FabSwingers.com forum: Silly jokes ..go on make someone laugh

By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

The man that invented human cloning has died .

The mourners will probably be beside themselves at the funeral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking hate Russian dolls……………. There’re just full of themselves!!

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

So there is an emotion party

A knock on the door and someone is dressed in green . Green with envy the host says , come in

A knock on the door and someone is dressed in red. Red with rage the host says , come in .

Then there is a knock . Two guys. One has his member in a tin of pears and the other in a bowl of custard .

The host says what in the name of god are you dressed as ?

The guy who knocked says : Well I am deep in despair and my mate is fucking disgusted !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm ashamed to say this but I don't get it

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

Why didn't the prawn share his treasure..... He was a little shellfish

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?

Sofishticated

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"I'm ashamed to say this but I don't get it"

Deep in this pear

Fuckin this custard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a factory that makes just ok products?

A satis-factory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur??

Alickalotapuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods. The bear had a few beers and a spicy curry the night before. The rabbit is a health freak.

After the bear is done he turns to the rabbit and says "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit looks confused and says "no, I've never had a problem with that"

The bear smiles and says "good" and picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with him.

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By *urFabFun21Couple
over a year ago

Somewhere

How do you wake Lady Gaga up?

You poker face!

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.....

But I've turned myself around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see all the calendar companies are going out of business. Their days are numbered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two guinea pigs are having a drink in a bar. One asks the other, "have you had the Covid vaccine yet?" The other answers, "nah, I'm waiting until the human trials are over".

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Two guinea pigs are having a drink in a bar. One asks the other, "have you had the Covid vaccine yet?" The other answers, "nah, I'm waiting until the human trials are over"."

Brilliant

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

Can February March?

No, but April May!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I swallowed a load of scrabble tiles,

The next trip to the toilet might spell disaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Son to dad: dad, what’s the difference between theory and reality?

Dad: go and ask your mum if she’d sleep with the milkman for a million quid. Then go and ask your sister if she’d sleep with the milkman for a million quid.

Son returns: they both said they would.

Dad: well there you go, that’s the difference between theory and reality. In theory we’re sitting on two million quid, but in reality we’re living with a pair of slappers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I've been seeing the girl from across the road for about a month now...

Binoculars are great, aren't they?

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I read that as clothing first & totally didn't get it & then I reread it haha very good

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Y'all are too funny

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Dear haters, I couldn't help but notice that 'Awesome' ends with 'Me' and 'Ugly starts with 'U'

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By *Sparkie.Man
over a year ago

Ratoath

A guy walks goes into a bar and orders 3 Tripple whiskeys...

The bartender asks, "What's the occasion?"

As he's downing the second shot, the guy replies, "it was a big one, I'm celebrating a blowjob"

The bartender says, "Congratulations, let me give you one more on the house!"

The guy says, "No thanks, if 3 triple whiskeys doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more won't help."

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"A guy walks goes into a bar and orders 3 Tripple whiskeys...

The bartender asks, "What's the occasion?"

As he's downing the second shot, the guy replies, "it was a big one, I'm celebrating a blowjob"

The bartender says, "Congratulations, let me give you one more on the house!"

The guy says, "No thanks, if 3 triple whiskeys doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more won't help."

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By *adhatter and coCouple
over a year ago

Middle of mayo n peaceful tranquility

What has premature ejaculation and hide and go seek got in common,,,, READY OR NOT, HERE I COME,,

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

Did you hear about the guy who invented the Knock-Knock joke?

He won the no-bell prize!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rabbit, a preist and a duck walk into a bar. The barman asks the rabbit why are you here? Autocorrect the rabbit replies.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"A guy walks goes into a bar and orders 3 Tripple whiskeys...

The bartender asks, "What's the occasion?"

As he's downing the second shot, the guy replies, "it was a big one, I'm celebrating a blowjob"

The bartender says, "Congratulations, let me give you one more on the house!"

The guy says, "No thanks, if 3 triple whiskeys doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more won't help."

"
Two goats are at the back entrance of a film set , One is chewing on a film reel the other goat says is that any good , It’s not bad but the book was better

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By *ligoMan
over a year ago

East Mayo

Did you hear about the Cavan man who brought his kids to the cemetery on Xmas day to show them Santas grave.

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By *onedbodMan
over a year ago

co Galway

What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Netflix and Amazon Prime are no longer available in Afghanistan.....

Because of the telly ban.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who invented the see through bra ??

Seemore Diddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Help!

Im playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.

Ive only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR..

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By *icko48Man
over a year ago

dublin

Why did the pervert cross the road

His dick was still stuck in the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I drank some invisible ink by mistake,now I'm at casualty waiting to be seen.

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By *icko48Man
over a year ago

dublin

I brought my dog to they he wasn’t well

I carried him in

The vet said give him to me

So I did

He said I have to put him down

I said why

Vet said he’s too heavy

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By *phrodite72Woman
over a year ago

dublin/galway

"Help!

Im playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.

Ive only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR.."

Haha that made me laugh out loud

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By *rown Eyed BeautiesCouple
over a year ago

In and around Louth, Meath, Cavan

[Removed by poster at 29/12/21 22:28:26]

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By *eekfreek00Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Why is 6 afraid of 7?? Coz 7 ate 9

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By *eekfreek00Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Two men walk into a bar...

You would think one of them would have seen it!

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By *eekfreek00Man
over a year ago

Dublin

What's fat, pink and wobbly?

Grandma holding her breath!!

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By *eekfreek00Man
over a year ago

Dublin

What do ya call a woman in between two houses??

Elaine

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By *eekfreek00Man
over a year ago

Dublin

What do ya call a woman goal keeper??

Annette

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

I ate German food once and got really sick. The doctor said I should fear the wurst.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes so she gave me a hug....

My wife had a pair of her knickers stolen off the washing line...

She's not bothered about the pants but wants the 12 clothes pegs back...

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

I never trust stairs.

They are always up to something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman that burns all her bills?

Bernadette

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

What do you call a rich elf?

Welfy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 30/12/21 18:41:54]

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Knock knock"

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

Pffft!

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Knock knock

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

Pffft!

Ok ok, who's there?

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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

"Knock knock"

Don't leave us hanging

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

"Remember to poop before midnight tomorrow

You don't want to be carrying the same shit into next year "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

Pffft!

Ok ok, who's there?"

I eat map

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Knock knock

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

Pffft!

Ok ok, who's there?

I eat map"

I'm not saying it & you can't make me!

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By *igB00mMan
over a year ago

Kildare

What do male robots do after sex?

They nut and bolt...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting company. Could you text instead

Pffft!

Ok ok, who's there?

I eat map

I'm not saying it & you can't make me!"

Pmsl ya said into yourself. That's enough for me heheheee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

-Doctor doctor, I feel like a jigsaw puzzle

-Yeah, you look in bits alright

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

What's small, red and hard??

A strawberry with a flick-knife!

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Did you know that I met my wife at a swingers party

I said "You should be home looking after the kids!"

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

When a fire breaks out at a swingers club

It causes premature evacuation

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

I gave my son 6 pieces of cardboard for Christmas.

I told him It was an ex-box !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When a fire breaks out at a swingers club

It causes premature evacuation

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know this couple, both of whom have a glass eye, who hooked up during a game of marbles... their eyes met across the floor

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

What's the difference between oooohh and aaahhhhhh......

About 3 inches

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke "

we are hilarious

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

This thread has had me in tears of laughter - thank you!

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

An Irishman, scotsman and a welsh man walk into a bar....

Obviously the bar is in england

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke

we are hilarious

Yes, you most definitely are.

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke

we are hilarious

Yes, you most definitely are.

Haha I can't cope with all the Hi babe mmmmm xxxx msgs

I imagine that like me, most have a cheat code for access though

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I went to a swingers party the other night and the lights were kept off...

I don't know what came over me

Then a few weeks ago I was at a swingers party where everyone had masks on. One looked like my uncles hot wife. Needless to say though, it was an "anti-climax"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke

we are hilarious

Yes, you most definitely are.

Haha I can't cope with all the Hi babe mmmmm xxxx msgs

I imagine that like me, most have a cheat code for access though

Unlocking cheat codes?

I imagine that requires patience and persistence.

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"User has blocked everyone of your sex.

Great joke

we are hilarious

Yes, you most definitely are.

Haha I can't cope with all the Hi babe mmmmm xxxx msgs

I imagine that like me, most have a cheat code for access though

Unlocking cheat codes?

I imagine that requires patience and persistence.

Lol not really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s better than a 69 ?? 88 cause you get 8 twice

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"What’s better than a 69 ?? 88 cause you get 8 twice "

Ba dum tish

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By *ifewantstoplayCouple
over a year ago

somewhere

Patient: I feel like a wigwam and a tepee

Doctor: Calm down you’re two tents

T xx

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By *xperimental CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Fab

Why does Mr Tayto have a phone?

Encase onion rings

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By *xperimental CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Fab

Was at a zoo once, it wasn't great. It only had 1 animal in it. A dog. It was a shitzu

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because she outgrew her B-shells!

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because she outgrew her B-shells!"

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because she outgrew her B-shells!

They grow up so fast.

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said. "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hitman"

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"Do you mind if I take a look? I think I might be able to see my House from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the Direction of is house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom.

Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour In there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"

He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand euro every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good one Bog

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

v good

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

Bog-Man, Nice one.

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

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By *orkcouple81Couple
over a year ago

west

My wife asked me at breakfast time,

"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice

of toast and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

I declined. "Thanks for asking but I'm not hungry

right now. It's this Viagra," I said.

"It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asked me if I'd like something.

"How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a

cheese sandwich?"

I declined again. "The Viagra," I said, "really trashes my

desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks me if I wanted anything to eat.

"Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious

apple pie or maybe a chicken or tasty stir fry?"

I declined again.. "No," I said, "it's got to be the Viagra.

I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm fucking starving.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A dsylexic man walks into a bra.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boss said "why are all the women in your office crying?”

I said, “You told me to bang some heads together.”

He said, “talk about taking things too literally!”

It took me another day to prepare a powerpoint presentation on that subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A dsylexic man walks into a bra....."

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac? He lay in bed all night wondering if there was a dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife asked me at breakfast time,

"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice

of toast and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

I declined. "Thanks for asking but I'm not hungry

right now. It's this Viagra," I said.

"It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asked me if I'd like something.

"How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a

cheese sandwich?"

I declined again. "The Viagra," I said, "really trashes my

desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks me if I wanted anything to eat.

"Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious

apple pie or maybe a chicken or tasty stir fry?"

I declined again.. "No," I said, "it's got to be the Viagra.

I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm fucking starving....."

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

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By *onderingpurposeMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Did you hear about the man who drowned in Muesli?

He was dragged under by the current.

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Did you hear about the man who drowned in Muesli?

He was dragged under by the current.

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

This is embarrassing. Dinner tasted a bit odd this evening. So, as I've got a bit of a sore throat, I thought a lateral flow test would be in order. The result is just in... and it's sadly negative, which means the dinner must have been crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is embarrassing. Dinner tasted a bit odd this evening. So, as I've got a bit of a sore throat, I thought a lateral flow test would be in order. The result is just in... and it's sadly negative, which means the dinner must have been crap"

Definitely bad taste there bogman

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

That needs a dinner do-over with something you know is tasty

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

That needs a dinner do-over with something you know is tasty

I presume you'd not talking Italian

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

That needs a dinner do-over with something you know is tasty

I presume you'd not be talking Italian "

If Italian is tasty then yes. I want to go to Italy & eat everything in sight. You like Italy right?

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

That needs a dinner do-over with something you know is tasty

I presume you'd not be talking Italian

If Italian is tasty then yes. I want to go to Italy & eat everything in sight. You like Italy right?

Never been ....love the food

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By *ocbrownMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny/Waterford

Grilled a chicken for 2 hours yesterday.

Fucker still won't tell me why he crossed the road.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was the name of the 1st Russian author?

I've-or-knickers-of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who wrote the book, bubbles in the bath?

Windy Bottom

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

That needs a dinner do-over with something you know is tasty

I presume you'd not be talking Italian

If Italian is tasty then yes. I want to go to Italy & eat everything in sight. You like Italy right?

Never been ....love the food

Lets go to Italy

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By *awkeye_30Man
over a year ago

Limerick

Did you hear about the crazy egg? Got caught running around town with his yoke hanging out!

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By *nceuponatimecplCouple
over a year ago

The edge of town

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman....

Snowballs....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do midgets laugh when they run through fields?

The grass tickles their balls!

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Breaking news....

Due to shortage of lateral tests..

Govt are going to introduce a new self testing system..

You place one finger in your arse and one in your mouth.

After 5 mins you switch the round..

If you cant taste or smell the difference you self isolate

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By *eadbobbingMan
over a year ago

Nass

What's the difference between a JCB and a giraffe?

One has hydraulics the other has high bollix

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Was given a copy of the Swingers special edition of Cludoe for Christmas.....

Turns out they all did it ....and in every room

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

If "A Cougar" looses her hearing

Does that make her "A Def Leppard"

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

Some classic ones today

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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

Google the word "askew "

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Google the word "askew " "

Hilarious

I was a little worried initially

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"Google the word "askew "

Hilarious

I was a little worried initially"

Heh, I was the same.

" Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door."

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Google the word "askew "

Hilarious

I was a little worried initially

Heh, I was the same.

" Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door.""

Oh God, just imagine the children waking up to that sight

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Google the word "askew " "

Thats horrendous. 0/10 do not recommend.

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By *damdubfunMan
over a year ago

dublin south

Who can drink 5 ltrs of petrol??

Jerrycan

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

"Google the word "askew "

Hilarious

I was a little worried initially

Heh, I was the same.

" Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door."

Oh God, just imagine the children waking up to that sight

The sequel to the song "I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause."

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