick kids but i rescheduled straight away so did actually meet up

When i first joined i remember having a,coffee meet and parked car and clocked him sitting in beer garden...his profile was 45 but he was at least 65 but i couldnt just drive away so had a perfectly pleasant coffee and chat but needless to say did not meet again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

There is a wide range of reasons for a no-show, but the crucial response is to learn from the experience, move on (very promptly) and if necessary modify one's future approach for arranging a meet.

Some people do get cold feet at the last moment, go 'quieter' on the day and then ghost; or minor crises can occasionally arise such as work commitments, or the babysitter failing to show up at the last minute; but there are some individuals who do enjoy faking a build-up to a meet, fail to show and then 'disappear' and block, without any explanation.

I would suggest that if a 'meet' has been arranged after an initial social in a public area, and either person (or couple) goes off the idea, for whatever reason, the most mature respectful approach is to be politely direct and state that you're no longer interested.

If this produces an angry or adverse response, then block completely, and quietly inform the others within your close network.

Reputation is everything in life, and in a small community like this, it takes very little time for a 'bad' reputation, to become common knowledge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's make it humorous. What's the best/funniest reason you can come up with for doing a vanishing act? "

We were abducted by aliens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never done it but it's happened us afew times

Best excuse(afew days later) was my dog didn't want me to leave

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog ate the car keys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *j2000Man
over a year ago

mayo

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

You advising to book a few meets and choose at last minute? "

No but I would hope to be treated with respect the same way I treat every1 else

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

You advising to book a few meets and choose at last minute?

No but I would hope to be treated with respect the same way I treat every1 else"

Don't we all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *j2000Man
over a year ago

mayo

Another 1 agreed to meet 3 ppl the 1 night. (Found out through a friend later)

Other 2 then put profile private after they were hour late with no reply to messages.

Have spoken to few Bi girls I know, some on here, some are not and they even say girls are the worst, book a few ppl and choose at last minute.

Rant over lol

You were going to leave your door unlocked for a stranger to let themselves in?"

Nothing to take only bills lol

No I was probably going to be back before her anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

"Let's make it humorous. What's the best/funniest reason you can come up with for doing a vanishing act?

We were abducted by aliens

At least you still got some probing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

[Removed by poster at 30/12/21 21:28:34]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"There is a wide range of reasons for a no-show, but the crucial response is to learn from the experience, move on (very promptly) and if necessary modify one's future approach for arranging a meet.

If this produces an angry or adverse response, then block completely, and quietly inform the others within your close network.

Reputation is everything in life, and in a small community like this, it takes very little time for a 'bad' reputation, to become common knowledge.

You've a blank profile with no verifications

What do you think your reputation is in this small community

Where do you come up with this stuff

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

"There is a wide range of reasons for a no-show, but the crucial response is to learn from the experience, move on (very promptly) and if necessary modify one's future approach for arranging a meet.

It was already arranged and a place and time agreed so my approach for arranging a meet obviously wasn't the issue. Her lack of respect in sticking to the arrangement was.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a wide range of reasons for a no-show, but the crucial response is to learn from the experience, move on (very promptly) and if necessary modify one's future approach for arranging a meet.

It was already arranged and a place and time agreed so my approach for arranging a meet obviously wasn't the issue. Her lack of respect in sticking to the arrangement was.

I always find it odd been told to look at my approach to getting meets when I've been stood up. I always agree to meet in a public place, pick a time, try not to spend too long chatting even though some of the longer timeliness chats have had successful coffee meets. I swap a face pic, I'm very clear that I'm not skinny/slim etc and yet guys still let me down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway

"There is a wide range of reasons for a no-show, but the crucial response is to learn from the experience, move on (very promptly) and if necessary modify one's future approach for arranging a meet.

It was already arranged and a place and time agreed so my approach for arranging a meet obviously wasn't the issue. Her lack of respect in sticking to the arrangement was.

Their loss dd

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The most significant occasion for me was when the lady failed to show for a meet in a coffee shop in Belfast, but after having spoken to her face to face on many occasions.

However, not wishing to pressurise her for her details (she worked in a sensitive occupation) I did not press for a phone number nor an e-mail address.

In my case, modification of my own approach would be having SOME means of contact, and if it was unavailable to not proceed.

I actually suspected that she was stringing me along, in the presence of her colleagues, and I also ensured she had no means of contacting me too!

When she didn't show, I was unsurprised and I just put it down to experience and learned from it.

I had totally put it out of my mind until I read this thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I can say to the Granny's of the single guys on Fab you better get your affairs in order and write your will because you're very likely to die suddenly on a Saturday afternoon unexpectedly. It's terrible the poor Grannys that keep dying suddenly some even a few times over ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"All I can say to the Granny's of the single guys on Fab you better get your affairs in order and write your will because you're very likely to die suddenly on a Saturday afternoon unexpectedly. It's terrible the poor Grannys that keep dying suddenly some even a few times over ..."

Just use RIP .ie to verify

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *1n_eaterMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Never been or had a no show. Punctuality all the way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dfabMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne

News Alert!

Grannies are in danger of dying!

Age thought to be a major factor

No, I've never used that one on Fab myself, or other excuses, I think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sbotangoMan
over a year ago

Close by

A no show with no contact before to explain is at best bad manners and at worst a wind up merchant unless as previously stated there was some kind of emergency or accident. Never non showed myself but then as a bloke ur im delighted to get a meet so im always eager lol. Anyway if u get a no show don’t dwell on it and try to stay positive the the next meet will be more successful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been a no-show but had to cancel literally last minute. It was right at the start of the pandemic and I was about 10 mins from the hotel when I got a call from my eldest's school to tell ne to come and collect them immediately as they'd developed a cough and been quarantined. Nothing I could do but say sorry and hotfoot it back home.

Shite move from whoever was supposed to meet you OP and, little consolation it may be, but they really missed out on spending time with an absolutely cracking man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had to do a no show.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrod OP Man
over a year ago

moira

"Never been a no-show but had to cancel literally last minute. It was right at the start of the pandemic and I was about 10 mins from the hotel when I got a call from my eldest's school to tell ne to come and collect them immediately as they'd developed a cough and been quarantined. Nothing I could do but say sorry and hotfoot it back home.

Shite move from whoever was supposed to meet you OP and, little consolation it may be, but they really missed out on spending time with an absolutely cracking man

Thank you, you'll be making me blush

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unnerbenMan
over a year ago

Dublin / Cork

I have been let down a few times . Some times last minute message , sometimes a no show and then followed up next day by excuses . I have never failed to show up for arranged meet . Very frustrating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unninglinguist69Man
over a year ago

Belfast

I have Never been a no show. If you say you're going to be there then be there. If you know there's going to be a chance things might change let the person know in advance as its so much easier for everyone when they know.

There's alot to be said for just being a genuine person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"My dog ate the car keys

Plenty of lube, latex gloves and laxatives should do the trick for retrieval

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *denmab2Man
over a year ago

carlow

Yes unfortunately got caught twice having travelled to naas. When I got there an tried to ring an text the phone was turned off. Really dents the confidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago

London

Never not turned up but have been stood up on numerous occasions. We just enjoy a coffee ourselves. It’s a lesson not to travel or interfere with other plans for that initial social meet.

Had a few socials arranged where ghosting by our prospective meet starts a week or so out, profile disappears and all, so we don’t bother following through in that situation. Hardly counts as a no show on our part?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

We've never not shown up and wouldn't do it, we have had it done to us though which was very frustrating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *angero3aMan
over a year ago

swords

yes happen to me a few year back had been talking and share pic with married couple over a few weeks arrange to meet never showed up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Got a call from my Dad before that his car had broken down (90 miles away) ..so that nearly made me cancel a meet that day

JOKE!

I cancelled meet and rescheduled. Date seemed ok with that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Christ it's frustrating when the person you're waiting on not only doesn't weigh in, but doesn't even text to say they won't/can't make it.

So, honesty time! Has anyone here performed a no show on a meet? And are there any valid circumstances for not communicating that it wasn't happening?

(and yes, it happened to me today, hence the retaliatory indignant form topic) "

Never if I say I’ll

Go I will. And unless you’re dead there is no excuse to not contact

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a meet with a guy but he cancelled a hour before saying he had fallen and injured his knee, even sent a pic of the injury including fading yellow bruises and healing stitches,

Jump forward 3 years,

Has a meet with a guy pulled same excuse sent same pic of injured knee,

Poor fuc..., stuck in A+E for 3 years,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hemaskedladyCouple
over a year ago

clonmel

I understand why people don't show up if they get cold feet but no text is not on. Basic manners and consideration of others doesn't cost anything or take up much time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

You know it all comes down to confidence.. And that comes from self esteem and if you have

A low self esteem it can go either way you can meet and everything is great or you can totally bottle it.. Its a fine line.. Some are genuine time wasters that get a kick out of playing people others are tragic human beings..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ewitching1Woman
over a year ago

belfast

Just unlucky, and I'm sure they will make it up to you when they see how pissed you are. Hopefully you were not too put out if I'd booked a hotel I'd be super pissed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aislean313Man
over a year ago

Tallaght

"Christ it's frustrating when the person you're waiting on not only doesn't weigh in, but doesn't even text to say they won't/can't make it.

So, honesty time! Has anyone here performed a no show on a meet? And are there any valid circumstances for not communicating that it wasn't happening?

(and yes, it happened to me today, hence the retaliatory indignant form topic) "

thats an awful thing to happen - its very disrepectful - of course things can crop up but ffs surely the decent thing would be to at least message - hope you have better luck next time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aislean313Man
over a year ago

Tallaght

"Had a meet with a guy but he cancelled a hour before saying he had fallen and injured his knee, even sent a pic of the injury including fading yellow bruises and healing stitches,

Jump forward 3 years,

Has a meet with a guy pulled same excuse sent same pic of injured knee,

Poor fuc..., stuck in A+E for 3 years,

same fella or different ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Never had a no show but get cancelled on numerous times best one was as i was about to leave he messaged to say his cow got loose and he'd to chase it down the lane so he would have to cancelled ... udderly annoying ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilaboutMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

Never happened to me or never did it to anyone very easy to send a message if things werent going to plan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothride530Man
over a year ago

Dubljn / kildare

[Removed by poster at 03/01/22 00:04:45]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothride530Man
over a year ago

Dubljn / kildare

"When I first joined fab I got a non show twice in a row!!

Communication right up to the time agreed and then nothing.

He came back the next day with some story and I believed him as I was very naive

After he left me in a non show for the 2nd time and this time in a hotel room I wised up!!

Lesson learnt lol

"
. ?????? He definitely needs his head examined to miss a date with you ??????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His loss I definetly wouldn’t no show if I was going to meet you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread